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Hi,
I found out on Wednesday that I am pregnant :dance: DH and I have decided not to tell anyone until I am 12 weeks because I have had 2 previous miscarriages (both at 12 wks). We are going away in April with a group of friends for a kid free weekend. I would normally drink etc if I wasn't pregnant. Can any of you help me think of an excuse to tell everyone why I can't drink that weekend? Seeing as we don't want anyone to know I am pregnant. Any thoughts would be great!!!
You could just say that you are taking medication and you cant drink alcohol while you are taking them.
I think most people use the on antibiotics line. OR too be funny you could say your on the pill & really don't want to fall pg so not taking any chances of the alcohol interfering & causing a whoopsie LOL.
Or just make your own drinks & make a "mixed" drink with coke & well coke LOL.
Lol thanks for the ideas, I really don't think the antibiotics excuse will work some how. Someone said pretend to drink vodka (pour plain water in a vodka bottle) and then just tip that in a cup and mix with orange juice, it's a good idea but one of my close friends drinks vodka and I know she'll want to share the bottle with me.
Tell them that you lost a bet with DH so you're the designated driver for the next year.
Or you've given up alcohol for Lent.
Or you're on a liver cleansing diet.
Can you um...be on a kidney detox? (ETA: Oh, Chloe, is it the liver...I so don't know anything about bodies!!) A dare? How about - make a bet with your husband or a friend? Get them to say, I bet you can't drink alcohol for a month, I'll give you *whatever* if you can make it (it has to be good enough for your friends to understand why you've taken up the offer).
Congratulations though! All the best for a sticky one! :)
The bet excuse sounds good, I'll now have to think of something I can pretend that we have bet on.If anyone has ideas I would really appreciate it.
I would def do the pretend thing - you can "pretend" to drink:
Vodka, soda and lime - just have soda and lime
Burbon and coke: just have coke
Barcardi and OJ - just have OJ
Fruit ****tails - just have the fruit and juice!!
Word up the barman and they can help you!! Oh just remembered - coke isn't a great idea while pregnant. Well anything with soda or lemonade. Or allergies to alcohol - that's prob taking it abit far!
Actually I'm not sure if anyone who is going likes Bacardi, I like it and I have a bottle with only 1/4 left in it so I might tip it out and fill with water, hopefully I'll get away with no one finding out. I might just take a small bottle and say it has to last me for the whole weekend, that way I say I can't share it with anyone. If I have any morning sickness by the time I go (I will be 9 wks when we go) I can just pretend I am hungover!!!
I think the diet/detox is the way to go. I've used it before when I actually was on a detox, people left me alone once I was firm that I was sticking to my detox plan. Just say you're doing it now because you've been feeling un-well, tired, lack lustre, and once the detox is done you promise to have a drink with everyone - by then you can tell them you're pg!
Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way - sending sticky vibes! :)
Hmmm, I never, ever buy the "antibiotics" trick. Ever!
If you pretend to drink then you have to pretend to be drunk.....
If your friends know about your other m/c's, I'd be inclined to tell them you are getting checked out for problems and having tests etc so you have to knock off the alcohol for a few weeks until the testing is over.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.
You could say that you are "on call" for work and don't want to drink in case you had to drive back.
Things I used:
"I'm training properly now for <insert sports event> so I'm off the booze"
"I've taken up healthy eating so no alcohol for me at the moment"
Also, I practiced 'pretend drinking'. For example, at a Christmas party, I got a stubby and so did my husband - I pretended to drink from mine, he drank from his, then we'd put them down on a table next to each other and 'accidentally' pick up the wrong one. Hey presto, you've drunk nothing but you've got an empty stubby to show for it. Did the same with wine, just tasted it once then wandered around and left my glass sitting somewhere, hubby would come and drink most of it, then I'd pick it up and wander again and mingle.
Honestly, I think that "pretend" drinking isnt a good idea. in the near future when you start telling people you are pregnant - some people might "gossip" and go on about them seeing you drink "that time". Not a good thing.
Sometimes i just dont want to drink, and i usually get "why? are you pregnant?".... Some people just cant understand that unless you have a darn good excuse (driving, medication, bf, pregnant...). That's todays society for you huh? It's actually really sad.
You could say that you had a stomach upset a few days before, and you dont think its a good idea to drink (might get the runs...). That will shut them up, lol.
Excuses didn't work for me. My close family and friends noticed I wasn't drinking (and I only ever had 1 or 2 drinks anyway) so it was like a red rag to a bull for them. They didn't say anything about it until I told them I was pregnant, then said, stuff like "I thought so, I'd noticed you weren't drinking every time we saw you". I usually said stuff like I didn't feel like a drink today.
We ended up telling close family around around 8 weeks anyway as we got too excited and couldn't keep it too ourselves (all my losses were earlier than that).
My friends would notice too if i wasnt drinking at a special occassion, even though i usually only have 1 or 2. I was pg at my dh's 30th so i stashed a bottle of non alcoholic wine (from the supermarket) in the back of the fridge and just sipped that during the night. I guess you could rinse out an old screw top chardy bottle and fill it with something else. I guess you might still have the problem of sharing :dunno:
Good luck and have a super time whatever you decide
Hmmm... its sad how we have to think of 'excuses' because just saying "don't feel like it" is never good enough :wall:
I don't really like the pretend drinking one, because it can backfire in so many ways. Like someone buying you a drink, or pouring your drink...
I don't drink anyway, but on my mums 40th there were people I didn't know who asked why I wasn't drinking (and no one knew I was pregnant and so I couldn't just say that) I just said "I don't want to" and if someone asked me why I'd go into a speil of how everyone these days expects you to be drinking, everyone thinks its completely normal and acceptable to get trashed, and I was making a stand against it and showing people that you can have a perfectly good time by not drinking. It shut them up :p
As you said 'child free', are you leaving your 2 yr old with someone?? I'd use the excuse that your little one wasn't feeling the best, and you may have to go back to her at any time, and need to keep your wits about you.;) No one can argue with staying sober for your baby, who might be sick!!! Just add a few, "gee, wish i could drink too, maybe next time" and you should be fine!! Good luck!!:D
I don't do the pretend drinking thing. I either say I don't feel well, (have a headache) and add that alcohol makes it worse, or I have a lemon, lime and bitters (light on the bitters). Ginger beer is the best drink though, especially if you feel morning sick, and it looks alcoholic. Honestly, do people really care??? No one has ever asked me why I'm not drinking... maybe I just mix with oblivious people :dunno:
Needing to be sober to care for other children is a very good idea Jodie! Although childless people don't often "get" that you need to not be in a deep sleep/hungover when a child wakes up crying in the night or is sick.
Thanks for all your ideas, I can't use the excuse that my child is sick and that I may have to go home because we live in Cairns and are actually flying to Brisbane for that weekend. My mum is looking after my daughter. So there isn't really any excuse for me not to let my hair down and enjoy myself (well that's what they'll all be saying). My DH said maybe we should just tell them all that I am pregnant but after having 2 miscarriages I would really prefer to wait on telling everyone until I am at least 12 wks, it's just easier for me.
Maybe I could use the excuse that Lulu2 suggested and say that during the week when we arrive home I am getting tests done to find out the causes of my past miscarriages and why it is taking me so long to fall pregnant and that I cant have alcohol for a week before the tests. That would work and that way they'll know I definitely can't drink.
Yep Lulu's idea is good and foolproof.
Otherwise, maybe claim cystitis.
If you don't know, cystitis makes it painful to wee and can be caused by being dehydrated so alcohol definitely makes it worse. And you have to go to the loo all the time but not much comes out (so could also explain you going to the loo a lot if you need to). But it's not something that would really affect your weekend so you don't have to pretend to be sicker than you are. You could also say you'd had too much to drink the night before you went away and that's what brought it on.
Plus because it's affecting something "down there", people tend not to ask too many questions.
Yes! Cystitis!(UTI, urinary tract infection) Brilliant suggestion! With the fertility tests you'd have to be certain that one of your friends isn't in the medical field... or could be facing even more questions.
Thanks Fiona, that sounds great!!! Like you said it wont affect my weekend and I can still do everything that we plan on doing that weekend. Fantastic idea.
Take a couple of packets of Ural from the chemist too and make a big show of mixing them up. They're just a special drink that helps with cystitis but harmless if you don't have it.
Good idea, so if I have to drink it in front of everyone it wont harm the baby or anything? I just don't want to risk anything.
Check with the chemist but I'm 99% sure it won't do any harm.
Drinking lots of water is just as good (the idea is to flush out the system) but if any of the other women have had it they'll tell you to get some Ural and if you've already got some sachets, it looks more convincing iykwim.
You'll have to claim it's a pretty bad case though to be lasting two days. Just talk it up big time. Say you've had it before but it's never been this bad etc.
Like I say, once you mention anything to with urinary tract infections, most people stop listening so it's a good cover story! Not that I've ever used it as a sickie excuse or anything!
Do you know what, perceptive friends will guess regardless or not of whether you have the right excuse! Enjoy your weekend!