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I've been minding my friend's 3 y.o. today, while looking after DS (12 weeks) & it was exhausting - trying to juggle both kids (keeping 3 y.o. entertained while trying to feed DS & get him to sleep, resettle, etc). Makes me wonder how I will go with 2 (or more). How do you do it?
last year I babysat a 12mth old jack was 9mths old talk about exhausting I used to wonder how mums of twins did it, then I thought by the time they were 12mths they would eb used to it IYKWIM!!!
this year jack is 17mths and the little one I babysit is 14mths man oh man ..........
dont worry im thinking the same thing!
Can I be honest and say it was haaaard at first! And the guilt - sheesh! Took me a few weeks to find my feet and get us all into a routine that worked.
DD was great - it was me that was in tears at the lack of time I was spending with her!
DS was really unsettled the first few weeks and I found the hardest part was when I was trying to resettle him in bed and DD would come in constantly.
It's a learning curve but you get there eventually - 4 months on, I can't remember what it was like with only one! DS is a much more settled bub now which makes it a lot easier.
We still have our days though...but just like you do with one, you do your best and you get through it.
Now that I have two, I wonder how the hell mums with 3, 4, 5 do it - yikes!!
Hi,
A mum I know with 4 kids was talk to me about this the other day and she was saying that it's all about capacity. When you first have one baby it is hard but the older bubs get the easier it gets and you relax into it you learn and you develop the capacity to mostly be calm collected and find it easy to take care of one baby and she said the more kids you have you relax into the role and learn what works for you. She was saying if she has 4 kids given to her at one time she would have been hiding under a rock but as the years went on and the babies came her capacity grew!
I have more respect for my Mum these days, I am one of four kids! She had 3 under 5 too and then I came along 10 years later.
Having Madeleine has been wonderful, she's a great baby, I've had no baby blues, PND or anything, I've got the most supportive partner who works good hours so he is home a bit to help out, I have a Bub that doesn't even cry much! Yet...I think women out there with more than 1 child are "SUPERMUMMYS!"
We only want one child...sometimes I think I am strange for feeling this way...and of course all our friends tell us we'll change our mind...I bet we do in a few years...!!!
I praise all you women out there that juggle two (or more) children...you need a huge big trophy for that!
i was PETRIFIED when my DH had to go back to work night shift and i had to look after my 3 girls alone......PETRIFIED i tell you. Now, 5 months on, i reckon i could handle another (he, he,he).....i think when your routine is thrown a bit out of whack (i.e newborn) then it becomes a bit scary, but once that routine gets nestled back into place, it kinda takes the thinking out of it....
There are some days when Sam is screaming on her play mat, wanting to be cuddled, DD#1 is screaming from the toilet that she wants her bum wiped, and DD#2 wants a drink, and wants it now that i think 'someone help me', but then there are days when they all giggle under the blanket together, or something as simple as that, and you realise why your there !!!!
Mbear, you have gorgeous daughters! You are a SUPERMUMMY!!!!
Honestly some days I just don't know!!! I have a 4yo and a 20 month old ATM (as well as a 13yo DD) and it's still quite challenging. My 4yo will often make it hard to settle my toddler... I'll juuuuuust be lying my little one down in the cot and then BAM! in will walk my 4yo and say "I want to watch Thomas the tank Engine!!!" and my toddler will wake up and that's that. :doh: Gotta start all over again. Or one will be climbing the table while the other is ruining the carpet... what do I try to save? of course the toddler so there has been much more destruction since having more than 1 small child in the house. And then they will occassoinally fight. Oh the joy. This is why (one of many reasons) I waited 9 years to have another... and then another child. I think the reason it's hard though for me is because I have very little help with them. It's more the relentlessness than anything. Of course I love them both. Yes, I agree with 'capacity'. However I have also developed a long term illness which has reduced my capacity. So maybe my experience is worse than it would be if I was healthy.
ahhh thanks Bindy, youve got a bit of a cutie there yourself !!!!
awwww thanks mbear...she is a cutie...what does your hubby do? i noticed his uniform??
I have a three year old and a four month old and I have to say it isn't as hard as I feared it would be! You really do adjust and learn to cope. It was hard having a newborn and a toddler who has been an only child for the last 3 years though! It took some working out, but we have a new rhythm and we are all pretty happy :)
It is hard and sometimes i wonder how i do it but i do. I have a 2yo and a 4 month old. Feeding times are worst esp as DD1 can be jealous but it gets easier every day. I wouldn't change it for the world.
Well said :):
girls, you just do it. I don't know how to describe it. You learn what to do, when, how to make it easier on u, how to deal with the toddlers, how to shut off when u need to (like when ur BF'ing and the toddlers are arguing over a toy) and u give lots of time outs. Consistency is the key. Set boundaries and stick to them. I love it and my newest is only 4wks old. My oldest only 3.5yrs. It's hard at times, I pull my hair out at times. But it is so rewarding and you learn the tricks of the trade along the way. ATM Dh is OS for business so I am doing it by myself. It's not easy, but nor is it terribly hard. And you just have to cope, so you do. And u learn to ask for help/advice when u need it. I would still like another one or two, but thinking I'll wait till Bry is 3 so my girls are in school hehehe. That's the hardest part for me. Entertaining two toddlers 4 days a week by myself. Love pre-school day. I get one on one time with my new man hehehe
wow I thought i was tearing my hair out!! hats off to you..
I am loving 4 as welll but some days,.. We are just emerging from that newborn fogginess. Getting out a bit more now thankfully
Me too Kat!! I also get to have a nap if i'm lucky!!:
Love pre-school day. I get one on one time with my new man hehehe
You just do it because it needs to be done. Some days I find that it is midday I am not showered DD is not dressed and we have only eaten toast and popcorn but we are all happy and healthy.
This is soooooooooooooooooooooooooo us, it almost feels like you have been looking in our window and telling our exact story.:
Can I be honest and say it was haaaard at first! And the guilt - sheesh! Took me a few weeks to find my feet and get us all into a routine that worked.
DD was great - it was me that was in tears at the lack of time I was spending with her!
DS was really unsettled the first few weeks and I found the hardest part was when I was trying to resettle him in bed and DD would come in constantly.
I would never take back having them so close together but it is really hard, and I am a teacher used to dealing with 20-30 kids at a time, but this is a whole different story.
Definitely Ali! I always say that looking after a roomful (25) preschoolers in long care setting was easier than my own three kids 24/7!
Ali maybe it's the name - we have a Miss Tori too!! ;)
Promise it gets better. Our DD is quite a bit older than yours, but we're two months further along and it is sooooo much easier now. Hang in there!