Worried again

I am worried about Lily's speech and understanding...again! I have always knows she was on the slower side. She did pick up a bit when she was going to child care but we had to pull her out since we got the mortgage and cant afford to take her anymore.

Anyway i am not sure what a 3yr, 3mth old is suppose to be saying but i know that she is behind, im just not sure how far behind.

She has finally stopped babbling but she will still only mostly say 2 word sentances. She can say 3, 4 and even 5 word sentances but it is rare. She will say most words if i say it first and she repeats it but if i ask her to say it again she won't.

She can count to 5 in order.

She can't answer me when i ask her WHY she has done something. I know she does not understand this question as she will think for a sec and usually say 'can't talk' which means she doesnt know what to say/doesn't know what i mean.

She can name most animals and their sounds. She knows all colours and shapes.

It is just her talking in sentances that i am worried about and her not unstanding questions.

She never says I, a, the, and etc when talking. If she wants me to do something or give her something etc she will either just show me it and grunt/whinge at me or she will just say what it is. IE, if she wants me to change her top, she'll give it to me or will say shirt or just whinge at me flagging it in my face. This doesn't seem like 3yo normal behaviour to me.

Should i be worried?

Antheia, when she was going to Child care, did any of the carers express concern about her speech? have you considered getting refered to a speech therapist? have you had her hearing tested? These are probably all questions you have answered before, so I apologise in advance if you have. just some options to explore if you haven't already.

I have a friend whose 3 year old didn't really start talking until he started kindy, and now is in prep and is very articulate. on an aside enstein apparently didnt start speaking until he was four :D

I am certainly no expert on this, but it doesn't sound to me like you have anything to worry about. I have met other 3 year olds who are the same. And Jack is very articulate for his age, but he can't answer the "why" question either just yet (he's about 2 months younger than Lily).

With the asking for things, I have found Tom to be slower at learning words and sentences than Jack was, but I have had real success with telling him the words when he grunts etc. So when he gives his "I want water" cry, I look at him and ask "would you like some water Tom?". Then I get it for him while saying over and over "water please mummy" etc. He is still not able to say the sentences so well, but he is definitely using more words and less grunts. It is definitely a patience and persistence thing, and with two kids it's really hard, but I think it could make a big difference for Lily.

GL, I am sure you'll get there. But as always, is you are worried, go and get some medical advice. You can't put a price on peace of mind!

If I were you I'd get a referral and get it checkout out by a speech therapist. If there is a delay in speech or language, early intervention is very important, otherwise they fall further behind. And if the speechie says there's no evident delay, at least you have peace of mind in that area.

Apparently the free speech therapist has a very long waiting list here so i havent even bothered.

The teachers at her childcare were concerned at first but they said she had come a long way. But i feel she is going backwards if anythere now that she has left.

I'm concerned for Charlie as well as he doesnt say a word except buba, mumma and dadda. Doesn't even babble. But that is probaby normal for a 17mth old? Please say yes, lol

I think I have spoken about Eliza to you Antheia, she was delayed doing what Charlie is doing at 2 and we went and spent a few hundred on a ST. I'm not sure whether it made all the difference or whether it was just her time to finally "get it".
But to tell you the difference that 6 months can make is amazing she was delayed and now counts to 20, knows all her colours and can hold a conversation on the phone:rolleyes:. Like MistyFlying I would recommend someone seeing her but it isnt intense and ongoing on a frequent scale at this point..Eliza wouldnt even speak at her appointment it is a professional giving you home work to work on, or even to get a diagnosis to go to the public system. We were told that here they dont see them till 4yr to diagnois a speech delay in the public system.
Alot of Eliza's friends have similar speech to Lilly, but once a GP told me his son didnt speak till 4 and he didnt bother with intervention.
Good Luck

what about seeing your MCHN? at Krystals 18 month check up, they asked all kinds of questions, and she had to do a number of things like turn pages of a book etc.
maybe she can give you an idea of where Lily should be at, and if she thinks you need to see a speech therapist.

Oh, i havent seen a MCHN since Lily was about 6 months old! I don't like them very much. Well the ones here anyway. Maybe i should see if there is any new ones around though. Thanks for the tip.

Definately have a chat to the CHN. They will have seen lots of 3yr olds and 6 mnths does make a big difference.

As a teacher my advice would be to read, read, read and talk. Play dumb to encourage her to explain more clearly. Repeat back to her what she said but using the correct words. Children learn by imitating us. Look at the pictures in books and talk about what they are.

You prob do all of this anyway but I hope it's of some help ;).

Just another thought here......

What is she like personality wise?? My DS is younger but also does not say much, he tends more so to communicate with his eyes and body language. He has always been a deep thinker, very sensitive and i feel in tune with things around him. In doing research i came accross some angel therapy and the generation of the Crystal Children. One characteristic is that they are delayed or late speakers and often have large mesmerising eyes (that was the first thing that clicked for me because i can't leave the house without strangers commenting on his eyes).

Anyway some info here if you are interested:

Crystal Children Article

I certainly would still pursue looking in to speech therapy etc, but i just thought i'd post this as it may be relevant and i found it quite interesting :)

MummaB, thanks so much for sharing that with me. I have never heard of it before but it certainly explains DD to a T. Especially her eyes. When she was younger everyone commented on them. And yeah i can still communicate with her without speech. How very fasinating.

antheia, as an early childhood teacher, I see quite a few children with speech and language problems. It sounds to me that Lily is probably in the 'normal' range, though she could use more encouragement to use her language appropriately. People should be able to understand her when she talks to them, she *should* be able to answer 'wh' questions (though this comes WITHIN thier third year), she should be able to follow two to three part directions (eg, get your shoes, put them on and then come to mummy). Here's some info I found for you:


Use pronouns I, you, me correctly
Is using some plurals and past tenses
Knows at least three prepositions, usually in, on, under
Knows chief parts of body and should be able to indicate these if not name
Handles three word sentences easily
Has in the neighborhood of 900-1000 words
About 90% of what child says should be intelligible
Verbs begin to predominate
Understands most simple questions dealing with his environment and activities
Relates his experiences so that they can be followed with reason
Able to reason out such questions as "what must you do when you are sleepy, hungry, cool, or thirsty?"
Should be able to give his sex, name, age
Should not be expected to answer all questions even though he understands what is expected
(Info from www dot childdevelopment dot com)

Another good site is called www dot comeunity dot com, under'speech and language, here's some info from there:

WHAT TO DO TO IMPROVE YOUR CHILD’S SPEECH AND LANGUAGE

1. Be honest when you do not understand what your child says. Don't pretend that you understand by saying "OK" or "Yes, that's right." Encourage, but don’t force, your child to try to tell you again. When you do understand what your child says letting her know will encourage good language use.

2. Model good speech. When your child makes errors repeat what she attempted to say correctly. Children learn correct speech by listening to you talk and read correctly.

3. Read to your child. Children acquire vocabulary and speech sound production gradually. Capitalizing on a child’s desire to repeatedly read the same book increases familiarity with language. The more she hears the words and sentences the more likely she is to retain and use the language.

4. Consult a professional if you have any concerns about your child’s speech or language. Your physician should be able to refer you to a speech therapist or speech pathologist if further evaluation is necessary. If there is a problem, early attention is important. If there is no problem, you will be relieved of worry. No child is too young to be helped and language is an important life tool, so if you are in doubt have your child’s language and speech evaluated.


Remember that these skills come in the third year, so she is only in the early stages of the year and still has lots of time to develop. But if you are concerned definately get a referral to a speech pathologist as someone else said, early intervention is very important and 3 is a great age to start if she needs it.

HTH :)

I really really urge you to get yourself on that list for the free speech therapist. I have quite a few friends who's children have speech issues, and not only does it impact learning (I have one friend who's son is currently seeing a speech therapist and her child is in grade 1) but it also impacts on the siblings and even if siblings do not have issues, they can imitate and it is extremely common.

Its not worth the wait iykwim? Lily deserves to learn at the same pace as everyone else don't wait till she's in school and its too late and is impacting, do something now before it does impact. If alls well then it alleviates your mind, but IMO this is not something to sit on. Don't mean to be horrible, but out of all my friends with kids who have or are seeing a speech therapist they always say they wish they'd done something about it sooner.

Tegan, I 100% Agree with Cailin get your name on the waiting lists.

I have had Kameron go through intensive speech therapy. Like you I knew he was slow and behind, but didn't realise how much till he started Kindergarten. He had very severe delays in both expressive and receptive language. i.e could not communicate with how he was feeling etc, and could not follow simple 2 or 3 instruction sentences. for example "can you get the bucket and put it next to the chair"

He had intensive speech therapy through his kindy which for us was free as it came from DECS. This lasted for 18mths, and to this day he still has follow up appointments with the DECS speech therapist at school.

Our kindy director advised us to get Lachlan on the waiting list for the public system, and like you I was like "yeah whatever" knowing there could be at least a 6mth wait or more to be seen. She kept stressing it every time I saw her and kept telling me it is very common for a younger sibling to follow in the older siblings footsteps cause they learn from them alot.

Lachlan has been seeing the public speech therapist now since 3rd term last year (aged 3.5 when started), and as from the next school term he will go under the DECS speech therapist through the Kindy. Lachlan at the same age talks and responds to instructions a hell of a lot better than Kameron ever did at the same age, but he still needs therapy in some areas. He has made huge improvements since therapy and I am pretty certain it has been the therapy that has helped, not just cause he has developed that much more iykwim

I saw our kindy director the other week (she is currently on maternity leave) and she said to me "how about Ashton (17mths like Charlie), have you got him on the waiting list" I said but he is only 17mths, surely they don't take them now I spoke to Lachlan's speech therapist last monday, and they definitely do take them at such a young age. The younger the better. Also the younger they are the quicker they will get through the waiting list because they get to teach them the right way from word go.

The therapist said to me what is Ashton saying. I said "ah, mum (rarely), dad, bub (rarely) and nan (rarely). She said "yep when you leave today put his name down for the list"

So I would strongly recommend getting both Lily and Charlies name down on the list. When Lily starts Kindergarten then I would be mentioning it to them as well, and they may have a system in place with speech therapists as well that you can utilise.

I hope this helps somewhat. I know how you must be feeling about it, I went through those same emotions.

Love

I agree, with putting your name on the waiting list. I am worried about my DS stuttering, and even though they said it is 3 yr wait, I still put him on. He is very articulate but stutters so I took him to a private ST who said it wasn't too bad but took notes at what level he was at so we could compare in 6 months. I haven't taken him back (approx $150 and I got back $29 from our health fund), but I will take him to the free one when his name comes up.

One thing the ST said, which someone else said on here too, was for us to say the correct sentence or words etc because they learn through imitation and what they hear. That is working quite well for us, luckily.

Wishing you all the best. :hug:

I wholeheartedly agree with getting her into a speech therapist, its not just about her oral language its about getting her expressive and receptive language skills checked too. Expressive language is being able to express what information is in her mind and receptive is being able to process the language that other people use to her ( a very simplistic explanation) The sooner you get her checked the better as early intervention is so much more helpful.
You may get her checked and all is fine but if it were my child I would rather be safe than sorry.

Tegan,

I just wanted you to know that during the week I got a phone call from the speech therapist for Ashton. They are seeing him on Monday for his initial review. So from putting him on our waiting list to getting his initial appointment it was only about 3 weeks.

Lachlan had to wait a bit longer than that cause he was older

Love

Well that's not too long. Goodluck with it.

I haven't put Lily on the list yet as i keep getting conflicting advice from family. Half say take her the other half say she talks fine. I have no idea anymore.

You have to do what you think is right. You can't listen to what family says. Does she go anywhere where you can compare her to a range of other kids around her age??

We never knew Kameron had an issue till he started playgroup and kids 18mths younger were talking better than what he was.

Love

Antheia, you won't really know unless you get her assessed. I was in the same position with my DD1, i had a feeling that she wasn't quite up to speed, and when I got her assessed it turned out it was a "mild delay". It needed some work to get her up to speed. Even so she still has a few problems from time to time.

I would absolutely put her on the waiting list and if it's longer than a month or two to wait, WRITE A LETTER to your state MP and the minister for health in your state. (I did this and it resulted in more funding for another speechie, cutting the waiting list from 14 mths to about 2 months). I can't impress upon you how important it is if you are worried to get it checked. Often the solutions involve strategies like reminding your child to "use her words" and also getting her to watch your mouth when you are modelling a word she finds hard. But you need to learn in what way she needs your help.

The really interesting end to our own story is we only just discovered last year (DD was 9!!!) that she has a mild Auditory Processing Disorder...that means the sounds get jumbled between her ears and her brain so the meaning is distorted (her hearing is fine). Suddenly everything falls into place...it explains a lot of avoidance behaviour with her school work. So now she has a set of classroom strategies and the teacher teaches using visual cues as well as just talking at the kids and she's going great guns. If your DD is having trouble understanding what is being said, you need to get this checked out...a normal hearing test is needed but also asked for the Auditory processing tests as well.

Good luck, it's not something to be afraid of, you will feel so much better (relieved I mean) when you have seen a speechie and discussed your concerns.

No i don't have anyone to compare either of them to. They don't go to child care anymore which is a pity.

Also, what do they do in the consultations? Because if they want her to talk to them well she won't as she never talks to strangers (good thing i supose!) she jsut shys away. So they might think she cant talk at all.

Just go for it. You've got nothing to lose, and you'll only beat yourself up later if you find she does need some extra help and it starts to impact on her at school as a result of not doing something sooner.

I agree with the others to put her on the waiting list. At least then you have the option of going when an appointment comes up.

Also I have just had my 2 yr check up with the MHCN and the next scheduled one is for 3y 6m so I would also ring the MHCN and book her in for the 3y 6m check which is standard.

You need to do what you think is right and what you feel comfortable with. Your family can offer advice but ultimately you need to do what you feel is right for your daughter. If you truly feel she may have problems then for your own peace of mind get her assessed.

Antheia, the speechies are pretty familiar with all sorts of kids from the very talkative right through to the silent but deep! LOL Pretty much they just sit down with them a play a few games and win their trust...DD used to love going along!

Yep speechies just sit there and play games with them and talk to them the whole time. They will take notes etc during the sessions as well so they can put it into a report. It isn't just about speech, but about how well they can understand things as well

Lachlan is upset cause he wont be going to his speech therapist anymore, as he is now under the Department of Edu's care.

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No i don't have anyone to compare either of them to. They don't go to child care anymore which is a pity.

Also, what do they do in the consultations? Because if they want her to talk to them well she won't as she never talks to strangers (good thing i supose!) she jsut shys away. So they might think she cant talk at all.

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I am a speechie. It doesn't matter if she doesn't speak in the session. The speech path will ask you lots of questions about her communication to get a good idea of how she's going. They can also do non-verbal tests (which most children, even shy ones, usually co-operate with) to assess their ability to understand language, which is an area you expressed concern about. The longer you wait to get her seen the worse the delay could become, given you mentioned that you think she is going backwards. It won't hurt to have her seen, even if she has absolutely no delay so I can't understand your families arguement there TBH. Your description of her speech sounds typical of a child younger than 3 years.

As far as Charlie is concerned, does he repeat sounds/words that he hears you say, other than the ones you mentioned? He should have about 5+ words at his age. An interest in communication, even if he is unable to use many words, is what your looking for at his age.

Has their hearing been checked?

Charlie doesn't repeat words at all except mumma and dadda. He has started saying what i think is thankyou, kinda sounds like dan-do. Other than that it is just babble.

I really urge you to get them both checked. Early intervention has the best outcomes for children (so the sooner they are seen the more likely they will come along in leaps and bounds). You might only have to try a few small activites at home that will make a world of difference to their development.

Antheia, stop dilly-dallying and just get them BOTH checked out NOW, or at least get their name on the list or otherwise we will see another thread in six mths time about how they still haven't progressed and you are still worried about them. By not doing anything about this you do run the risk of it getting to the stage where any early intervention is going to be more intensive than it would be if you catch the problems now.

Paige is only 6mths older than Lily and we have just had her referral sent off via the preschool she goes to. It was a problem we were aware the whole time, but we allowed for her either just being a bit slower than the older kids, and it just being age-appropriate issues. Her teacher has been watching her over the course of this term to see if there is any improvement (and between enrollement in october last year to now, there has been a huge improvement, but still not enough kwim?) and yesterday after speaking with her teacher we decided to get the wheels in motion NOW, instead of waiting another 6mths to see if there was any improvement before acting on it because if we did that, that's another 6mths of waiting when we could have been doing something about it.

And honestly Antheia, even if money is tight, you can still always save up to go and see a private one while you are waiting to see the public one and then claim it back from medicare - that way you can have the ball rolling.

Either way Antheia, I think you are doing them a huge disservice by waiting around. You've had an early childhood teacher and a speech pathologist come in here and give you their thoughts and if that isn't enough to spur you into action then nothing will.