What is a cocktail reception and how to go about it?

Well.... after three months off we're back to the planning stages but I have no idea where to start. I have so many questions, and honestly no idea. So, expect many questions from me in these forums...

So, firstly, what exactly is a ****tail reception? How do we go about it? What's the average cost per head? I really need step by step guidance as I have no help from family and I'll be doing it by myself... :rolleyes:

Do you think a cocoktail reception is too informal following a church wedding? Does it need a 'theme' per se... Gosh, help!!!! :cryinglaugh:

You need to do what suits you both. A ****tail reception would usually be a standing occassion. Ladies wearing ****tail dress, men in dinner suits, or formal wear. Hot finger food and champagne on offer.
There's some great wedding forums out there, 1 do dot com & wedding central.

I think ****tail receptions are becoming more and more popular - they are a great option and will work fine after a church wedding!
It is a little less formal (not being a sit-down three course doo) but you can still have the formalities of the evening (speeches, etc) basically its up to you!
Cost can vary widely depending on where you go so it pays to do some research.
All the best darl - its very exciting! :)

Well I was thinkiong a ****tail reception would be good, cost wise. I guess being less formal it suits 'us' and as for the church wedding, well ive wanted to get married at this church since I was five, not backing down on it now :rofl:
The thing is I just don't really know where to start. The other thing I was thinking was to hire a hall and get caterers but for the effort involved im sure it would just be easier to do it buffet style at the Sheraton like mum did.

I think ****tail reception is just fine after a church wedding :)
Personally, I'd definitely go with a reception venue. It may end up being a little more per head, but I agree that it'd be heaps less effort for you.

Ashlea,

If you think of all of the venues that are in your area that you think you might like to have your reception at, that are local to the church that you are getting married in, then Goodgle them and see if they have a website. Then hopefully they will have some sample ****tail menus on there with pricing so you can see ballpark figures.

We got married nearly 3 years ago and we did consider hiring a hall and organising catering, but it worked out a LOT more expensive.......all the hire of all the crockerly etc.......nightmare!

I arranged my wedding in Adelaide from Darwin (nightmare!) and I had totally NFI, but we got there in the end, so I empathise!

There is a list of Melbourne venues HERE.

Very best of luck!

Thanks for that Lucy that's really helpful! You're a gem!

We had a simple wedding then a reception in the Novotel in the dining room. They partioned off with plants a section for us and we used the buffet that everyone else was using. It worked out much cheaper for us and i think everyone liked it (Snacks?? Paddywhacks????)

Was lovely, MrsMac !

DH and I met at a ****tail reception - it was an absolute fiasco!! the idea is brilliant, but make sure you do it somewhere with a good reputation!!! the location for this one fired their chef a week before the wedding, and the owners took off without organising someone else!!

after experiencing that, we decided we'd do out wedding differently - still informal, but a hell of a lot better. we rang around to get price per plate for catering at local establishments, found out what was included etc. then we rang a couple of "go anywhere" caterers - and OMG - it cost us half as much getting catered that way (buffet spit roast, four meats, salads, vegies, desserts) than what it would have a ****tail reception! we then shopped around for a location that suited us and chose one of the local football/netball clubs. $150 gave us the venue from friday afternoon til sunday morning, bar staff and clean up included. we got to set up on friday night the way we wanted (all in all cost less than $100 with table centrepieces), alcohol was cheaper than normal bar prices, we were able to get a band etc... and it was a fantastic night

i guess why i've waffled is to encourage you to look at all options that are available to you before deciding - if your heart is set on this particular church, then your reception has to fit around it's availability - and expense wise, it might be just as cheap, if not cheaper, to have a relaxed sit down meal... definitely shop around, compare everything, and then decide on what's best for you and DP.

i guess too, the fact you're not sure of what a ****tail reception is, rings in my head that it might not really be "you", so might not be as enjoyable as you want your wedding day to be, kwim??

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then we rang a couple of "go anywhere" caterers - and OMG - it cost us half as much getting catered that way (buffet spit roast, four meats, salads, vegies, desserts) than what it would have a ****tail reception!

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ive been finding that just from looking at ****tail prices at venues...

My friend had her 21st in a church hall with catering with twice as many guests (she's italian, big family, lol!)as we'll have at our wedding and catering cost half as much as what we'd be looking at for a ****tail reception...

we're not about fancy food, so catering for roast meat and veges would do me fine! plus, i think all the family could do dessert, dessert is easy / ill be having a mudcake not a fruit cake so that could do too.

and from what it looks like so i guess i really had the wrong idea about what a ****tail reception is and if we did it in a hall maybe a better option for the littlies (they will be invited, i love all my little cousins and wouldnt have them miss out for the world, so i think there'll be at least six toddlers).

It's a pity i hate talking on the phone because looks like thats what im going to have to start doing :cryinglaugh:
Thanks for your advice BG because you're sort of channeling whats been going through my head since i started googling.

Totally agree with BG!

Look around for different caterers. I was horrified to see I had to hire plates, forks etc AS WELL as the catering.
Then I found one that did it all, they provided great references and the food was so good they got heaps more work out of it. They also provided bar/wait staff. The price was far, far cheaper than some. Be careful of REALLY cheap though.

With a ****tail reception you gotta be careful. There never, ever, ever seems to be enough food for everyone for a start :rolleyes:.
You will have to think about the time you get married because you cant have people waiting too long in between the ceremony and the reception. You also cant have them starve.

I think a ****tail reception is fine after a church wedding. It is also a more cost effective option compared to a sit down 3 course meal.

We had both at our wedding. Our ceremony was held at sunset and was held on a terrace of a hotel which had amazing views. We didn't want to rush our guests off to the restaurant and miss the sunset so after the ceremony we held a ****tail reception.

The reception included live music, canapes (finger food - lots of it) and plenty of champage. It's a great way for guests to mingle as they will be standing for the majority of it (I would include some seating for those who get sore feet from dancing!). So that it stays formal after the church service, I would write on the invitations "Formal ****tail Reception". This will indicate to guests that the need to wear dresses and suits.

The cost will vary depending on your venue and your caterers. You will probably pay anywhere from $15-$40 per head for the finger food depending on how many guests you have and your chosen selections. Also depending on how many guests you have, your alcohol costs will vary. At functions that I organise for work I usually allow $1000 per 50 people for a 4 hour event so if you use that as a rough guide then you should be ok. That is for beer and wine only. Allow about 10% on top of that just in case you go over.

Happy to help in whatever way I can - this is what I do every day at work as I organise all of the meetings, functions and events!! Plus I'm fresh out of just pulling off my own wedding!

hun, if you want help with suggestions, let me know - i'm not "local" to you - but i'm pretty sure you don't have to be physically local to help out! i found our caterers by "accident", and honestly, it was just through white page searches!

lulu is right - make sure you find a caterer that includes everything - ours did all the main course, basic dessert (fruit salad and pav, as we had mud cup cakes for wedding cake) for $18 per adult, $10 per child over 3 and under 12. They also had girls for serving, collecting all the plates and clean up, EVERYTHING that was left over was put in containers for us (we just had to supply containers and esky to put them in at end of the night), the helped with distributing the wedding cup cakes to everyone, and worked with the bar staff to make sure we were all looked after. once all guests were fed, we asked that they feed themselves and the bar staff as well. our wedding, for 110 people, including all but top shelf drinks (well, we paid for DH, bro and best man, so still a fair whack), cost us $2750 (and $300 of that was a donation to the netball girls that manned the bar as we didn't even go through $1000 in grog for the night - told them to tak\e it as a donation rather than trying to refund what we'd already paid!)

i also think if you do your reception at a more relaxed location (like the hall you mentioned), you can decorate for much less - and exactly how you want. we didn't want to go overboard (country bumpkins at heart here!) so we had a simple table centrepiece, and place cards made to match our invitations - loved it then, and nothing i can think of now that i'd change!!! i made our invites (and loved doing it) - and ended up making invites for two other weddings cos people were so impressed with them!

A friend of mine hired my DD and a few of her friends (they were 15) to "waitress" which kept costs down too, she just gave them $50 at the end each.
Spit roasts are very economical you'll find too. We did our Yr 6 farewell for about $15 a head which was 2 courses and a bread roll.

Thanks for all your help, it's all greatly appreciated!! I had a look in the phone book last night for ideas and found a franchise catering company that might be okay, but im not sure, might have to post about them. Anyway, it's less than $30 a head for the wedding banquet pack, they bring all the stuff with them, they help clean up, provide the waiters etc... Just worried that if they're a franchise they might not be that reputable? I dont know. Anyway its a spit one, and they give you choice of three meats and then seven salad/vege choices, four desserts, tea & coffee. They'll help with the cake and you can keep the leftovers. Sounds perfect... now what... :lol:

Just a thought - some venues have caterers that are exclusive to them - i.e. if you book that particular venue then you have to go with their caterers. It's worth asking when you decide on a venue.

Ask them for references hun, it should not be a problem.

FWIW, I found hiring a hall was the best thing ever. I had a band (much cheaper that you think) and they wouldnt attend if the venue was a reception centre. Apparently there are lots of rules on the setup times etc. We could let them come in whenever they felt like it...

Amysarah I'll be booking a hall and not a 'venue' ;) At this stage it'll be the local one less than 200m away and from what I know about it already it should all be fine. Thanks though!

Thanks for the feedback Lulu, good to know that it *should* hopefully be less hassles this way.

I went to a ****tail reception last year. The wedding was in the church, then the bridal party disappeared for a few hours to get the photos done, then the reception was at the bride's parent's place (they'd won a prize home so it was a s**** house), they had the caterers at the house getting all the finger food organised while the ceremony was going on. Don't know what a lot of the guests did between the ceremony & the reception (coz I'm considered a member of the family I got to go to the house just after the ceremony).

The nibbles were a mix of hot and cold, with the caterers bringing around the food for a few hours. Still did the "traditional" stuff, like the introduction of the bridal party, bride & groom, speaches & cake. It was ****tail dress, which was great to dress up for.

We did the spit roast thing (bridal package) for our wedding at my brother's house. It was pretty good, funny thing is my brother did a trial run with them for his 60th a few months earlier (same venue) and that was better than the food they served for the bridal package.

Well i think everyone has given you pretty good advice so far. Catering is what i do for a job, its a family business and we specialize in weddings so if you would like to no anything particluar just pm me. As we are in the country pricing maybe a little cheaper here than Melbourne but we do alot of ****tail weddings but buffet type weddings are the most popular. ****tail weddings can be a little more expensive as there is a lot of work preparing the food, and usually the alcohol bill is alot more expensive as people seem to drink more at a ****tail wedding not sure why. We do alot of weddings where people want to keep the cost down and they usually choose to have light finger food when guests arrive then have a sit down buffet with the wedding cake (usually mud cake) as dessert served with cream and coulee. You dont need the traditional 3 course meal anymore. With having a buffet rather than a service to the table meal caterers can do it cheaper as they dont need staff for a long period of time, usually only for few hours to clear tables and clean up. Hope this helps a bit. Good luck

How fun Ash! ****tail receptions are fun, the last one I went to was in a winery with a jazz band.
Lulu's right though, I could have done with some more food. :P Still, it's very fun and glamourous.

How formal do you want it? Given my time again, I reckon I might do a picnic...that's just me though. :P

might be a bit far out for you - but have you considered your local "ethnic" clubs?

At most of these places you can get decent food (no one will go hungry!) plenty of alcohol (most of us ethnics like it ALOT ;) ) and a dj thrown in for a really good price. Or (as we are doing) we are loading up our laptop with hours of tunes :)

Thats what we are doing with ours - well, actually we are getting married in september this year and will have the reception next year - mummy (me) wants to party too!!!!

I'd love a picnic, honestly - that's very ashlea like - but you just can't count on the weather, so now we're going to do a spitroast type thing. It's also very us - when friends come and visit ash n ant we have a roast, and mudcake - or when ashlea had easter at her place, there was a roast, and three million desserts... i think it just "suits". I didn't really know what a ****tail party was but it's definitely not for us... :lol:

thanks for the info abb34!! thats really helpful, will keep you in mind for when i need to quiz someone!

ETA: Kitt3n there's not really much around here or it might have worked for us. I'll probably be doing the tunes as well, although im wondering if our alternative taste is going to be too much for a wedding :lol: I like the thought of a semi-punk themed wedding but i just can't part with classy either ;)
Love the idea for the mummy partying, good one!!

ash, maybe check out local cover bands - if you get a decent band, they'll play music that is suitable for the oldies earlier in the night, and move to more "ash n ant" stuff later...

lol - aj when we start putting together our music list its going to have everything from Tom Jones to nine inch nails to lamb to rod stewart to aphex twin. Bit of Mozart while we eat.

we have such a diverse family/friend network that there will be tumes for everyone - and i am sure some people will just walk out of the room for some! I dont care!!

Its going to be the party of all parties :)

Are you sure you dont have anything around? A greek/russian/jugoslav/polish club?

We did a wedding not long ago that had all there music on an ipod play through the pa system, but what they did was when they sent out the invites they had an extra piece of paper for you to request 2 songs to be played at the reception, so they had music for everyone, paper was attached to the rsvp so they recieved music in plenty of time before reception. Worked really well.

abb that is an awesome idea, so going to use that!!!!

our bonbonierre (sp??!!) is going to be a double CD of music from the night

Kitt3n -Well the requests will be an awesome idea then your guests will really feel apart of your celebration.

Oh I really like that idea, really, really like it!

Glad i could help, will have a think about anything else you can use. Have done over 100 weddings now and some ideas are fab, but you learn alot more of what not to do. Alcohol can put a major damper on some weddings if not controlled properly and guests can get out of hand if they have drank too much and not eaten enough so i suggest you have food served early on in reception as it will not only fill there bellys but will keep your alcohol bill down.

abb - df's family is polish . mine is serbian.

nothing will keep the alcohol bill down!

Oh, that part I didn't mention... i doubt we'll do alcohol. Apart from champagne of course, not sure what else. We're looking to have it cheap and I don't see the necessity for alcohol at a wedding. Maybe I'm weird anyway, it depends how many people come and how the rest of it goes ot budget, but at this rate there'll only be champagne for toasts.

It is a personal choice and your day so go with what you want. You can also go with guests pay for ther own alcohol.

Kitt3n lol good luck then

OMG, really?
As long as you are not serving spirits, it wont be too much to do beer and wine. Red, white, light and heavy beers.

You can get cleanskin wines from some bottleshops and its cheaper without having to serve metho. I got a DIVINE local Champers cleanskin and we printed our own labels. It looked great.

P.S Im tipping you guys aren't Irish...

We're undecided. I'd be happy to do beer and wine but with spirits then it gets too much, i think, i don't know. My friends 21st that had 120 guests (big italian family) spent $1500 on alcohol and still had more than half left over, so when I look at it like that it's probably not too much more to include.
I need to make myself a new folder with a bunch of maybe yes no heaps of things in it. Im feeling overwhelmed already! :rofl:

ETA: lol no not irish... but have not inviting many drinkers... of the sixty so far on our guest list almost half are family that wont drink, ten kids... when i look at it that way providing alcohol doesnt look like a big deal. Thanks for making me think :rofl:

Ash, not sure on what you've booked already in regards to the church... but I can tell you what I did and it was just perfect for us ;)

We had a champagne breakfast for our wedding - we had it at a golf resort in the vineyards.

Because we had it on a Sunday morning (traditional good luck for Sicilian families, DH is Sicilian) - and because it was breakfast, the price per head was almost a third of what the price would've been at the same venue for a lunch/dinner package on a Sat night.

The breakfast was a buffet inside a marquee - and it was very cruisy & relaxed, so it was no hassle having kids there.. we have a lot of kids in our family!

We had bacon, eggs, sausages, pastries, crossaints, fruit, cereals, pancakes, etc - your typical continental breakfast.

We had champagne & orange juice, soft drink - one type each of red and white wine, and one type of beer.

Our alcohol bill was pretty minimal - the reception started approx 10am (service was at 9am) - and it was finished by 1pm.

We had a 4 piece jazz band that just played stuff like Frank Sinatra, Harry Connick Jr, Michael Buble, etc while we ate - and they did a few requests after the speeches etc were over.

Afterwards we all went back to our rooms, got changed and spent the afternoon by the pool ;)

If you look in my gallery, theres some photos to give you an idea of what it looked like - classy, but as formal/informal as the guests wanted it - most people wore ****tail dresses, some were alittle more casual - it was easy and everything worked as far as the informality & dress code because it was the morning :)

It also suited us perfectly as it was my 2nd wedding - and DH is really shy, so the less formal the better ;)

PM me if you want to know anymore - It was only January this year, so everything is still really fresh in my mind :D

Your wedding looked beautiful in the photos Holly, what a great idea to have breakfast- thats my favourite meal!!

Ash, if you have number to go on (when you have them), the cellars should be able to give a breakdown of how much you will actually need. Like I said for beer and wine it wont be too much. Just dont serve metho and you will be fine.

BBL, putting tackers to bed

Also we got our alcohol through the greysonline auction website where you can get wine and champagne etc by the case. With beer we grabbed a case or two a fortnight for a couple of months before the wedding and just stashed it in the garage. Oh and for the champagne and wine glasses you can hire them from Ritchies for free (you just pay a bond and any breakages - we broke one in the dishwasher) Didn't seem like any expense that way for either the beer or glasses. All up we would have spent about $500 tops on alcohol and had a choice of 2 whites, a red, different beers and both white and pink champagne. and we had heaps left over (still have stuff in the garage!!).

I also found the catering website that we used if it helps to give you an idea. these people were awesome and unlike most ****tail parties where you never feel quite satisfied everyone said they were stuffed at the end of the night. They also do buffet style catering as well.
If you google eatathome it should come up.