Dumb question, but how often...

:redface::redface::redface:
Sorry if this is TMI :redface: I know they say BD every 2nd day during your fertile period, but is this the norm? I have very long cycles (average 42 days now after metformin) and don't have much CM, so don't really know when I am fertile :doh: Trouble is trying to BD at the right time. This is putting a lot of pressure on DH :redface: and myself. It is really affecting our relationship - to the point that I am wondering if we will ever get pregnant or should I just come to terms with being childless forever? Quietly contemplating IUI (or even IVF). It sounds pathetic, but we just can't do the deed when we need to! :( We are missing the fertile time each month and this is draining me. Any thoughts? How is everyone else coping? Any suggestion will help. TIA.

Hi belle,
:hug: it's awful feeling pressured to BD when you don't even feel like doing it huh.... I have been there.... i sympathise.

My advice to you? Just BD when you feel like it and try not to think too much about when you 'may' be ovulating (are you charting? taking your temp? that helped me) putting too much pressure on yourselves will only increase your stress levels and that certainly won't help with conceiving. I charted/temped for most cycles but sometimes when it got too much i stopped charting to have a break.....that helped too.... I think at the end of the day we will conceive when its the right time. Sometimes we can only control so much if that makes sense.... what is meant to be will be kinda thing...

TBH, each month DH and I would BD at the right times and started getting so upset about it it was stressing me out (and sometimes DH too) so by the 8th cycle, we just said "whatever" and i was so sick of trying !!! i was tired of it all.... exhausted from being stressed about it if that makes sense and we just BD whenever and I fell pregnant. When i least expected ;)

I sure hope it happens soon for you and please don't give up it WILL happen :hug:

I agree with Ren - just forget about "trying" and all the other stuff that comes with it and just enjoy being with ur hubby!
We did all the charting, temping, bding on the right day, doing every 2nd day - we tried it all and it never worked - and than we just gave up - went with the flo - only dtd once that mth and bingo - we fell pregnant!
I think it has alot too do with the stress that u put on urself and ur body that makes it not happen!

Thanks Renstar. I try not to stress, but there is so much pressure around us... everyone's hinting that I'm not getting any younger :( I feel like I just have to get pregnant soon!

I am charting, but that only tells me when I have already ovulated (my cycles are not regular so I can't predict when I will - there is a 3 week "iffy" window ). And when I realise I have ovulated I stress again because I have missed the boat yet again! :rolleyes: If I do suspect I may be fertile, DH is not in the mood :doh: Don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I don't chart and leave it to chance, I may never get there IYKWIM. :wall: :wall: :wall:

Yeah same here.... we DTD every 2nd day, or every day and tried EVERYTHING!! Even pre-seed LOL nothing seemed to work!!! I think because we wanted a baby sooo badly it wasnt happening because we were trying TOO hard.

At the end of the day, your body will let it happen when it's ready. You can do everything right and it still may not happen *that* month iywkim?

BTW, i started seeing an Acupuncturist for a few weeks and then I fell pregnant - have you tried that? I honestly believe it helped us to conceive........ give it a go. It's worth every penny.....

I hope you girls are right - seriously contemplating giving charting a break. Hey hj1981, Just noticed bub is due today!! :D How exciting - you will be meeting your bubba soon! Good Luck and keep us updated.

Belle, give Acupuncture a go!! so many girls have conceived when they started it.... !!
And stop charting for a month ;) :goodluck:

lol . Bought pre-seed yesterday - put DH right off :wall: am getting my extras cover with my health fund this month so will give acupuncture a go finally.

I recommend having sex for fun, and going to see an acupuncturist. I tried for 12 months and then fell pg the first cycle I saw and AP. Good luck and have fun :lol:.

belle - definatly give urself a break and stop charting - and have some fun!
my Hubby was exactly the same and never in the mood when the time was right - i too felt alot of pressure too fall pregnant - i know all too well how u are feeling and what u are going through - How long have u been trying for?
And yep i was actually due yesterday - little peanuts is officially late today!!!

so what do I ask for at the acupuncturist?? :redface: Just that we are TTC? any recommendations? I live in Melbourne eastern suburbs.

TTC for 12 months now (on and off since October 07).

:doh: just noticed you girls are in QLD !! This TTC is really getting to me - I can't concentrate on anything! Was a mess at work today. The topic of babies started and smeone asked me if I knew I was fertile! :wtf:

Belle - seek out an Acupuncturist who specialises in women's health & fertility. Not all of them specialise in this.....

Google "acupuncture australia" and you will find a website that helps you find one in your area perhaps. Good luck hun.

HI belle75,

You can buy digital Ovulation sticks, a bit like a pregnancy test, that you POAS and it tells you when you are ovulating by a little smiley face, which is better than you have ovulated.
They cost about $70 for 10 but helped me figure out when we should be having sex. I only went through a couple of boxes and found it was easiest method, especially with a longer cycle.

Good Luck

FC

????? i wasnt game enought to try that - petrified of needles! hahaha
i found when i charted, temp'd and did opk's u become totally obsessed!

Thanks FC. I have PCOS so can't use OPK's. My hormone levels are abnormal throughout the cycle, so OPK's aren't accurate :rolleyes:

Renstar, I'll get on to google now!

I agree, HJ. I am an obsessive/compulsive mess! I do so need a holiday :pray:

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i found when i charted, temp'd and did opk's u become totally obsessed!

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I agree, HJ. I am an obsessive/compulsive mess! I do so need a holiday :pray:

Hey Belle
I second what all the other gals are saying....i know how hard it is to relax while TTC, when everyone around you is either pregnant or has a little baby in there arms and you just feel like an absolute failure. We didn't take any contraception for 6 yrs.....yep that is right, it took us that long to fall again after having DS. I ended up going through Sharkey's Healing Centre on the Gold Coast which they do herbal supplements for you and they do mail order as well and i only took them for 3 wks and then found out we were finally pregnant. I don't know if it was that or maybe it was also the combination of me not stressing about DTD for the first cycle in yrs, we only DTD once during my window of opportunity that cycle.....DP must of had heaps of swimmers heheheh!
I know that even DTD every second day can be draining at the best of times, remember the long your DH can go without the more swimmers he will have.

GL

Belle - go away with ur hubby - maybe a nice weekend away is just what the doctor ordered!!!!
Just remember - it WILL happen!!!!!!

Not a bad idea HJ. wedding anniversary is coming up - maybe we'll take the opportunity.

I feel so reassured and encouraged now . Thanks guys! :grouphug:

Well there u go - i will be looking forward now too reading your post.....IM UTD!!!!!! :dance:

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i will be looking forward now too reading your post.....IM UTD!!!!!!

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I say AMEN! :lol: