help! co-sleeping not working that well anymore

just need some advice. our DD is almost 10 months old and we co-sleep. she has not been sleeping through for approximately a month now, she wakes quite a number of times of a night but only tossing/turning and sometimes lets out a cry but when she realises we are there she'll go back to sleep rather quickly.

we love sleeping with our DD however we are finding the tossing/turning and not sleeping through is constantly waking us so we're a bit tired the next day.

she sleeps in her toddler bed through the day and is fine doing that but the night times she seems to be with us.

the only two things we seem to have changed in the past month are her night solids, she has them around 4.30pm, she will have 170g of vegetables and perhaps some custard (110g). the other thing we have done is cut out her dreamfeed but she used to go to bed at 9-10pm and we are finding she likes to go to sleep at around 7pm now.

any advice anyone has would be great, would it be developmental do you think?

thanks!

Hi QB ~ While I am no expert on co-sleeping, (we've only been doing it for 2 months!) I have a couple of thoughts on possibly why she is becoming unsettled...

DS (12) used to get really unsettled at night if he had custard for dessert after his dinner, so maybe try cutting that out for a few days?
Also, if he ate TOO much and too late in the day, he was horrible throughout the night. Seeing as she is going to sleep at about 7pm, maybe 4.30pm is too late for her to eat?
Could be developmental, at about this age they start to get worried when parents leave the room, so her waking but settling once she realises you are still there sounds right on the money.

I know I haven't given you any answers, Ive been searching for answers to a lot of things myself lately, but hopefully I have given you an idea of something to try.

All the best for you!

Hi queenbee,
I seem to be stalking your threads lol, we seem to be going through the exact same things!
We've started co-sleeping with DS as well, as he would not settle in his cot, now it seems as though he tosses and turns all night long and can't get comfortable, which means we don't get comfortable either!
I have no answers for you either (I wish I did!) but just wanted to give you a big hug and hope it gets better for you soon.
xxx

Could she be too hot or too cold where she is sleeping with you? Sometimes our DD (fair bit older at 2 1/2) when she is too hot tries to kick the blankets off from in-between us which disturbs us all! If she's cold she just snuggles over to me which I do wake up to sometimes.

Noah did/does the same thing. We found it was because one of us stirred. Now I just lay with him to get him to sleep and then I leave the room, he is in a single bed and I roll up a blanket and stuff under the sheet to act as a guardrail.

Don't have much else to offer though sorry :(

Could be a few things.

It seems that a lot of babies go through a 'tricky' sleeping stage at around 10-12 months. I know our DS did! Things had settled alot by the time he was 13-14 months.

She could be teething.

There could be a food/additive that is unsettling her.

She might like a dreamfeed again, maybe when you go to bed? If you're happy to give it to her that is.

You could always try her in her toddler bed at night, and see if she's more settled there. But if not, I'd just put her straight back in with you, because if you think it's tiring when they toss and turn in your bed, it's a whole lot more exhausting actually getting up to them during the night!

Sorry I don't have any solutions. But know that you're not alone! Our DS tosses and turns most nights (we co sleep for about half the night) and it drives my DH nuts! I'm a heavy sleeper, so it doesn't really bother me. I hope you can find some way of feeling more rested soon :D

She might be ready for her toddler bed full time.

Do you think shes hungry? I know if i ate a plate of veges for an early dinner i would be starving by 10pm ????? And seeing as you cut out the dream feed, maybe this is why she is so unsettled at night?

Do you think she's ready for big bed now? We all move during the night....maybe your movements startle her/wake her ???

Bit of trial and error i think. Do something different one night and see how you go....
Good luck...sleep is so precious ;)

I remember that my daughter would be restless if she was too warm ... & i would take a piece of bed clothing off to cool her down during the night when she woke us, then she would be fine ;)

I miss co-sleeping too! We didn't do it every night but probably did it every night from about 4am for a couple of months. She just seemed to grow out of it and if we put her in with us now she just tosses and turns, pushes us both to the edge of the bed and/or starts playing with our hair/noses but then immediately settles when we put her back in the cot.

But her cot is in our room so she knows we're still around. If she doesn't like her toddler bed at night, I wonder if you could do a transition stage and move it into your room for a bit then move it out when she's used to sleeping in that at night.

Could be the feeding whatnot too but just thought I'd explain why I think it might be developmental.

thanks everyone, you've all been great help. i might start a dreamfeed again and see whether that works. going to sleep on a mattress next to DD's toddler bed for a week to get her used to her own room and see whether that helps, this sleeping with us in our bed is just not working anymore. she moves up and hits her head on our bedhead. so tired :o

will miss my DP :(

do you think i am doing the right thing sleeping in her bedroom?

Sleeping in her bedroom could certainly help, all you can really do is try it and see how it goes.

I really second looking at the custard, check for an colouring called Anatto or 160b. It is a natural colouring but a baddy. I find it really affects my eldest. She can tolerate it occasionally, but not all the time. So you might find if it is in the custard that stopping it will not see an immediate result, it may take some time to get out of her system.

Good luck, I hope things improve for you :hug:

Both my girls were really restless co-sleeping with us from around 4 months old.

One thing that worked for me was consistency. If you choose to go down the toddler bed path, and you want to be with her initially be prepared to trial it for at least a week or 2. Don't to and fro from bed to bed, it just confuses them and they don't feel secure.

Your DD is still very young so I would tend to stay in her room for a while and slowly remove yourself over a month or so. Eventually she will just go to bed with a feed or cuddle and you won't need to be in the same room at all. I also found that having every sleep in the one spot helps make the transition easier.

Good luck

Thanks Bek, will be staying in her room for a little while. Good advice!

Astrid, the only thing she has in her custard is MAIZE THICKENER 1422, I googled it but there is no information on it having negative effects on children. Is this the same thing you are talking about?

Last night was the first night I slept in her room, went pretty well, much better than recent nights anyway. I did give her a dreamfeed though around 8.30pm but only 100mL and she sucked that down! Not sure if that helped the sleep.

She has 3 teeth down the bottom now, waiting for the other one to come through, any day now, perhaps that is disrupting her also. I guess this is all about trial and error!!

Thanks everyone!

DD is going well and has not yet been in our bed, it's been a few weeks now, she is loving the new toddler bed!!!

Well done. Your situation has made me re-think ours. DD comes into bed with me every night and I don't remember putting her there anymore. I am up with her at least 4 times a night but she does have teeth coming through.

all still working very well! It's been a while now in her own bed, all sleeps in there now, no problems at all and only going to her once a night or she comes into bed with me around 4.30am if at all, wakes at 5.30am though as usual. i really think she loves the extra room actually in her own bed.

Glad its working for you. My DS was the same around that age - he loved having extra room in his bed and still comes in to bed with us early morning but that's only because I find he sleeps longer beside me so I get extra sleep :)

we co-slept for the first twelve months, i think it was a good way to introduce her to sleeping.