Sooo friggin cranky!!

Ok, so this could probably go in the boohoo room (mods move if you think it should be there) but its about birth and stuff so thought it deserved to go in here.

I'm so sick of the friggin negative comments I'm receiving about going for a natural birth this time around - not exactly the support I need being a VBAC.

All my work mates (at morning tea) just said that I won't be able to handle it, and that I will end up having another c-section because I'll be screaming for it to be "cut" out of me. And that basically I will not follow through with my no drugs plan because I won't be able to handle the pain.

So basically, no friggin support from my friends. I'm soooo angry.. :angry:

No wonder you're cranky... you have my support. You are strong and informed and know what you're doing. Good on you!! I'm sure you'll be amazed at what your body can do :)

Don't get angry...refocus it and prove to them you can. I had the same issue when I told my friends I didn't want an epidural and proudly them I got through with only gas :D

Gudism!

I am so excited for you that you are going for a VBAC!
It is a major decision to make and i think it is wonderful!

Try to ignore all those negative people and think about how wonderful it is going to be to experience the birth of your bub naturally without surgery!!

big hugs :hug:to you!

Raven - believe me, its only made me more motivated now to prove them wrong - because I'm such a stubborn PITA that I will do it just to shove it up their noses.
But still pi$$es me off cos I don't have my family support (except for DH and my SIL) but my sister and mum both think I'm stupid..

So, I'll fly to QLD and be your support team, mmmk?

I'm so sorry you're finding it hard to rally support Mel... but you show them!
You know that your body is capable of this, and that YOU CAN DO IT.
Be informed and empowered and show them all!!!

Haha and then deny them baby access for doubting you... or is that too cruel... :lol:
Oh I'm a horrible person.

Mel - In the end the only people that matter will be your DH and you. I am so proud that you're going to have VBAC this time round. I know that you will get through this with flying colours.

:

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Raven - believe me, its only made me more motivated now to prove them wrong - because I'm such a stubborn PITA that I will do it just to shove it up their noses.

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Mel, that sounds so much like me it's not funny!
Then you can turn around and tell them that it was soo much easier than a c/s, then see what they say!
I think they may be a bit jealous that you are researaching and have a plan, and a supportive DH!

Can't wait to hear all about your VBAC ;)

Nic

Mel, that really makes me angry. The truth is that most people who agree to drugs when they had originally not wanted to, do it out of fear that they won't be able to cope, rather than the fact that they aren't coping. And it's comments like that which lead to that fear. And then if those comment result in you deciding on pain relief the people who inadvertently caused it will be the first to say "I told you so".

You can do this Mel. I know you can. And having a doula will be a big help to you in achieving your goal. Don't listen to the nay-sayers, don't let those negatives thoughts near your head.

I would love to be a fly on the wall when you are able to say to all those doubters "I told you so". Go get that birth you want hun, you can SO do it.

I don't blame you for being angry I would be to. I support you Prove them all wrong!!!!! Child birth isn't about who can hack the pain and who can't!!!!!!

Those who are telling you that you can't cope probably didn't cope themselves.
They are hoping that you fail because that will make them feel better about whatever capitulations they made in their births.

That is their baggage they are trying to hand over to you - so don't take it on.

Just because others have been brainwashed into believing that women cannot birth without drugs (and up until the 20th century we all did, and very well thank you) does not mean you cannot break free from that.

Gudism
You should look at the post that AJP just posted!

It is amazing and woman having VBAC's with multiple births (twins etc_)

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...t-awesome.html

I feel for you. I had the same stupid comments with my first VBAC and now I'm going for my 3rd VBAC. If you want a natural birth go for it. My last two vbacs have been treated as if I never had a c/s (except for some monitoring). I had fantastic midwives each time that helped me through, even when I was screaming for a c/s. I had no drugs no tear and both births were amazing. The recovery is so much better and you'll be surprised that if you trust your body it knows what to do. Vaginal birth is always safer than having major abdominal surgery. Good luck!!!!

And perhaps get them to watch this!:hug:

YouTube - My HBA2C Story

Im sure that if you are like me anything you set your mind to you can and will do, i was told i was nuts for wanting a natural birth with my DS, but i had one.
While im not in your situation of having a vbac i still wanted a natural birth, this time im being told to book in and be induced as this bub is a good size, ive told them i will have him when he is good and ready.

Aw how can they say that! Everyone has a different coping threshold with pain don't they!

I bet you'll be a superstar and will cope perfectly...and even if you don't who cares what they think! It's your time, so you only worry about you and bubs.

There is always SOMEONE who seems to want to spoil things!:rolleyes:

Go Gudi :cheer: Go Gudi :cheer: Go Gudi :cheer:

Hey GUDISM ... All my friends had their children in their 20's, years before me ... I had my one & only baby at 40 :dance:

... After I gave vag birth & drug free, I rang all 'those' friends & told them (with affection & humor) they had told me a load of rubbish :rolleyes:

Nothing they had preciously told me had come close to what I experience ... And I thought whilst pregnant I was going to go through hell & back with the birth seeing I was so much older then them & had high blood pressure & also discovered only 2wks before my birth that I was in pain around my rib cage due to gallstones ... Did I mention I have scoliosis (curvature of the spine) ;)

Well, as I told my 26 SIL before she had her 1st bub this past March, yeh, the contractions are a B**tch ... but so is bad period pain. For me it was like a mix of bad wind & bad period pain put together. Not this times it by 100 period pain that I read on the Net by so many Mother's ... Ummmm....

And I'm not one to have much period pain in my life, so I sort of don't know how bad period pain is (I just guessed) ???

And as for the actual giving birth it honestly felt like the baby was coming out of my bum ... Wish I had of know that as it was better to deal with that then thinking I was going to feel everything vaginally. It truely was like just having an extra big poo. My friends said they didn't tell me that as they felt it's something that woman don't want to discuss. So strange, why not I thought. One friend said " Cause it's NOT lady like !!!

I told my SIL when she was pregnant if you ever have a really big poo ... Use it to your advantage like you are practising, and there is no need to be scared.

As for the unbelievable burning sensation I kept reading about when the baby's head finally comes through ... I can tell you I must have been so swollen down there (which you kind of expect) that it all went numb & I didn't feel that at all. Infact I don't remember feeling anything there ;)

Never for a moment did I feel scared as every thought went into just simply getting through the contractions.

At my ante-natal classes I remember we had a therapist come who herself had three children & she horrified US all in mentioning in her words " Oh, yuk all the bit & pieces that comes out of you after birth ". Because of that I was scared to get up after I gave birth to walk to the shower ... I honestly thought all sorts of things were going to fall out of me.

Well, I can tell you the big sort of pad they have under you crutch whilst walking you to the bathroom, when I dropped it on the bathroom floor I was so scared for that moment thinking of what this woman said in the ante-natal class ... You know what she was full of rubbish too ... It was just like having a heavy period & nothing else. Yep, I was scared for absolutely NO reason for that very moment !!! :doh:

My older sister had her 1st bub at 38 & she had a very similar experience. We couldn't understand why a lot woman make it sounds like you are going to go through hell.

We both AGREED that your body as a woman is just so amazing during birth. Your body just knows what to do & it pushes ALL the RIGHT buttons for you.

GUDISM have a ton of FAITH in your body ... and I don't mean that religiously. It's the most "empowering tool" you will ever have & especially experience in birth.

If I gave birth again, I would do it all vaginally again for sure even though I'm now a tad older (my daughter is now 2) :)

So, there you go GUDISM that was my experience. I reckon it's pretty damn GOOD !!!

YOU SHOW 'EM GIRL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and make them eat their words !!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S - PINKPALACE, THAT IS AWESOME :cheer:

If you think you can do it, you CAN do it!!
(for some reason, some tiny voice just said - 'don't believe you can, know you can')

It's your body, your baby. You know what you want!

I support your decision! Good luck!

Thanks guys, its nice I have some support out there.

And I know that I can do it, ever since my c-section I have dreamed about it all the time that this is what I am supposed to do. I have no fear (funnily enough) because I know I can. But still, people who doubt me (most who have never had kids themselves) just sets my temper cranking!!!!

PP - thanks for the great vids - they were great. If I wasn't at work I'm sure I would have bawled.. lol

You certainly can and will do it!!! Have you read New Active Birth?? brilliant book for getting confident about natural birthing, and some great photos too.

Their negativity surely stems from their own failures and insecurities, don't take any of it on board!

People act like drugs are the mighty saviour in labour... i had a shot of morphine and it certainly didn't help with the pain, just made me drowsy! i look forward to being more "present" this time - your body will release a ton of good hormones which will help your body bring the baby out.... it feels uncomfortable but exhilarating at the same time.

Look forward to proving them wrong because they are and you can do this!

This is a great article on the role of pain in childbirth:

Andrea Robertson: The Pain of Labour

Why on earth some women feel the need to scare and discourage other women who are towards the end of their pregnancy is utterly beyond me. What a silly thing to do to you! Where's Lulu when we need her? We need some pre-birth bouncing here! ;)

Just keep in mind honey, women have been birthing babies for MANY MANY years, all natural, and we've survived. :) And for the rare few who ran into diffculties, that's why we have hospitals and doctors. If, by some chance, you run into troubles, you'll have them there for you. For the rest, your body knows what to do.

You know you are making a good choice here - go prove them all wrong! :cheer: