Co-sleep - do you still do it?

My DD had been co-sleeping with us and then I put her into a new sleep routine and she was doing well for about 10 days (sleeping in her cot for AM, PM and NIGHT sleeps).

Then she got sick and it all went out the window. Not sure whether to implement it again. I used to let her cry for 1 minute, go in, pat bum, walk out, she'll cry again, etc etc. It seemed more gentle than waiting 3, 5, 7 and 10 mins, unsure if I could do that, can't handle her crying her lungs out. Since she got sick, she is sleeping on me through the day, whilst I curl up on the lounge. And night times, well, she'll wake a bit and won't settle easily.

She is better now and I love her co-sleeping with us and if it works and we all get sleep then so be it for now! We're even thinking this might be developmental.

Just wondering who still co-sleeps with their Bub and how old are they?

What works for you?

Thanks ;)

Hi,
My baby is 19 months now and we still co-sleep. I have been sleeping with him ever since he was born. I also sleep with my older son hes almost 4.
We all sleep well and I have never had any problems with them being in my bed. We all get a good nights sleep.
As new borns they slept longer then most of my friends babies and I put it down to them being close to me, they felt safe.
From an early age they were sleeping from around 6.30-7pm until around 7-7.30am. Its nice to all wake up together.
I wouldnt have it any other way.
If you like bubs in your bed then i suggest you keep her in there, Im sure she wouldnt want it any other way!

My DS is 20 months and we still co-sleep for part of the night, but it's not our choice at all, it's DS's choice. DH and I don't like him in the bed with us and we don't get a good night's sleep with him in there.

He goes to sleep in his own bed beautifully but only stays in there until about midnight, then he comes into bed with us. DH and I know what we have to do to gently (but firmly) get him to sleep in his bed all night, what we're doing at the moment is just the best option we've got for the situation that we're in right now (we're in the middle of a major renovation and our house is freezing and we just don't have any extra energy to put in the effort that would be required to get him to sleep all night in his own bed). When the house is settled and the weather has warmed up we'll be encouraging him stay in his own bed all night.

There are so many different variations on the co-sleeping theme. Even though co-sleeping is not our choice we have totally accepted that this is how we function as a family at the moment and we make the best of it. Yes, it is lovely to all wake up together. The smiles and coos you get when they realise it's a new day (and Mummy's on one side and Daddy's on the other, the two most important people in the whole world are right there to share it with him) are wonderfully precious (but so is a good night's sleep!).

Yep! Mine are 2 and 4.

Usually DD2 will wake about 3-5am and she comes in with me. DS might wander in if he is cold and snuggle in too, not always but moreso in winter.

yep at 2 and a bit....depends on the night. She usually sleeps in her own bed but sometimes needs to sleep with me - no biggie.

DD is 7 and she still sneaks in......

Imran is 2 and Yasin is almost 4 and we still co-sleep. They share a double bed so even when they're not in our bed they share.
With winter here and DH working most nights at the moment I wouln't have it any other way - I love snuggling up with my special little guys on a cold night.

Great replies, thanks everyone ;)

Our baby is 4 months and we co-sleep most of the night. He has his day sleeps and first sleep of the night in the cot (next to our bed) and then at his first feed (around 2am) he comes into bed with us.

He generally self settles now. He will usually grunt and wriggle a bit as he's settling but if he cries we don't leave him. We usually stroke him and settle him back down then leave him again to self settle (he generally goes to sleep better without us there) but if he's having a hard time getting off we sometimes put him a baby carrier or cuddle him on the bed to help settle him off to sleep.

I hopped into DS's bed this morning - it was 4.15am and too cold to sit next to him wearing a nightie! He was asleep again quickly and I went back to my bed, but I have stayed in DS's bed all night and I have also had him in with me for quite a few hours. He always starts off alone and most of the time doesn't need me at all in the night, but when he does tbh I secretly like it. I love him sleeping through, but a wake up and back to sleep with him is quite nice.

He stopped co-sleeping on his own at 10m and it's only been this last month that he'll sleep with us again now. I'm not letting it stop this time!

Personally, I wouldn't be happy if DD could ONLY go to sleep with me there. But, if she wakes up during the night I sprint to get her and only need to hear the slightest cry to have an excuse to put her into bed with us. Luckily, DP loves it too. Infact, he was a bigger evangelist for co-sleeping than I was when she was little.

As I said, I would probably worry if that was the only way she could get to sleep because I would find it draining but love actually having her in with us.

She sleeps in a cot in our room and I have been known to make more noise going to bed than is really necessary in the hope that she will stir and then I have a legitimate excuse for putting her in with us. They are really my most precious moments with DD. This morning she was awake from 1am - 3am which she hasn't done since she was a newborn and it was actually lovely even though I had to get up for work at 7am. She was just lying there chattering away, happy as Larry. I wouldn't want her to do that every night mind you!

My 2 year old often still comes into our bed for part of the night, i enjoy it but DH can't stand it. Wish we had a king bed!

My daughter is 10 1/2 months and I still co-sleep with her. I think its the most natural thing and plan to let her stay as long as she likes. I can totally understand why parents have their babies and children in their bed for a certain time then move then on but i'm going to let her leave when she's ready. To me it seems unfair to have DD in my bed them just kick her out iykwim?

DD is just over 9 months and has co-slept with my from day 1. I have the queen size mattress on the floor, she gets put down there for day sleeps and then again at night. Then when I'm ready for bed, I just slide on in.

Part of me would like her to sleep in her cot, but during the day there's no difference where she sleeps, and I always remembered preferring mum's bed to my own when I was little. There's just something about 'mums bed'.

DD co-slept full time with us until she was 6 months. Then she crawled out of bed :-( I bought a cot and worked on getting her to sleep in her cot for her day sleeps and the first part of the night when we were still up. We did that until she was just over 12 months. She would go to sleep with me on the bed every time, then I would transfer her to the cot. Whe she woke and we weren't ready for bed yet, I would rock her back to sleep. If we were ready for bed or in bed already, I would just bring her into our bed where she would sleep until 8am or so.

At around 9 months she started a bad habit of waking very frequently and wanting a BF. Some nights every 45 minutes. That was really getting to me. I think it was partly to do with DH being a tosser ;-) (not in the bad sense, but he tosses and turns all night) and a snorer. I think he woke her up a lot.
At just over 12 months I decided to try and put a stop to the frequent feeds. I gave DH the job to resettle her at any time that I didn't want to feed her (I still allowed for one middle of the night feed and one early morning feed). This worked really well and after 2 or 3 days we were in a much better routine of her waking 1 or 2 times a night. The second time being at 5 am or even later. This is when I bring her into my bed and we spend the morning sleeping together. Some nights, she still wakes up every 2 hours. But most nights she sleeps pretty well.

I love the early morning co-sleeping and wouldn't have a problem if that continued for many more years. I actually remember vividly doing that when I was little. Probably until I was 7 or 8. And I have the fondest memories of those hours spent cuddling with my parents.

Saša

We've partially co-slept with all our children from when they were newborns and we are still co-sleeping with our youngest (2yo).

With our newborns we've had them in cradles right beside my side of the bed but if they wouldn't settle I'd lift them in with me for a while until they were in deep sleep them pop them back in the crib.

As they get older they start off the night in their own beds and are brought in when and if they wake. This process has varied with each child depending on their needs. Our middle child decided he liked his own bed quite early. Our youngest doesn't mind his own bed but in winter he gets too cold so needs my warmth (we don't have heaters on overnight).

ETA: we used to do the 'pat pat pat' thing while they are in their cots but by the time we had our third I just couldn't be bothered... so we've ditched that idea in preference to instant peace and rest by co-sleeping in bed.

All my kids are good sleepers. None of them have fears like the dark. We're going to buy a king sized bed eventually but the queen has been adequate.

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Then she got sick and it all went out the window. Not sure whether to implement it again. I used to let her cry for 1 minute, go in, pat bum, walk out, she'll cry again, etc etc. It seemed more gentle than waiting 3, 5, 7 and 10 mins, unsure if I could do that, can't handle her crying her lungs out. Since she got sick, she is sleeping on me through the day, whilst I curl up on the lounge. And night times, well, she'll wake a bit and won't settle easily.

She is better now and I love her co-sleeping with us and if it works and we all get sleep then so be it for now! We're even thinking this might be developmental.

Just wondering who still co-sleeps with their Bub and how old are they?

What works for you?

Thanks ;)

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I just wanted to post a bit OT but about something you mentioned in your OP.

If you are able to co-cleep (ie, not on medications, or a smoker etc etc the usual stuff) then I think It's really important to co-cleep especially if your babe is unwell.

"This sleeping arrangement permits mothers (and fathers) to respond quickly to the infant if it cries, chokes, or needs its nasal passages cleared, its body cooled, warmed, caressed, rocked or held. This arrangement thus helps to regulate the infant's breathing, sleep state, arousal patterns, heart rates and body temperature. The mother's proximity also stimulates the infant to feed more frequently, thus receiving more antibodies to fight disease. The increased nipple contact also causes changes in the mother's hormone levels that help to prevent a new pregnancy before the infant is ready to be weaned. In this way, the infant regulates its mother's biology, too; increased breast-feeding blocks ovulation, which helps to ensure that pregnancies will not ordinarily occur until the mother's body is able to restore the fat and iron reserves needed for optimal maternal health." from Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them
by James J. McKenna, Ph.D.

Also, Isn't 7 months like really young to be CC'ing?!? (though in my opinion CC'ing is never a good idea)

DS is 2 and usually spends part of the night in our bed. He was sleeping through in his cot but we moved house and he was very unsettled so he started coming in with us. Partly it annoys me but part of me loves it because he is my last baby and I don't want to waste a moment.
I feel sad that with my 1st child it was like the ultimate sin to let them sleep with you and even when my XH left me I didn't let her sleep with me (she was 2)

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I just wanted to post a bit OT but about something you mentioned in your OP.

If you are able to co-cleep (ie, not on medications, or a smoker etc etc the usual stuff) then I think It's really important to co-cleep especially if your babe is unwell.

"This sleeping arrangement permits mothers (and fathers) to respond quickly to the infant if it cries, chokes, or needs its nasal passages cleared, its body cooled, warmed, caressed, rocked or held. This arrangement thus helps to regulate the infant's breathing, sleep state, arousal patterns, heart rates and body temperature. The mother's proximity also stimulates the infant to feed more frequently, thus receiving more antibodies to fight disease. The increased nipple contact also causes changes in the mother's hormone levels that help to prevent a new pregnancy before the infant is ready to be weaned. In this way, the infant regulates its mother's biology, too; increased breast-feeding blocks ovulation, which helps to ensure that pregnancies will not ordinarily occur until the mother's body is able to restore the fat and iron reserves needed for optimal maternal health." from Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them
by James J. McKenna, Ph.D.

Also, Isn't 7 months like really young to be CC'ing?!? (though in my opinion CC'ing is never a good idea)

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Great post! Yes I won't be doing cc'ing again although I never ever let her scream her lungs out. I feel good it never got to that, love her sleeping with me, love the snuggles!

Great post Laura :) Can I also add to that list of co-sleeping benefits? from another thread I read that co-sleeping boosts your child's immunity as the extended close contact promotes the tranferance of germs between parents and child. This is a GOOD thing. it is much better for a childs' body to have regular contact with germs (the body gets good at fighting them) rather than keeping them germ-free and them suddenly getting a big dose of germs such as when a cold virus is brought home from school by another child. It was also said that uncircumsized baby boys benefit from this regular germ exposure and have significantly less urinary tract infections if they have co-slept.

MrsMac: i agree... 13 years ago co-sleeping was more frowned upon and I did so with guilt. I'm glad i have an arrogant streak LOL I guess basically my theory is that if you do things the way nature intended than you can't really go wrong. It seems to me that more and more frequently this is the message from the 'experts'... 'go back to how nature does things... we stuffed up when we interferred'.

I used to wake up in a blind panic that I had forgotten to put her back in her cradle after a feed and that she was still in bed with me thats how paranoid I was Bath! This was 16 years ago though!

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If you do things the way nature intended than you can't really go wrong.

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When I was copping the most about co-sleeping, and starting to doubt myself, a girlfriend told me the following:

The three of you (meaning me, my hubby and DD) get stranded on a deserted island, only us three there. What do we do? Do we put DD down on one part of the island, then go curl up together somewhere else? Or do all three of us sleep snuggled up together.

That there gave me my answers and I have 110% embraced co-sleeping AND talked about it ever since.

Plus, who can resist a raspberry to the cheek if you're not the first awake. :cryinglaugh:

Haydies, I love the island analogy. You have a great friend there!
and awwwwww about the raspberry! I know what you mean, I just love waking up to a smiling face and kisses and cuddles.
Saša

15 months and still going here :) We didn't plan it, but that's the way it's panned out. DS starts off in his cot, and then comes into our bed at varying times. Last night was midnight, but sometimes it's as late as 5 or 6am. Whilst I love getting a good nights sleep while he's in his cot, I also really love having him in our bed. DH would prefer that it wasn't happening all the time, as he's a very restless sleeper and gets disturbed a lot by DS, but he admits that he loves having him in the bed.

Whatever works I say! And yes, I totally agree with cosleeping while they're sick - anything that helps a sick bubba get some rest.

We co sleep here too. Much to many peoples disgrace. I didn't plan it to be this way but I don't mind too much. DS used to start out in his cot and then come into our bed at various times too but back in May he got the chicken pox and refused to go in his cot so he was in with us when we went to bed and he hasn't gone back to his cot since. I'm planning on trying to have him start out in his cot during the next school hols though and he can come in to us when he wakes for a feed. We'll have to see how this plan works ;)

yep, still co-sleeping here
i love it and find now that i actually find it harder to sleep when he's not in there. we love cuddling up together and he's turning into such an affection, snuggly little boy. my girlfriends all love getting a big cuddle and a smooch from him when they see him :)

Ditto, Rainforest, I sometimes find it difficult to go to sleep without DS!

Our almost 2 and a half yr old still comes into our bed every night (usually around 4-5am, but occasionally from midnight onwards). We love waking up with her and she's a great still little sleeper. It's still a bit cramped! Funnily enough we didn't really co-sleep with her all the time when she was a baby, she was perfectly happy in her cot unless she was sick.

I'm the same at Jen13. Havent done it from birth as DD1 was so happy in her cot etc but now she is in a big bed its not uncommon for her to come in in the wee hrs. Generally about 3am. I dont mind as we all sleep well and its lovely to wake up to her smiling face. I might need a bigger bed though if and when DD2 decides to join us. :cryinglaugh:

We didn't do it from birth either, probably started around 7 months.

My DS is 3 in December and he still co-sleeps. It didn't really start out that way, but after I left his father and was studying at uni and still breastfeeding him at night it just seemed easier to have him in my queen bed with me. He's gone through stints of sleeping in a cot or wanting to sleep in his bed, but it doesn't last, and I don't want to force him at the moment. I too find it harder to get to sleep when he isn't with me, although it's nice to have my bed back, but it's like I worry more and check on him more when he's in his own bed.