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I have recently decided to have a repeat c/s instead of try for VBAC after much consideration & research into the options available.
I was wondering if there is anyone else who has come to this conclusion now or previously who would like to chat about reasons etc. I have found alot of support on this forum for those choosing to try for VBAC but not much for those going the other way.
hope to make contact soon.
Jess
Hi Jess,
At the moment i'm not in the same situation as you i have only juat had my first bub, but after having a c/s for him it has made me think about the next bub and how i will birth my next child, like you i am swaying more towards the repeat c/s, obviously it would be such a shame to not know what it is like to have a vb but just the thought of the scar rupturing scares the hell out of me :o. (I'm a big scardy cat)
But already i know what you mean by the some what lack of support, even from family and friends, when i have mentioned the possibility of having a c/s for the next one, most people have said to me just wait and see what happens, they wont even really discuss it with me. But even though i have only just had my first child, if i do decide to def have a c/s with the next one then there will be some organising i need to do to prepare my self (physically and emotionally) for what will be waiting ahead and also the recovery..etc (and i know this will take a while for me to be in the right frame of mind)
I would be interested to know what it is that has swayed you towards the repeat c/s.. I haven't researched the different options thoroughly but i have had a quick look at some of the pro's and con's...
:hug: - Sarah
I had an elective c/s with DS for a few reasons and have not for 1 minute regretted it. I do not feel less of a bond, less of a women, we had no trouble breastfeeding (he had his first feed within the first hour and is still going at 13 months). Recovery was easier than with DD.
It also made organinising DD and DSC and DH's work much easier, and visitors (we live 2 hrs away from my family).
I know what you mean about BB being very pro VBACS which is great if it is right for you but there is also support for you if it is not.
Best of luck!!!!
Jessica, I am sure you will find that everyone here will support you in your decision. It is your decision and we totally respect that. There are lots of discussions about VBAC, because it's usually those choosing to try for a VBAC who feel the lack of support. There is also a lot of misinformation about VBAC, and we want women to be able to make informed decisions. Believing that a c/s is safer than a VBAC in all situations is not making an informed decision because it's not true. But if you are making an informed decision (which you seem to be) and you are totally at peace with it, good for you. I wish you all the very best and I commend you for seeking information and owning your choices. And I wish you all the very best.
Good for you on deciding how you want to birth after thinking and researching and going for it! I can't think of anyone who would tell you off for that.
If I'd have had a section with DS and still had a uterus then I'd be having a repeat section because I couldn't cope with that again. But because I only just avoided it (and the hysterectomy at the same time) I'm not going to even think about a hospital, because I cannot cope with that again.
Im in the process of working out whether to cs#2 or vbac.
Im going with the intention of vbac at this stage.
I think I can understand why with your next one you are feeling towards a cs#2.
My DS was elective and (I have never laboured ) and the experience was all good and fine for me. I thought for a number of years that I might just c.s next time round but now that im here Im not so sure. Theres lots of research and mental and physical prep I feel I need to do for a vbac and then theres still no guarantee I wont have another c.s anyway.
That stresses me out and upsets me - not because I miss out on a vaginal birth, but because its hard work preparing for having a baby, and even harder when you have to chuck a previous c.s (with no labour experience ) into it.
I have friends who have birthed vaginally with some absolute horror stories, but I still want to see if I can deliver vaginally.
I have family members who have opted for cs#2 and 3 & 4 & even 5!!!. It went good for all of them.
Augh, its tough isnt it? Trying to figure it all out and do what you believe is best and dealing with fear. Well thats how I feel anyhow.
I know there are other woman on this site who have choosen to have a repeat c.s, so dont worry, Im sure you`ll find support here if thats what you choose to do. Even if its not to everyones liking, they are not you and you need to choose whats right for you at this stage in your life.
Ultimatly we should be supporting each other in childbearing whatever the way its done.
It sounds like you have made a decision to have a repeat C/S, which is great and I'm sure you'll be able to plan an experience that suits your needs. By all means, own your decision and be happy with the path that you have chosen, but don't do other women a disservice by promoting fallacies and fear-mongering about VBAC. The balance of evidence is in VBAC's favour. I wish you well.
I had an emergency c/s with my first child and was devastated that i couldnt have him natually and i had post natal depression for a few weeks after his birth but i got over it and all was good. Then i was undecided all the way up to my due date with my second. I couldnt get my head around trying for a vbac or just going for another c/s. I didnt want to go through all that again. Plus i couldnt bear the thought of not being able to pick my boy up if i had another c/s as he would only be 23 months and wouldnt understand that i couldnt pick him up. I ended up trying vbac but again failed to progress and i was happy to go for another c/s this time round. I never got post natal depression this time but it broke my heart everytime my boy fell over and hurt himself and i couldnt pick him up as he is a mummas boy..lol.. But i think as i want one more child i will just go for an elective c/s as i know once everything was done i had all the support i could ask for.
My DD was a CS due to breech. With my DS I chose to go the Elective CS route after lots of indecision the whole way through my pregnancy, and I never had the burning desire to give birth vaginally.
I had pretty much decided by the 34 week mark that I would have a CS and was booked in at 39 + 5 weeks. I did however say to my ob that if I went into labour before my CS date I would have a go at VBAC.
Two weeks before my CS date we had a tradgety in the family and it made my decision all the more easier to go with the CS.
I knew what was going to happen, I could plan for my daughter as our family was 4 hours away, and as far as I was concerned, there would be no suprises and no undue stress.
As it turned out the cord was wrapped around DS neck twice so he probably would have went into distress anyway.
I have never regretted my decision regarding either of my CS, because at that time they were the right decisions for me and my family. I had very positive experiences for both CS, but having said that I will be planning a VBA2C for my next baby because I know if I don't try at least once to labour and have a vaginal birth, I will wonder later on in life. I still don't have the burning desire that some women do but I would like the experience so that later on I can draw back on it and give advice to my DD when the time comes. But that's just me and my personal choice.
You do whats right for you and your family. As I have said, I have never regretted choosing a repeat CS.
I have just had 1st baby via emerg cs due to induction for pre eclampsia and then baby was posterior and head was deflexed and i obstructed at 9cm baby had a 38cm head also and i have allready said next time willl have elcetive cs. Some friends have not been supportive and being a midwife i am all for vbac depending on mums wishes and why they had 1st cs but in my case i gave it a 14 hr go and do not want to go there again and still have chance of the same happening again.
good luck and people r always here to support you
Thank you to everyone who has commented on my post, i am overwhelmed that so many of you are supportive. Yes it has been a long road to come to this decision but the main reasons i have are as follows;
* I had a traumatic time with my first pregnancy & birth
* I like to know what is going to happen & when
* I have experienced c/s so know exactly what to expect
* I recovered very well after the initial pain wore off (it was terrible at the time)
* I don't want to have a difficult labour & risk tearing etc
* I don't want to end up with an emergency c/s
* I don't want to go through labour with continuous monitoring (which my ob would organise)
* I trust my ob (much to the dismay of others on some threads) & his experience
* I don't want to risk a uterine scar rupture (even if the risk is low it does happen)
* I am scared about medical interventions such as vacuum suction
* Last but not least, I prefer a planned c/s for the birth of my baby because I am more comfortable with that & I don't care what others think!!!
To MantaRay, I don't remember saying that i think c/s is safer in all circumstances than VBAC, did I?
I am only talking about my decision & that it is the best for ME. I am not commenting on the safety of either way for other women, just what I have decided based on advice from my ob, husband & family.
Samantha, I have started this thread to get support for my decision. Please don't take that away from me by being negative. I'm not talking about evidence for or against anything, just what i have decided.:
The decision between a VBAC and a caesarean is a highly emotive one, and often leads to heated debates. Jessica asked for support in her decision to have a caesarean, and this is the Caesarean Section Support forum. Please ensure your posts in this thread are supportive.
And Jess - Mantaray was simply explaining why, as you put it, you have found lots of support for VBAC and less so for those choosing to have a caesarean. She wasn't being critical of your choice, and she wasn't suggesting that you thought that VBAC was better in all situations - she was speaking hypothetically. As you will recall, she posted:
:
Lets all stay civil in this thread, shall we?
I do wish you well, Jessica, I'm sure I said that in my post. Do you think you could go and edit out the misinformation and unsupportive commnets in the VBAC support threads perhaps?
This thread was started for support for a decision that has already been made. It is not necessary in this particular thread in the CAESAREAN SUPPORT section to discuss VBAC when the poster was asking for support for a decision already finalised. It is not necessary to tell the poster about the research as she has already stated she has researched before coming to her decision of a repeat c/s. Please keep it out of this thread or posts will be deleted. If anyone has an issue with this, please contact me via PM or email me at my username @bellybelly.com.au
you just have to do what is best for YOU. if the end result is a healthy bub and a non-traumatised mum, then i believe that's a good result.
my story in brief: in 1988 i had twins, 6.5 pounds and 7.5 pounds, induced 10 days early under recommendation from my OB because my son was transverse breech. he had a c/s team standing by. after delivering my daughter he rushed me and i ended up with a c/s anyway. i reacted badly to the trauma, took years to debrief, and decided to have a fully supervised homebirth with my younger daughter, after careful consideration. i was 27 and robust, and i knew i could deliver a normal weight baby vaginally. that fact clinched my decision.
however, while i chose VBAC, i do believe that every mother knows her own body best, and i fully support your decision to go c/s again. what is best for you personally will be best for your baby.
Hi Jess,
I had an emergency caesar first time round due to foetal distress. When I became pregnant the second time round four years later I was encouraged by the obstetrician (public hospital) to have a repeat caesar as, among other reasons, my baby was looking like another big one (the first was 9 pounds 2 ounces).
Whilst a VBAC would have been an option if I'd been determined to go down that path, I chose a caesar for many of the same reasons as you've outlined - I didn't want to go through hours of labour only to end up in surgery again. Also, I had limited support available to look after my other child and it really helped to be able to plan for his care.
On the day, the experience for my partner and I was wonderful, if a little surreal - getting up in the morning and thinking "I'm going to have my baby today".
I do sometimes wonder how things might have been if I'd made a different decision, but both my boys are healthy and happy, and like others have said, that's all that matters in the end. For some reason people feel free to question our judgement as parents - but stick to your decision Jess and do what you feel is right for you and your family.
Good luck
Gab
HI Gab, Thank you for sharing your experience.
That's great to know that you had a wonderful birth & you don't regret your decision.
I really want to enjoy this birth as well, as much as possible because last time was so stressful. I had already been in hospital for a while before the c/s so, although it was planned I didn't know what I was in for IFKWIM.
Just wondering, was your baby as big as they predicted? And also, how close to 40 wks were you when you had the baby? I'm not sure yet when the ob wants to deliver.
I understand about it being more convenient as well, just knowing the day for the birth will be so much easier than waiting to go into labor (unless it happens earlier). Which is another question, did you think about what you would do if you went into labor early?
talk soon
Hi Jessica
Yes i felt abit the same way im still very undecided, mine not being a vbac as i had a vb last time (but v. bad tear) but i have been advised by 3 different obs now to have a CS.
I found a great lack of support on the web, and alot of people with very very strong view points, that almost border on being abusive. I found i got so frustrated that i didnt even want to post on this topic any more, that i would come to my own conclusion. I really hate also that people "hijack" so called support threads! I had a discussion in the cs support with hoobly which was great, to me she had her views but put them across in a none threatening way, that we could actually discuss the issue. The thing alot of these vigialantes dont get is that when they come on ranting and raving i will not even listen or finish reading what they have to say.
It is wonderful that most women get to experience a fantastic, beautiful empowering birth, but for some of us its just not like that. I really dont want to hear from anyone who has had that kind of birth comment on my descion beacuse they have not experienced what you or i have! Be strong and know that you are doing what is best for you personally. And really the birth is only the beginning of something its not the be all and end all. I had a very traumatic experience and didnt get to hold or feed my son for a few days and we have a wonderful bond and i dont believe it would be any different if the birth was different.
Stay strong with your choice it is after all your choice It is those negative comments and the "you shouldves" that make us doubt ourselves. You have made an informed decision, good luck :hug:
HI Scooby, Thank you for your support.
Yes I find it very frustrating when people go on and on about how vb is so great & natural for everyone, all they need is support, doesn't matter how big the baby, it's all natural whether you tear, get poked & prodded, get incontinence etc etc. Some just push their baby out, big or not, and that's great for them. If i felt confident that i could do that i would be giving it a go.
You had a very traumatic experience, precisely what I fear of a vb & partly why i have chosen a c/s. Of course, it's not the easy way out by any means but, to me, is safer because I know my body can handle it & recovered very well the first time. I have weighed up the risks & know what I can handle.
Were you given the option of an episiotomy or did the tear just happen so quickly? That must be so painful & undignified. My mother had a bad time having me, episiotomy & forceps with no pain killers At ALL so me being the same size as her & having big babies, well it doesn't take a rocket scientist to predict it would be a struggle. I believe her when she tells me how bad it was & she wanted to die. I also believe the obs aren't all out to make us have c/s for their convenience. They want us to have a good experience & avoid possible complications of vb if that's what we choose.
Whatever you decide will be the best for you, either way. You might want to try again & pray that it will go better & it just might you never know.
I just want to say congratulations on making a decision you are happy with & good luck with the birth & everything after.
I hope all goes as planned & baby waits til the set date!
Jessica, having my 1st baby vaginally was probably the most traumatic thing I have ever experienced in my life (very late induction with all sorts of interventions), it took me years to get over it and the ONLY way I was ever going to have a second baby was by maternally requested CS. It turned out to be a really empowered, whole and healing experience for me. I was very uncluttered in my birth plan and was able to request skin to skin contact in theatre, keeping my baby with me and breastfeeding in recovery (this was in a public hospital too). The physical side of my recovery was quite slow as I developed an infection in my wound, but I was well supported at home this time too so nearly a year on I'm far more happy and 'intact' as a person than I was after my first birth.
So for me, having a CS the second time was a very positive experience. I was however very clear about the respect and consideration that I expected the staff to show me at all times and I spoke with them about it each time I was at the hospital. I encourage you to approach your own CS with the same attitude -just because it's a CS doesn't mean you no longer have any choices, or that you're handing your personal power over to the doctors. It can be an empowered decision. Good luck!
Hi Jessica
i actually was given an episotomy first but sorry TMI my perineum is about 5mm long (normal is 3-6cm) so the episotomy just aided the whole process, in saying that from all my research, things were not in my favour to begin with basically all the risk factors for a bad tear were in play, i was induced 14 days after my due date ( DS was only 3759grams though), i had a epidural, so i was on my back, DS was posterior in position and couldnt be moved, i had a vacumn extraction and of course the episotomy. Now i know someone is going to come on and say im scaremongering, BUT that was just my experience and guess what i DIDNT have an ob right until the very end when DS went into distress, so obs really arnt the villans here. The reason why i think there is such a back lash against obs is NOT the fault of the ob but of women who are uninformed. If you go to most obs and tell them your birth plan most (infact all of friends ive talked to) will go with it and our quite happy in doing so. The problem is that alot of women just go in with the get this baby out attitude (i was one of them) lets be honest to go through with a vbac or complicated birth you have to be real clued up, have practiced and rehearsed positions etc. alot of women dont have the education and arent prepared to put in what is needed and the obs dont want the complications if the person is not prepared. (hope im making sense as i tend to ramble :lol:) My feelings are that there is too many people with the blame someone else attitude and obs are an easy target. i dont know about you but my ob is an angel, she has been so supportive, i have her home number her mobile and pretty much access any time i need, i was told she would treat you like a sister and that is exactly how it feels.
Thanks so much for starting this thread and to all the wonderful ladies who have contributed. we, as women should be supporting one another we may not agree on the plan of action we each take but it is our own journey and we should respect that.
Hi Jess,:
My c/s was scheduled at exactly 38 weeks and for some reason I wasn't worried about going into labour early - with my first pregnancy I was induced at 41 weeks when there was no sign of labour starting. I guess If I had gone into labour early, I would have just gone with whatever happened.
My baby was 8 pounds 3 ounces, which is big but not huge, and no doubt he would have been big like his brother after another 3 weeks gestation.
The convenience factor was very important to me, and I am conscious of it sounding like a poor reason not to have a natural birth, but for me it took away the stress of the unpredictability and the worry of how my son would be going with whoever was looking after him.
One thing that was very important to me on the day of DS2's birth was to have him with me in recovery, which I didn't have the first time round. They could accommodate this at Sandringham Hospital and it was wonderful to have Aaron in my arms and feeding so soon after his birth.
It's coming up to his first birthday (30/8) and I look back on the day he was born as such a relaxing, special time!
Cheers
Gab
Hi I'm Meg and just have a few little questions for those who have had a C.
Im 26 with a 14 month old and 21 weeks preg. I had a hell of a time having Roman and from that I know MUST have a C this time. I know very little about them and in some ways that is good and bad.
My son was born in a small country hospital (part of the reason of having a bad birth) with a local doc. This time I'm booked into the priv hosp under an OBG.
Having said that I was wondering is there anything you can do to help witht he opp or anything I can do to deal with it any better??
Thanks for taking the time to read or reply to this.
Meg
hey Meg,
I think you`ll be able to find a few other threads that have woman asking the same questions as you about how to prepare for a c.s, so have a look for them on here too :)
With my c.s it was elective and i think this really helped in my recovery, because i was able to prepare mentally for that and as others have said, its a huge weight off your shoulders knowing what to expect.
See if your dr/hospital can give you a tour of the operating theatre and let you know where you`ll go for prep and recovery etc. Mine did this and it was good to see where it would all be happening - that way too I wasnt in for a shock on D day when I saw the big white sterile room that it all happens in!
Basically, they will give you an appointment time often 1 -2 wks pre edd. You go in and get prepared and then they operate. They put up a screen so you cannot see the 'goo'. It all takes about 20 mins. Then you will go into recovery and your baby should be with you. After an hr or 2 you will be taken to your room. You`ll have a catheter, and drip and drugs atached to you, and they probably wont let you have anything to eat until they have it confirmed from you that you have 'passed wind':lol:. Later in the day or usually the next day you will be told to get up and shower etc because the movement is good for your healing. In this intial recover day or 2 its often hard to pick up your baby, but they should be right there beside you or in bed with you if the nurse gives them to you. And there should be no reason that breastfeeding isnt begun as soon as your surgery has all been finished up.
Recovery time for everyone is different but by 6-8 wks you should be able to drive, carry out washing etc. But take it very easy in the first week if you can. Your bodies got a bit of work to do!
As C.s is what I know, having an elective one next time certainly has its appeal! It really doesnt need to be a traumatic experience. Keep asking questions and still have a think about a birth plan even for a c.s.
All the best.
Meg, there's a fantastic book called "Delivery by Appointment" about C/S in Australia. It goes through all the things that can happen and also has a few tips to help you be prepared. I highly recommend that you get a copy of this and read it so that you can be sure you have made an informed decision.
I second Marydean. Delivery By Apppointment is a very good read.
Jessica, I wish you all the best for the CS birth of your baby.
Hey Jess,
Elective C Section (ECS) or VBAC, you know what ..... at the end of the day, no matter which way you sway, everybody wants the same thing - a beautiful healthy bouncing baby. I personally do not care whether my future babies come out the sunroof or through the tunnel providing I get one that I can bring home and watch grow.
If this is the decision you have made, having been though the process yourself then you know what you are in for. Nobody in their right mind would elect to go through major abdominal surgery without doing research for the pro's and con's. Our bodies can only put up with so much.
So by electing this birth choice, I believe you have done the research, know the risks for this pregnancy and all others in future and have come up with the decision YOU are most comfortable with. Nobody pro or against has the right to knock you for that. Your Body, Your Choice.
I have had an em c-sec and have found more support for VBAC next time rather than ECS, but at the end of the day each person needs to do what is right for them and their baby.
I don't feel that bagging (even snide remarks) for either choice is healthy nor is going to benefit either side of the arguement. People need to respect others opinions even when they differ from their own.
Best of luck with your continued pregnancy, I look forward to hearing your story once your bub is born. I also hope that bub stays put and doesn't try to surprise you early ;)
Nae x x
Hi Jessica,
My first baby had to be delivered by cs because I wouldn't dialate - even after 19 hrs on oxytocian. I laboured 3 days and only dialted 3cm's in that time - I had things strapped to me, probes put on my babies head and my movements were extremely restricted - all because I wouldn't dialate - baby was fine, I was fine.
when I was preg with my son I was determined to go VBAC- I spoke with midwifes up at my hospital to discuss it and they advised me that I would be heavily monitored, would be bed bound for labour as because I had previously had cs there is a risk of tearing scaring area and bleeding internally which can lead to death. They gave me all my options - they said if I wanted to do it naturally that was fine, but wanted me to understand the process fully.
The thought of once again being bed bound with probes everywhere and not even being able to have a shower or bath during labour really made me stop and think...... what if once again I didn't dialate? what if once again I would end up having cs anyway... should I risk my baby and my health to satisfy what I thought everyone else thinks I should do, or should I do what I feel comfortable with.
I chose cs and I have never looked back since. The recovery time from my first cs was about 6 weeks before I could fully move around properly - with my second is was within a week. My body wasn't exhausted from labouring, and I was able to control the cs a lot better. the staff were better prepared for me, I had the right dosage of drugs, the longer needle for my epi, I had stockings for my legs and I even got to choose having staples instead of stitches - not to mention I was more relaxed because I knew when my baby was coming. I felt more confortable and in control than if I left it to chance.
I recently had a mc where I ended up haemoraging and I learnt that this little black duck is not meant to do things the natural way. I got to experience 1/10 of pain again from labour and after that realised that "you can stick your natural birth" - I am a cs girl all the way. I am aware there are risks to it, but in all honesty there a risks in all forms of birthing.
But what it comes down to Jessica is what you feel comfortable with, it's about what you want and what is best for you and your baby.
I am trying for another baby and I will be choosing cs without any hesitation - I know what to expect, and I know that me and my doctors will be prepared. I personally would rather have them fully prepared for me instead of having to do it on the fly, because that ended up being scary when they had to do me in a rush.
Hope this helps you in some way.
Hi Jess,
Good on you for making your decision, for whatever your reason. If you want a particular type of birth, then you should be able to have it without judgement. And if you are scared of VBAC or interventions, then dont even think about it, go straight to c/s. I laboured for 27hours with DD and had emergency c/s anyway. I hated all the prodding, poking and hand shoving by the OB, so if your birth experience is going to be calmer, and you more relaxed, then c/s is for you. Power to you honey!!
Dont worry sweets, there are plenty of women who think that just because we were made to birth vaginally we have to do it at whatever the cost physically and emotionally.
Let us know how you go...
Lisa
Hi,
I have had 2 c/s and have never looked back. I too, am a big scardy cat but all in all i believe it is no different to a VB, the end result is the same. You get to meet your bub which ever way.
I had a choice too as Ela was head down and i could have had a VB but why? My 1st c/s went too well, so i had the same with Ela. Do not regret it at all.
Goodluck!
Jess
2 weeks ago I had a repeat c/s after doing research like you. My first child was born by emergency c/s after 32 hours of labour again. I decided due to my PND and anxiety I did not want to go for VBAC also as I was told the chances of VBAC for me were slim as my firstborn got stuck in my pelvis it would likely end up in c/s anyway.
My choice for elective c/s this time two weeks ago for the birth of Tara was the best decision I ever made it was easy, stress free and the recovery was great, I was off all painkillers in 4 days. And we are breastfeeding well and she is already 300g over her birthweight and is 2 1/2 weeks old. I couldnt be happier with my decision and how we both are going and how we both have recovered.
I hope that my birth story of Tara helps you support your decision.
Bel
xxx
The most important thing in my mind is this:
You are not a failed woman or mummy for going c/s the second time.
I imagine a lollipop land where I could VBAC and everything would be beautiful but I already instinctually know it won't happen.
For my first, I was a birth centre patient, perfect pregnancy, healthy, head in the right place (mine and his)... but no... failed to progress 25 hours later.
Now, the boy was 10lbs 8oz -- yes, good odds of having another massive kid if i go down that road again. Would I VBAC... no, not safe in my eyes.
Some people I know VBAC'd beautifully at home, others had the same roaring vaginal birth disaster ending in em-c.
I know for me I felt ripped off the first time, but I would feel WORSE if my pelvis wasn't right for the baby's head this time too.
This is a long post, huh?
Main thing - go with your instincts, because they are right.
I considered VBAC very strongly for my second pregnancy and was all for it until 35 weeks. Had long discussions with my husband and Obstetrician. The Obstetrician was 100% for me going for it but also honest that in my situation there was a 70% chance of having a c-section in any case after long labor. (had pre eclampsia again and also a hip dislocation problem i was born with) No one can predict how your body will react and how things will go. I chose C-section again - knew what to expect and how my body would be after a C-section. It all worked out very well and i'm glad i went the route i knew. I am due in February for my 3rd c-section and more scared of this one only due to the fact that i have 2 other children at home and will need help.
Wish you all the best on your decision
All the best Jessica - it is your body, your baby and completely your decision.
I know when I had our DD via C-section, the first thing everybody asked was 'why'...I got upset at first, and then mad... I guess I figured because I never questioned anybody's decision/ability to have a vaginal birth that I was really disappointed that others thought they were better equipped or better educated to make judgements about my body than I am...
Belle and Turkish Delight - here-here! ;)
Take care Jessica,
Lily
Hi Jessica
I just wanted to pop in and offer you support and warm wishes really, I don't think I have much information to add.
I am considering an elective caesarean if I have a second baby and while I don't feel the need to justify that decision (I'm a lot more confident in my decision-making these days LOL), I'll just explain why to get across the point that everyone has different circumstances and everyone has to do what's best for them.
I had a VB last time and although it was very long and DD was posterior and it ended in a forceps delivery, on the whole I was pretty damned pleased with myself at the time. Except that, I suffered from SPD (unstable pelvis) throughout the pregnancy but was told that it would go away soon after the birth. I had not done enough research and did not know that the position I was put in for 2.5 hours with my knees against my chest to push DD out was the worst possible position I could be in for my SPD. DIdn't feel a thing at the time because I'd had an epidural BUT I was in chronic pain for six months afterwards unable to walk, stand or bend and even now, 15 months later I am still not back to normal. My lack of mobility left me housebound for six months and my relationship with DP suffered immeasurably.
So I am left with a choice of having to dot every i and cross every t if I want another VB, having a doula, writing a detailed birth plan that says EXACTLY what positions will be bad for me ... or, pushing for an elective caesar. And at the moment, even though I'm not even pregnant, I am veering towards a caesar.
Now if anyone REALLY tried to talk me out of that in a judgemental way, I'd tell them where to get off. It's my body, I decide what I want to do with it.
Jess: You are the only person who knows whats right for you all of the others who will always have strong views and opinions dont know the inside of your life and your body or your pregnancy/ies. I applaud you on your determination to succeed in what you feel is safe for you and your baby every mother will do this instinctively, its apart of being a mum.
Ninja turtle: I read your post, you sound much like me, my 1st bub was 10 lbs 2 oz 38cm head no labour so a c section was reccommened and now we know why, with my 2nd I was determined to have a VBAC until the end, and scans were indicating another monster bub, sure enough he was 10 lbs 13 oz and 40 cm head so these are prime examples of just doing what you feel is safe for yourself and the baby.
And I know many can birth really large babies but not ALL women can, My 2nd bubs head was engaged and stuck in the pelvis when they were pulling him out by c/s, so thats just proof you go with what your initial motherly instincts are, and Jess if thats c/s for you I say go for it love, you know whats involved and what to expect, you'll do just fine.