circumcision

I was just wondering if anyone has considered circumcision, And what your thoughts of it are. We are trying to decide the right thing for our son, not us. Most of the males our age that we know are circumcised, as is my husband and most of his male family members. I am on the fence really, as I cant relate, not being a male myself. A lady my mother-in-law works with, has constant problems with her son with infections and he is not circumcised. I do realise that you need to teach your son to clean himself but is this something I should consider. There is a specialist near us that does perform these every day, and my friends son was done there without any dramas. But I don't Necessarily want to base my desicion on her though. :dunno:
Jess

There is no way I would get it done unless it became medically required. My H wasn't done and has never had a problem... yet I know a few men who have had problems with it being done and I really feel for them because it's not reversible.

When considering it for your son too- don't look at the men around you who are done but rather the boys the same age as your son... he would be more concerned with looking like his peers than the older generation. And as it's becoming less common I would think not being done would be fine in that respect.

These days only one or two boys per class are done. Majority are not. When my aunt went to get her son done, the doc said " your looking for the Butcher, he's down the block". I never forgot it. I do family day care and have had no circumsised boys, and none of mine are. Good luck with your decision, its a hard one!!

Studies have proven that uncircumsised have an equal amount of infection as circumsised, which is partly why its generally hard to have done. Up here you have to go private or travel away...

Jesselou, do a search for 'circumcision' in the search box. This topic has been covered numerous times previously and you'll get lots of information from those threads. Hope this helps.

Hi there,

Just wanted you to know that are not alone in being confused as what to do. In some ways I hope that I never have a boy as my 3 brothers are all done and DH isn't, so it will be an even harder decision.

My brother and SIL decided that they wanted to get their son done, but couldn't find a dr willing to do it without medical reasons. It was really hard for them to accept, but they did.

I agree with the other posts, that your son will want to fit in with his peers, rather than being the same as Dad or his uncles, but you also have the other side of family all being circumsized..

It is not going to be an easy decision for you, but you will make the right one for you and your family. GL with the birth..

I have to admit, I have wondered what I would do too. As I have found that many of the men I have know are circumcised, my DH is circumsied, but I'm aware that it is generally not done these days and agree that is should be based on what the children are having done these days and not what was done in the past. I did have an ex who was circumsied as a child/young teen due to infections and he seemed a little traumatised by it. I have seen it get done, without anaesetic and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone, even if it was done with anaestic, the "local" stings anyway. My thoughts are that little boys are born with foreskins, it must be there for a reason, it could be considered a form of mutilation. Female circumcision is definately a major taboo in western society, not to mention how it is often done in developing countries (but that is a differnt debate).
Though many of you wouldn't know that artifical skin (which is used in some burns situation) is grown from the basal cells of forskins, and that 1 foreskin can make a football field worth of skin.
Anyway I guess I don't plan to circumsise any sons I have, though I know my DH has said he would like his boys to look the same as him. So will cross that bridge when we get to it.

My DH isn't and my three boys aren't either. None of them has ever had an infection if that is something that concerns you.

I do know of someone who had her son circumcised and he did end up with an infection and needed to be treated with antibiotics.

A friend of mine just had to get her son re-operated on because of his circumcision... this is the reason she said:

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His surgery is to remove a membrane that has grown over the lower portion of the urethra opening. I guess this happens as a consequence of circumcision. The circumcision causes dryness and so a membrane grows over the opening.

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We got our son done because we didn't want to be faced with the situation of him asking us why he looked different to daddy. My DH said that he never saw any other little boys naked when he was a boy, but he saw his dad naked. So we thought it was better to make him the same as his dad, more odds on him seeing them naked.
But each to their own, I understand why people don't do it, my sister does her boys, my sister in law doesn't. I don't judge either way, I just do what is best for us.
Go with what you think is best for your family situation. Nobody elses opinion matters.

Well my BHL is done but my DS isnt he isnt done because we couldnt find anyone who would do it for us, But that said I am now very happy that he isnt done!! He has never asked why he looks different to his Dad ( one of my consurns) and has had no problems so far, But I have a GF who had her son done and he has come home asking why he is different to his friends... So when it comes down to it, its his mates he want to look like not his Dad as his Dad isnt the one in the change room with him his friends are and kids can be mean... Plus when he is older the girls/boys whichever they deside to be with will be used to it been there not the other way around...

We had our son done because we were more comfortable with the idea than not. There is plenty of information.

If you do a forum search on "Circumcise" I am sure you will come up with a few threads that may help.


Please can I remind everyone that due to the sensitivity of this topic please refrain from making derogative comments regarding both sides. We can explain our reasons without being offensive or disrespectful to others.

I do remember a little boy came into ED once, having pushed his foreskin back, so he looked like his Dad and it wouldn't go back. Luckily the Dr managed to get it back over, so he didn't need a circumcision. I have also cared for several young men, who for what ever reason decided to DIY circumcision, not a good idea.

this is an arguement waiting to happen. this subjet always is.

ok my advice is to make a list of the pro's and cons in regard to having it done. use medical reasons (not peoples opinions) to decide, (i personally think just because dad is done is NOT a good reason)
Visit your local sergion who would be the one to perform it, and get some of the info from them aswell.

I did have my son done and i will be having my twin boys done aswell when they are about a week old. If you would like to see my lists of why we chose to have it done i am more than happy to PM it to you. to look over.

on our personal list we only had one reason not to have it done and thats that something might go wrong but in life this can happen so many times with different things.
I respect people who choose not to have it done as their lists and reasons would be different to mine.

i will just let you know that in my mothers group their are quite a few who are done. and over 1/2 my friends have also chosen to do it as well.

I just recomend to do whats right for you and not what you think is popular.

i live in sydney if you would like to speak to a sergion to get facts about how they do it i am more than happy to tell you a few names of Dr's who came very highly recomended to me by my midwife while i was PG with DS. also you can actually watch it being done with the plasti bell on a medical site i found. cant remember what it was but it was very helpful.

also my mum workes in a age hostel and the men who are not done have many more medical issues than the ones who are

Good luck

Personally it was not an option with mine. I think that the foreskin is there for a reason and it's actually to help protect the head and to keep it clean. Neither of my boys are done and one is almost 1 and the other is almost 15. To date neither of them have had any problems whatsoever.... the skin pulls back when it's ready usually by around 5 years old and it works it way back slowly ... it's part of the reason little boys "play".

That doc I think you're referring to in Brissy.. my friend did get her little boy done there (he's 11 months old) and had problems with infection after and had to go back to get it fixed! She said that she would NEVER do it again and wished she could go back in time.

Oh and on the note of looking like the others... I don't think they notice the "difference" until they are old enough to have a brief explanation anyway so I don't see that as an issue or for me as part of the decision making process.

Best of luck!

Our son is not done and neither will any future sons we have.

But when i was pregnant with DS was seriously considering having him done. When he was born though i just didn't have the heart to go through with it.

I don't think that when he is growing up he will ask why he is different to his mates as most boys these days are not done, so chances are he will look like the majority of them anyhow.

this is a very personal decision..If I have boys in the future I will not have them done even though DH is circumsised...

A friend of mine (she is 55) recently had her son ask her why she had him done when he was a baby as he is very anti circumsision..He now has 2 boys of his own and she said the conversation she had with him had really upset her..I guess that is something to think about even 29 yrs down the track as an adult

I am trying to send a member a pm concerning circumcision however I do not seem to have the permissions I need to contact them. What should I do? I am wanting to help parents whom are wanting to get the circumcision done.

helper you need more posts to ba able to use the private messages.
you could post it on here as long as it isnt advertising

In regards to concerns about looking different, I have never seen two penises that look the same (not that I am an expert!!!:redface:). There are many differences from size, color shape etc.

This is just another thing that makes each man/boy different from each other.

I feel compelled to help other parents wanting to get circumcision done especially if they are unable to find a contact for a dr to perform it. I might have some contacts so you are quite welcome to send me a PM.

I dont think it matters what anyone has said or done...its up to you as the parent to consider all aspects of it.

He might never get an infection at all if you keep his f/s on or he could reach 60 and have to have it removed due to medical reasons and lose all sensation in his penis from then on

He could be ridiculalled at school for having a helmet or be annoyed with you that you took something from him later in life

Cleaning a penis with a foreskin takes 2 mins and is something that becomes second nature to boys..they tend to fiddle a bit down their anyway ;)...makes me laugh cause its almost saying that boys that have been c/s dont have to clean their penis :lol:

You have to weigh up the pro's and con's off it....should you take away something that your child is born with and was ment for a reason? Would you circumcise your daughter?

Foreskins are there for a reason could it be circumcision?

Do a quick google search for "skin bridges" and you'll see why I never considered circumcising my son, and why my husband didn't want it, either. Don't tell my husband that I'm sharing this information, but I think it's important to know.

My husband has skin bridges and a lopsided penis as a result. His circumcision was too severe and the skin stretches too much when he has an erection. I can flat out say from his experience that circumcision is body mutilation.

I think if your son asks "why is daddy different" and you tell him that daddy had his skin snipped off, your son won't be too sad about having his foreskin intact.

We weighed up the pro's and con's when pregnant with our first son as my side is pro-circumcision and Dh's side is non-circumcised. Dh is not done but wishes he were and in the end I expressed my wish to have our son done but if Dh really disagreed Id forgoe it. If he ever got an infection then I would book him in to get it done no arguement. Dh decided in the end better to do it now when they dont remember than have him ask for it done later on if he has any issues like Dh (Dh was traumatised by his issues related to being non-circumcised so it works both ways). We had him done at 4wks old and he doesnt remember a thing, hasnt even ASKED why he and Daddy look different. We had our second son done at 2wks and our third, due soon, will be done as well.

I personally think its a personal choice and there will always be 'OMG' stories from either side of the argument. Dh and I have both heard more men wish they WERE circumcised, than not circumcised. The only way my sons will have a complex about it is if they are "educated" by anti-circed people.

Let me assure it still pee's the same and engorges the same as a non-circed penis, and Im guessing down the track theyll do just fine in the adult relation department too, because they wont know the difference sensation wise between non-circed and circed.

Good luck!

I recommend reading the multiple pages of information on the Birth website, or from any non-biased source.

I am anti circumcision, but DH is done and said he would want his son/s to be done to look like him. I chose not to make an arguement out of it at the time (I wasn't even pregnant when he said this), but chose to read up on the matter once I became pregnant. I read a book, and I searched the net, including videos on YouTube, so that I had a good defence. Then, instead of confronting DH about it and getting all flustered like I do when I argue, I emailed him asking that he please read the facts on the Birth website, and if he still wanted to do it then we could discuss it, but otherwise I'd assume the issue had been dropped. Thankfully he's never mentioned it since. He's probably also noticed that I've joined a couple of anti-c groups on Facebook, and realised I wouldn't be a walkover on this issue! :lol:

So in short - research, research, research!

We had DS done for health reasons. DH is also done. We believe ourselves that its the better option of the two. All the recent studies have confirmed that for us. We also wanted it done at an age our son would not remember. Even though he had no pain, I would hate for him to have to go through it and remember it at a later age. We would not hesitate to have any future sons done also.

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Dh is not done but wishes he were and in the end I expressed my wish to have our son done but if Dh really disagreed Id forgoe it. (Dh was traumatised by his issues related to being non-circumcised so it works both ways).

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My DP was the same and he actually booked himself in to be done when he was 18 (much more painful at that age). His penis looks completely normal (I really like it) and TBH I have never seen an uncircumsised penis (not that I have seen alot)!

I havent really spoken to him too much as to all the reasons that he wanted to get it done. I suppose if we are ever to have a son I would talk to him about it more but we are having a girl (well we better be) so dont have to worry too much about it at the moment.

Sorry maz, you know I love you, but as someone who has had their son circumcised, I find it extremely offensive to equate male circ to female circ. They are not the same, not even comparable.

I would also ask once again, that everyone is respectful to all walks of life, whether you choose to circ or not. Each parent decides what is best for their child, due to their own feelings. And just because those reasons may not seem valid to you does not mean it is wrong.

Ali - good point! Dh considered getting it done as an adult but decided against it as its extremely painful and requires stitches/going under general anaesthetic. I really feel for him because he still has some trouble with it but he just cannot bare to put himself through all that NOW. He spoke to his parents about our decision to do the boys because I felt they should hear from him why we were doing it, he's the one with the penis and the issues. They were fine with it as its OUR decision.

To the OP, just thought I would let you know I have actually seen a circumcision being done (on my Ds2) and I am happy to share my experience with you, although a *bit* distressing Im still glad I had it done. When offered the opportunity to watch I decided if I was going to be pro-circumcision then maybe I should see what Im all for. So I speak from actual experience AND having researched our decision. Like I said before though, in the end its yours and your partners decision and either way I dont think your son will hold it against you whatever you decide :)

FWIW this topic was started almost a year ago and the OP's son is 9 months old now. I think it would be a safe bet that she has already made up her mind one way or another,.

hi ladies , from a male point of view. having circumision done can be risky . you have to be careful they dont take to much foreskin of , because well the male gets older things start happening . the willy wonker can tear and spilt not nice at all . its up to your decision to have it done , but i have never had it done to my children

I have had DS done and will be getting this child done when he is born too.

For us, DH and I were both in agreement, although if either or us were really opposed to the issue then we probably wouldn't of. We researched both sides thoughly. In the end it was medical concerns (which I won't go into) in both DH's and my own family that convinced us that we choose the right thing for our kids. Our dr who performed it, does them regularly (at least 3 times a week for the past 20 years) and you have to attend an appointment prior to getting it done, so you are aware of all of the pro's and con's and can ask any questions you may have. He was very unbias about the whole thing - which is quite pleasant in a medical professional.

Circumcision is considered by more and more parents to be the right decision. The concerns some parents have I think is the penis becomes desensitised in time and this might be true although I have been circumcised for a long time and I do not notice any desensitisation happening in fact if anything it gets more sensitive to pleasure in my experience. In the past circumcision may removed most of the foreskin but now enough of the pleasure giving foreskin maybe left after circumcision while allowing adequate hygene. What might need to be considered is possible damage due to scaring if the foreskin does not retract later in the uncircumcised, the child being embarassed to talk about the problem.