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As a follow-on from our story on co-sleeping (found in the baby section) BellyBelly is interested in seeing what our members think about this topic. Do/did you co-sleep with your baby? When did you stop (if you have?). Do you think co-sleeping is a beautiful bonding experience or a problem?
What feedback or comments do you get from professionals and / or friends etc?
Share your thoughts and experiences here.
No I never co-slept with Kameron. He slept in his own room right from the start. We used a baby monitor so we could hear his every move I found no hassles in doing it this way and will do it again.
Love
I've co slept since Liam was 6 months old and at two we still are. I love it, would recommend it 100% and it makes breastfeeding and nighttime parenting so easy.
We have co slept from pretty much day dot. When Jonah was about 4 or 5 months I had a bright idea to but a single bed between our bed and the wall so that there is loads of room, our beds are low too deliberately. We have always slept and breastfed very well, dh was rarely disturbed.
Most people I tell are surprised I guess, but I know about 4 other couples personally who do the same thing. I believe it's perfectly safe if you use common sense.
I think with us anyway, we felt safe doing it - you get lots of instinctive feelings as a parent! We moved our pillows down a little so our heads were level with Marisa - so if she would roll into us it would be our heads. As the cameras on A Current Affair picked up, she moved upwards in the bed. I have never found her down the bed. We also have a fairly firm mattress.
For safe tips on co-sleeping written by Pinky McKay, check out our story on co-sleeping or visit her website at www.pinky-mychild.com
Yes we started co-sleeping with Georgia when she was about 8 months old. She sleeps in her cot until about 2am, then comes in with us. Just recently she has started sleeping through all night in her cot which is also nice.
Co-sleeping has been really good for us!!
All of my children have slept in a cot in our room until about 12 months (Heather will find her way into her own room shortly). However during the early months, they have often "found" their own way into our bed during the night. I think it has been a lovely experience and sometimes I still bring the baby into our bed just because I want to.
Heather too has had this most appalling chronic cough from May to November and it has been reassuring for us to know that she is still breathing when she is right beside us.
We co-sleep with Jessica, but not with Hannah.
Jessica is a very cuddle baby, who likes to sleep in our arms, whereas Hannah is happier in her cradle where she sleeps 10hours/night.
this post is old but ive only just seen it..
co-sleeping was what bonded me with joshua i think, as i could lay there and stare into his cute lil sleeping face, had no choice but to co sleep with him when he was first born as he wouldnt sleep in his crib, he was just too scared for some reason..
i absolutly loved it and will do it again..
josh apparently now still co sleeps with his dad everynow and again
take care
Lesley
I haven't co-slept with Lachlan but he has been sleeping in our room right next to the bed in his basinette. The only reason is was that he was feeding every 2hrs or so and I couldn't be bothered walking all the way to his bedroom every time.
He will be going back to his room when he has settled into a longer feeding pattern. We are getting there slowly.
Love :smt049
For the first 3-4 weeks we either had Christian in our bed or in the bassinette next to our bed depending on how settled he was. I found when he went through a bad stage of colic it was much easier to keep him comfortable in with us. Now he is a little bit older he is much happier sleeping in his cot in his own room.
We've co-slept from night one... after the caesarian I couldn't pick Matilda up for a few days and the midwives would roll me over and then pop Matilda on the other breast every few hours so we just got used to sleeping together... now at home and in the winter its lovely to not have to get out of bed except for the one nappy change in the middle of the night and DH does that one... =D>
We are looking at starting to move her out after she's 6 weeks old into the cot next to our bed for a while... we'll see how that goes. DH is keen to get her out of our bed and I enjoy having her close by... but I do miss my space as I am a huge kicker and I like to overtake the bed in my sleep I can't do that now and wake up cramped from staying so still in my sleep... at least I wake up before rolling over etc....
Christy
We never co-slept with Kimberley when she was born the only time she gets in our bed now is when she wakes early morning or trying to get her to sleep but it has only happened a few times.
There are a few reasons why we've never co-slept with Aidyn.
1. Since week 2 I have needed to have him sleep in his own room because I am such a light sleeper and on edge all the time, that I wake up at the tiniest little noise he will make , which would have prevented me from getting any sleep at all in those first weeks.
2. I do not trust myself or DP not to roll on him, as we only have a double bed.
3. DP is a smoker, and it is not recommended due to SIDS risks.
We co-slept with Hudson for the first 4 weeks because he was so unsettled and just would not sleep in his bassinet. It was great having him so close by to feed in the middle of the night, but DH and I were both keen to get him into his own bed as we slept very lightly and woke up constantly in a panic wondering if we had squashed him LOL! Once we put him onto formula at 4 weeks and he finally had a full belly he has slept in his bassinet with no problems at all.
I never co slept with Olivia as I was afraid of rolling on her. I had her in a bassinet next to our bed until she was 3 months old and then put her in her own room in a cot. She now climbs into bed with us in the morning for cuddles and reading books together before we get up for breakfast.
She recently was sick and I let her fall asleep in our bed, I was not well so we slept on the bed together, I woke up before she did and I have to admit I really enjoyed watching her sleep! :)
Susan
I co slept with Clover until she was about 2.5yrs old & then around that time we moved from a 1 bedroom apartment to a 2 bedroom unit. I set her up in her own room but she came in and slept with me in the middle of the night less and less frequently for the next year. With the next 2 they co slept with me for a month then we set a cot up in our room - Levi doesn't feel comfortable with a baby in the bed (he sleeps in the spare room for the first month) so this was our compromise. All my kids are good sleepers and I really enjoy co sleeping - I found breast feeding really easy & my babies always settled themselves really easily and I think co sleeping had a part in that.
We've never co-slept with Jacob. Not because I'm against the idea at all, more because it just never really crossed my mind, and because he seemed happy and contented where he was, which was in his bassinette at the end of our bed. Every now and then he comes into our bed for a cuddle though!!!
LOL, well havent things changed for us now!! Aidyn is regularly co-sleeping with us. Maybe every second night or so he wakes up and cries for whatever reason, and I am just too tired to settle him in his cot so I bring him to bed with us and it calms him down straight away. Although it is terribly uncomfortable as me and DP do not have enough space to move around. Aidyn also sleeps on our bed during the day and a lot of the time I nap next to him. I think it is wonderful for bonding :)
Ambah great to see that you are enjoying co-sleeping even if it came about through exhaustion!
Well our co-sleeping story!
DP wanted to co-sleep before Felix was born, he felt it natural! I was very daunted by the prospect of having a tiny baby sleep with me, what if I rolled on it? So I bought a bassinette, a cot and a portacot. When first pregnant I was planning on the baby being in the other room from day 1. Then closer to his arrival I thought the bassinette and then his room when out of that.
When he arrived our first co-sleeping expereince happening in hospital of all places, the nurses set us up in bed to go to sleep as I was exhausted from feeding. It was the most magical beautiful thing to look down and see my little one feeding and to wake up with him next to me.
When we got home I continued to have some co-sleeping some basinette time.I was so shocked that I seemed to have intutive feelings about his body and was able to sleep in most difficult positions that previously I would have never been able to do, the power of those mothering hormones!! I have since read Pinky's books and others and read that co-sleeping can increase your "mothering hormones" also baby mimics the mother sleep pattern making wake-ups natural for you both.
The sensation of falling asleep with your little one feeding and waking up with their tiny face so close. I must say in the early days I was worried about the donna and used to put him high up in the bed so the doona wouldn't go over him!
After he grew out of the bassinette we put the cot on as a side car, but now he just sleeps with us, and it's wonderful. I have considered putting him in the cot, and we've had to deal with the rolling issues and safety but thanks to many pillows and bed rails we're safe!
My favourite co-sleeping story is when he was a newborn and I woke up in the night finding he has wiggled himself over to my breast and was trying to attach himself to the outside of my maternity bra!!
I :hbeat: co-sleeping, it's the best way to sleep! I will do it again with next baby even if we end up with 4 in the bed!
Matilda moved into her cot at 8-10 weeks of age and then whenever we brought her back in she refused to sleep :smt022 she was too excited by us, so she doesn't sleep with us anymore...so sad
Wow Katanya, what hospital did you go to?! Most are very finicky about sleeping with bubs. What a wonderful thing!
the midwives had Matilda in bed with me from birth... they encouraged me to have her sleeping with me from the beginning. I have to admit I got better sleep with her in bed with me than when she was out of bed, I would stare at her constantly O:)
I had our first-born sleeping in our bed until he was about 8 months old; then I spent a week in a mother-baby unit and from then he slept in his cot. I found it easier to breastfeed him in the night with him next to me, and also liked to keep an eye on him when he was very young.
On the other hand, I have actually seen research which found a correlation between post-natal depression and having your baby sleep in your bed. Perhaps this implies that the pattern may be related to a mother's emotional needs.
Just the plain old Gold Coast Hospital, some of the midwives were not so keen but I had great ones at night in the first few days. They put a million pillows around us and a bed rail, and used to check in on us just to be sure.I know a lot of hospitals are paranoid about the liability, but obviously mine wasn't!:
Wow Katanya, what hospital did you go to?!
wow really? I find it hard to believe? I wouldn't co-sleep if it didn't suit us too, and I know that it doesn't suit some people and I think every mother has to do what's right for her. But the bond I feel with co-sleeping is SO strong. I wonder if the problem occurs because we are trained with images of "good" babies sleeping peacefully in their cots in their rooms, and when some mothers "give in" to a baby who is happier in their bed then they feel like they have "failed" because they feel like they are being not a "good" parent!:
On the other hand, I have actually seen research which found a correlation between post-natal depression and having your baby sleep in your bed. Perhaps this implies that the pattern may be related to a mother's emotional needs.
By reading the posts here it shows the fact some babies like co-sleeping, and some do not prefering their own space (like Matilda!)
Maybe with increased co-sleeping in our communities (it's done HEAPS overseas in other cultures as a "normal thing") women can feel comfortable with having a baby in the bed without people saying "your creating a rod for your backs" like we get sometimes, usually from my family. My DP's boss, slept with all her 4 children for about a year and said after a certain age they want their own space, obviously when that is is up to the child.
The other issue people raise is the ability to be initimate with your partner, we I can say we don't have any issues in that area, and who says you have to do it in a bed anyhow!
Anyhow enough of a rant, I'm just a huge believer in intutive parenting and families making choices that suit them, not just following what they are told makes a good parent!
No I agree katanya, instinctive parenting is definately a plus. I was so amazed when the midwives put Matilda in bed with me after DH got to cuddle while they cleaned me up post caesar and she didn't leave until the morning! She never slept outside our bed for weeks or without me. I loved it for the most part, sometimes I would get anxious with her so close all the time, but I loved it. Then when she refused to do it anymore I was heartbroken...LOL...even now we still try every other day or so to bring her into our bed, but for now we have morning cuddles where when she wakes up one of us goes to get her & brings her into our bed for a big family cuddle...ahhhh....(too bad she spends most of the time crawling over daddy's head but thats okay too...LMAO!)
wow, i felt bad because I have had Jaykob in bed with me *nearly* every night, lol but now I know i'm not the only one who thinks its much easier.. I feel much better
Jaykob was born at the Royal Darwin Hospital and they also put him in bed with me for feeds/ sleeps after my c sec. But even once i could get up and around they encouraged me to have him in my bed still because it is a great bonding experience.
I was weary about me rolling or moving in the bed but I seem to always wake up in the exact same spot i fell asleep in. you subconciously know they are there when you sleep
I havent had probs with putting him in his own cot, if I do, he will fall asleep it just means I have to get up when his hungry.. So either way.... But i love having him in bed with us :)
Colleen I am glad reading this has made you feel less guilt about taking him to bed with you, there is a great book called "nighttime parenting" by Dr Sears, he is a paed very pro co-sleeping, you might be abel to find it at your library or ABA if you are a member? It talks about all the advantages, I like you started it because it felt good and it was SO much easier BFing!
Just to let you know I now put Felix in his cot when he has day naps and for the first sleep of the night then he's in with us, he's happy in his cot (still in our room) and also happy with us, it is for safety because he is now crawling.
I found co-sleeping easier at first, and I wonder if the same will happen with my next one? My only concern is that it becomes a bit of a habit and can be a little difficult to transition to the cot later. But I'm still in favour of co-sleeping for at least about 3 months; I think its not only convenient re feeding and monitoring the baby, but its also great for their early developing attachment and feeling of security.
we are not going to be co sleeping. me and DH are both light sleepers, and we would be awake at any sound bub's made, plus i see night time as our time to spend alone together.
we co-slept with our children, our bed was bigger than a king size so there was plenty of room. they both stopped sleeping with us when they were about 3 years. maybe coming in on and off until 5 but they have definately grown out of it now. we didn't even have a cot much to MIL's disgust!!!!!! we found that we slept heaps better as did the baby/toddler. we all woke up refreshed and ready to start a new day. i believe that it was one of the best decisions we have ever made to just have the baby in our bed all the time and not to fight over having them feed put back in their cot, cry, stress, try to settle again.... arghhhhhh and have them end up in your bed anyway!!!!!!
i tell you what though we got alot of negative comments about our decision - which of course were ignored but it was a shame that people have such strong anti co-sleeping ideas, just cos they don't want to do it doesn't mean it's 'wrong' to do it!
regardless of the negative stuff out there, we will be co-sleeping again with this baby. we feel it is the best way for our family and allows us to get more sleep and rest plus lots of other benefits.
good luck everyone whatever your choice is.
love beckles