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I have told DH he can go out the next few weeks with his mates drinking/their houses etc.
I am 37 weeks with DD at home (he wont come home after - will stay at their house).
I dont really have a problem with it as i am tired as and will go to bed anyhow but I guess only worried if i go into labour and cant get in touch with him
IS anyone else in this situation?
Interesting question.
I'd be ok with it. Just make sure he has his mobile phone fully charged and switched on all night. If you go into labour you can call the ambulance and he can catch a taxi to the hospital, so he should have some taxi money on him as well. But there's a good chance you won't go into labour.
You know what? I don't think I would be ok with it.
I have two friends who have given birth in an hour or less (one of them was 20 mins!!!:o ) and if DH is trying to get a taxi, or out somewhere and can't hear me on the phone, I'd be worried he's going to miss it.
But it is my first so I have no idea how long or short it will be.
Also I am a complete princess ( :lol: ) and I would want him by my side as soon as I started feeling twinges, membranes ruptured, whatever.
My DH wanted to go interstate for a boys trip (scuba diving so very little drinking involved) in Jan, when I will be about 36 weeks - and I said I didn't want him to go! He said he could catch the first plane back etc etc but I just don't want to risk not having him around.
But as I said, I am a princess :D
yeah i let dh let his hair down a few weeks before the birth .. the week before my due date he was out with his mates .. and the week dd was born , he went out drinking ...
everytime i tell him that he has to come home around 1am ... usually stumbles in around 3 am .. im never happy about it , but he is an adult ...
just make sure he is contactable easily and ask him to tone it down a bit , although its unlikely that men would listen to us :lol:
Kuraiza - it is hard as how can you know when you will go into labour. With DD he missed my labour and walked in during crowning as i progressed so quickly.
Ocean - interstate mmm no thanks! hehe that would definately be a no go!. hehe. with DD he had a business trip to attend when i was far along and he told him boss i had to go with him! or he wouldnt go! lol
I think it depends on your DH, and how heavy of a drinker he is. I would have no issues with my DH doing it, as he is not a big drinker anyway, and given the situation, probably wouldnt have any more then one or two, so he can still drive.
Although, the chances are, you wont go into labour. Perhaps someone at the house wont be drinking? Or, you can get one of your DH's friends partners to be on stand by to pick him up if need be, and bring him to hossi. But, a drunk DH mighten be much use anyway.
OP - Interstate, def not. Wouldnt go for that. Business, well, not much you can do about it, but, for pleasure, then no way.
I was ok with it.
When pg with DS we were 2 hours from our birthing hospital. I went & stayed with the ILs while DH stayed here & worked.
He had to travel 2 hours. Made it 1.5 hours before DS was born. Labour was 5 hours long! Afte 18 & 30 for my first two!!
with DD I actually encouraged my ex to go out for hsi 21st - he came home at 5 in the morning sayng that he was flying in a hot air balloon :rolleyes:
then he fell asleep in the bath and i had to pull him out - yes, i literally at 39 weeks, pulled a fully grown "man" out of the bath (was scared he would drown, should have left him!) DD was born two days later.
This time round - no way - but DH wouldnt be contemplating it anyway.
My labour with DD was 2hrs. 4cm-birth.
He isnt a huge drinker... but i know he would probably sleep through his phone.
Oh well what can you do. Life doesnt stop does it.
Well it depends, then, how far away he'll be. Will he be further than he would be while he is at work? I suppose, though, when you've been drinking you do sleep more heavily, so he might not hear the phone.
If you had such a quick labour last time, maybe it's not a great idea for him to stray too far from home for an all-nighter. I'd say he should go out drinking, but he shouldn't stay out all night long. There's no harm in coming home by 12. It is a little bit of a limitation, but since you're sacrificing 9 months without alcohol ... Also, coming home by 12 means he can't drink all night long. I wouldn't want a wasted man by my side stinking of beer when I'm in labour, that's for sure.
I wouldn't considering how fast your previous labour was. Life does go on but this is about PRIORITIES!
If he must go, I think he needs to be contactable and also able to get to the hospital when he's needed (i.e. he can go out but not get so p!ssed that he can't drive).
I wouldn't and don't have a problem with it - having said that though, he knows that regardless of how much he has drunk and what time it is, I need to be able to contact him so if he was going to drink so much or sleep so heavily he wouldn't answer it might be different. Last weekend (I was 389 weeks that day :) ) we went to a Grand Final BBQ down on the coast - a drive of at least over an hour to our hospital..... he said Oh I'm not taking beers with me because I will have to drive.. well guess who drove him home later that night! AND I was having major back pain all night! :rofl: ah the things we do for the ones we love!
Up to you really hun but I would make sure that there is some way you can be in contact if you need to. :hug:
My Dp was hungover when i was induced :rolleyes: it was celebratory drinks apparently
once again :rolleyes:
Drinking that late on was outlawed in our household.
There was no way I was going to have a drunk in the labour ward with me. I really can't think of anything worse than going through that with him standing next to me reeking of Jim Beam.
My DF was happy to go along with it. This rule only came into force when I hit 37 weeks.
I was however a little paranoid about drinking and pregnancy because of the story of a girl I used to work with.
She got pre eclampsia which very quickly went into eclampsia. She was in a lot of pain as her organs were starting to be affected and all her drunk husband could say to her was - it can't be the baby it's way too early, it must be something you've eaten. Fair enough she was only in the second tri. Her mum came and took her to hossy (1. because he didn't think there was anything wrong & 2. because he was way to drunk to be behind the wheel) and she had an emergency c section soon after while he was sleeping it off at home. I think he just might've copped an earful when she recovered many weeks later.
I would let Adam, but he isnt a big drinker, and is very reliable.
But when I had Kane, a mum came in around midnight, ( I was in the nursery pumping!) in full labour, followed later by a drunk partner. He was a complete pain in the a$$. He was noisy, woke up babies, and the nurses had to kick him out of the whole hospital and call security to keep him away.... how charming... and something to consider if your DH will be drunk.... ;)
TBH my DH wouldn't want to go out drinking this late in the piece...
purple - we are the same.
DH isnt a big drinker and very responsible when he does.
They arent nights of benders.. it think just a chance to see his mates before bub arrives (as he knows then,,, mmmmm these nights will be few and far between!)
HELL NO!!!! 1) wanted him around in case i went into labout 2) didnt want a drunk in the room with me 3) alcohol on breath and coming out of skin and clothes would have made me sick, 4) if i had to go through pain he could cope with missing a few drinking sessions.
Yes I'd be ok with it (on the understanding that it's not going to happen very much once bubs is born ;)) provided you have both worked out a plan B. ie - not only someone you can call but someone who can go and get him if he's not answering phone, etc. Also I'd be negotiating the extent of the drinkies, ie a few leaves you able to sober up in an hour or so but any more than that (ie getting sh*tfaced) is not acceptable. KWIM?
No way!
He has a responsibility to me and his family a that stage of PG. Bub could arrive at any time and he needs to be both available and fully functioning. Both would not happen if he went out for a few drinks.
When I was 36 weeks pg with Ds3 I had a show and some mild contractions.. Dh had a work thing on and still went.. I was furious! (contractions were noted by the hosp so they weren't just maybe contracts)
I personally think I would ask him to drink steady and maybe stay sober enough to be able to get to the hosp.. even if he takes a Taxi not drive.. Just ask him to take it easy and be aware it might happen
no way i gave birth at 37 weeks!! and i knew i was gonna go early as well.
Hmm. Well it depends on details I think, how many drinks and how far away etc. My DH isn't a big drinker at all, has never actually been drunk in his life! and hasn't been out to go drinking ever in the 4yrs we've been together. He has gone out for dinner or a movie and then had a drink or 2 with the boys. So I think I would feel comfortable with him going out but I would want him home for the night (he would always be home by 10.30-11 at latest) and I wouldn't want him intoxicated at any point!
You had a very quick 1st labour and 2nd will probably be quicker, while unlikely you'll go into labour 3weeks early it certainly could happen. Aside from worrying about your DH hearing his phone and making it to the hosp what about if he is too drunk to be helpful or remember the birth? Or if the hospital makes a fuss because he is drunk? What if anything happened and decisions need to be made kwim? Also if you go into labour you might need help getting last things packed, things in the car and sorting out your dd
Maybe DH could do something else to have a last boys time before having a newborn again. Maybe you could get someone to watch dd and have a dad where u go out with the girls and he goes with the boys. GoKarting or something but not too far away and no alcohol etc
No
Daddies don't go out drinking till wee-morning hours, while mommies stay at home ... just MO. It's not on.
To tell the truth .. my husband has a drinking problem and he drank right through my first pregnancy until dd was about 9 months old. Thankfully he has stopped now and are recovering, but NO I would not have gave him permission to go out drinking with mates.
I WOULD however give him permission to go and do some fishing/diving/ab-sailing (whatever he fancy) just to give him a break and get some "him" time (yeah, men need that too ;) ) But I'll have in reachable .... just in case baby decide to come early.
We have this guy that is a regular at our shop, old guy, very lovable. He was a full-blown alcoholic in his younger years. Here is what happend to him:
He was working the mines when his wife went into labour. His boss took him home and let him shower ... but once home, they "enjoyed" a celebration drink ... which quickly turned into more than just a celebration ... quick visit to the liqiour store ... quick drink at the bar. He got to the hossie eventually .. SMASHED out of his skull. Asked the janitor mopping the floors where the lady is that is giving birth. The janitor pointed to one of the rooms and he just stormed in and grabbed his wife's hand. She was about 2 minutes away from giving birth and was in alot of pain, but he held her hand, said nice words to her and urged her to push. The baby was born and the Dr turns to him and says: "Congratulations Mr Brown, it's a girl" ... That's when it hit him ... he is not Mr Brown ... he is Mr Keyser :o So the woman finally looked at him and noticed that he is not her husband. He was then escorted to HIS wife in the next birthing suit ... she had already given birth, he missed it. Funnier even more ... Mr Brown was the owner of the liqiourstore's wife.
Here,here Iam with you hollo,totally agree with you,why should they be out with their mates,especially if you go into labour. Men just have it too,EASY!!!!!!!
:
lol must have been a small town?
what about if he is too drunk to be helpful or remember the birth? Or if the hospital makes a fuss because he is drunk?
Jas - DH doesnt drink like this. He has a couple with his mates - totally coherent.
But i hear you on the quick labour thing.! scary!
omg about the eclampsia story .. you never know whaty could happen , my dh would be let out , but i think he would be careful ...
BUT when Gabriella was 48 hours old , he had a work do (he organised it ) and i had to drive him there and then told him to be home at 1 .. i rung him about 2 and asked him where he was and he had missed the last train and was walking home , from brisbane to ipswich ... he got an earful when he got home and was summoned to the couch and was made to do all the house work the next day !!
also my sisters DH was drunk on the night she gave birth ,as soon as her waters broke , that was it he was as sober as sober could be ...
Lea - i think being in labour and having a baby would sober anyone up!
AND OMG walking from brisbane to ipswich!!
Well i can safetly say i dont have any feelings that i am going to be having this baby in the next 24 hrs so ....
Best of luck PP. My DH had his last "night out" before DS2 was born when I was 36 weeks. DS2 was born 3 days later.
lol! thanks mel! hehe.
Well i thought his last day out was the bucks night a few weeks back, then the bledisloe, then drinks... oh well maybe tonight...
Ill just keep building up brownie points in my secret mind diary of event he goes to ! lol
Well PP I think it sounds like it would be fine I would just maybe think about a few things-
1. Could DH stay close to home/the hospital just in case
2. Could he come home to sleep so there's no chance of him sleeping through a phone call
3.Could he space his drinks so that he is always able to drive in case you need him to come get you to go to the hosp.
Hope your DH has a fun night and it all works out, I'm sure it will!
My DH is a groomsman in a wedding 4 days before I'm due - and it's 2 hours from home! I'm invited too and will probably be there, but I've told him he's not allowed to drink so much that he's smashed in case I go into labour. And if I do go to the wedding, I'll be taking someone else with me who can drive us home in case I go into labour and DH has had a few too many to drive.
thanks jas
sounds like a good plan gypsy! :) i hope you make it! :)
Pink,
Hmmm I can see that this is a touchy subject for some, I'm lucky DH rarely if ever drinks and doesn't go very far and always has a phone! In saying that he travels quite a way for work and is on call, he could easily miss the birth!
Problem is that there are so many varibles and looks like your birth this time will be fairly quick! I'd be putting a phone restriction on him that he needs to have it on if he goes out, surely if you kept ringing someone would hear it!!!!
We just can't win can we!!!!!
Snoopea
I have to say ... a few years ago I was at a friends home bbq dinner & there was a woman there with her partner ... her due date was that day & it was her 1st baby ... she & everyone else watched her partner get drunk to the hilt ... even after she begged him not to get drunk :wall:
She was so miserable & incredibly anxious ... it was so heartbreaking to watch her worry ... as she ended up driving herself home unwell & in the heat :doh:
IF it was me I wouldn't take the chance ... even if my partner isn't a heavy drinker which he isn't !!
well i am still here... still pregnant lol...
Glad to hear you didn't pop last night!!!!
I'm still here with you!!!!!
Hmmm when will these bundles arrive???
Snoopea