Need Advice please 6 week old

Hi Everyone,

I have just joined this website in the hope that someone can offer some advice.There is so many issues going in with my wee man born the 3rd June not sure where to start.First off he was breastfeeding fine on demand but then he was crying non stop and feeding constantly to the point where one night I pretty much sat on the couch all evening without moving.Next day midwife weighed him and he'd lost a lot.I tried everything but to cut a long story short hes been supplemented with organic formula .So I breastfeed him first on one boob and then he gets 60 mls of formula.Problems are with firstly him choking both while breastfeeding and bottlefeeding, I find it terrifying could he choke?The other issue is that my husband feeds him during the day but at night I do and its a real battle with the bottle, crying,seems to have lots of wind.Thats the other issue last night for example, he was fed at 10.30 into the cot awake at 1.30 back in at 3am awake again at 4am after a full feed which is a new thing he acutally used to sleep a bit longer than that.Then at 4am another feed didn't both putting him back in cot and he slept on me from 5 till 6.30am another feed and then asleep for about another hour.Its so exhauting!The thing is during the day he sleeps 2/3 hrs after a feed!He also sometimes breastfeeds well then other times he is stuggling,squirming and coming on and off the breast I can't figure out why?

He also gets really overtired but will not sleep and gets really cranky then.I have tried to have a kind of routine but hes so all over the place.At 6 weeks should he be in a routine?

Hes putting on weight well etc now so not worried about that.

I hope someone has some advice as I am not really enjoying him.I am getting on average about 4 hours sleep a night and its taking its toll.

Hi. Welcome to BB.


At 6 weeks he could be having a growth spurt.
Try to keep a routine, but he won't really settle into it at this age. But it will help in the long run. Eg, bath before bed. He'll get to know that when it's bath time it's nearly bed & will get used to that.

Try putting him down awake if possible & getting him do go to sleep in his cot. If possible get him to put himself to sleep.

It's not easy at that age, but it will get easier.
Sleep when ever you can. Whenever he sleeps if possible. Good luck.

Hi, congratulations on your new little bundle and welcome!

Firstly, :hug: to you, you seem to be doing a wonderful job!

It sounds as though you are at that wonderful 'growth spurt' stage!! I experienced very similar things to what you are going through and when you don't know what is happening it can be very trying!

Around this age babies want to feed constantly and can appear unhappy all the time, hopefully it shouldn't last too long! Bubs is wanting to feed so much so that he can build up your supply so that it is just perfect for him. You should notice in a few days/a week that things will of calmed down a lot and you may even feel less full.... this is all very normal and is the magical way of both your body and your baby working together to have the right supply/balance of milk!!

Please be aware, that this is commonly the stage where a lot of women feel that they are not making enough milk to satisfy their baby and will often supplement or give up all together.... please hang in there... it is only a very short stage!!

The other thing I'd suggest is that if it is possible, try to BF as much as you can, rather than give him a bottle... babies don't have to work as hard for their food when they bottle feed so they can become confused by it and a little bit lazy!

When you try to bottle feed him, he will be able to smell your milk and is probably confused and seems upset because he would much rather the taste of that nice warm milk from Mummy!! Therefore, he accepts it easier from Daddy, because there is no other option!

Please stay strong, you are doing a fantastic job and it does get a lot easier and more rewarding!!

I hope that helps you out a bit, take care :)

Hi
Congratualtions on your new baby. My ds is just over 7 weeks born on May 29th so not much older than your baby. We went throught exactly the same thing just over a week ago, it lasted only a few days but it was very trying, i think i fed him every hour and a half for a few days there and he wasn't sleeping very well either. The only advise i can give is that you just sit and relax as much as possible, and like you i slept with Hamish on me a few times as it was the only time he slept. Believe me it does get better quickly and i know at the time you may think you cant cope with it but just keep thinking it will pass and you will get through it. The squirming and coming of the breast, my ds does this also, i am not sure what this means but usually he has wind and if i rub his back for awhile it usually subsides but not all the time, i also wonder if they ds does this when he is really tired, sorry not much help with that one. Your doing a great job and try to enjoy your beautiful new baby. My dd is now back to sleeping in his cot, i put him in awake and he settles him self off to sleep during the day, he takes a little longer when putting him to bed at night if i dont get him in his cot before he is over tired. I hope things settle down for you soon so you can start enjoying your precious baby.:hug:

Try holding him a little more upright when you feed to help with the wind. Be careful with formula supplementing as it WILL interfere with your supply. Try not to panic about the weight gain, if you have time check out some of the other threads about this, there is fantastic advice and support in them.

So much seems to happen at 7 weeks, you are not alone.

Hi there!

It sounds like you are as the other ladies are suggesting experiencing the '6 week' crying peak...there area few known ones (2-3 weeks, 6 weeks and around the 12-14 week) they generally last around a week and can throw us no end! especially with the sleep deprivation (ie torture) kicking in! before i get the feeding part, yep, try to develop some cues to yourself and bubs when it is time for bed. from wrapping him up, to a bath etc. (i wrote in more detail about this in another thread in this section). and with whatever you do, persistency and consistency is the key!

I have to agree with what the other ladies have mentioned. BF as much as possible. but that said, it is (well was in our case) possible to over-feed. when i read your comment about him feeding nonstop on the couch it brought back memories of my daughter leila who at about 5 days old demanded to be fed non-stop. this went on for 8 hours of almost constant feeding. everytime she came off she screamed. luckily i was still in the hospital and a lactation consultant came into the room by chance and told me to stop feeding as DD had a belly ache from having too much! her belly had to be wrapped in warm towels and she went without a feed for 5 hours! i felt really bad, but it made sense to me. after that the LC told me to feed off one breast at a time for awhile. i dont think leila started to take 2 until she was close to 3 months...
(and the couple of times i did try...you know those lonely hours of the 2am...LOL!) i knew about it straightaway as she would draw her legs up and scream in pain...

However, that said, it may be that BF is just not going to be right for your bub. it happens, and both you and DH may find it a whole world easier to make the switch. at the end of the day, bubs has gotten loads of nutrients of you from the colostrum already and the formula is good stuff these days. what's most important in the whole world for bubs at the moment is a healthy and happy mummy. there are a number of women in my mothers group that had supply issues etc and had to make the switch, and their bubs are just as bouncy, just as cute as anyone of the others!

Also, have you gotten in contact with a mums group (maybe one run by a MACH centre?) i found them to be my lifesavers! it gave me a couple of hours during the week to just talk shop, cry, hug, drink loads of well needed lattes, and laugh at the nappy exploits of our 'cherubs'. we catch up at least once a week and it is great fun. it helps to bring the joy back into being a mum and gives pause for reflection on the awesomeness of our efforts at making beautiful babies.

And i know that a million people tell you this (AFTER you had the baby...why didnt they tell us this BEFORE??). but it DOES get better after the first 12 weeks...seems a long way off from where you are, but it gets better every week from now on. by 8 weeks you'll notice positive changes and by 12 you'll hit the ground running.

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However, that said, it may be that BF is just not going to be right for your bub. it happens, and both you and DH may find it a whole world easier to make the switch. at the end of the day, bubs has gotten loads of nutrients of you from the colostrum already and the formula is good stuff these days. what's most important in the whole world for bubs at the moment is a healthy and happy mummy. there are a number of women in my mothers group that had supply issues etc and had to make the switch, and their bubs are just as bouncy, just as cute as anyone of the others!

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I'm sorry, but I disagree with most of this statement... I'm sure that BFing is right for you and your baby! Of course, it may seem that things would be a lot easier if you switched to FFing but this isn't the case.... You are just experiencing a normal stage of Breastfeeding!
Formula is not as good as breast milk!!! There just isn't a comparison. Yes, it is an option if all else fails, but there are a lot of detrimental effects associated with it too...

Please seek some professional advice before you make any major decisions with feeding your baby, I would hate to think that someone reading this would think that Formula is just as good as breast milk... I'm sorry, I just had to clarify!! :)

I hope things are better for you today! :hug:

I just wanted to let you know I had problems at 6 weeks & almost gave up. I've been breastfeeding exclusively for over 4 months now.
I had cracked nipples, thrush in my nipples, I slight cases of mastitis - thank God I'd read about that & knew what to do!!
DS has had wind problems before too. I bought some Infacol C. It helps the air bubbles in their belly join together to come up easier.
Do you use a dummy. It'd be better than all night feeding if he'll take it. Try rolling a blanket or towel or something up under his mattress so he is propped slightly upright. This can help with the wind too.
Talk to MCHN & maybe even contact a lactation consultant. They should both have some good ideas that should help.

Talk to your MCHN about not enjoying him too. She can do a PND check. It may just be coz you are over tired, but it'd be good to get checked anyway.
Everything will get better & easier. Sleep might be an issue for a while, but as I said, sleep whenever he does if you can. It doesn't matter if it's lunch time & there are no clean clothes or plates. Sleep for you is more important!

Hi Everyone.

Thank you so much for all your advice and such quick replies!

The situation with Conn was that he breastfed well in the first few weeks on demand but it was every half hour to an hour.He was extremely unsettled crying all the time.Everyone told me thats newborns and part of it but I felt there was something more.After that night of constantly feeding and the midwife telling me he had lost weight I knew that was it.She recommended expressing and feeding it to him on a spoon.I tried this but was impossible.I remember having a bottle and wanting to feed him but felt terrified he would stop breastfeeding.The next day after a terrible night of screaming he was listless and not very alert.The midwife said he needed to have more food now and as a last resort told me to supplement with formula.What a difference he was like a different baby,content and calm.The poor fella was simply hungry and for some reason was not getting enough for me.I did go and see a lactation consultant who gave great advice on positioning and recommended supplementing with a tube with EBM.It was just too finicky for me and at 3am was not going to be doable.My husband cannot help at all at night as he started chemo and radiation the day after Conn was born so needs all his sleep.The formula has not interfered with my supply.My supply has increased since the midwife recommended lactation tea and a homepathic supplement.The way I am doing it now is breastfeeding him first and then 60mls of formula but he doesn't even finish this every time.Yet if I just breastfeed him he gets cranky.I think every baby is different and we just have to do what we think is right.

One other thing I wanted to get advice on but this is probably the wrong place is what time should we be putting him to bed.At the moment he sleeps in the evening on the couch and then he had a feed about 10 and then we put him in the cot at 10.30 when we are going to bed.Should we be putting him earlier but if we do then hes in another room and I like to keep an eye on him

Thanks again everyone

Jesse will usually have his last feed between 8 & 9. I put him to bed after that feed, but our brm is right next to the lounge room, so he's nice & close.
I think any where between 7 & 9. Whatever time suits you best. Try to put him down around the same time every night.
Jesse still feeds every 2 - 3 hours during the day, & would go longer on formula if I wanted to give it to him, but he is not unsettled like your little man.
I'm glad things are getting better.

Hi IrishConn,

I'm glad things seem to be getting better and YAY! for the increase in supply.

As for the sleep thing we ended up picking a nominal time for bedtime (7pm). and going from there. (we started the sleep cues: bath, massage, feed and wrap) and then put her down. at that age she would still wake sometimes around 10-12 for a feed then again somewhere between 3-4...ITH!

Good luck with it all! your baby is very lucky to have such a great mum!

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Formula is not as good as breast milk!!! There just isn't a comparison. Yes, it is an option if all else fails, but there are a lot of detrimental effects associated with it too...

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Little Toes: I am sorry that what i posted seems to have offended you. this was not intended. However, I do not appreciate having my words spun. Nowhere in my post did i mention that formula is as good as breast milk. This is something I DO NOT believe in. we are on the same side; I WHOLEHEARTEDLY believe that breast is best and advocate it strongly, however, i do understand that there are moments when ALL ELSE FAILS. I do not want to judge or look down on someone for doing making the switch.

IrishConn - At your son's age, I was putting DS to bed about 10pm. Once he was about 15 weeks, I started to put him to bed at about 7:30pm. You want his longest stretch of sleep to be at the same time as you sleep (so if he sleeps 7pm - midnight, that doesn't give you a good block of sleep, but if he sleeps 10pm - 2am, you get a decent 4 hours). The other option is to put him to bed earlier (7pm-ish) and give him a "dreamfeed" before you go to bed (10pm-ish).

A word about unsettledness after feeds. Although they can be unsettled after feeds because they are still hungry, it can also be wind, or that they just like to suck. My DS is almost always cranky when the feed if over. He is putting on plenty of weight (he is above the 97th percentile - he's off the charts!) - so it's not that I don't have enough milk - it's just that he likes to suck & gets cranky when he has to stop. So, I have a dummy ready & pop it in his mouth as soon as he finishes feeding - he quickly settles.

Hi,

Just thought i'd pop in and tell you what worked for me with an unsettled bub at night.

My DD is only five weeks old so I'm still learning too - I know how tough it is!

In the first couple of weeks she would be up crying and constantly feeding from 8pm until about 5am when she would eventually fall asleep with me on the couch.

My MCHN advised me to give her first feed at about the same time every morning (7am worked best for me, give or take, sometimes she wakes at 6am sometimes 7.30am), and open the blinds in her room and keep her in daylight all day to let her know it's daytime, even her day sleeps are with the blinds open...

Within two days she was sleeping from 7pm until 7am, waking only for feeds at about 10pm, 1am and 4am, she's feed then straight back to sleep. Now she's dropped the 1am feed.

It might not worked for everyone but it did for me.... I truly hope things get better for you, sounds like your husband isn't well which must be so stressful for you along with a newborn and no sleep, the worst combinations! Please keep the questions coming - we've all been there and everyone is happy to lend some advice... Big hugs :hug:

It sounds like you getting somewhere with your little one that is working for you both... for the most part. The crankiness could be a few things, bf won't fill up as much or last as long (from what i've been told) but i think it's just allowing the time for your bub to work with your body to get the right balance. I really wanted to bf my bub but knew to try stay relaxed about it as it's not possible for everyone. My first aim was to make it to 3 months and that did seem really hard sometimes. I had times (i have no idea what age DS was) but he'd begin a feed and be going along ok and then just start fighting me, crying, not attaching all this weird stuff that just confused the hell out of me becuase we were going along great. I persisted thankfully and he got out of that horrible stage. Making it to 3 months was a HUGE milestone for myself and DS, i got there and thought, wow maybe i can make it to 6 months and we made it to that and i would say from then on it was easier but before that it was something i had to work extremely hard at. I bf DS for 13 months.

Keep trying Irishconn, i'm sure you'll be able to get through this difficult time and be able to relax and enjoy feeding your beautiful boy. You do what you feel is best for yourself and your son and he will always adore you for it.

I wish you the best of luck also with the path you are traveling with your DH :hug:

The sleep is a whole other issue too, it's hard work also and i think you need to remember that you need to show your DS when it's time to sleep and how best to fall asleep, this all has to be learnt. You could do this buy looking for his tired signs, maintaining a routine and sometimes it may mean sitting by the cot patting him off to sleep but insisting it's bed time. From an early age i think i had DS in bed around 6 or 7pm and then he'd be up again about 9ish for another feed. I think it's realistic to have some sort of routine in place by 8 weeks, before that it's just establishing different things that you might like to eventually incorportate into a routine. Good luck it's hard work but the bubs defiantely benifit from our hard work and sleepless nights and then once it's up and running we get our sleep back.

You're dealing with a lot so take what advice you imagine may work for you but you know what is best for your family so trust yourself :hug:

I hope things are improving for you, it's true every baby is different and you really do need to take the advice you get and do what is best for your situation.... I'm sorry to hear that your DH isn't well, :hug: to you and your family.

As for his sleeping, again it is really what works best for you. I always tried to settle my babies at around 7ish and then feed them again when we went through to bed at around 11ish... They were in a cradle nearby though so again it's really what you find easiest/best.

Take care & best of luck. :)

Cassius2- I'm not offended :), I'm sorry that you think I spun your words, that wasn't my intention! I was just trying to clarify in case someone else reads the post and thinks that formula is good stuff these days... Maybe they might take it like it is comparable to BM, that's all, so again I am sorry.. I didn't mean to offend! :redface:

I wasn't successful in BFing my DS and think that a lack of support, knowledge and negative pressure contributed to that so I totally understand what it is like to FF and just wish I new what I know now.... I am still feeding my DD who is 13 months and often wish that I had looked at all my options fully, before making the switch so I suppose I can seem a bit passionate about it... again I apologise! :hug:

Little Toes: No worries! I didnt realise that my post read that way. I just thought that with all the Mummy guilt we feel these days in an environment of isolation, I want to be able to support people with whatever decision they make. From my own experience i have stood in the shopping aisle staring at formula wondering if it would have just been easier to make the switch, but luckily DD decided for me and she has been BF like a champ for the last 10 months!

IrishConn- your story brought back memories of my DS... what a horrible memory of feeding through out the night every 1 1/2 -2 hours... after putitng up with this for 3 weeks straight i took my DS to the MCHN who suggested supp feeds as soon as i started he started sleeping through out the night but by milk supply started to diminish. He also started throwing up after a bottle and although his weight gains were normal it still didnt seem right to me. I took him to the GP and told him about his symptoms. His fussing at the boob, crying/screaming after like he was hungry, arching his back, pulling off or at the boob, pains like wind i was told were signs of reflux. At the young age my DS wasnt throwing up (but all other signs the same as reflux) and i was told it was called silent reflux which is why it goes undiagnosed. Once i started on the formula the throwing up started which is gastro- osophegul (spl?) reflux.

Not sure if this is the case with your ds but if your worried i'd get him checked out. I was told by a Mid wife to supp feed but this intern made the reflux worse. My DD also now suffers from colic and silent reflux. she cries after feeds, i often see her cough and make choking noises which is the acid and milk coming back up in her mounth and choking her (but not actually being expelled from the mouth) she makes weird faces which is the bad taste of the curdled milk. the pulling at the boob is usually caused by the acid comming back up the osophegus while their laying down feeding. i now have to make DD sit up almost all the was a feed- it looks so awekward but it has help he so much.

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He also sometimes breastfeeds well then other times he is stuggling,squirming and coming on and off the breast I can't figure out why?

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My DD is the same some feeds she's fine and others are a real struggle... if i give her her zantac 15 mins before a feed it stops all the squirming and struggling... it settles the acid so its not burning while she's feeding.

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He also gets really overtired but will not sleep and gets really cranky then

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i wrap my DS up when she's like this i put her hands by her side (makes her cry worse at first) when she's tired she fights the wrap rubbs her face till its red, screams till she's all flushed etc. i find the ristriction of her movement patting on the bottom and slight bounching works, takes a while but eventually after s hort time she'll settle stop fighting and drift off to sleep.. i tired many other things suggested but find when she's so overtired she needs to try to stay still and try to relax... the fussing and fighting does nothing more then increase her irritability and tiredness..

Good luck.

Hi IrishConn
First - big hugs to you! This is a fairly typical phase for all new babies, unfortunately, and it's tough!
My little boy was the same around 6-7 weeks, and again at 10-11 weeks I'm afraid to say, but we learnt so much the first time it was definitely easier then.
Ds also suffered from reflux earlier on, and would do many of the thigns you describe. We found the best thing was to hold him upright or prop him up for at least 20 minutes after feeds. Also trying to sit him more upright during feeds helped. There were many nights that the only way any of us could sleep was if I held him in my arms, sitting upright in bed. The good news is that this has passed for us now, and he is able to sleep lying down.
He also would demand feeds constantly, and this was partly due to a desire to suck to relieve his tummy upset or to settle himself when overtired.
In the end, only you know what is best for your baby - unfortunately it just takes some time for us to feel confident in ourselves as parents.

On bed times, I have found that putting DS to bed earlier has helped him to sleep better & longer (generally). If your baby is getting overtired, I would recommend trying an earlier bed time - the more rested babies are the better they tend to sleep.

Good luck - and sorry to hear that your husband is unwell, I hope his treatment is going well.

Hi Irishcon,

:hug: & congragulations on making it 1/2 way to that magical 12 week mark.
Reading your post brought back very vivid memories of those early days where DS was taking upto an hour to feed at times & all I seemed to do was have my boobs hanging out & rocking a crying baby to sleep. A few things that helped me.

About routines, for some people their bubs fall into a routine easily for others it is not so easy, don't beat yourself up if it just ain't happening, forgot about the routine & just concentrate on what you have to do next.

You mentioned you think your DS may have wind pain, my DS was really hard to burp but I just persisted, it could take upto 5 mins to get a single burp out at times, try lying him on his tummy over your lap or on the floor, try the bicycle move where you move his legs like he is on a bicycle, rocking him back & forwards while he is in a sitting position. I found that I was overfeeding my DS like Cassius2 mentioned, I was basicaly feeding him everytime he cried when he was probably tired but wouldn't sleep on me the little bugger :cryinglaugh: or had wind.

About going to sleep times, I am not sure if you are expecting him to sleep all night & I am just being realistic but from most people I know he won't sleep all night, 3-4 hr stretch is good. My little one still has nights where he wakes every 2 hrs but thankfuly he only takes 5-10 mins to feed now. Sleep when he does (& yes I know that easier said then done)

About being overtired, I always found it hard to know when my DS was tired but basically at his age if you haven't already seen any sleep times you want to put him back to bed after being up for about 40 - 60 mins, 90 mins at the most.

About the choking it sounds like a sign of the let down, as it comes out really fast & they can find it hard to swallow & hits the back of the throat. I wouldn't worry too much my DS still chokes & generally tries to reattach straight away, if it is too bad I sit him up & pat him in the back. So it sounds like you have a good supply.

MOST IMPORTANTLY you sound like you are doing a great job even if it feels like you are on automatic poilot. If you can take some time to just enjoy him, he should be smiling now, cuddle, kiss, sing to him & hold him just for the sake of it not because you are feeding or trying to put him to sleep.
Take things ONE day/sleep/feed at a time. You are learning - as we all are. You are definitely not alone, if you haven't already track down you baby buddies here on the website.

Big :hug: I hope things improve for you soon & I am still fully BF my little bugger 4 mnths down the track & from experience it does honestly get better.

Hi,

I'm sorry to pop in so late - I'm actually at a breastfeeding conference at the moment so am having touble getting to my computer. But, I think it is really important that you see a Lactation Consultant and get this situation assessed and make a plan of action for yourself and your little one-it's too compex to *solve* on a web forum.. You are doing a fabulous job, but it sounds like you are doing it tough! It's no way to start out being a mum. You deserve good support. I will ask around today at the conference and try to find who I can refer you to in NZ and try to get back to you ASAP. In the meantime, maye you could ring the NZ Lactation consultants association or google them. I would suggest that when you have a plan for breastfeeding, many of the other *pieces of the puzzle* will fall into place
Regards
Barb