Hello from Leanne n Selena

Hello to everyone!

We thought we would come on and say hello! We are Leanne 29 and Selena 37 and planning to ttc at the end of the year. At the moment we are trying to gather as much info as we can and get Leanne's cycle down pat. We have chosen to use a known donor as this sounds like the best option for us. We are both nurses and Leanne is a student midwife also due to finish in december this year so we have some knowledge but its great to find this website for contacts and info. Most of the other sites are overseas and hetro only so its hard to relate to them. We live in Townsville, Nth Queensland, is anybody from around this area? We thought we might ttc via home insemination first of all and try our luck before doing IVF. Has anybody else had issues with the ovulation test strips? We have found that the second line never fully gets as dark or darker than the control line. Is this normal? We have only tested one cycle so far so we will get used to the process as the months pass and get closer to doing the real thing. We just wanted to introduce ourselves and wish you all luck and happiness with the conception and pregnancy process. Looking forward to chatting to you all soon.

Leanne and Selena :inlove:

Hi Lea and welcome to BB! How exciting for you to be TTC at the end of the year - it will be here in no time. I was going to suggest that you check out the OPKs, HPT's and other home tests forums to answer your questions, but I see you've already found it :)

Hello there!!! I hope you find these forums as great as I have...

We have a wonderful same sex couple on here, who are about 29 weeks pregnant, and she can probably help with lots of info!!:D

I'm sure she'll be along at some stage...

Again, Welcome!!:)

Hi and welcome to the site you will find heaps of great advice and support here :D.

I used the home ovulation kit when ttc and had a similar problem in that the line was never as dark. I just assumed that if there was a visible second line then I was ovulating. I also used a Maybe Baby, a small microscope that works on saliva. When you ovulate your saliva takes on a fern like pattern and this can help determine when this happens (can be a bit pricey though). Good luck to both of you and lots of :bluedust: your way.

Are you using the opk at the same time everyday? And making sure it is NOT first moring urine? I found testing around midday the best. And it may well be that you are miscalculating when you are about to ovulate. You may need to test over ten days to figure what your ovulation day is.

Hello Leanne and Selena,

Firstly, welcome! :D Yep, I found BB the best place too (should I warn you its addicitive...? Well, it is, but thats half the fun!).

I think you've found help on the OPKs. They're a bit tricky to use. I don't think I ever got a full dark line, its just the way some people are, hormones and all them weird and wonderful things!

We used an unknown donor so haven't had to do all the contracts etc. but defiantely make sure that they are done and all the legal issues like custody, access, birth certificate, and the donors role (donor, dad, 'uncle' or 'family friend'...) is clear on both sides. Too many times have people used a known donor only to find once they are pregnant that the donor and the mums have completely different ideas on how the sitautions and relationships are going to work.
(Obviously if you've already done that then ignore me!)
Have you read the book 'Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians',by Rachel Pepper. It's got lots of that info in it :)

Good luck with your insems! We used an unnknown donor from an Australian clinic so we did IUI, so I can't really help with the specifics of that (though there is a lesbian parents australia yahoo group which is very active... theres a story about it in the may issue of LOTL... if you need advice on the ins and outs of doing it at home :)).

Ooooooo, Jodie, are you talking about US!? Hehehe! :lol:

Hi girls!

Its great to meet all of you, everybody is so receptive and thats so nice to see. Leasha I know what you mean about this site being addictive, I need to have a squiz every time I go online lol. I am currently trying to do my assignment and get distracted with more interesting and fun things like this hehe.

That book for lesbian conception you quoted, where can you purchase it, is it australian? I was going to get another one but it pertained to america so much that it was hard to relate to. As you all know, we are just at the beginning stages of getting my cycle worked out but its fantastic to see that there is such a great support network out there.

I know this is a bit off the subject but as a lesbian couple have any of you had negative dealings with family, health care providers etc? As a student midwife working in the maternity ward and birthing suite at the moment I have seen the midwives have a giggle and snicker when any same sex couples come in to have their baby but i guess you will get that everywhere. We were contemplating on going private but the only private hospital in townsville is the mater hospital which is very heavily catholic and not very open to same sex couples as I have heard from people who work there. We are only making suggestions at the moment because it will be further down the track for us to make those decisions but it is still something that bothers me. All will come together I am sure. Maybe it would be better if I didnt know how staff acted behind the scenes lol. I wish you all lots of fun and laughter over the weekend and looking forward to chatting more...

Leanne

Sometimes life is made unnecessarily harder isn't it? Have you considered a homebirth? I really hope that the other staff you work with don't let their personal thoughts interfere with their professionalism because that's the last thing a birthing woman needs to deal with.

Hi Leanne, we bought our book from Hares and Hyenas online store (google hares and hyenas, and then on their website go to "parenting" on the right menu for all the books or search Rachel Pepper :)). It is an American book, I don't know that theres an Australian book out though I'm sure google could help find an answer to that! There's a lot on US legislation which isn't relevant, as well as US sperm banks, but we've found everything else in it really helpful. There's ALOT about fertility and tracking/charting fertility which I really enjoyed (we used a clinic so they did most of it but at least I knew what they were doing and why).

Lol, well I'm not going to go in to the negative reactions we've gotten from family. I'll just say yes, we've had to deal with some very negative very homophobic reactions from my side of the family. It's devastating and painful but at least I know now IYKWIM? I'd rather know where I stand than live in fantasy world thinking all is fine and dandy. I am hoping what everyone says is true, and that they will come around once Bubble is born. I doubt it, I know them and they'd rather jump off a cliff than admit they could have been wrong, but I still hope.

At first we thought we were going to have some battles with health professionals, but actually we've never encountered any negative comments from anyone. There are sometimes a few people who you think might be thinking a certain way, but then they are the kind of people who would judge a young mum, or single mum, or anyone who isn't in a married heterosexual relationship so I don't take it personally. Some people just can't open their minds and consider another side of life, and thats just taking away from their life experience IMO. I used to get upset by it, but now I just let it go as their loss.
It is hard though, making that decision. Is homebirth an option? I wanted a homebirth as I was sure we'd face similar attitudes to what you are facing, but we haven't yet so I am going to the hospital. We probably would have had a homebirth had we felt unfairly targeted at any point though. Birth is such an intimate experience, and if you think that your midwives hold certain attitudes towards you chances are you won't be able to relax which isn't ideal. We also worried about Shel's involvement, though I have no fears that she'll feel less involved than any other partner during labour and birth.

Feel free to ask any more questions (oh and you can add me to MSN if you want, its on my profile page :)).

Welcome Leanne & Selena - BB is a very welcoming and supportive place to share your experiences with TTC & pregnancy. Hope you get all the support you need during this exciting phase of your life!

Leash! - WOW! That belly of yours has suddenly got so big! Ha ha Looks great, sounds like everything is going well with your pg. I meant to reply to your name thread but didn't get chance - Alexis is gorgeous name. :clap:

Leasha,

Thankyou so much for that, it has given me a different perspective on things. You sound like you have been through the works with your family. Mine was very similar when me n sel first got together and then it was mainly mum. We have been together since oct 2006 so now she is kind of getting the used to the idea that her little girl isn't going to have the life she dreamed of and is much more friendly to sel. Then I was having a chat with her 'hypothetically speaking' asking what she would think if we ever had a baby and the response was somewhat negative quoting things like 'i'd still like the baby but it's just not natural' and wanted to change the subject quicker than you could blink. This just confirmed my thoughts about her hidden thoughts that still remain about me n sel. I have learnt that you cannot control other peoples feelings on what lifestyle you wish to lead and you also cannot....as you said leasha...live a fantasy thinking everything is fine either. The most important thing is that we are happy in the life we are living and thats all that matters. I used to try and please everybody else but now know that isn't possible. I am very close to my older sister who is ever so supportive of us and us having a baby, she is the only one of us who has a couple of little ones and very excited about becoming a first time aunt lol.

I just want to thank all of you for your friendly gestures and support so far, you sound like beautiful loving people and look forward to getting to know you better

Leanne xxx

Hi Leanne

Good luck to you and your partner when you try to conceive. It certainly is a learning curve.
My partner and I have an almost 3 year old daughter and we have just started trying to conceive again.
My partners family isn't great with us and have never made a secret about not being happy with our relationship but they love Sarah and their issues with us haven't crossed over to her. (so far anyway)
I sometimes find it very hard not having a lot of support from her family, but luckily I have a fantastic family who love us for who we are as people, not what we are.

Good luck with everything

Belinda xxx

Welcome Leanne and Selena, It great to have another lesbian couple on BB. I have two boy (9 and 7 years) to whom I am the non-biological mum. their other mum and I separated three and a half years ago and they live half time with each of us. We has them both in a public hospital, An care in the birth centre but both ended up being emergency LSCS. We have never, at that time or since had problems with homophobia in the healthcare setting. We have always been out, proud and unashamed which I think helps. The other factor for us is that I am a doctor and as much as I hate to say it I think you do get treated differently if you are in the healthcare professions. When my eldest DS was born (almost ten years ago) there were a lot fewer lesbians conceiving children together then there are now and we were a bit of a novelty on the postnatal ward! One of the midwives said to me "you are much more attentive than most of husbands"!

I have been with my DP since July 2006 and we have been TTC since june 2007, inseminating me at home using a known donor. This is how my 2 DSs were conceived so if you have any questions re "doing it yourself" am happy to talk further.

Re the lesbian preg book recommended by Alisia, I got my copy from borders- just found it on the shelves! I ahve a few other similar books which I will check the titles of and let you know.
Anyway, welcome again and enjoy your journey!

Thanks girls, thats really great to see so many friendly people. Dr Girl thats really reassuring to know that you never came across any negative behaviour while your sons were born. I was thinking a bit more about it and I know that everyone would treat me lovely...well most of them lol...I have been a RN for years and now doing my endorsement to be a midwife...i think most people like me and those who are a little closed minded cant help but like me cos they knew me before they knew i was gay lol. I agree that if your a staff member they do treat you differently. Just have to see when the time comes I suppose.

I actually have just started in birthsuite tonight after 3 mths working in the maternity ward. I have seen plenty of straight forward deliveries but this was a vacuum and forceps delivery. Its amazing how the birth can be going along so lovely with the woman pushing really well then the baby becomes distressed and then the labour room turns into a bloody theatre with 10 thousand people in there and then once the baby was born she was whisked off to theatre for vaginal repair. I know i've gone off the subject here but I just needed to vent, I really felt for this woman. There was a lot more to it but its just not fair how your ideal birth doesn't always work out and the whole thing becomes so medicalised.

Anyway....
I'm trying to track down this book. I saw a review on the maybe baby website about it and it sounds really good. How is your ttc going drgirl? I hope all is going well and you get BFP very soon!

Love to you all,

Leanne

Thanks Leanne. Our TTC journey is a bit rocky.We had an early niscarriage in nov 2007 and no BFP since then. I am on my third cycle of clomid and this month am adding pregnyl in the luteal phase. We saw FS for first time this week and between my short LP, low progesterone and some issues with our donor's sperm he has recommended IVF/ICSI so we a re now looking into that pathway!
Re. the books I will look up the titles, just haven't had a chance yet.

I am looking forward to receiving the book i ordered 'ultimate guide to pregnancy for lesbians'. i ordered it from bookaholics and apparently is in the post so thats good. I might get more of an idea on things. Thanks for referring me Alisia and drgirl!

Cheers,

Leanne:)

Hi to you both :D ... Well, if it's of any help I fell pregnant at 39+ & had my 1st baby at 40 with the help of the herbal formula from the Ruth Sharkey's Healing Centre in Qld :)

... I know I fell pregnant for sure on either one of two days when I was ovulating when my reading on the digital thermometer first thing in the morning came up 36.2celcius ;)

Maybe keep a chart with your 1st morn reading, & get to know your ovulation pattern there too !!

I wish you all the very best & let us know how all is going :hug:

Sending you a million speckles of baby dusts your way :bluedust:

sorry for the late reply smiles but thanks, that gives me a guide to follow a little. I haven't actually used a temp chart yet, just OPK. This has been quite acurate but maybe if I do the temp chart too it will give me more of an idea. Thanks again,

Leanne :D

No worries Leanne, ... you are more than welcome :D

... My fingers & toes are crossed for you both :crossfingers:

Good-luck lovely Mummies-to-be hopefully sooner rather than later :goodluck2:

Wishing you all the best of luck and i can vouch that the formula from the Ruth Sharkey's Healing Centre really works, we had be trying for i guess upto 5-6 yrs without any contraception and i was only on the formula for 3 weeks and i got pregnant...this stuff is magic and you can do it all via mail and internet order which is great, there on the Gold Coast!