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Hi Girls,
I was just wondering if any of you who chose to bottle feed your baby from birth ever felt guilty about it? I am going to bottle feed my baby from birth and people have been telling me I should be breastfeeding & that it will take me ages to lose weight blah blah blah and that how can I bottle feed this baby when I breast fed DD1?
Also for those of you who did bottle feed, did you have any problems losing your baby weight afterwards?
Thanks
Hi hun,
I bottle fed DD1 from around 16 hours old. I wasnt able to BF at all, nothing would come out and i got no help from the hospital staff, they suggested i FF.
Do i regret it.or feel guilty....YEP! She is now nearly 2 years old and i look back on her birth day til now and wish id tried harder and found other support and not listened to my heart or the hossy staff.
I then said to mself DD2 would be BF no matter what....it wasnt to be...BUT she was having EBM and formula for the first 3 weeks of her life so that made me feel like id succeed a bit more.
IMO if yo want to FF then go for it...dont think you HAVE to BF because thats what everyone around you thinks you should. Its your body and your choice.
As for loosing the weight...i had no time between #1 and #2...they are less then 11 months apart in age....between #2 and #3 ilost a bit..but nothing id admit to be happy about. BF can help loose the weight....but im not sure it works that way for everybody. I know friends who have BF for around 10-12 months and still not lost much at all.
I bottle fed my DD from 3 weeks and never felt guilty. She got all the nutrients she needed from formula and has always been healthy. Every situation is different though, only a mother herself should listen to her own intuition and not to others.
As for weight, I am now 2kgs under what I was when I fell PG.
You are going to feel the pressure even more once you have had the baby!
I would recommend exploring the possibility of breastfeeding and making your decision an informed one. YOu may have a reason for not wanting to bf but upon investigation your issue maybe fixable.
I only bf DD1 for 6 wks and gave up, in a way I regret this big time because I did not seek any help. I bf DD2 for 15wks, better but not perfect. In both cases my girls have been happy on formula so I am content with my decision.
I have a couple of friends who decided to ff from birth and I can honestly say that their kids have not suffered from it at all. They did get a few looks from the bfing mums at playgroup though!!!!
Whatever you decided as long as mum and bub are happy then so be it.
DS was bottle fed from 3 days old - lost the weight no problem, plus a little more.
DD was bottle fed from birth - am losing weight now.
I don't really believe that BFing helps lose weight for all women - doesn't seem to work for any of the women in my family!!!
As for guilt.... I don't feel any guilt - but saying that - will make an effort to BF #3 as that will be my last child and I will be a SAHM then.
Thanks for your replies and thoughts girls.
I breast fed DD1 for 5 months but always had a low milk supply no matter what I tried and I did seek help from a lactation consultant. Because of the low milk supply I didn't enjoy breastfeeding at all so I think this is why I want to bottle feed from day one.
Goodluck Leigh...enjoy your new bub:) I have low supply too, it is a struggle
Is that the only reason why you would FF from birth? It might not be like that this time round. Anyway, it's up to you hun and only you can make that decision. I had to FF my last one when he was a few days old as I had no milk and he was getting dehydrated. I have no idea why it never came in though when it did with the others. As for guilt, I don't hold any guilt this time as it was completely out of my hands, so it wasn't a choice I made to go to FF. And as for everyone else's opinion, well that doesn't matter either because it wont matter which one you do there will still be people who say you should be doing the other.
I never breastfed. It was just something I knew I didnt want to do. It was hard when I was pregnant because I copped alot of negativity about it and I don't think anyone had a right to stick their nose in. Fair enough to say how good breastfeeding is but its your body and your the mumma. Formula is fine for babies and I have never heard anything go wrong with it aside from if you need to switch. And you know that your bubba is getting everything he or she needs in each bottle.
So no I dont feel guilty although for the first few days when I was emmotional and tired I did a little but mostly only because of what others had said and made me feel like I wasnt going to be a good enough mum.
I lost the weight easily enough and like someone above said - a little more :)
Sam, I agree, people make you feel so bad for not BF'ing. I never once felt any guilt, my DD is so healthy and happy, that's all that matters to me! No way I was ending up with PND because I couldn't breasfeed!! Bottle was fine and kept me and Bubs happy :D
^ I know , its horrible the way some people will look at you for not Breastfeeding! Someone actually told me my daughter would die if I formula fed. Its rediculous and ovbessly when your pregnant you need as much support as you can get rather then other mums looking down on you :(
My daughter has never had a problem either , shes a very happy and healthy little girl :D
DD was on formula "top ups" in the hospital after she was born as it seemed nothing was coming out of my breasts. So she stayed on formula from day 1.
DS went onto formula on day 1 aswell due to not attatching well an hour after birth, none of the midwives helped me when I told them he didnt seem to be interested, they just told me where to find the bottles (I'm still quite peeved about that) as it turned out I would have been able to feed this time, I expressed a little on day 5 but he was used to the bottle & refused to attatch so he's continuing on formula.
With DD by the time I got home from hospital (Day 5) I had lost all pregnancy weight plus an extra 2kg.
With DS by the time I got home from hospital (Day3) I had lost all pregnancy weight plus an extra 5kg. Unfortunately I have been "eating for 2 since LOL & have put a kilo back on but it looks more like 5kg! Very frustrating!!
So it very much depends on the person, I lost the weight with no worries but my friend who breastfed still couldn't lose hers over a year after the birth of her DD.
With DD I didnt feel guilty about formula feeding as I thought it was my only option (others did a good job of trying to make me feel guilty alot though)
With DS I have felt guilty because I wish I had of tried harder in the hospital & got the staff to help me, I know I could have fed him if I had of presevered (sp?)
I say do what you feel is right for YOU. Everyone is different & sometimes the stress of trying to breastfeed can take over when the baby will be perfectly healthy being on formula from day one (My children are living proof of that!)
Good luck & enjoy your new baby... not long now!
LEIGH - OMG you are nearly there already ! YAY!!
As a b/f mum - I still struggled to lose weight inbetween bubs anyway, that's the way my body works boooohooooo ....
Also, IMO each b/f relationship is different with each child. My sister FF both her kids from a week old and although we had different views, I could see how heartbreakingit was for her to keep trying to B/F - lots of things contributed. SO instead I just shut-up and supported her - which is what good friends/family should do!
As long as YOU are comfortable with the decision you make, try not to weigh in on what other people say.
Wishing you sooo much good luck for the coming weeks and can't wait to see your BA!
Leigh- Your story sounds very similar to my Mum's. She tried bfing me from birth but had a low supply and we had all sorts of dramas. Long story short, she ended up bottlefeeding me from 2 weeks and she thinks it was the best thing she has ever done. I do have ezcema and hayfever but who knows if that has anything to do with her not breastfeeding me. My Mum bottlefed my 2 younger brothers from birth and they are the healthiest, happiest kids.
It is completely up to you hun and noone but you can make this decision. You need to do what you are comfortable with. Make sure you take your bottles and formula to hospital so you're all prepared. You never know you may change your mind once there. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.
i FF form birth no regrets- my son is helathy i am happy - he had very few colds if any. i also lost weight easily too.
you need to just do whatever makes you happy
happy mum= happy bub
This is what happened to me with my girls I only BF DD1 until 4 mths but knew I had no milk at 3 days but I tried to do the " Right " Thing and keep going... It didnt help that she wouldnt take the bottle when I tried to supp feed her... It wasnt until she was 4 mth and basicly straving that she took the bottle ( she had two bottles so she was very hungry )...:
With DD2 I knew that I didnt have enough milk from day one so I BF and FF from birth... once again only managed to BB until she was about 3 mths, but as she already had a bottle it wasnt so bad...
As for guilt I felt guilty with DD1 but that was because I could feed DS and couldnt feed DD so felt I was not helping my child grow as she was under weight and wouldnt feed... But with DD2 I knew that as soon as she took the bottle at birth I was helping her get the right amount of food, so have felt no guilt...
I am planing to try to BF again with #4 but wont feel guilty if I cant... You can only do what your body lets you, there is no need to feel guilty about it....
Hi Girls,
Thanks for your replies. I ended up having my baby (little girl) on Sunday at 37 wks. I have been formula feeding & haven't had any dramas. She is such a good sleeper (probably due to being formula fed).
So far I don't feel guilty for formula feeding. I do have some friends who are against formula feeding and I am a bit nervous to tell them that that is what I have decided to do, but in the end it is my choice!!! Thanks for all your support.
Glad to hear that everything is going well so far for you. Don't worry about what people have to say about it - opinions are like bums - everyone's got one. It wouldn't matter what you did, there will probably always be someone who doesn't like it, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter because she's your child, not theirs.
Congrats!
I BFed my girls to 6 & 4 weeks as I had alot of troubles. I always felt guilty.
Now with DS he is still BFed at nearly 8 months & now I feel like people are thinking 'are you ever gonna stop?'
Its your choice, noone elses. Goodluck.
aw congrats on having your little girl :)
Well done Leigh. I never felt guilty at all. Makes you happy when you don't carry that guilt doesn't it? In my opinion (and not everyone would agree), feeding is only one small part of the rest of their lives. Take care xx
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Congratulations Leigh
:)
Well done for going with what you felt most comfortable with, and not succumbing to pressure to go with something that you didn't want to do.
:hug:
Don't worry girls, I formula-fed my first bub from birth (long, long story and a lot of reasons behind it) and I have never, ever regretted it, nor felt the slightest bit of guilt about making what I know was the right decision for both my daughter and I. I get really tired of breastfeeding advocates sticking their noses in and looking down on mums who formula feed, for whatever their reasons (and I know the reasons are so much more and varied than 'I'm too lazy to breastfeed') - we formula-feeding mums love our kids just as much as breastfeeding mums and we make our decisions based on what our own personal circumstances are, and we know that our decisions are in the absolute best interest of our kids, nothing more, nothing less.
Of course I support mums who breastfeed, it's a hard job and I applaud those who have great difficulty getting it established but stick it out until it works, but I don't think there is any reason for anybody to feel like they are a failure or a bad mother for choosing to formula-feed.
My story was that I suffered a massive post-partum haemorrhage giving birth to my daughter, and it was only today when I talked about it here that someone pointed out to me that milk is a blood product and losing so much blood would have affected my supply. I also had needles in my arms that prevented me from holding my daughter properly, so we couldn't establish her attachment soon enough and by the time we went home, my milk had nearly dried up before it began and I'd had to feed her formula to stop her starving to death. I didn't care, I knew it was better to have a formula-fed bub than a weak, dehydrated, starving one, so I had no qualms about stopping off at Priceline on the way home from hospital to pick up a tin of S26 Gold and a few extra bottles (we'd already bought some and a steriliser in case BF didn't work out for me). I also got a breast pump and some nipple shields (I have always had extremely sensitive breasts, to the point where I sometimes cry while wearing a sealtbelt if it rubs against my chest the wrong way, and my husband isn't allowed to touch them in any way) and tried my best to get a supply going, but we were staying with my parents for a few months and my inconsiderate mother wouldn't refuse guests when I was trying to BF (and if I was trying to give DD a feed and a guest came over, mum would ask me to stop so the guest could have a look at and hold the baby even when I told her I was trying to feed and to ask them to come back later on, and I wasn't comfortable with trying to BF in front of others yet), so I gave up on trying to latch DD on and instead expressed as much milk as I could.
However, I was soon exhausted as she was waking every two and a half hours for a feed, and it was too exhausting trying to get enough sleep, recover from a traumatic birth AND spend so much time expressing and storing milk, and besides, no matter how much milk I expressed it never seemed enough for her, so at six weeks I started cutting her down from half-breast half-formula feeds to all formula and she has never, ever had a problem.
I was a little bit worried about her getting antibodies etc from breast milk because she was born in the middle of that horrific flu season that was going around in 2007 (when several people died) and everyone in my family (including my husband and I) were very ill, but she never even got a runny nose. Her immune system is impeccable, she is incredibly smart and she has always been a beautiful, chubby little thing who loves her feeds and will happily take them from mum, dad, nanna, poppy, whoever (which is good for me because I can take a break from her when I need to without worrying that she won't take a bottle from anybody else).
I lost most of my pregnancy weight in the first two months after having her, but then I put on a good 30kg during the pregnancy so I'm not at all surprised that I still have a few of those kilos hanging around (not that I've tried very hard to lose the weight either, I MUST start exercising!).
I'm having another bub in May and I intend on doing what I did with DD - expressing breast milk (my mum looked at it when I was expressing and told me it was 'amazing quality', really rich and creamy and good), but if it turns out that the new bub is destined to be formula-fed, then so be it. I will make the decision based on what is best for this baby, and for me, and I know it will be the best decision, so anybody who wants to look down their nose at me because I didn't 'persevere' with BF can stick it in their pipe and smoke it.
I just want to give a big hug to the ladies out there who are made to feel like failures because their experiences with BF didn't turn out well for them, and so feel guilty for 'not doing the right thing by their babies'. Pfft to that - of course you are doing the right thing, you are making sure your baby has the best nourishment you can provide, and I have never noticed a difference between formula-fed and breast-fed babies (other than that FF bubs tend to be a bit fatter, but that's good because if they get sick they have a bit of extra weight they can afford to lose!!). It won't affect them in the long run and I'm sure it's only propaganda from BF advocates that tries to tell us all that they'll end up sickly, retarded and whatever.
Hear, hear gothmum!!
Great post!!
i have a happy, healthy 11 week old baby girl who just happens to be bottle fed - I have suffered enormous bouts of guilt about this, mostly after visiting the clinic or, sadly enough, other mums. I am currently sitting thru mother's group where 90% of the discussion relates to breastfeeding, so once again, am feeling like part of a minority group. However i know the decision to bottle feed my baby was the right one for her, me and my family. It makes me very angry that no one explains that breast feeding doesn't work for everyone. I recently caught up with the girls from my antenatal class and the (lovely) midwife who ran the group attended also. When the topic of bottle feeding cameup, she advised that she also bottlefed from an early age, despite having all intentions of breastfeeding for 12-18 months. When I asked why this was never discussed during antenatal classes, she advised that the midwives running the group are not allowed to discuss the cons of breastfeeding in case it causes some mothers to decide not to BF when they are perfectly capable of doing so. To a degree i can understand this, but i know that if i had of been even slightly prepared for the fact that breastfeeding doesnt work for all of us, I would not have struggled for so long = both emotionally and physically!!
*sigh* anyways, that is just my rant for the evening, so once again, thank you gothmum for a common sense post!! (and thanks for that hug :lol: )
I was not going to breastfeed and took formula to hospital. However after bubs was born I did breastfeed while I was in hospital because of the enormous pressure the midwives put on me and then swicthed to formula when I got home. Looking back being a first time mum it was hard to cop the looks and comments from those people who think its thier right to advocate one or the other. I had one midwife saying formula will hurt your babies digetsive system and another saying you cannot do both its one or the other so I ended up a very upset confused first time mum. My DS has happily guzzled his formula and we have enjoyed our feed times just as much as when I was breastfeeding him. Just remember its your choice and bubs will be happy and healthy either way. As for the weight I'm 59kg with a 4mth old so yeah weight comes off with excersie.. I was bottle fed from my mother and I have been extremely healthy all my life. up until I was pregnant I was skinny and althetic. I've never had any food or allgery, weight issues.. .. A friend of mine who lectured me on breastfeeding feeds her 4 year old milo for dinner because he refuses vegetables!Your childs health will ultimatley come from his entire upbringing so please dont feel guilty.. Feel empowered by the fact that your a mum and only you know whats best for your bub xoxox