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Is there anything wrong with having your new born go straight into its cot and in its own room straight out of the hospital?
We only have a small master bedroom and there is no room for cot, bassinet or cradle in there. Plus we are getting a good baby monitor. Is there anything bad about doing this? Plus I do want my DH to get as much sleep as he can as he will still be working. And I will need him strong and well slept to help me out when I am tired.
i personally dont have a prob with putting them in their own room,
it just depends on how u feel
i think most people with the first child are paranoid about them 'not breathing' etc..... and like to have them close
DD1 went straight from hospital toher own cot and bedroom
DD2 went into our room in a cradle..BIG MISTAKE!...All her noises kept me awake all night and was horrid..
DD3 will be going straight to her own room from day 1!!!
Another option is to pop bubs into your bed and co-sleep. Nothing so nice as snuggling up to your baby and drifting off to sleep.
yeah thats fine. that is my plan this time round. i found that having DD in my room in basinette was too distracting for me. every noise or movement she would make i woke up just to check on her. i figure if she is in the other room i will hear her when she needs me not when she is just dozing.
Co-slept with both of mine and loved in. In cultures that co-sleep, SIDS is unheard of.
MJ went straight into her own cot (not bassinet) in her own room.
Cosleeping was not an option as DH is a smoker and it is not recommended for smokers and there was no room for a bassinet or cot in our room.
We have NEVER had a problem with her sleeping or settling at all.
I was terrified i wouldnt hear her, but although we had a monitor we stopped in a few weeks as every noise was amplified and i was getting no sleep ;)
I love all the noises in the night - they're really comforting. When I stayed with my Dad a while ago he put my boys in a room far from mine and I barely slept a wink without the snuffling.
Both times we have used a basinette as co-sleeping wasnt an option for us. I'm a very fussy sleeper and dont stay still and so is DP...
I dont see why bubs cant go straight into the cot... Maybe if you get worried put a single bed or just mattress on there is you have 1. But as you said you have a good monitor... You'll probably get up a few times at first to check or bubs waking for feeds anyways.
I wouldn't worry about DH sleeping - I found that DP will wake up if the dog scratches himself at the other end of the house but if DD screams the house down DP can sleep right through it!! He says it's instinct as he has to get up and hunt wild bison for dinner - yeah right!
I had DD in a cradle right next to our bed and we re-arranged the room to fit it in by putting it where my bedside table was. She moved to her own room at 5 months and then we put everything back the way it was. Our room is also very small but with some planning we were able to fit everything in.
I really think it is a personal choice and its hard to decide until bubs is actually here! DS co slept until 6months and wouldn't even wake for a feed cause he was so comfy...can't really blame him and we did live in a much cooler place at the time. This bub will be in a bassinet right next to the bed...i just feel better having them closer, again a personal choice.
I did exactly that. Had the monitor on so that I would hear DS and it worked very well for me. DH slept through everything. :rolleyes: The amount of times DH would ask in the morning "Did he wake up at all?" and I would answer through gritted teeth!
DS comes into bed a lot with us now (he is nearly 2) - I am now far more relaxed about co-sleeping but I still get a much better quality of sleep if he is not in the bed.
I think its a personal choice!
When we bought DS home he went into his room all by himself! But after reading some books which i should have read before DS came into our lives he began co sleeping! Now when i look back i think how lonely this would have been for him after being so snug and close to me for 9 months!
When our next baby comes along i will be co sleeping from the start!
Dh never had time off and once DS started to sleep with us he just got used to the little nioses. Now he doesnt even here him! Unfortunately you both will be tired no matter what.
Good luck with your decision you will make the right chioce for you and your baby! x
Does anyone else find that their co-sleeping baby won't sleep well without mum (or dad) there sleeping with them?
This seems to be the case with a toddler I know. I think she's tired the whole time, because she doesn't know how to get to sleep when she is alone. She's certainly really really hard to get to sleep, sleeps lightly at best, and is often a real handful (she's delightful in other ways too - it isn't all bad).
Her parents are doing the whole "attachment parenting" thing, which I haven't read much about, though I gather there is a lot of information out there about this. But it doesn't make sense to me to not teach your baby, as easily as possible, that it is OK, safe, and comfortable for them to sleep on their own. It also doesn't make sense to me to make someone who is upset about it have to sleep entirely on their own every time.
Surely there is a middle ground here?
As a general rule, parents get more sleep when they co-sleep. And when done according to the guidelines it definitely reduces the risk of SIDS (they don't call it COT death for nothing!). But that doesn't suit everyone and if you decide you'd rather put the baby in another room that is ok. Just be aware that you might feel differently when you actually bring baby home. Especially after you've had your baby in your room for a couple of nights in the hospital, it can be pretty difficult to leave them in a different room by themselves when you get home. I am sure one way or another you will find what works for you. It just might not be what you expected it to be!
I'd say wait until the baby arrives. DD slept in a bassinet right up against my side of the bed for 6 months and then we moved her to her cot. We tried the same thing with DS - nope, he had other plans :rolleyes: moving him to his cot in his own room saw a huge improvement in his sleeping. I came to a compromise of sleeping in the spare room next door so I am literally 5 steps away from his cot because I hated being away from him - and yes, 10 months later, DH and I have still not gone back to our own bedroom :cryinglaugh:
If I had my time again, I'd probably get one of those Arms Reach co-sleepers in the hope he'd be more comfortable in that, he really hated the bassinet.
The other option if space is a problem might be a hammock, I don't think they take up as much room and you can hire them.
My LO has always slept in his own room, apart from a few nights at the start when he wouldn't settle (and I just wanted to cuddle him).
It was our plan to put him straight into his cot, but he was just too small for that when he first came home. We have a nice rocker that we ended up putting into the cot and he sleeps in that. At 11 weeks, he is about to transition to his cot because he is getting too big for the rocker!
I will second what someone else said- you might be surprised at how much you actually want to co-sleep when you get them home. I have always been very much "your space/ my space" kind of person, but when LO came home, I just wanted to be close to him all the time! I figured this seemed pretty natural and as much as I could I balanced this with also wanting him to learn to sleep by himself.
Good luck, you will love it!
with DD we planned to have her straight in a cot in her room.
however, once i had her i decided that she was too tiny to be in her big cot and the constant feeds in those early weeks seemed impractical to have her such a distance away (i knew that i would be too tired getting up every 2-3 hours to do nappy changes and a feed then a re-wrap and settle).
so the day we brought her home i went out and bought a moses basket and stand and we had her in our room. DH would get up and bring her to me and i would feed in bed with her. this way she would stay pretty sleepy and nod off and we could transfer her back.
she stayed with us for the first 4 weeks. then the noises got too much and i wouldn't be able to relax thinking she was needing a feed etc. after that she went to her own room.
i wouldnt worry too much about DH needing sleep. being the primary carer of a newborn is a much more labour intensive job, that goes 24/7, in fact at times, going to work can be the relaxing part! LOL!
getting dh to help change nappies and bringing them to you in the night shift is also a nice way for dads to feel a real part of caring process. my dh felt pretty inconsequential to her well being and was pretty bummed until we worked out a system whereby he had his little rituals with her...ITH...
There is nothing wrong with your baby going into a cot in its own room straight from hospital if thats what you choose to do..
I personally have had all my babies in my room till 12 months or older.. i sleep quite well as does Dh.. And on those nights when baby was crying lots honeslty it was simply to bad tso sad LOL.. I did sleep on the couch (sitting up) with bubs from time to time but mainly Dh would go sleep elsewhere as he knew my sleep was just as important. It isn't that easy to go to sleep during the day when baby does..
I am sure you will make the right decision to suit you and your partners :)
As everyone else has said, there is nothing wrong with whatever you decide. But i don't think you should make concrete plans until you have bubs at home.
I assumed DS would sleep in his own room but i found it reassuring in the first weeks to have him close by so i could keep checking on him. Then we both found that we actually slept better with DS in our room as we were getting up often during the night for feeds/comforting etc until DS got the Day/Night thing sorted. DH is a shift worker so his sleep is important too. Sometimes if he really needs to sleep, he just wears earplugs!
DS has been in his own room since about 16 weeks and I hate getting up in the night with it being cold etc - sometimes I wish he was back with us in our room!
There's nothing wrong with what you have planned. It's exactly what we planned to do but it didn't end up that way.
Our bubs ended up in special care due to infection so when we came home there was no way I was putting him at the other end of the house. I had him in his cradle right next to the bed on my side so I could pop my head in to check on him at any time. I love all the noises he makes at night.
I would never have thought the cradle would fit in the room as our bedroom is small but we managed to fit it in.
Getting up to settle bubs or feed bubs is much easier if you have them in the room with you. We have now moved him out to the lounge (closest room to our bedroom) and the next step will be down to his bedroom with a monitor once he gets over his cold.
As for the comments about co-sleeping. I did this a little in the beginning when he wouldn't sleep. I found it hard to sleep that way as I was so worried he'd get squashed or fall out of bed. Also it's not recommended if one of you smokes or if you have a pet that sleeps on the bed. My mum knows someone who has a 10 year old that still co-sleeps so I also didn't end up going down that track.... total end to intimacy in that marriage I reckon.
Someone made a comment about cot death. It needs to be remembered that SIDS can occur anywhere at any time. It doesn't always happen in a cot. The only person I know IRL who's son died of it had it happen while she was cooking dinner and he wasn't in a cot at the time.
Only if you only DTD in bed which frankly would get pretty boring....:
I think a 10 year old in the bed would be a one in a thousand. I know a 25 year old who still sleeps in her parents bed but she is a survivor of torture so I wouldn't judge co-sleeping by her case.
We tried to put him in our room but the basinette wouldn't fit - we ended up putting his cradle in the walk-in-robe ;) That worked just fine for us, we kept the door open and we had the baby monitor and also a breathing monitor (OK, I was paranoid).
Mind you, for the first 6 weeks we just camped on the recliner chair in the lounge room cause it was easier with feeding and getting him to sleep anyhows :) Plus I love the snuggles. I miss the snuggles.
I guess with real attachment parenting, they'd be wearing the baby through the day, so bub sleeps on them, and then sleeps with them at night too. But if you just want to co-sleep, then that's usually just at night, and bub would have day sleeps on his own. So there is a middle ground. Co-sleeping is great for not needing to fully get up to feed through the night, so you do get more sleep that way.:
We've got this, and I highly recommend it. It's co-sleeping, but not! LOL. It's worked well for us because DS still comes in through the night (most nights) and if DD was in our bed I'd worry that he'd climb all over her. This way she is still right next to me, but in her own blankets and things. She can actually crawl out of it now, so I'm not supposed to use it hehe.. we have set up the other 'big' cot in DS's room, but I like having her next to me, so I need to wean myself off it.:
DS did go in a cot in his own room when we came home from hospital. This worked ok for us.. and he started co-sleeping when he was about 7 months, then into his big bed at 13 mths.
I'm too nervous to co-sleep with a very new baby, so the Arms Reach thing has been perfect for me to use from day 1 for DD.
Couldn't agree more.:
Im just wondering why SIDS is unheard of with co-sleeping? Is it because they are also children (cultures) that don't vaccinate? Would really like to know if anyone has an answer. I just cannot see that it would make a difference. (especially inthis day and age with all the monitors). Thanks xo
Meg, I have no idea why SIDS would be unheard of with co-sleeping (and I doubt it could prevent the SIDS cases that occur during day sleeps) but in my case I woke up in a flat panic one night because Imran had stopped breathing. It was only after I gave him a full-on shake that he took a huge gasp for breath (but didn't wake up). Had I been sleeping in a seperate room and relying on a monitor I never would have woken up and my gorgeous little Imran would be another SIDS statistic.
It took me months before I could sleep well again after that.
There's also a theory that the baby regulates him/herself to your own breathing & heartbeat.
Wow Dachlostar that is scary. Im glad all was well. And Kaz that is an interesting point too. I have done a mixture with my girls. The reason I didn't continue co-sleeping was because I am SUCH a light sleeper, I just woke up continuously. It was good for the feeding and that's why I started.
I guess I'll play it by ear again. I guess after 9 months in the womb it must be strange being taken out of that environment totally. I might do some more research into it.
thanks xo
:)B1 went into a bassinette and then a cot in his own room, and we battled every night for almost a year to get him to sleep. Poor dear would fall asleep from exhausted crying about 11pm- we tried everything, then put him into bed with us and hes great, hes now 2.5 and wanting his own bed- which is great because we have B2 now, B2 has a basinnette and sleeps in it in daytime, but at night hes in with us, we have our bed against a wall and have baby next to wall, adult, baby, adult on the outside. Soon B1 will move into his own bed and room- but at his pace. This is the way we work. My husbands chinese and most chinese co-sleep with their babys
I tried to quickly check up on the Sids and co-sleeping thing. As far as I could see in searching online through a few articles,
- the jury is out as to whether it really helps, because the data collection has been dodgy in the studies - there are too many variables, and not enough detail gathered when anyone has actually tried to study it. (maybe this has changed this the articles I read were written, though)
- one theory as to why it might help is that the baby sleeps more lightly when co-sleeping as compared to on their own, so they don't get into the deep sleep that can (apparently) result in breathing failures (I know nothing about the mechanism of this).
- another theory is that it has to do with the improved temperature regulation that sleeping by a larger body (the parent) provides.
For us...we sleep better having bubs in our room with us. This means we have a bassinette set up for the first 3 months, then sidecar a cot as an extension of our bed. Most often bubs will be in bed with us but it gives us that privacy and space when we feel we may need it.
I know when i first had dd I had her in a seperate room for the first few months and omg it was doing my head in continually checking her. I much rather just being able to feel, hear etc how bubby is doing.
Jo
With my 3 girls they all slept in the basinette (which is still have and am going to use for this bubs) and it was next to my bed until bubs moved around a bit too much for my liking then moved into a cot. Maddi (my 2yo) is going into her own bed today because she has worked out how to climb out!
As others have said, it depends on your bub, and on how you feel when you get home from hossy. At night, DS slept in a bassinette in our room until he was 12 weeks old. I would have loved him to stay longer (I was really nervous about moving him to his own room), but he was past the weight limit of the bassinette. He slept in his cot in his own room during the day (because that room is air-conditioned & ours isn't). He had no trouble going between the two.
The other thing to consider is night feeds. If you are going to breastfeed, it's so much easier to just be able to put bubs in bed with you while you feed (which can be quite frequent in those first few weeks/months).
I still bring DS into bed with me after his 'night' feed (which is about 5am) - I get a longer sleep that way & we can wake up together about 7am.
Hm so much to decide on. Now I am leaning towards having bump in the room with us. I didn't want to buy a bassinet when I would only use it for a few months. What if I had bump in his bassinet in his pram sleep in the room with us, is this ok?
Hi puppies
There are people who will advise against bub sleeping in a pram bassinette overnight. I can't actually remember why but I did it (well, DD did it rather!)
As the others have said, you really don't need to decide on this right now. Set up the cot in the baby's room, have the pram bassinette in your room and see which one you prefer. If after a few days, you prefer using the pram bassinette but are worried about the risks, then maybe buy a cheap Moses basket.
It's dangerous to have a baby sleeping in a pram because even tiny babies can wiggle and fall out or get caught in straps but AFAIK the removable bassinets that some prams have are ok. Just so long as it has no straps that bubs can get tangled in and a 'wall' so they can't slip out.
Another option is a hammock - you can move them around the house easily and they're pretty small and you get more use out of them than a bassinette.
It's really differed for me from baby to baby. A couple of them have slept in their own room or just outside my room because they just wouldn't sleep in with me - just having me there kept them wide awake and disturbed us all!:
The others have sort of alternated between a bassinette next to the bed and sleeping with us in our bed - that's always an alternative if the cot isn't working out. Sometimes the babe would sleep in the cot and then if she woke up during the night, would migrate to our bed and stay there. If you're demand feeding and the baby wakes up frequently at night, it can be more restful for everyone just to have the baby right there to whack on the boob!
DD had a bassinet that was able to be connected to the pram. She slept in that in our room for about 6 weeks, then she was in the lounge room (outside our room) until about 3 months when we moved her into the cot in her own room.