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I hope to do the same thing!!!
Can you change your course to Distance Ed? That would give you a lot more flexibility.
Ummmmm... well I am going to have to say that this bit...
Really isn't going to work. Well, ok, I'm sure some people can make it work. I certainly couldn't. I'm a uni student but am so glad I took 6 months off. Studying is intense, especially at uni. Taking a bub to uni would be really hard, unless you had the perfect baby I would say almost impossible they ask you take them outside. Well my uni does anyway, they have a whole child policy thing written up, which basically says bub has to be silent.:
have the baby around say August next year, that doesnt clash with exams or assessment periods, you might miss a week of study during the birth week, but thats all cool, you can catch up, you are only going part time anyway and its one day a week, how hard could it be? and baby can come to uni classes with you afterwards, latched onto Boobie it will just sleep anyway, it will be fine, you can do it....
Although, if I could do it correspondance it would be very different. I could just start back at studying when I was ready. The past week I have been more alive and more awake (!) and have felt like I could study but I don't think I could deal with the intensity of going to uni.
Next semester I am going to go back one or two half days a week and have Shel or family look after her while I am there, a nice way to have some baby-free time and do something I like doing as well. But I'd only do it if I didn't have to take her. Too hard to take bub IMHO.
That said, others have done it, I'm sure its doable. I don't think its very practical honestly.
I work at a university and we don't allow mothers to bring their babies or children into lectures or tutorials. It disadvantages the other students in the class. However, many subjects will have lecture materials available online even if you are not officially an external student. So you *may* (depending on the university / course) be able to do your study from home anyway. Lecturers *sometimes* have consultation times available where you can knock on their door and ask questions. You *may* be able to do this with the baby. It all depends on the individual university and lecturer. You need to make sure you get a lecturer who is flexible for you.
Have you considered doing just a single subject at an external university and trasferring the credit over? I did my whole degree by correspondence, and they mailed me all the lecture notes for the entire subject at the beginning of the semester along with all of the assessement items. I could get as far ahead as I needed to and studied when I wanted. It worked well for me.
Good luck getting this all sorted out. Remember though that it may not be possible to fall pregnant the exact month you want to, for some perfectly healthy couples it takes up to 12 months.
Edit: Are there any practicals / computer laboratories etc involved in this course? What about group projects? That would complicate things further. Do you have someone to look after the baby when you need to do in-class exams?
Ok... here's the wet blanket LOL
Yes, it might be do-able. It might be physically do-able... but it might require the strength of a superwoman.
I returned to study with a 5yo and THAT was only do-able for me... just. The only thing that got me through was my mental determination... and I felt VERY VERY focussed on my studies... my brain was really "locked into" my course. Personally, I think your biggest challenge will be staying "locked into" (mentally focussed) on uni work post baby. Don't under-estimate how your priorities chan ge after you have a baby. If it was me I would cease to care less if an assignment was due... for example... all I would be focussed on would be climbing the steep learning curve that is caring for a new baby. Your brain chemistry changes to facillitate this baby-focus...and will work against you when you try to tackle issues un-related to your baby. Well that's a common scenario anyhow. On top of that you will be exhausted... even if you have the support of a huge extended family...you will be physically and emotionally tired a lot of the time due to having a baby. Breast feeding alone places huge demands on your body's resourses... it can be tiring... it's not just a matter of attaching a baby and letting it suck. Sometimes even that bit isn't easy... but even if it is then your body is still directing alot of it's resources into milk-making and this is why it is tiring.
I could go on and on as to why it could pose a larger challenge than what you are envisionaging... but I feel 'bad' already :redface:. Just see this post as one from a Devil's Advocate LOL
How much help would you have from extended family?
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I am superwoman.....I WISH!:
and none.....so there ya go......
Yeah I knew all of this anyways, just wanted to hear it from others.
baby hormonals are crazy thangs.....
I forgot to add that I was so committed to my course that we bought a unit within a short walk to uni. We lived there until i graduated. Time was so precious (I worked a part time job as well) that logistically the only way i could do it was to cut out commuting time between home and uni down to about 5 minutes.
Also, regarding gruelling schedules: when you first have a baby you can be feeding sometimes every two hours... during the night as well. Try waking yourself up every 2 hours for the next week or so and see how that goes... you find yourself in a veeeery different place... to say the least ;)
But hey... not all bad news... what a carrot to lure!: 'finish my course and then i get to have a baby!!!" :D
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Honestly, I think it would be pretty hard. I finished my degree last year and it was via correspondence, which was easier as I could do it in my own time, but still it was tough at times. With two little ones....well it will be really tough!! Especially actually going to uni. I would wait the few months before ttc and finish your studies. In reality it's only a little while, though I do understand the 'I need a baby' feeling!! And the likelyhood of it all being exectly how you want it to be is probably pretty slim, you have alot of 'ifs' in your theory! (I hope I haven't offended).
:doh: sorry i didn't see your ticker... didn't realise you already had a child! I didn't mean to sound like I was talking to a novice! LOL sorry! But... eeek! studying with 2 littlies! You're braver than me... but I'm pretty wimpy sometimes when it comes to gruelling lifestyles. :redface:
I am doing postgrad part part time (ie one unit of coursework at the moment) with an 9 month old and it is VERY hard going. Like someone said it is the headspace of engaging with something other than baby. It does change verything. I find it very difficult to focus on articles and readings even when DD is asleep and at night time I am so exhausted I couldn't care less about uni work. There was no chance of me doing anything when DD was earlier than this as she was/is a 24hr job. You need long periods of uninterrupted time especially with research to get into it and for me it is not possible to do properly with a young baby as you do not get long periods of time nor have the energy or motivation due to tiredness. I also feel that I owe it to my daughter to give her all of my energy at this point in her life.
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Hi Amethyst
I have just finished my Masters and have a 2 1/2 year old. I did half of the course before she was born (12 mths), then took 12 mths off (turned into 18 mths because couldn't do the subjects I wanted for the first semester back) and took another 12 mths to finish.
I'm not sure what your uni is like, but mine allowed me to defer my course for 12 mths (actually 18 as I said, but I did re-enrol after 12) without penalty. Subjects had changed when I got back, but they were very helpful in making sure I took the 'right' ones to finish on target.
Altho most of my subjects were flexible in timing (mostly after hours), as most postgrad students work, I think it would have been totally unmanageable to do them while DD was really little. I did go back to work (but I work for myself and I only did a little bit) when DD was tiny and that split my time too. TBH until she was 7 mths I really didn't have the focus.
Once DD was over 12 mths I could rely on DP to put her to bed or have her for the morning if I had a class. If I hadn't been working I would probably have gone back earlier. I often enrolled in several subjects (at least two) and withdrew from the one/s (without penalty) that didn't have timetables that worked for us.
My uni also offered summer and winter schools - a godsend! I only did one subject at any time, but filled in with summer school so it didn't really take me much longer to finish. You might be able to do the same thing.
(FWIW I did external study for my undergrad and I honestly wouldn't recommend it for postgrad with little ones - it was hard enough to motivate myself then and being able to physically go away from the house to my subjects was much more beneficial. You have to spend so much time reading and preparing assignments that it's good to have the constant supervision of a class and a lecturer!)
Not sure if that helps!
I finished my post grad degree 2 years ago and really enjoyed the fact that most of my classes were small but in one of my last units one of the other students separated and ended up needing to bring her son (4) to a few classes. It was not cool, having small classes means you notice everything and a child is something you notice. It would not be fair to other students or lectures. A university is an adult learning environment and while many welcome kids on campus most don't allow them in class. Your so close to finishing I would say knock your studies off now. You might find that once you have your bub you wont want to go back.
All the best in making your decision.
I'm so sorry, but I'm with Macca. I actually did an awful thing to a classmate two years back. Her CC options had fallen through last minute, and she got special permission to bring the baby in with her. Her having the baby wasn't the issue - it was everyone else who would hold her and not leave the room if she started to cry.
I ended up making a formal complaint, because I found it distracting, and I don't have great hearing so I was missing out. The mother concerned was asked to leave and a study from home package was developed for her.
All of her friends then went on the witch-hunt to find out who it was, and I had to lie to them. It was awful. I felt so bad, but I was paying for the study just like she was, and I felt that it was unfair.
So please, please from a fellow student's point of view, don't do it!
ok ok enough already - I already made my decision and i was looking at people convincing me that my decision is right - I am starting to feel like people are telling me off instead.
My original post said tell me my common sense is right - that already suggests i know what the best option is. Instead I feel I am getting judged for making a post just to reassure myself that I was right in the first place. I was more looking for support not suggestions that i am being selfish or being berrated for making a flippant post :(
Can this whole thread be deleted please? It hasnt really fulfilled what I intended for it - people to just come in and say "your dreaming - dont do it" or "maybe you can if you want to".
I am not sure if this forum is for me - this thread seems to have been taken completely the wrong way instead of the carefree silly way i intended it. I have re-read my original post and I cant believe its been taken as me seriously considering the hormonal option....
Thanks for the responses that werent judgemental and berrating anyway....
Amethyst please dont be upset. I was actually going against the grain here and saying that yes it actually possibly could be doable. Im finishing up my fourth year next year and fully intend to study with my newborn...luckily enough I can do some externally as well as through the uni and i dont feel like I wont be giving baby or Sammy or any of my other kids the attention they deserve. Motherhood is just one part of me...as no doubt it is for you. I feel better for doing other things..love the intelligent interaction and love having things to do. I work better when im busy!
Goodluck with whatever you may decide. No one knows whats best for you but you!!!!:hug:
Jo
Hey Amethyst I did it! And I'd do it again too. (looking into doing my masters at the moment)
I was doing uni part time (2 subjects) and working 2 days a week while preg. I did defer right at the end as I had complications, but had bub in the Nov and started back following feb (not working though). DH great support. Just have a plan for those times when you are tired.
My 2 cents . ...go with what your body says and don't get dishearted by others
:D
Amethyst, sorry if what I wrote was upsetting to you, it was not intended to be. I was not aware that your original post was intended as light hearted or that you were looking for an affirmation. I interpreted from the perspective that you had not made up your mind and were simply looking for suggestions, thats the problem with writing everything we don't get to hear each others tone or voice or see each others body language :).
All I was trying to offer was my experience. I ended my last post by wishing you luck with your decision making. Which ever option to go with will be the best one for you I am sure. I again offer you my well wishes for both your study life and family. You sound like an intelligent and informed person who knows what is best for her at heart. Your children will be lucky to have a mum who is able to think things through from all angles. :)
I think everyone posted to this thread in good faith Amethyst and to help you. I am genuinely sorry that you didn't feel this way and hope you post again. No-one was being deliberately judgmental to your situation. BB people are good people and you are very welcome here- people aren't setting out to hurt you. They just offer their opinion, thoughts and experiences to assist others.
Amethyst,
You can do it. I am currently in the process. I am studying Business (Majoring in Human Resource Management). I should be completing my degree 2009 July. This semester, June exams, my baby girl was 2 weeks when I sat for my first exam. I was pregnant and attending classes and exams last year in November. I started studying on the 2nd or 3rd day after giving birth. I despised the comments I received from the Nurses, while in hospitals. Their comments were discouraged considering the fact that they have already obtained a degree. I found it even more insulting because I felt as though they underestimated me because of my age and having a baby. Nevertheless, I had to defer my second exam. My baby girl was 2 months when I sat for the second exam. I was taking 3 subjects last semester. Now, my baby girl is 3 months and I am taking 3 subjects. I am turning 22 this month. I believe you can do it. Ignore all negative comments. Mind you, I only have my husband for support. No doubt, I find myself playing with the baby at times instead of doing extra studying. She should be 6 months in November, when my exams are scheduled. My husband was the only supportive person. My classmates were surprised I came to the exam without a tummy, Lol. For me, this is only a temporary disadvantage which I am taking it as an advantage, for the better future of my darling daughter. I want to provide for her. Give her everything she wants. In the meantime, I have to make baby noises from my study desk. But once I am finished, she has my undivided attention.
Macca, no your post was one of the helpful ones and i didnt feel at all hurt by your reply. The way you responded confirmed what was in the back of my mind. So thank you.
Deidre - maybe people werent being deliberately judgemental, but there was definitely judgemental tones to some of the responses. Your first reply was awesome by the way, what you wrote hit home and resonated within me.
I guess the implication that I was being selfish really upset me. Why should my life need to be put on hold or stopped because I want to be a mother as well as have my own identity? and shouldnt other mothers be supportive and compassionate towards other mothers who are trying to bite off more than they can chew - shouldnt they be the ones who understand better than anyone how hard things are, trying to wear so many hats in today's society?
Maybe I did overreact slightly, but i really dont care to read that i need to think about the other students in the class (would they consider me?), i really dont care to be judged against other mothers who studied and didnt ensure their child or baby wasn't a distraction (i'm neither that selfish or irresponsible) - i didnt ask for those responses, i asked whether from a studying mother's point of view was it possible and please tell me I am nuts for remotely considering the possibility....
I wish the ones who have posted since my last post had come along earlier - i am in awe that so many mums have done it and succeeded. It is possible and its also darn hard - and that is what I wanted to know!
Girl 22 - wow well done! I am really impressed. I'd be in the same boat - no other support but my DH. Its great to hear that with determination, anything is possible. Good luck with the rest of your studies!
Amethyst,
You are expecting in November, right? How old are you and what do you plan on studying? Remember, uni starts late Febuary, so you have time to send with the baby. I am a first time mum.
Nah... Not pregnant yet. I plan on studying part time next year which will be one contact day a week only, and TTC around june so that the baby is born early in 2010 - take that year off to spend with bubs and then finish the second half of my studies in 2011. Thats the logical sane plan...
The crazy plan was to try and get pregnant between now and December so the baby would be born mid second semester next year, aiming for say August, so its before exams in november and the baby is small enough to be a sleeping feeding thing - again taking it to uni one day a week. That the trying to have my cake and eat it too plan....
I'm in my mid 30's - i dont have many baby years left ahead of me, which explains the fact I am questioning whether I can do the two things simultaneously - I dont feel i necessarily have the luxury of achieving one thing at a time. I need the career and I would like another child. I cant see which can be placed on hold at this stage in my life and would hate to sacrifice one for the other just because I made a choice to be an older parent and was stuck in a career path that unfortunately turned out to be the wrong choice for me. If i knew then what I did now, i would have studied the right uni course after highschool and i would have started my family when I was in my early 20's.... hindsight's a beautiful thing!
Amethyst,
Sorry but what does TTC stand for? I am fairly new to this site. I have not caught on yet. What course do you plan on studying? To me, you sound very determined. Go for it. Don't sacrifice either one. I would advice you to juggle both and whoever calls you 'crazy' for doing so, you should make such comments your motivation factor. In the end, you will have had a baby and also a degree in another area of study.
Girl22: there is a list of acronyms (abbreviations) in the Forum help section.... that should help... I know how confusing it can be when you first join up :) TTC = Trying To Conceive
Amythyst: I'm sorry this thread has upset you and I hope I haven't contributed to this. What tends to happen in forums like this is that posters can respond to the situation rather than the person. I know it's hard not to take it personally sometimes. I guess it's a short-coming of the medium. Like Deidre said people rarely intend to be hurtful... it just seems that way due to a lack of intonation and body language... it's a limitation of the medium of online conversations. Posters often read a scenario like yours and respond too broadly... kinda using the subject as a "concept" rather than one belonging to a real living person with feelings and unique take on it IYKWIM (if you know what i mean). Because we often have child-generated chaos in the background as we type we also can post things too quickly and thoughtlessly. Not excusing this... just outlining why. Probably keep in mind that when a thread is started it often takes a life of it's own... you do kinda have to relinquish control to a certain extent. God knows how many threads i have started and the topic meanders all over the place... or I myself have gone off topic... once again: that's a limitation of the medium. Many people would have simply seen a thread about "studying with a newborn" and thought to themselves: Oh, I have an opinion on that... and not tailored it specifically to your situation.
Anyhow i hope you can continue to enjoy BellyBelly. Basically I would suggest you take what is helpful and dismiss the rest.... which is kinda how things work in real life too ;)
It would be great if you could make it work... whatever you decide... then you could post about some strategies and solutions that have worked for you... or have not worked for you. Studying with childen is kind of a hot topic here in BB and all perspectives and experiences are interesting! :)