Getting rid of the dummy

DD is 3.5 years old and still has a dummy. We need to get rid of it though as i am pretty sure that is what is causing her to have a lisp. Because she talks with the dummy in her mouth all the time.

The thing is, it's her comfort and security. I've tried taking the dummy off her and saying she doesn't really need it, she's a big girl now. But she will cry until she get's it back. :( So i tried a different tactic by saying she is a big girl and doesn't need it and did she want to throw it in the bin. So i gave her the option, instead of taking her choice away. She actually did throw it away but half an hour later she was crying for it again. We've tried this numerous times, asking her if she wants to throw it away only for her to want it back again after she has. I've even tried saying that it's only for bed time (since she doesnt talk when asleep) but it doesn't work. She's just really attached to it.

I'm not sure what else to do? I don't want to take away her security but it needs to go!

i had a friend that went to a place that had possums that you feed at night time and told her daughter that maybe the baby possums need her dummy now! cos she is a big girl!
she quite happily gave it to them. and from then on whenever she asked for it they just reminded her that the baby possums have it!

probably not helpful but i thought i would share it cos i thought it worked really well

Oh, ELLIBUGS ... That's a super idea :dance:

I'm gonna remember that one for my dummy loving two year old :rolleyes:

Yeh, I reckon it's a better idea to take it where they can't get to it again.

I have seen on a TV show where they buried the dummy in the backyard BUT the child a day later just went back & dug it up :doh:

... My friends daughter just gave up her "Dummy" this year at the age of 7 :wall: ... Um, lets just say she is going to need some major work on her teeth & gums ... So, sad :( ... That's my greatest fear right now :pray:

My SIL said to my niece, everytime she asked for it, "ew, yucky" with a grimace and then gave her it. One day Niece announced "ew yucky" and threw it in the bin. She never asked for it back but SIL had fished it out and sterilised it JIC and was planning to go on with "ew yucky" until it sank in.

You could also restrict when she has it? If she talks to you with it in say "I can't understand you with your dummy in" and do not respond to her request until she takes the dummy out to ask? My parents did this to me over my thumb, which i used to have in all the time while talking, and after a few reminders i learned people understood me better without it. Make the dummy a bedtime thing and make sure it stays in the bed, so no dummy in the daytime?

It's a toughie though. Luckily my DD sucks her thumb, which never caused me any dental issues, so i have hopefully escaped the dental stress/bills!

Bx

I had the same problem with my 2 year old. We went away camping and i forgot his dummy! He freaked out and the camping trip wasnt much fun but it got him off the dummy.He cryed for his dummy the whole time but because i didnt have one there with me i couldnt give in to his tantrums

We took DS down to the beach when he was 2 and told him that the sand fairies wanted it now. He buried it in the sand and the fairies had some smarties waiting for him at home!

He never even asked for it again. DD2 has a dummy now which i'm wanting to get rid of but not till we get back from England :)

Tegan, when you find the answer let me know. Tehya still has hers too and I hate it with a passion. Never agani will I look down my nose at someone elses kid that looks too big to have a dummy. Well, unless their 7 ;)

I am alot firmer with Tehya than her dad is. I refuse her to take it out of the car if we go somewhere. She know's she has to leave it in there. Whereas he doesn't bother argueing with her. Lately I have even been managing to get out of the house without it. She's funny though because quite often when I think we've left it at home she has hidden it in the nappy bag :wall:

I have tried telling her that she's a big girl now, that only babies have dummy's, you name it.

Abbey has just started having a dummy now too, so there lies another issue. If I get Tehya to get rid of her's, I have to keep her away from Abbeys.

Goodluck hun, I really do feel your pain :hug:

I had heard that if you cut the end of the dummy slightly that is becomes less enjoyable for them to suck and eventually bit by bit will choose not to have it?

She never takes it when we go out, i make her leave it in the car and she soon forgets. It's mainly just at home.

I am so so glad Charlie hated the dummy, he doesn't even use his thumb which is a blessing.

I've hidden it right now because i found it laying on the floor and she didnt see me. She hasn't asked but she probably will. Maybe i will just say i don't know, where did you leave it? lol

Once when she was around 2yo, she did give it up for about a month. But we then went to QLD and drove and she was quite distressed so we gave it to her just for then, but ever since then she has been more attached to it than ever! :rolleyes: I should never have given it back to her.

There is stuff in the chemist to stop kids sucking their thumb, I think its called 'thumb off'. You put it on kids thumbs it make them taste yucky, it can also be used on dummies.

LOL, i wore thumb off for YEARS. You can suck it off very quickly. I used to "save" spit in my mouth, suck the horrid stuff off, then spit it out. Then suck my thumb...lol

Bx

lol Bx! I've heard it is sour? DD loves sour food so i don't think it'd work!

Mine was bitter more than sour. Don't get me wrong, it is revolting, but it distresses you too, and how do you comfort yourself...sucking! Maybe it works for some kids, but it never worked for me.

Bx

Well since i hid it, she has not asked for it. Bl00dy amazing lol.

Antheia, my dd#1 didnt give up her dummy till she was 29 months....i look at photos of her then, compared to now, and i reckon her whole jaw has changed in shape since she has given up the dummy ....(for the better...).

Anyway, i was going to tell you how we weaned her......we bought a 'pretty' box. LIke a gift box you get at newsagencies...... She had numerous dummies, so we popped them all in there. Every night (and like your DD, only had it at night in bed) she would pick just one to suck. Giving her the option seemed to help her think she was in control....;). Gradually, over the space of 2-3 weeks she stopped asking for the box, and the option to choose a dummy. I think she just simply forgot....outta sight outta mind kinda thing. Easter eventually rocked around and the easter bunny took the box away.

I think giving her a bit of control over the dummy made it easier for her to give up IYKWIM ???.

Good luck anyway....

I can offer the tip my mum used to get my brother and sister off the dummy but it's a tougher approach...

My sister one day spat out her dummy saying "yucky". It had gotten blanket fluff on it so of course it was horrible to suck. That got Mum thinking so she got my sister's dummies and wet them and rubbed them up and down on cotton wool. Then when my sister wanted the dummy she did the "ew yucky" approach mentioned above and then my sister found that the dummy was indeed "ew yucky". Mum says she didn't have her nap that day but crashed at 5.30pm for the night and that was that.

Then when my brother came along, when she decided it was time the dummy went she did the cotton wool approach again and said it worked like a charm.

I reckon this is a last resort approach though - my mum's a tough customer! I'm nowhere near as tough.

In case you are wondering I was a finger-sucker (and yes I needed extensive orthodontic work). Interestingly, my brother's and sister's teeth were never as bad as mine.

DD was 2 and a bit when we decided to get rid of it. Lucky it was close to easter time so the night before we laid out all her dummies and told her the easter bunny would take them and replace them with easter eggs. She laid them out duitfully and the next morning was so excited to see the little eggs there waiting for her.:lol: She only asked for her dummy once after that and that was when a week later she hurt herself at playgroup and was quite distressed. Worked a treat. :)

I have heard of others using the same tactic at birthdays or xmas or even taking them outside on your rubbish day and giving them to the rubbish truck/man to take away.

Good luck.

DD was 2 and a half when she fell in love with scooters. I psyched her up for 6 months - "If you get up on your birthday, and chuck your dummy in the bin, you will get your scooter"

Worked a treat (oh, and the garbage man just "happened" to come before she had a chance to retrieve it!)

sometimes it takes being cruel to be kind

my daughter lost the blot one day about something when she was 2 and I remember her throwing her dummy, I picked it up and threw it out.

One night of screaming but it was worth it, gone for good, she is 7 now and not scared for life

onlyone, as a new member you may not realise that this is the Gentle Parenting forum. Members post here if they want gentle alternatives for parenting issues :)

Antheia, we did the 'Santa took it to give to a baby who didn't have one' trick for Erin and it worked - she didnt worry about it after that. It helped that Paige never had one so she couldn't take one from her. Maybe you could *lose* it for a night and pretend to look all over the house for it and when you can't find it, settle her to bed and promise you will look again tomorrow? hoping that she will forget about it when it can't be found?

ok thanks, I will be more careful next time

Just thought i would update.

We have now been dummy free for over a week!!

I have hidden it in the food cupboard right up the top where she cant reach or see. I pretended to find it and but couldnt and she accepted it and wentto bed. Same thing went on for 3 nights and since then she's only asked for it twice and only at night. I said, remember we cant find it and she had a whinge for 1 second and then said night!

Her speech is getting better already in that i can understand her. Her lisp is still there though.

Thanks everyone for all the advice. It looks like it's worked!