People's reaction to The Announcement - Suggestions?

We found out last week we are having #6. It was hard enough dealing with ignorant comments from people with #5. I'm feeling stupid enough getting caught out as it is.

I am really nervous about what people are going to say, and I have really no idea how to deal with inappropriate comments, particularly at work.

I'm thinking I should alternate between the icy stare, "That's a really inappropriate comment," or "That's really none of your business".

I'd be interested to hear how other people might have approached this issue.

I would say "I will be sure to tell the child that when they are older" Or "you must be confusing me with someone who cares what you think"

Bugger them - it is really none of their business.

Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS!!! :hooray:
Good on you, very brave to be taking the plunge with number seven, i totally applaud you!
Not really sure what to say, but "care factor: zero" (oh how very adolescent), has always been a favourite of mine.

Congratulations! Both my parents come from families of 7 kids, and big families are so much fun!

People just say those things because of ignorance and they have nothing better to say. Perhaps just point out 'oh we don't view children as a burden, we see them as a blessing, so we feel really lucky to be expecting another!'

So 'oh you'll have your hands full!' Say, 'yes, we're really looking forward to it' - or a favourite of mine 'we'd rather full hands over empty hands any day'. :)

All the best with your pregnancy, people have been having large families for many many years! (perhaps point that out too :P)

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Congratulations! Both my parents come from families of 7 kids, and big families are so much fun!

People just say those things because of ignorance and they have nothing better to say. Perhaps just point out 'oh we don't view children as a burden, we see them as a blessing, so we feel really lucky to be expecting another!'

So 'oh you'll have your hands full!' Say, 'yes, we're really looking forward to it' - or a favourite of mine 'we'd rather full hands over empty hands any day'. :)

All the best with your pregnancy, people have been having large families for many many years! (perhaps point that out too :P)

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It's so nice to hear the word "congratulations"! I've spent this week freaking out - but I'm having a baby... that's a good thing!

It *is* nice having a large family. Our five kids are fairly spread out in age, and it's a lot of fun, particularly at Christmas and other times like that. There will be nineteen years between this baby and the eldest. (That makes me sound very old - I'm only thirty eight!)

These suggestions are helpful. It is just so amazing what people will say about a pregnant woman, isn't it?

Congrats :)

When we fell preg with number 4 ( I had 3 boys) All we heard was.. oh going back for that girl are you yada yada. Eventually my husband turned around and said no.. We are hoping to finally get one we like.. Or we stuffed up the first 3 thought we might give it another shot :)

Hoping for a happy and healthy Pregnancy :)

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Congrats :)

When we fell preg with number 4 ( I had 3 boys) All we heard was.. oh going back for that girl are you yada yada. Eventually my husband turned around and said no.. We are hoping to finally get one we like.. Or we stuffed up the first 3 thought we might give it another shot :)

Hoping for a happy and healthy Pregnancy :)

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Heheh, that's great.

I've got five girls now... so yes, I can imagine we'll get the "trying for a boy" comments. And if it *is* a boy, there'll be comments, and if it *isn't*, there'll be comments. To be honest, I think those comments hurt the most because they necessarily put down the girls. I *LOVE* my girls!

Congrats :clap:
-you are very blessed !
Also, i only care about commends, from people I CARE about, so don't worry about it ! what does it matter what they thing, the most important thing is that you guys are happy !
everything happens for a reason ... people also make the mistake to judge by their own standards ...

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Heheh, that's great.

I've got five girls now... so yes, I can imagine we'll get the "trying for a boy" comments. And if it *is* a boy, there'll be comments, and if it *isn't*, there'll be comments. To be honest, I think those comments hurt the most because they necessarily put down the girls. I *LOVE* my girls!

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I feel exactly the same!! And when they comments are made in front of my boys I feel so bad for them.. I usually bring it up later and say we love them and we didn't have another baby cus we wanted a Girl.. We tell them we wanted another baby cus they made us so happy we wanted more..

the comments never end... and if you do get a boy and then decide on no more people will say.. Well you got your boy now you can stop.. I feel so bad for my boys when people say those comments..

Im only on #3 and also my 3rd DD...and i always get the comments of 'Oh you going to try for aboy next' 'your brave' etc

And i simply say 'No..i love my girls and i was blessed to be able to have 1 child let alone 3 darlings...'

Shuts em up quickly.

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the comments never end... and if you do get a boy and then decide on no more people will say.. Well you got your boy now you can stop.. I feel so bad for my boys when people say those comments..

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You know, that's exactly right.

A couple of times this year someone has asked me how many kids I have and I've said "five" and they've said, "How wonderful! How lovely for you!" and that has been just such a lovely change.

I think if I didn't feel so stupid or irresponsible in myself (this was totally unplanned and not a very good move for me in many ways) I probably wouldn't be worrying so much what everyone else thinks. Dd5 was a delightful "oops" and I just feel like at my age, I should be beyond that, you know? It's like that line out of the Importance of Being Earnest: once is an accident, twice looks like carelessness. Or something like that.

I read once that someone had said to a girl "Don't you own a tv" to which she replied "If you prefer TV you're doing it wrong!" Another is yeah I slipped and fell on a banana peel ;)

congrats :D:D:D

my advice to you is... who cares what anybody else thinks. what does it matter? dont let THEIR opinions get to you. its not worth it.

I am having #5 at 40 so understand where you are coming from lol.

Funnily enough I have had comments from my family about when are we going to stop.

My mum actually said she wanted lots of grandkids just not from the one person. She had 4 of her own and only 2 of us has children ATM. I don't think my brother or SIl will be having any more (they have 2) and my other sibs don't look like having any at all.

My eldest DD (13) has told me that if I have any more she will make me have an abortion and I went right off at her. I told her that it is up to DF and I how many children we have and she has no say in it what so ever.

In the town that I live in we have many larger families, so we are not unusual.

Tell them to bury their heads lol it is up to you

Congrats on #6

Another comment I've heard is "We'll stop when we get one we like" That shuts people up too ;) And then you can laugh and say well why do you think we haven't stopped? Why did you stop?! And then they'll look silly!

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You know, that's exactly right.

A couple of times this year someone has asked me how many kids I have and I've said "five" and they've said, "How wonderful! How lovely for you!" and that has been just such a lovely change.

I think if I didn't feel so stupid or irresponsible in myself (this was totally unplanned and not a very good move for me in many ways) I probably wouldn't be worrying so much what everyone else thinks. Dd5 was a delightful "oops" and I just feel like at my age, I should be beyond that, you know? It's like that line out of the Importance of Being Earnest: once is an accident, twice looks like carelessness. Or something like that.

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well i for one believe babies come to you when THEY are ready, and so it's meant to be! all my pregnancies when i was younger were contraceptive babies, and even last Dec when i fell pg with Joshua. so i'd be more likely to say to rude people "well actually, we're trying for a rugby sevens team" and walk away laughing. some of my friends come from larger families, and they tell me wonderful stories of growing up with a houseful of siblings.

congratulations and best wishes for a happy and healthy pregnancy and bub!

Congratulations on expecting your #6 ! That's so special and another important little person to be added to your family! :clap: that's so exciting! You must be a wonderful Mummy.

Just ignore people's rude comments..... it's so easy for people to be negative, especially these days unfortunately. They are either jealous, misinformed or very UNHAPPY people ;)

Enjoy your pregnancy!

ps I'm looking forward to having a nice sized family also, probably 4 kidlets ;)

Congratulations. I am No. 5 in a family of 6 and I have always loved being from a big family. My younger brother is 7 years after me, and he was definitely an 'oops' and my mother was 41 when he has born (16 years between the eldest and youngest). She now says that having him that much later meant that she continued to do things that younger mums were doing - school tuckshop etc, and she also made a whole new group of friends through women at his school who she still sees now. My mum is now 66 and all my friends thinks she is a total glamour and looks a good 10 years younger (even though she does nothing to help this and thinks she everyone is silly when they compliment her). So I think you should feel proud and it is just rudeness when people make a comment about your pregnancy. As I am from a big family and I have 15 nieces and nephews, I had to constantly put up with people telling me that I was going to have a honeymoon baby. Trust me, it doesn't matter what you do, people will always have something to say.

So if people do say things, just say that you are a delighted (or something) and happy to be adding to your family. It says more about them than it does about you! So congrats and good luck for the remainder of your pregnancy.

I have not long gone through exactly this!! #6 on the way here too!!:lol:

When we announced, we also said how happy we were and that we were very excited. No one can really say anything nasty if your so excited!!

We were asked if we had a tele, and DH would say, "yep, a nice big one, but I prefer to have sex with Jodie than watch t.v!!" :cryinglaugh:

Good luck, and just know that WE are all very happy for you babe!!! :hug:

Congratulations.

Going to have to remember this one - 'We are hoping to finally get one we like' LOL I love it!!!!!!

I'm cooking #3 atm and would love a big family so I really dont care about other ppl and what they say........What Purplemamma said sounds good tho :)

Cheers,

Beck

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :hooray:

I really don't understand people, what on earth has it got to do with them how many kids you have? Not like they'll have to look after them!!

Congratulations!

I would go with something like at least my partner and I love each other enough to still have sex. Just think it wasn't that long ago when only have 2 children was "weird"

Congratulations. I was fearing telling ppl i was having number 4 will problems i the past in pregnancy and all. I had a gyno tell me just after number 2 if i had any more i would die. But I have asked other drs and they have all said that there is no reason why i would die. I have 4 kids now and i come from a family of 5 but i honestly dont feel like my family is complete till i each 5 at least. yeah pregnancy plays havoc with my body. Its full on round the house but there is also so much love.

I think when you come from a big family you love everything about that BIGNESS and you want the same. Thats just my opinion as to why i don't feel like i have enough kids. Its very difficult to put into words to explain but i juts feel like 5 has to be my minimum.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

*sigh, I'd love 6 kids..

But anyway, I'd be saying "yep, fingers crossed for TWINS!!"

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yep, a nice big one, but I prefer to have sex with Jodie than watch t.v!!"

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...my god, that is soooo funny.

We have 3 girls, seriously considering going for #4 ATM, i get the 'going to go again for a boy'? ???grrr so over it. When people do ask me this though, i simply say 'you know what, i would love 4 girls, im one of 4 girls, i know girls, i love girls, nah, i think i would prefer a girl' - that totally throws them. Love it.

Congrats on your pregnancy!

Im pregnant with my 4th child and when I told my family I got the reaction I expected....not a good one! So I didnt speak to them for 3 weeks until my mother rang me crying saying she misses me etc and that even though she doesnt agree with things i do she will always love me.

Here is a little of my story, Im going through my second divorce but my family still love me ex husband and thing i should get back with him even though we fight all the time and didnt get along, im with someone else who they wont accept cause its not cameron (my ex) and because ive only been with barry for less than 5 months and Im nearly 10 weeks pregnant with his child (wasnt planned) im now the black sheep of the family who keeps stuffing everything up blah blah. im 33, im paying off a mortgage, i have 3 gorgeous girls who are bright, well looked after (maybe a bit too much with computers and phones etc) but they never go without, my family still treat me like im a child that knows nothing, they dont understand that now i need my family more than ever as ive been diagnosed with severe prenatal depression, so i said to myself fine, if they want to act this way then they are more of a little child than they claim me to be.

Moral of the story is, its your life, you answer to nobody. As long as your happy and your children are happy then thats the main thing. People will say negative things but thats probably because they are jealous!

(((BIG HUGS TO YOU)))

Congrats.

I don't envy your position. I reckon you are going to get lots of comments about you having enough kids already and also lots about trying for a boy. You could also get comments about your age as it seems there are lots of people out there who don't think you should have kids over the age of 35.

It's not easy to deal with negative comments about your pregnancy. The worst I got was from a woman telling me how brave I was giving birth at my age (I was 42 when I gave birth but was still pregnant when she said it). I still don't know what she meant by it and I couldn't think of anything to say back so just walked off. Until she realised how old I was she'd been all positive about it.

Now that we have a boy and my DF has a girl everyone is presuming that there will be no more. I'd hate to think what kind of comments we'd get if we did. Before I'd even had him my mother had asked me what kind of contraception I was going to use afterwards ("because you don't want to be having another one"). I found that unbelievable as he was afterall my first child.

I wish people would keep their opinions on how many children any couple should have to themselves.

Best of luck with announcing your pregnancy. Whatever they say don't let it get to you. Remember you don't have to say anything back, you can always just ignore what was said or do what I did and walk off.