Miscarriage Advice

(Previously posted: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ion-bleed.html )

Well, we're now pretty sure that DW is miscarrying, she's having increasing pain and is now passing clots.

We managed to see our GP this morning, who was quite unsympathetic - I'm tossing up taking DW to hospital this afternoon, because she has a lot of arm pain now, and she has had previous health problems that may predispose her to ectopic pregnancy.

I'm wondering from anyone's prior experience - how bad does the pain of miscarriage get? Is it as painful as labour pains? And how long have people been advised to wait after a miscarriage to TTC again? This will be our second miscarriage, but the first was almost ten years ago, and we've had two healthy pregnancies since then.

Michael I can't offer any advice I just wanted to offer some hugs.
I'm really sorry :( :hug:

Michael I'm really sorry to hear that. I can't help you with your question as mine was a missed m/c, I had spotting, a scan to confirm, and then went in for d&c, which was necessary, but I also really wanted/needed it. I know the pain after the d&c was awful, but that doesn't really help you.

I think if she is predisposed to an ectopic then I would be heading in to hospital to rule that out. How far along is she? Maybe she'll need a d&c?

As for how long, we were advised to wait for two months, my Ob was quite upfront in saying that they don't know why, but it seems to slightly reduce the risk of m/c again with the next pg. He did point out that it was hardly the end of the world if we did fall pg again straight away, chances were that the pg would be a healthy one. We conceived without really trying after one cycle though, and our baby is now here, happy and healthy. You'll find that some people will advise to wait, some will advise to go straight ahead. You and DW will know what's best for you :)

:hug: for both of you.

Hi there,
I am very sorry to hear of this.
With my m/c's they have both been quite painful. My first was at approx 8 weeks gest, and tha pains were quite bad. I had to jump in a hot bath the try and ease the pain a little. Not quite on par with labour pains, but pretty close.

I agree with the PP's maybe just taking your DW to the hospital just in case.

I m/c at the start of this month, and I won't be waiting much longer... I will TTC when I ovulate at the end of this week start of next.

Good luck, and best wishes.

Very sorry to hear that....
My m/c pains were like baddish period pains, but nothing at all like labour pains. That said, everyone has diff experiences. I was told to wait a few months more for the emotional side than the physical. I would go to the hospital if you have any queries. Pity about your GP. If only they knew the support/advice etc that was needed at this time........

Hugs my love I am so sorry... :hug:

If you suspect an ectopic pregnancy you need to be in hospital - hopefully you will have made your way there by now... :hug:

Miscarriage can be very painful. Mine were early 6 weeks ish and there was significant blood loss, clots and pelvic pain. It's an awful pain as unlike the pain of labour it is only dread and sorrow, rather than the sweet anticipatory pain of labour. This I think exacerbates the pain.

I used herbs to aid the miscarriage, took high doseage of vitamin c and some homeopathy to help. Hot packs and hot baths and showers helped. The pain was only awful for the first day.

Sending you and your DW love support and strength as you say goodbye. I am sorry... :hug:

Is a bath at this time ok? Just wondering 'cos you cant have one after a d & c, because the cervix is still a bit open?? Not sure.

So sorry to hear that Michael. :hug: to you and your DW.

Baths are fine Lulu. Baths and tampons are contraindicated after currettage as there has been essentially surgery to the uterus. Suction curettage is most commonly used but this can and does leave the walls of the uterus open to infection. Also the cervix is artificially dilated to allow for the curettage. As such baths are not recommended as there is an increased risk of infection. Any time that a foreign object is introduced into the body it increases the risk of infection. In a natural miscarriage the cervix does not dilate to the level that it is artificially dilated for a D & C & there is no rawness of the uterine wall -

Yeah I thought the artificial dilation may have been something to do with it.

Schmick - if she is partial to a bath, I'd suggest it to her, I find they really help with the cramps personally but after you go to the GP, I dont like the sound of the sore arm.

GL xoxoxo

:hug: sorry to hear that.

I had my m/c at 6 weeks and the pain was like bad period pain. I had a few visits to the emergency room but I passed eveything naturaly so didnt need a d&c. I was told by my GP and the hospital that because it was an early m/c I could start trying again straight away as it would just be like a late period - and we concieved that next try.

Good luck and I hope your wife feels better soon.
Tell her to cry when she needs and greive as she needs - you also
All the best
Kate

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this, it is not fair :(
I recently had a m.c at 8 weeks and for me it was extremely painful, the most painful thing that's ever happened to me so far. Don't want to scare you, just telling you because if I knew it was going to happen to me again I would ask the Dr for some strong painkillers before hand. Hot packs on the back or stomach really helped me. Fortunately the pain didn't last the whole time the bleeding did, it was only really 4-6hrs.
Hopefully you're at the hospital now if you think it could be ectopic, :hug: to your wife, she is in my thoughts.
Our Dr said wait until after your first period after the m.c to start TTC but I couldn't find any evidence for why this was the case so we decided to TTC straight away and fell pregnant again before AF, everything is fine so far.

Well, we managed to speak to our Gynaecologist by phone in the evening (luckily we know her, DW's mother is her receptionist) and she didn't think it was ectopic. So we stayed at home last night, DW was very unwell, dizzy, and in lots of pain.

Looking forward to this being over...

i'm really sorry you're both having to go through this Schmickers - there's no easy way to deal with the physical and emotional pain for both of you

am hoping the worst of it is over physically for your DW, and that you can both move on to being able to grieve your loss

thinking of you both

BG

Im sorry to hear schmickers.

I just wanted to add, that if it was me and i was in excruciating pain then i would go to hospital, or even make a GP appointment. I have had 2 m/c. One was almost painless, like a heavy period. The other was quite painful, but panadine forte helped. Pain as bad as labour is pretty intense..... might be worth getting checked out.

Hope this is over soon for your DW.

Michael,

Sending you and your DW hugs right now, this is a very painful time, both physically and emotionally and you will need each more than ever.

Its up to you, but I would take your DW to the hossy to get checked out JIC, especially if she continues to feel dizzy. I had an ecoptic pg and I didnt experience any of the usual symptoms so it wasnt detected until I was 9wks pg and started bleeding. Its also a good idea for her to get checked at some stage to makes sure that she has a complete miscarriage to avoid possibility of infection or damage.

Im very sorry that this is happening.

Lisa xx

Michael, I really agree with Lisa. I know you and your DW are knowledgeable about these things, but it must be difficult when you're experiencing it yourselves, it's a very emotional time. If she is still feeling terrible I would have her checked to make sure all is going okay. I think Falguni is right, pain as bad as labour pain sounds pretty heavy. Any m/c is terrible, but you would hate for her to have an undiagnosed ectopic.

:hug: again for you both, I really hope V is feeling better today.

Michael i'm so sorry. :(

My first loss i had one cramp which was comparable to labour pain.

My 2nd (actually much earlier, began to spot at 5wks, complete loss at 6.5wks) loss was incredibly painful for several hours. I did end up in A&E. I had agonising contraction-like waves of pain in my back, heavy bloodloss and felt very dizzy and sick. I had a hot bath which made the bleeding heavier and the pain worse but hastened the loss (i had the bath, went to hospital, came home, lost the baby) so was i suppose good in that way. I did NOT have arm pain and that doesn't sound good to me either.

It's such a very personal time. The last thing i wanted was to go into hospital. But i suppose i should tell you what my mother told me at the time. They probably cannot help you, but you needn't let them harm you, and though this baby couldn't stay, the next one will and it needs a safe place in which to do so. If you are worried, take her to hospital.

Please tell her when she is able to hear it that i cried reading your posts. Reading this brought back my own losses so acutely, it's so painful to think of another couple having to go through it. I wish i could do more than :hug:, but's it's the best i got right now.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Bx

Michael, huni I am sooooo very sorry to hear you guys are going through this.

From what Vic has said to me it sounds like she is coming through the other side of it. But I did tell her that if it gets worse she should listen and go to the hospital too.

Sending you both huge hugs from me. You know where I am if you guys need me :hug: