Is this normal 15 yearold behaviour? tmi

My sisters are going through a divorce , they have always had the verbally and physical marriage (from both parties). Both parents are not emotional stable parents nor have they been there for either kids.
Now they are going through a divorce, with 3 boys (19.15,14)

Just recently my 15 year old nephew has discovered sexuality - he watches porn online, he has threatened his younger brother that his going to sleep with his gf, and now at age 15 he paid $30 and went to brothel (didnt know they accepted 15 year olds and were so cheap).


Mum is panicking as the parents arent the best supportive parents, nor can my sister manage them on her own, now the 15 year old is acting differently sexually compared to what my other nephew or my brother apparently went through.

Can anyone tell me with experience with rebellious 15 year old boys - is this normal?

I have NEVER heard of a brothel having anything for $30 that is just weird. Secondly they ALWAYS check ID for these places, they are usually watched very closely due to what they are offering iykwim. So god knows how he pulled that one off. 15 year olds are usually pretty sexually aware and also because of stuff he's going through it's probably the way he releases his frustrations. But the brothel behaviour would worry me, if it is in fact true that he got in and got something for 30 bucks

Personally I think the bit about the brothel is a load of BS, just a teenage boy brig mouthing I think. There is no way they would go anywhere near a child of any age.

Teenage boys like sex, adult men like sex, it's a simple as that. I do think it's pretty normal for a boy his age to be curious and interested in sex. I know my own 16 year old is more than a little interested in sex too. Just last week I was checking the history on my pc and found some porn sites on there. I have now put on a net nanny thing, so hopefully that will slow it down.

I know this sounds bad but I am going to say it anyway. I think I'd rather my son watching porn than out there sleeping with God know's who and risk getting some girl pregnant or worse.

I agree with Trish - I think it's normal for boys to be interested in sex, look at porn, try to sleep with their girlfriend and try to go to a brothel. But that doesn't mean that your sister should do nothing about it

my selfish sister (shes just annoying me) finds it hillarious that he has gone to a brothel and paid $30 then came and told her about it.

I got peed coz, these kids are being emotionally used by both parents (if you stay with me i will buy/do this, ur mum/dad is bad , he/she will remarry then forget you etc), if it IS true he has confided in her about what he did that day (good or bad), then he catches her telling my mum bout it withing 15 mins. She is losing him and his trust.

I keep telling his brother and my sister to talk to him about it, explain and promise to take him to a brothel / club at age 16 or 18 if he can stop going there.

i told them porn is normal, hey my hubby use to look/watch them when he was married at 25...so its normal but im just alittle worried

Just IMO there is no way he scored at a brothel for 30 bucks... absolutely no way.. I know the prices of such establishments as im sure alot of people do so i think he's just full of bs...plus as i previously stated no way would he be let in without sufficiant id

I think it's quite normal them looking at porn.. not that I think they're old enough. Trish, I have also found this in my history on the computer and ONLY ever after Joshua has been on the computer. Net nanny type of thing didn't work for me because it bans normal pages too :(

As for the brothel thing... hmmmm doesn't sound quite right to me either. I don't think it was right for him to be laughed at when he said it though, sounds like he's crying out for attention - just my opinion though.

I definitely think its cry for an attention.

I also think my sister is lying abit. - theres alot of things shes saying that a kid or teenager never says to his mum. I don't know. My sister is a compulsive liar - this isnt the first insident. But the things being said its just too much and very disgusting.

Hubby has told me not to leave my girls at their place or near either of nephews - just in case.

She needs to see someone, but she thinks its not too bad plus she gets up tight when we say something.

now her kids are turning out to be like her - that sounds bad but its the truth.

The brothel thing doesnt sound right either - $30 i thought was cheap and the age factor.

Dont know if he could pay someone on the street (if that kind of thing still occurs )

It sounds like attention seeking behaviour (although from a book I read recently he may have got some "hand relief" for that money possibly)
Poor kid being mucked around by both parents, it sounds like its only going to get worse unfortunately.

LOL darl.. you could go to the filthiest, oldest, ugliest hooker even on the street and 30 bucks wouldnt get you anything.. they just wouldn't bother with it lol sounds like a whole bunch of hoohah

I guess the book I read was a few years old LOL

mrsmac - We know its going to get worse, hence the reason mum will suffer a stroke or worse...

I use to hear that divorce is bad , but its worse than i thought especially for the kids and close ones involved.

Im going to tell mum that the brothel thing has to be a whole heap of bull.

Well I've spoken to a handful of men, who all assure me its only normal behaviour if its enabled (so to speak). Yes of course all guys have a fascination with sex, thats normal. But to be openly disrespectful about sex (as it seems this is his line for attention seeking) is not so normal. The occasional looking at porn, sure, Marc had his own stash of dirty mags at that age but the other things well I wouldn't class it as "normal" and neither did they. I have to agree with KL in that the only thing they would get for $30 is a peep show if that! But I'm not sure what worries me more, his behaviour or the fact that his mother is bragging about this. I think your husband's advice is good. I really hope their parents see the damage they are doing before its too late.

I dont know if im allowed to post this but - mum was fixing his pants and told him to stand straight so she could measure the length - then he asked if she wanted to see how big he was (dwn there), is that why she wants to look at him....

Mum told him not to ever refer to himself next to any female family member, or anyone else - that its rude, disrespectful.
She just didnt know what to say or do at that point - she didnt want to yell at him coz thats what his parents ahve always done to them. Nor does she want to take it lightly.

My hubby is loved by the kids, when i tell him of this (except the measuring thing) he freaks and goes on about how bad my family is that how bad it is that we (his aunt, grandma, mother) knows these kind of details and that he discusses this with us.

I would love him to speak to the kids - he cant be the father figure BUT could be the man figure - but he just goes on and on about my family.

I am loathe to suggest this but is there a chance he has been sexually abused? Sometimes children who have been abused show overtly sexual behaviours. I know he is older and would know more things but I just keep thinking about it when you talk about his behaviours. Can he see a psychologist who specialises in teen problems?

Don't worry MrsMac the same thing had crossed my mind...

How would we know? I dont think his parents have abused him. But he started oddly after the break up when he started hanging around his dad. But wouldnt he be old enough to tell us something?

We have told my sister to send him to a psychologist - but she thinks his just being "selfish" that she is showing him all her love and affection that he needs and its just him tricking the family coz he wants more. I told her that maybe the "love and affection" shes given him isnt as enough as it would be to his brothers maybe, that each kids different and needs more/less.

After the break up he has

- been arrested but not charged for trying to steal a bike
-skipped school
-suspeneded from school
-he was caught by security trying to sell or assist in selling a stolen watch at westfields
-The sexual interest
-saying violent things like - to his brother he grabs the bread knife and says how would it feel if i did this or that . When we say anything he says im only joking
-He stole a kitchen knife (or his friend did) and they walk around slashing fences and walls in the street
-He steals money from his mother (we know his done this once but the other times mum and i are sussed that my sister is lying - )


I was abused by my neighbour when i was 8/9 - but i did tell my other sister about it (i didnt know what he was doing and asked her if this action was ok) - if he is or was abused wwouldnt he say something?

He comes to mums place, just so she can play with his hair while he falls asleep on the couch - he has never ever received any love or affection by his parents.

Sorry im just full - and its quite long.

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I am loathe to suggest this but is there a chance he has been sexually abused?

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You know, as soon as I read what he said to your mother I thought exactly the same thing immediately! I hope this isn't the case. I really think that he needs someone to speak to, someone he can trust and can be trusted. Poor boy, it's hard enough being a teenager as it is these days.

It sounds like sexual abuse to me too. There is a huge cultural and inherent taboo against sexuality towards family members after puberty and the fact that he thinks it's appropriate to offer his GRAN a looksee is a BIG warning sign to me. I'm sorry you're having to deal with all this hun, you sound so worried and fed up with it.

I have to tend to agree too. Either that or this boy clearly knows no boundaries regarding his body and sexuality.

There is no way in hell my older boys would do anything like that. They are so quick to cover up if the unthinkable happens like a towel falling.

It is hard, ive tried hiinting sexual abuse to my family, but no one is picking up any signs - I even said that i read an article which said that a kid with his behaviour usually means his been sexually abused. But mum says well that wont happen in our family (my ex BIL is my mums nephew pfft)

I know i cant confront the kid, im going to talk to hubby and say everything upfront. If he believes it too he knows how to explain things like this better than me.

Their family is a mess, his older brother is supposedly studying, just started smoking a pack aday, is obese (weighs 140kgs), isnt working, has diabetes, choloestrol and even back pain found only in women, and ontop when i ask why he doesnt do something with his life his answer is -

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i have always been the perfect son, i was the one who was used as a punching bag so mum wont get hurt, iwas the one hiding in cupboards, i was the one babysitting my 2/3 year old brothers while mum dad are bashing each other then having to pick up the pieces, now im the one dad is rejecting and doesnt want -I give up i dont have anything to do or live for, its now my time to be a boy.

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That just breaks my heart, but yet you know if he doesnt pick him self up its going to be too late.

Oh my, that is very, very sad. Does your nephew ? ever come to stay over, is he close to your DH ? Is there a chance you can spend extra time with him, build a safe relationship with him and perhaps give him to chance to talk out any of his issues ??

Maybe it's time to get in touch with some professional help, sounds like the whole family should be seeking some to me.

Yea im going to have to get hubby involved. It is a very sad and sticky situation.

My sister thinks they are all fine. :cry:

Hubby will be getting up soon, im just going to beg him to get involved. He hates getting involved in family situations.

hows everything going now hun, browsing through old posts...iv got a 16 years old brother he talks about sex and things in front of me..its mainly my dp hes talking to though and im only 20 so i think he can talk to me.
take care rachxxx

i agree , i dont know many teenage boys who would be comfortabole getting their pants adjusted jic they got too close to it, kwim ?? it seems what he said to your mum is way left field and rings alarm bells , your sister needs help and so does the boy , i know from exp who kids change when going through a divorce , its not just the parents , its the kids too.

my cousin was so sweet until divorce happened , she became very promiscuisous and angry and even hit her mum a few times , she now has no life because she looks after her 11mth baby (she is 19) and feels so guilty about what she did to her mum ...

all of that could have been avoided if communication and help were at hand during the divorce ..

can you nephew come stay with you for a while and i feel you need to tell some one and try to get your dh to help , its hard but hang in there