Can i request a growth scan **warning post may upset**

This pregnancy has been quite hard on me to say the least. I have had a few ups and downs in life, and one of them being the inability to quit smoking.

Before you judge me and think how horrid i am i have really tried to quit. NRT, books, therapy etc. you name it i have done it so please dont think i dont love my baby or that i take this lightly at all. I have cut down to about 10-15 a day from 25-30

But i have been riddled with paranoia (and so i should be i guess) with this pregnancy that he is extremely undersized. I am alot smaller i think then i was with my first son, he was born 8 pounds 11.

My question is, i have about 6 weeks until my due date. If i let them section me (still debating this one) then maybe only 5 weeks. I really need to enjoy the rest of this pregnancy as i have just been depressed and devastated with myself. Can i go to my GP and request a growth scan? just to put my mind at ease a little bit??

Please no judgement, i am already fragile as it is. Just constructive advice.

TIA

:hug: huni,
i dont think your a bad person (i smoke myself). i myself have got no children but my sister who smoked all through her pregnancy's does (15-20) a day, she tried her best to quit but like you couldnt and she gave birth to 2 healthy children my nephew was born 6lb 5oz and my neice was born and my neice was 5lb 14oz (she was 3 days early and by c-sect and had a lot of fluid round her (she is now a chubby happy 1 yr old). sorry to babble what i was meaning to say is she smoked through both and where both healthy weights.
try and not worry huni :hug:
sorry that i cant answer about the scan but im sure some the wonderful ladies here will be able to help.
take care and enjoy your bubba.
rach xxxxxx
you are going to a fantastic mummy :bellyrubs:

even those weights scare me a little bit... i am just used to birthing a bit of a biggun

hey there,

dont stress - when i was preg with DD i was so stressed about quitting that my doctor told me the stress i was putting myself through was actually worse for the baby than what the smoking would do!

so he told me to have 3-5 a day. and i did.

My dd was 8pound 1 and perfectly healthy.

Ask for a growth scan - stressing about it will do more harm than good, i cant see your doc refusing you!

Just ask you GP for a referral for an ultrasound. I doubt they will refuse. Please be aware that ultrasounds are not perfect when it comes to calculating size but it should be able to confirm bubs is healthy. That should ease your mind.

BTW, I don't smoke and my DS was 4.3kg born. From every appointment from 18 weeks, the standard comment was "geez, your having a big one". This was not what a first time mum wanted or needed to hear. With this one (due in 2 weeks), I am a lot smaller and some comments have been "geez, this will be a small baby". Smoking may affect the growth of bubs but if you have done everything else to ensure a healthy bubs, then you have done your very best. Please try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

It is obvious you love this baby and will be a great mum. Good luck.

Hi hun,
It is so hard, I know where you're coming from. With my second I too smoked throughout my pregnancy and gave birth at 38wks to my DS who wighed 7lb4oz. My DD weighed 5lb9oz and by then I had quit smoking. My other DD was 6lb13oz and I didn't smoke with her either.
I know the guilt you are feeling but remember you tried your best and at least you have cut down.

Regards,
Dianne

Of course you can request one. The doctor of course can refuse it, but they might just agree to it. Be aware though that a scan could bring more worries (as my growth scan at 32 weeks did, for no reason at all as it turns out).

If it's the size of your bump that's concerning you (and I'm guessing that it is) try not to stress about it. I never got that big with my pregnancy - late in the 2nd tri some work colleagues didn't even know I was pregnant and in the third tri I had a number of people comment on how small my bump was. My baby was 7lb 13 ounces at birth so was not small.

It could be that you just aren't putting on any fat weight and be like me and within 1 week of the birth only have 2.5 kgs to lose to get back to your pre pregnancy weight.

I am jsut scared of having him. And hearing the weight and thinking F**K I DID THIS scuse the language but thats how i feel. At least if i have a growth scan even if its wrong, my maternal mental health will/might be a bit better..

Yep my weight gain with this one is minimal compared to DS, with b i put on 30 kilos, 12 being in the first tri.

With this one i am sitting on 15ish in total.

Thank you all for being so kind and gentle with your words... i feared posting because the last thing i want is to be thought of as a druggie that doesnt care about her kids :(:(

I would go ask for a scan, as others have said the stress is possibly worse for your bubba at the moment.

30 years ago women were allowed to smoke in the delivery room.
yes there are associated risks, but there is probably something that we are all doing now that in 10 years time will be discovered to be sooooo bad.

Smoking is one of the hardest addictions to crack.

One thing thou, what are you going to do if you have the scan and it shows a smaller sized bubba? will it make the next few week worse for you?

:hug:

i think either way, i will have a chance to get my head around it and prepare for it.

Dont they say the average baby is about 6.5 pounds anyway?

Maybe you shouldnt focus on the weight so much...

If your bubba is healthy thats all that matters. As others have said, babies are often born underweight and do fine... as long as there are 10 fingers and toes and everything works as it should you should be happy :)

Thats the thing, i have good faith that the health of bub is fine :) i am not too stressed about that.

you really just raised a very good point there! why am i focused on the weight? shouldnt the overall outcome be the most important. I think that i am focusing on that because thats a pretty direct sign that i have done this to my little child....

Yep, i understand - but you cant take it back or change it can you, so you will just beat yourself up and do more harm than good iykwim.

If you feel guilty, try to quit at a time that is right for you, not because you have too. Thats why you have probably failed. use your children as encourangement not the reason you have to quit as it probably isnt the right one for you.

Take care of yourself and try not to worry :)

:hug: I would go ask for a scan if you are worried.

:hug: try not to stress - I know it's hard not too. I smoked and tried like you to give up. The more I tried, the worse and harder it was! I felt sooo guilty and would cry and beat myself up so bad. My first was 7lb and second was 5lb 12. Both of them were healthy which was the main thing. I have since given up though. I hope that it all goes well for you.

Sweetie please don't think the worst of yourself.. I have no doubt in my mind that you are a loving/caring mother to your children (especially the one still growing inside you)

I have been paranoid about the growth of my bubby too... This is my first child/pregnancy (thats lasted more than 10 weeks anyway) and I have had high blood pressure since 14 weeks, 3 bleeds at different stages and now have Pre-Eclampsia... So I by no means have had an "easy" pregnancy.

I have requested many ultrasounds to check his growth, Have never been refused and even if they did refuse I would have pushed until I got the referal.

The amount of ease I got from seeing his size and for them telling me that he was "on target" or now... "Bigger than average" is overwhelming!

Please do PUSH for an ultrasound! It will make you feel a little better at least. But please do remember that their measurements/ weight estimates are just that... ESTIMATES

Keep your chin up.. Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy

xox

I cant understand why on earth they would refuse you anyway hun.

Like others have said, dotn focus on the weight, 10 fingers and 10 toes. You will never know if not smoking would have made an ounce of difference so there is no point bashing youself up over it :hug:

i odnt really think that when you smoke it does alot of harm to your baby, im a smoker and have been for around 7 years now, i tried to quit and i mean did everything, but i just couldnt, i was worried that my baby may be smaller or come early, but i have done every test they could give me and he is perfectly healthy and even growing bigger and bigger every day, and i have also been warned that he will be a big boy as he is measuring 6cm bigger than he is supposed.

Dont worry to much about it, i think you and your bub should be fine

There is every chance that this baby could have been smaller anyway and nothing to do with the smoking hun. It is a very real concern that you have and I think that you should go and get the scan just for peace of mind if nothing else. Be aware though that the size guesstimate can be way off, but I would ask for them to check the placental function as this is what is nurturing your baby.

And not all smokers have small babies - my mum smoked with all of us and her smallest baby was her second bub at 8lb and he was 4wks early - the rest of us ranged from 8lb 13 up to 10lb 14 (there were 5 of us), small consolation I know when you are struggling with giving up. Good luck, I'm sure your baby will be fine.

I'm not a smoker and never have been so i dont understand what your going through but atleast you care enough to try and quit and you've cut down, thats still better than nothing and more than alot of preg mums do.
I'm proud of you for cutting down and trying, don't beat yourself up over it, lots of ppl (my whole family included) smoke and they still have healthy babies. All 3 of my sisters smoked throughout both of their pregnancies and they all had healthy babies, and unlike you they didnt make the effort to cut down or quit.
Push for your u/s, what matters most is what you want, its your pregnancy, your body and your baby.
Good luck sweetie and all the best :)

hey ,

hope that you are doing ok and that you have a scan booked..

Would love to catch up with you soon, my little man is sick at the moment so hopefully at the end of the week or something?? ill send you a PM soon

xo Anna

Dont stress sweetie, Like others have said my doctor told me that the stressing about smoking will do more harm. I managed to kick the habit, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever done :(
Don't be to hard on your self, your doing the best you can xxx :hug:

Thanks everyone.

Anna, would love to catch up. Was extremely nervous about posting this incase some "real life" peopl thought terribley of me. I just want a beautiful healthy baby. I am so freaked out that he will be taken away because he cant breath. Or taken because he is too small.... I wake up every morning in tears. I have pre existing PND which doesnt help either, and off all my meds for that.

I am feeling a bit better, and trying to concentrate on having the last few weeks of this pregnancy as happy times. As more then likely its my last. Its only my last because i couldnt handle this emotion again..

Again thank you all for your gentle kind words. I am a good person really

Mummatotwo - this might be what you want to read...but...

To address smoking - it is as addictive as heroin, with none of the associated help and support and recognition of the strength of the addiction that heroin users get. In most cases smoking at the level you do, in a healthy woman without other issues, will result in nothing much. If a woman has very high BP, doesn't eat well, doesn't have access to medical care, yes, it can be a concern. But your doctor isn't worried and you have said yourself you feel bubs is healthy.

From what you've said about your fears, that on the one hand you feel in fact bubs is healthy but on the other you really fear that the smoking will mean he is small/ill...well, i don't think this is about smoking.

I think this is about you doubting yourself as a mother, and i think THAT is to do with the PND and perhaps related anxiety about that, and i think you have pinned a bunch of these fears onto "smoking" because it is the easiest thing to point your finger at and criticise yourself. If you didn't smoke depression would force you to find another "reason" to believe you're not a good mother.

IN FACT thousands of women who smoke have had healthy babies every day for the last 100 years. IN FACT your intuition tells you the wriggler is fine in there and healthy. IN FACT you need to recognise what an awesome mother you are NOW, HERE and NOW, and realise that Wriggler is coming into a loving family that Fate/God chose for him for a REASON.

Look at everything you have been through. Look at it all. From your first birth, through your PND, all the way this long journey. Acknowledge the hardship and the pain and the struggles you have faced and worked through on the road. Acknowledge how difficult all of this has been for you. And THEN acknowledge that despite everything you have been through you have a beautiful (and how! LOOK at the ticker pic!), healthy son who is LOVED and CHERISHED and thriving. Wriggler will be no different hun. In the WORST situations you have been the BEST mother you could be.

Please don't listen to the voice of PND, depression in its many forms can be so malicious in eroding confidence. You came here afraid of criticism because you so not see how incredibly much you don't deserve any. You fret and worry about the baby and cite smoking because depression makes you doubt your abilities and strengths.

But it is not the truth. The truth is that whatever the nasty voice of depression says, whatever seeds of doubt it plants in your thoughts, in your WORST days you have made a better parent than many who face NOTHING LIKE what you have been through make. The truth is that your wriggler is a lucky boy, and i'll bet he knows it.

By all means get the scan if you think it will shut those nasty doubts up, but what i'd do if i were you is pick DS up in your arms (if you still can, all full of baby :)) and go look in a mirror at the strong mother you have been and are, and will be, and try telling the doubting taunts of depression to shut up. Your babies chose you for a reason. They are not stupid, they chose wisely. A good mother is not one who acts perfectly, but one who LOVES purely. And you do. You know you do. :hug:

Loves

Bx

Damn hoobley you have reduced me to tears. What wise words you speak.
I have started reading buddhism for mothers to try and take a calmer approach and a gentler more loving relationship with myself.
Thank you. And i think you are right.
xox

Hey Mummatotwo. Well what can I say after Hoobley's advice!!

I do want to tell you that all my measurements with DD2 were smaller than with DD1. I had a really high stress pregnancy - money issues, serious relationship issues & heaps of other things.
My gp said to expect a smaller baby. I stressed even more after that, but it did make me stop stressing about everything else, so I think I was a bit better off.
Anyway...
DD1 was 7lb 5oz.
DD2 was wait for it - 8lb 9oz!
They were both born a week over due & were the same length & head circ, but DD2 was chubby!
So don't STRESS!!!!!!

Hi, i thought i would jsut update.

Well, i had my 34 week check up and i decided NOT to ask for one, i still have time to change my mind, but i am trying to think to myself - really - what will it acheive? It wont actually change anything, in fact it could make me stress even more... so i will wait it out for a couple of weeks and see how i feel then. Thank you all again, i know i keep saying thank you, but i really put myself out there and i appreciate all the advice that you have ALL given me

much love

:hug: Take care of yourself and try not to worry about it.
Enjoy your last few weeks as it is going to be busy in your house soon :)

Hey Mumma

I know the stress you are going through, as i haven't been able to beat the cigarettes either :doh: It's a terrible habit to break unfortunatelly.

I had an ultra sound done last monday and the lady estimated my baby to be approximately 2.9kilo's already (i am not sure what that is in pounds etc) but i know my son was 3kg at birth and he was born 3 week's early by c-section. This baby will also be by c-section. I have 3 week's to go today (tuesday 5th august) as they are giving me the c-section at 38 week's.

I can understand your concern, and you do what you feel is right for you and to ease your mind, i am sure they wouldn't mind giving you another scan, it's your choice.

I cried a little reading Hoobley's post... I think she's spot on. You're a great mum, don't doubt yourself.

I have two close friends who smoke (pack per day) and they both give birth to healthy sized babies. One has two sons and both were 9 pounds. The other has had 2 just under 6 pounds and with number 3 was expecting the same size but no, he was born 9lb 3oz. I will add that friend number 2 is 4ft 9in high so she was used to having small babies and it was expected but surprise... huge baby number 3.

Best of luck for the rest of your pregnancy mummatotwo.

well i ended up asking my GP for one at my 35 week appointment and he said no.
I am all stressed out again about it today, and having trouble staying up beat.
I have a midwife appointment on monday, so i will talk to them then.

You'll be fine. Please don't stress. You are nearly at 36 weeks, so even if bub was born now, s/he should be fine! There is only 4 or so weeks to go & your beautiful baby will be here.
Try to take your mind off it.
Is your bag packed?
Have you got everything in there you need?
Have you got everything for bub's you need?
Spend some extra time with your DS before bubs gets here. Take him to the park or something.

I know you have been worried about your bump size hun then get the scan put your mind at ease I think the fact you are trying to cut back and we know you care :hug: I dont smoke so i can only guess how hard it is to try and quit

Ild say your baby will be fine and a nice weight I was smallest on my 3rd baby and he was 8 pounds 6 as you know I have big babies as well so know what you mean on 5 to 6 pounds I think I would be so nervous with a baby that small

try not to stress so much my mam smoked with all her pregnancys and Im ok Im small in height but i put that down to genes lol

hope your feeling better that baby of yours could be doing a nice job of hiding inside you :):hug:

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I'm just back to give you more squeezes (love hugging bumpish ladies ;)) and remind you that you, your body, is the BEST place for your baby to be. Tell depression from me to SHUT IT! Your body is nurturing your baby, which you love. Your baby is only about 7 inches from your strongly beating heart and can hear and feel that thumping beat of your love every second or so. Take deep breaths. Have faith in you, your baby does. Not for no reason hun!

Loves

Bx

Darn it Hoobley, please stop making me cry. You say such the nicest things in a very poetic way!!

Mumma, you are a wonderful mummy and this child knows it. It knows you have done the absolute best you can to nurture him or her and bring them safely into this world. Nothing you can do will change that.

As long as the heartbeat is strong and you are getting some nice movements then please focus on that rather than the size. You will be meeting you bundle of joy in a few weeks and focus on the awe and love you will feel when you finally get to see and touch such a precious bundle.

Good luck!!!!

:

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:hug: :hug: :hug:

I'm just back to give you more squeezes (love hugging bumpish ladies ;)) and remind you that you, your body, is the BEST place for your baby to be. Tell depression from me to SHUT IT! Your body is nurturing your baby, which you love. Your baby is only about 7 inches from your strongly beating heart and can hear and feel that thumping beat of your love every second or so. Take deep breaths. Have faith in you, your baby does. Not for no reason hun!

Loves

Bx

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Darn it Hoobley, please stop making me cry. You say such the nicest things in a very poetic way!!

Mumma, you are a wonderful mummy and this child knows it. It knows you have done the absolute best you can to nurture him or her and bring them safely into this world. Nothing you can do will change that.

As long as the heartbeat is strong and you are getting some nice movements then please focus on that rather than the size. You will be meeting you bundle of joy in a few weeks and focus on the awe and love you will feel when you finally get to see and touch such a precious bundle.

Good luck!!!!

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:hug::cryinglaugh::grouphug:
i justlove that i have found this site

I just wanted to say that we are all our own worst critic. Be forgiving of yourself and gentle on yourself. Just remembering you're human and you're doing your best which is most important. As a mother it's so damn easy to feel guilty about EVERYTHING, but it's important to give ourselves some credit.
Just seeing how everyone has reacted, shows that we are caring to others, and I think sometimes we just need to be that caring to ourselves. xoxoxo