What women look like...

We all see what women look like every day on magazines and newspapers. Many many of us look in the mirror and sob at how "wrong" our bodies are by comparison.

So here are two links so we can all see what women REALLY look like:

The Shape Of A Mother You can search for specific areas or just read by date - each entry includes pictures and a personal story.

Normal Breasts The breastfeeding/ex-breastfeeding mamas are in the lettered galleries, the pre-baby women are in the numbered galleries.

Enjoy :)

Bx

Great links Hoobley - what a shame the Shape of a Mother site has a Google ad for "Rule 1 of losing belly fat" in the bottom corner!
Love the breasts site too.

I know! I'm assuming the google links are there because google pay for the privilege and the actual searches are automatically generated by the terms in the blog titles. My gmail account does it too. Yesterday i was sending DP an email about the fact that i was ovulating and it gave me a link about early abortion! Bit much, but that's the "magic" of remote automatic search generation...

Bx

And what about us long, lanky "you look like a model" people? Are we not real now ;).

Great post Bec but I'm real and my body is the envy of many a model. Shame I don't have the face to go with it :). I'm just sick of people thinking I'm not real and I can't find clothes cheaply and the abuse you get about your size when you're like me is something you can't whinge about because taunting for being gorgeous isn't the same as taunting for not fitting in with those stupid (airbrushed) pictures.

If you actually look at the sites Ryn there are many skinny women there.

Bx

It's the use of the word "real" that annoys me - I've been doing the same vent for years now! I hate that many people consider me not real. Particularly clothes shops that will do size 30 but not size 8, and if they do then only in "petite" because 6' and size 8 just isn't real. Getting clothes (especially T-shirts that cover my near-flat post-baby tum) is a nightmare - if only I were shorter or fatter I'd be fine!

We're all women, we're all real, we don't need pictures to prove that!

Thanks Bec :) I do have insecurities about my breasts, although I know they're reasonably 'normal'. It's always nice to be reassured that you're not the only one!

That is exactly what I needed to see. I have many body issues and insecurities which seem to be getting worse since having my sons. I'm still feeding Oliver and have started to notice that my breasts are asymetrical and it's really been bothering me. It is wonderful to see pictures of woman who are not re-touched by computers.

Thanks so much for posting, those women are truely beautiful.

Ryn the "real" women on the sites are ALL shapes and sizes. Actually look.

I don't get why you're upset about this, there ARE women on there who have magazine-like figures, breasts, bums, faces, as well as other areas which aren't what the media would present at all, and women who have NO body parts who are magazine pretty and are nonetheless beautiful. There are big boobs, small boobs, tiny boobs, non existant boobs, perky boobs, saggy boobs, round boobs, long boobs, wide-spaced boobs, smooshed together boobs, symmetric boobs, assymetric boobs, gigiantic nipples, tiny nipples, pre and post nursing boobs, you name it. There are big bellies with masses of stretchies and section scars, flat toned bellies without a blemish, tiny waists, big waists, taut skin, apron bellies, big bums, tiny bums, toned bums, saggy bums, fat backs, skinny backs, bony chests, chubby chests, there are women who could have been pages in a fashion magazine with the head cut off (they're mainly anon pics), and women who say they spend their entire lives hiding under massive clothes because they feel so ugly. Every one of those women is real, and none is more real than the rest. The point of the sites is the diversity of normal reality, NOT that skinny women who happen to be the same shape as those in the magazines aren't real or worthy in some way. I seriously suggest you go and have a look, no one is left out, there is every type on there. Within 3 pages of boobs i'd found several sets JUST like mine, despite me feeling compared to my non-mummy friends i have huge misshapen saggy ones - many of those women hadn't had babies yet! It just shows a more realistic vision of womanhood, it does NOT exclude the media-friendly looking women from that vision.

Bx

This might be TOTALLY not what you intended, Bec ... but today I am happy to be me, because I could have looked worse, kwim?? Am I a vain cow or what!!!!!

Great links, I loved it ... just goes to show that EVERY woman is unique in her own way .. thin, fat, tall, short ..

Loved it!!

Bec, can I think you from the bottom of my heart for posting those links?

I'm sure DH thinks I'm weird for sitting here essentially looking at boobs... but I'd always struggled to gain acceptance of my body, and pre-pregnancy was pretty happy. However, the changes with pregnancy have really thrown me, especially after my disastrous bra shopping expedition!

Now... I back once more to feeling so much better about myself. I know I'm lop-sided, but I can see now that it's PERFECTLY NORMAL!!! And my breasts are actually quite attractive in their own unique way.

I don't think recovering my body image is going to be a one night process, but it is so nice to know that these images are there... and motherhood isn't doing anything different to me than it has to every other mother on the planet - blotchy skin, stretch marks, saggy bits... I am at least well back on the path to loving my body once more.

:hug: Thank you, Bec.

BW

Wow i am normal....but i am me...and no one but me can judge the way my boobs sag or my tummy has rolls.

I used to say im fat and feral....but looking at those pics..im still normal

Thank you so much Bec for showing others that everyone is NORMAL regardless if their shape or size

Yeah BW ... that is what I meant!!! I'm feeling sooooooo much better about myself!!

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I'm assuming the google links are there because google pay for the privilege and the actual searches are automatically generated by the terms in the blog titles.

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Yeah I have noticed that Google ads are often directly opposed to the topic of the webpage and pretty inappropriate at times! LOL
thanks again for the links, it's good to see the diversity of women's bodies for a change instead of the usual body types portrayed by the media - ultra skinny with boobs, or ultra skinny without boobs!

You're welcome lovely! I think sometimes we need to have a visual reminder of the parameters of normal - i counted the assymetric boobs on one page and came up with a figure of about 30% - that's A LOT! Being naturally blonde or red-haired is SOOOOO much rarer! I also smiled to read so many women say "my one boob is bigger" because unless you LOOKED for it, you totally didn't notice it! It was obviously something the women in question looked FOR (one of mine is slightly bigger, not a whole cup size though, yet it seems a HUGE differnce to me, DP despite extensive "investigations" just can't see it. lol) and thus notice all the time.

Nadine i don't think you're mean at all, one of the things i loved about the sites was seeing women with such different bodies and asking myself how *I* would feel if i were them. It made me really question WHY i believe a certain look is beautiful...and it's because of the media!!! Every single one of those women's bodies does what it says on the tin, and yet i would have thought some unbeautiful because of some twisted perception of "normal" i have had fed to my eyeballs all these years.

If anyone else is as obsessive as me, i recommend having a good couple of hours looking, after a while you stop feeling attachment to the shapes you first liked, and begin to see the real beauty in swirling stretchmarks and the comforting pendulousnous of large saggy mothers breasts...

Bx

:o I don't really know what to say! LOL.

I understand your gripe Rosehip-Fairy. Not that I'm the envy of any models - far from it! But if we were to say something like this is how a REAL mother feeds her child.. well.. imagine the reaction.

Why is there so much comparison with women? We are what we are. Some things we can change, others we can't. Can't say I enjoyed seeing those 'real' women any more than the 'fake'. *shrug*

I'm certainly wearing the battle scars of pregnancy, not so much of breastfeeding.. if anything that's given me boobs & nipples LOL. But I've never been sensitive to all the models in magazines and things (probably helps I've never bought them hehe) so it doesn't worry me too much. Of course I have bits I'd rather cover up, but that's ok.. easy enough to do. hehe.

I have more issues with my breasts then anything else...but some of those pics are a mirror image of mine.

1 bigger then the other, one higher then the other etc...the stretchies just add character :P

Im amused by the pics now!

Wow, so many diferent shapes and sizes..
Even though I know I'm totally normal, I seem a little abnormal now compared to most of those photos. ah well, i dont care!

WOW, i feel so much better now, i now know i had NOTHING to worry about. I am lucky, the weight from PG just dropped off me...and i dont have any stretch marks either...
I really had nothing to worry about.

Thanks for that :)

Before I was pregnant I was quite small breasted (10A-B) depending on my weight but since having children, WHOA! I reached 12DD about 3 months after my first was born and with my second I've become noticeably asymetrical - I'm at least a C on my left and a B on my right, but it's fine! It's not a drama! We come in all shapes and sizes :)

**Bump** :lol:

hoobley, you are a star! i've been trying to deal with my post-twin, post-caesarian breastfeeding body since my lovelies were born, and only succeeded in the last few years, post-40, lol. what a brilliant site! i'm sending links to my girls!

Wow, thanks Bec...

It has been difficult, these past 6/7 weeks accepting my new mummy body. I had anorexia for 7 years, fully recovered and weight restored beginning 2006, but since having Jazz I've felt that loathe for my body again. I'd never seen a post-pregnancy body uncovered. No one ever said that my belly would be jelly. No one ever told me I'd have extra skin. I know everyone says that your shape changes, but no one ever says HOW. It's a shock. Seeing these pictures just lets me know that this, too, is normal. I'm a bit squishy, a bit saggy, a bit dimpled, and my stretchmarks look like a window on a rainy day... before today I didn't know that other people looked like that too. I mean, I'm sure they did, but I never really knew. Oh goodness now you have me in tears :( Thank you Bec, it really has made my day.

Ryn, i don't think anyone is trying to say that gorgeous size 8 flat-tummy mummies aren't normal. Just to let us, who aren't that anymore, know that we are still normal. Pictures of model mums are plastered everywhere. Even the Johnsons amd Telstra ads show mums with newborns in hospital who don't look ANYTHING like I did in hospital. Its just good to finally see pictures that I, and others, who aren't picture perfect, can relate to...

You're welcome Leash. It's very early days with your body, you can expect massive changes yet. When DD was Jazz's age my boobs were a 36J, but they were down to a 34E when she was 5 months old. My belly was like unbaked bread then, now it's much better though still wobbly (i have good muscles, and not too much fat, BUT i still have extra skin so the fat isn't held as firmly and thus it's a bit wobbly...DD often gets in bed with me in the mornings to rub "Mummy's lovely wobbly tummy" so it still has fans ;)). THere's a lot one can do with hig-waisted control pants before then too! :)

I think the thing about size 8 mummies and size 24 mummies is that no-one is saying the former DON'T exist or aren't real. It's just that in magazines, on tv, in films, they are MASSIVELY over-represented, and the bigger baggier type of mummy isn't represented at ALL, or if she is it's some celebrity pictured 7lbs heavier and in trackies to "show" us how they've let themselves go. There are definitely women on both sites who are what i would consider modelesque - very slender, good tone, etc., but they are represented in a far true-to-life proportions. It's not about saying NO-ONE looks like that, it's about accepting that most people don't.

I love these sites, the more i look the more impressed i am. I think i'm gonna go out for a run, because however saggy/wobbly/bouncy various areas of me are, my body works and that's a fabulous thing :D

Loves to all you beautiful (all sizes and shapes, ALL of you!) ladies!

Bx

Sorry for not replying earlier.

I don't have a problem with ANY size. I also don't feel the urge to look at other naked women - I have an anti-urge for that in fact so will NOT be checking out that site. No matter why the picture was taken, I really don't want to see it.

My only problem was with the word "real". I know it's not because of Bec, but because of my own hang-ups. I'm sick of being not "real". I know it's my issue and no-one elses, but that word really upsets and offends me.

BTW, to be on TV I'd need a LOT of breast enhancement and probably a tummy tuck; while it is considered "flat" I know it was a LOT flatter beforehand and DS keeps grabbing the loose skin on it! I don't have a TV body, not at all (a super-trim model body, yes, but not a TV body). But I do have a real one and I HATE being told that I don't, especially by shops who "only stock for REAL women, sizes 12-30" and crap like that - so I'm not real or not a woman? Is that it? How is size 30 normal? I'm sorry if I offend because you are a size 30 but there are a LOT more size 10 women out there than size 30. Doesn't make either not real though.

You have your own body, it is YOUR body and it is REAL. So why be told "this is what a REAL woman looks like" when YOU are a REAL WOMAN and can just look in the mirror.

Maybe "this is what some other women look like" would have been better for me!

Given the amount of magazines that seem to exist just to photograph "celebrities" and their cellulite/spots, I can't see why anyone would consider air-brushing in films as something we don't know about.

ETA: I was told so much in pregnancy that I should be putting on more weight, that I wasn't big enough... blah blah blah... everyone compared me to every pregnant woman they'd ever known, I did feel like a freak then. But it was other people calling my REAL body having a REAL pregnancy a freak. My only solace then WAS pregnant models in the pregnancy/baby catalogues because it showed me that other people DO have pregnant bumps like mine, so I can see why other people need this sort of thing. I just see every woman as being beautiful in her own right and it's only being told we're freaky or not real that makes us wonder about it. (OK, I didn't see women calling me a freak as beautiful but YKWIM in general.) I've never subscribed to the media image of beautiful, but I suppose for most of my adult life I've not had people calling me a freak so I deal with things differently; teenage years were very different though, I was freaky for not having breasts then (same as when I was pg LOL), so I suppose that site may have helped. But then I wouldn't have looked; if I were deemed a lesbian for not having breasts then what would I be for looking at naked women? LOL.

My point is that no-one is 100% happy with their body and everyone gets called names or feels freaky because they're different. But we should concentrate on being nice to each other so we don't need things like this for our confidence. (My breasts are the same size, btw: if one were bigger than the other then I'd have a breast at last.)

I've edited. Maybe it'll help.

Loves

Bx

Omg just let me shout it out... I am beautiful.. I have a great face, infact I often get told I look like Taylor from Bold and the Beautiful, but I have stretch marks you could play snakes and ladders on, I have DD cup breasts that could feature on National Geographic, thighs that resemble playdough and I am sure if I was to flap them around I would have the beginning of tuck shop arms, but I don't care as all I have to do is look at my 3 beautiful children and it is so worth it. Even after losing my pregnancy weight I am still left with pregnancy baggage but heck I am happy. :lol:

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Omg just let me shout it out... I am beautiful.. I have a great face, infact I often get told I look like Taylor from Bold and the Beautiful, but I have stretch marks you could play snakes and ladders on, I have DD cup breasts that could feature on National Geographic, thighs that resemble playdough and I am sure if I was to flap them around I would have the beginning of tuck shop arms, but I don't care as all I have to do is look at my 3 beautiful children and it is so worth it. Even after losing my pregnancy weight I am still left with pregnancy baggage but heck I am happy.

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Great attitude
Thank your for sharing the sites. I am not over weight etc but since having my 2 dd's i am no way the same as i was before and i have lots of body issues, saggy tummy and boobs etc. I am left feeling alot better about myself after seeing that i am "normal" iykwim.

Lol at your National Geographic boobs Diamond. :P

Ryn, how about 'acceptabable' women? Because I think many people don't accept that the aftermath of pregnancy is an acceptable way to look. I'm sure the saggy baggy 'just gave birth' look wouldn't be acceptable to many advertising companies as a beautiful thing. But it's a realistic and acceptable way to look after having a child, just as looking like a model after birth can be a realistic and acceptable way to look.

I think it's wonderful that woman feel they can post their bodies, either in celebration of their 'battle scars', or as a step towards acceptance and peace about the changes in their bodies.

I think even our own language on this thread is very telling. How many of us confess to saggy boobs? Well check out the site, saggy compared to what? My boobs are saggier than they once were, but i could have said that when i was 12, because HAVING boobs meant my chest was saggier than it had been when i was 9 (when it was completely flat). I don't actually have saggy boobs, i have mothers boobs, they look like pretty much all the other mothers boobs on the site. Critical descriptive terminology colours our views of our bodies even when we're being quite positive.

"i love my saggy boobs" or "big bum" or "bony spine" all somehow imply that we are loving IN SPITE of our body's appearance, when in fact all of those things can be totally normal and not something to criticise in the first place. Does that make sense?

I have 2 stretchmarks i particularly love, underneath my pubic hair. I love them because i didn't have them the day before DD was born and part of me believes they were made as DD passed through my pelvis and i just LOVE that idea! LOL. Mad i know.

I just think our whole society and so much cosmetics and so on are all aimed at convincing us that our bodies aren't normal. Cellulite treatments, looking to make the 99% of women who have cellulite look like the 1% who don't? Stretch-mark creams (both prevention and appearance-improving) looking to help the 85% of women who have stretchmarks look like the 15% who don't because of GENETICS? Washes and soaps and deodorants for the genital area lest your vagina should start to smell like....a vagina. There are implications in all of these products. I have never bought any of them, but i still see them in the supermarket, i am still faced with that implication.

Bx

Fantastic, Bec! My DP is also thinking I'm weird for looking at boobs that he considers ugly on the internet. What he doesn't know is the years of looking at trashy magazines and fixating on the boobs in them, keenly aware that my boobs would never 'cut it' and they looked 'funny'.
When I had the 'model' figure and was quite an attractive younger person, I always thought my one 'failing' was my boobs. Geez, I wish I'd seen this back then so I could enjoy them, instead!
I"m at peace with my boobies now, because they are still being supremely useful, two years after having my boy :)

Well said Bec, and thanks for changing for me. I do feel a bit like I'm being daft about this but it's just something that really resonates with me.

I am normal FOR ME, which isn't normal for anyone else! I have huge bones, a boney spine, small breasts, gigantic feet, a hairy body, brown eyes and long toes and fingers. That's not a judgement statement, that's just me. I wouldn't go as far as saying I love my body, but it is mine, it is real, it's not changing for anyone! Well, maybe future babies. But that's different to wanting to change to fit in and be "normal" because we're each our own normal. Society norms... *blows raspberry*. For my age that apparently would involve getting very drunk every night. I'm not society normal. I'm me normal. And I like that. (This is the ONLY time anyone will hear me describe myself as normal, you may want to flag this post to read in years to come when I'm being my normal super-weird self LOL.)

I'm struggling with my flappy tummy. I've been much heavier than i am now but never had a big tummy. Now post baby there is a flap of skin i hate it. but it's good to see i'm not alone.

I think the point is that 6" tall size 8 women are OVERrepresented in the media and shorter/fatter women aren't really represented at all . . .