Hello, some urgent advice please?

Hi, thanks for reading. I just wanted some advice about my dd's childcare in a hurry because we're supposed to start tomorrow.
She is 21/2y and I want to put her into daycare for 1 day a week so she is used to it for next year when I go back to uni. The only place I could get her into seemed nice - it had a good feel and there is only 8kids in the room, its not flash or new but the teacher seemed nice so I enrolled her this morning for tomorrow and we went for a quick play while we were there.
Anyway, it seems they spend 8 - 10:15 in the morning and from 2:30pm onwards with the pre-prep kids outside in the playground having free play. It started off ok my daughter started playing with a little girl, but then she tried to play with some other kids and three times in a row they were quite pushy and said 'no'. and my dd got upset and she tried again and it happened again. There seems to be a few not so nice older kids in the group and dd is pretty sensitive kid who doesnt have siblings and hasnt been in childcare before. The teachers seem to only step in if theres hitting, which was happening a fair bit. None of the kids were really smiling or laughing.
My dillema is, Im not sure if I want to enroll her after all. It seems like a lot of time to spend in free play? Is that normal? I know its normal for kids to not share and hit and stuff but I thought if they were playing in a smaller group or more structured activities it might be nicer. But I dont know if thats possible to find in a childcare. I have no experience of other childcares apart from the quick glance I had at the others I looked at that were full, but I wanted this to be a positive experience. When we went to swimming after my dd was scared to talk to the other kids in her class.
Sorry this is so long. I just dont know whether i should go as planned tomorrow or keep looking or what. Any thoughts?

Hi

My kids have been in 3 days day care since they were 10 months old - YES that is alot of unstructured free play time for a child care centre!!! I know at mine they have it broken up into hours - eg 9am morning tea, 9.30 puzzles/drawing/counting 10am run around outside if possible - 10.30 - that type of thing.

However, speak to the room leader about your concerns re other kids - was she trying to play with something that belonged in the junior pre-school room or something - maybe they were being possessive - perhaps the carers can direct her towards the kids her own age etc. Personally - I would try for a day and see how it goes, you can keep looking in the meantime and if it doesn't satisfy you - you do what is best for your DD!

Good luck - it can be so hard
xx

Hi Sam!
Thanks for your reply. I calmed down a bit and decided to take her back tomorrow and try it out again. However have been looking for other options all afternoon :lol: I think the centre is nice and the teacher is nice, but I just feel uneasy about the lack of direction. My friend says they do the play outside in the morning arvo too at her sons place but it is for shorter time also and they have activity tables set up too. I really hope either this one turns out to be nice or I find her a much better one :pray:

Hmmm, I wouldn't really be happy with my DD spending so much time with the pre preps, (they're too big!) and that does seem like an awful lot of free play. The teachers shouldn't be letting bullying happen. My DD is like yours and would probably not go back...

My CC has lots of structure, activity tables, stories etc. They do have free play too, but not THAT long and they would stop the hitting before it began - I really like the way its handled there.

Keep your eyes open for alternatives and see how this pans out....

ETA - If you are paying for childcare you want to get what you pay for - it sounds more like 'childminding'. Kids get lots of free play at home, and relish structure in any situation. Go with your gut.

I forgot to say, the leader said (in a nice way) she needs to toughen up a bit and that she will learn which kids to avoid! not sure I want her to!!

Ummm no thanks...

Why are they not giving the kids boundaries and teaching them what is NOT alright? Geez, you might as well leave her in the ball pit at IKEA while you go to uni.

She does not need to toughen up...she is perfect as she is gggrrrrr!

I personally would feel uncomfortable in that situation. My DD1 went to a child care centre that sounds similar to the way that one is structured & came home with bite marks on her back!

I pulled her out & got her into Family Day Care & its been wonderful

I agree that the teachers aren't giving enough guidence. They need to be shown the right behaviour not just left for them to find out 'who to avoid'. I am surprised honestly to hear that she said that. I think you are right in looking around for other options.

I wouldnt feel comfortable sending my kids there. Also telling u that ur dd needs to tuffin a bit is pretty wrong imo.
Both my dd & ds go to a montessori day care centre. It is very structured & has alot of direction. The smaller kids have their own playground.

If u have any concerns about the centre, i would talk to the teachers there & if u are still worried i would find a different one.
Good luck with it all:)

was it just on that day that there was big free play??
sometimes what might seem as free play isnt its a structured play but children get the choice to participate. i think its hard to see what really happens in a ccc unless your there for the entire time they are open. most ccc cater more for the fulltime children then one dayers, as in one day might be lots free play(also some kids need that on certain days) but the next day they hardly go outside. so over the week they get a huge mix of things. but your dd being in one day might not get to see all aspects.(iykwim?)
your dd playing or not playing with the older groups i dont see as a big issue she to will learn to say no and to respect when someone else says no in play times. you cant force others to play with her just because you think they should.

take her back but give it about 3 weeks before you make a desicion!

Thank you all so much for your replys. It is so good to have some other opinions, makes me feel alot better.
I went again today, and while it was a lot nicer - no pushing in the playground today, maybe a different group I dont know. Today would be her regular day. However, they left a little girl screaming and crying at the gate without comforting her which I know is what many people would do but I never think a cuddle hurts. And the told the other kids who wanted to see if she was allright, just walk away from her. This didnt sit well with me, but I said something about it later and they said she does it every day because there's a new baby in the family so thats why they just leave her. And the second thing was that when I went to find out about the place, I asked about the orientation procedure because my dd hasnt been in childcare before and her leader said, I could stay the first day, then for a while the second day and then go and they will ring me and tell me how she goes and then we will follow her lead and take it from there. Well then today was her first day and the leader told me to leave today because 'if I didnt leave today it would be really hard next time'. I really didnt feel comfortable with that yet so I said I will just wait outside which she was ok with (they have tables out there). Anyway I left her there till lunch and she was mostly happy (and was comforted the one time she cried) and when I came back in she heard my voice and had a bit of a cry so the director said go in now and have lunch with her which I did but again I really didnt feel welcome. The leader seemed a bit grumpy today. One kid spilled his lunch so instead of saying oh well lets clean it up, she gave him a big frown and said well thats what you get for turning around (he was looking at me) and said we have this every day, he spills his lunch. And then we were sitting there, my daughter still eating her lunch and she said well are you taking her? abit abrubt. And I was like ok sure we're going
Anyway, sorry another longy. Overall, I love the director, the centre is nice. The staff seem a happy group. Not fussed on dd's teacher. She seems nice and experienced and the kids listen to her, but not really a happy warm lady. And again, no structured activities. They have free play outside in the morning and afternoon, free play inside in the morning and afternoon (every day). And I think the did 5mins of painting before lunch. Not a craft activity and I didnt even see it.
I think Im going to leave her enrolled, maybe just for the one half day a week, because she really needs the socialisation and I think she enjoyed herself. But I will keep looking I think we can do better... Well I hope we can??
Any reccommendations anyone?? Im in Brissy South East

Hello, sorry if Im annoying - I just can't make my mind up. I looked at 4 other places today before dd had enough and I was heading out again this arvy but she is still asleep! I havent found anything else with a vacancy, but I think if I dont love the place she's in I should pull her out sooner rather than later. What do you think, leave now and keep looking or keep her there while im looking? Im scared about cancelling the enrollment, yes Im a big wus :)

If you are in the position to, take her out. Carers play too big a role in their development. We took DS out of a centre because things weren't what we thought they should be. The little things tell you a lot about their attitudes towards the kids. The center you are describing makes me uncomfortable and I wouldn't leave my child there. It sounds like there is also a discrepancy between the centre policies and reality (eg. the policy is you can stay the first day but the carer discourages it).

If you don't feel welcome, you should probably leave.

Structured play is a bit 1990s, and all the literature suggests that free play is the way to go, and that following the child's interests and extending on them is the best way forward. Sounds like that might be the bit that's missing though.

I'm in Brissy, have worked in the industry for 9 years (this week!) I can't PM you yet (not enough posts!) but if I knew what suburb you were in, and where you're willing to go, I could make you some good suggestions.

Snugglybean, congratulations on 9 years!! Yes I would love some suggestions. Im in Morningside and willing to travel. Thanks :)

Does the Uni have a childcare or similar thing. Many do or have one nearby that parents use?

Where are you going to uni? I'm trying to find somewhere decent that is near you or maybe ont he way to uni (after this long in the industry, I'm able to suss out the quality places pretty quick) but there is a massive drought of quality childcare in the area! No wonder you're having troubles!
East Brisbane Community Centre have a really good FDC program with about 20 different carers. That would be worth checking out, I think, and woul suit the half days you're looking for.
There's also one in Tingalpa (too far? wrong direction? let me know) that I think would be worth a check.
With regards to your OP, "new or flash" is a red flag as far as I'm concerned. There are so few new quality services being built that I would be far more wary of a new building than a place that is 20 years old (like the one I work in, which is beautiful, but in the western suburbs, and probably too far for you!)
When you search online, don't use echildcare, use the NCAC site, google it.
Good luck - I'll get back with more details soon!

Unstructured play is very common, but at DS' daycare the kids are still kept in age groups - I would not be happy that she is with kids that are so much older, or with the carers inappropriate action, and I would report it to the director of the centre, or whoever is in charge.
AsK to see thier policy on behaviour (bad/challenging I cant remember the right term but they should have one) i bet it does say to tell the child being bullied to toughen up!

Thanks everyone for your advice, I cancelled the enrollment at that centre. So back to the search :) But at least now I have a better idea of what to look for.
I'm (hopefully) going to the ipswich UQ uni next year. Going to start part time so I will drive out. They dont have childcare but thats a good idea Rivlas, I might put a post on here to see if there's any ipswich mummies and where they put there kids.
Snugglybean, thanks for the info. Tingalpa isnt too far away - what is the one there?
I will have a look at ebcc too thanks.
There is no vacancies at the moment, but I found a mother duck, a pussinboots and chatterbox centre about 10mins away that I still havent checked out. Poor dd, at least she's going to be familiar with the childcare thing by the time we find a place :lol:

I have used a motherduck previously and they were awesome! We only left because we moved north for work. They still ask our SIL about how we are going. I have heard similar good things about some of their other centres so I would personally put them high on the list to visit.

yay thankyou! :)

between morningside and ipswich really opens up your options! I don't feel all that comfortable posting names in a public forum though, so maybe when I can PM you I will send you a list? I do it for my friends all the time, pick out my favourites in order and send them out. Getting in for next year will be really tricky though, most centres have already finalised their places, PLUS now there's the squeeze from all the ABC-puller-outers.

Hi Snugglybean, Thanks I would really love that. Don't know why I can't pm yet, I must need a certain number of posts? Im a bit worried now that I wont find anywhere.

Hi just wanted to add my 2 cents worth. I have worked in early childhood for 7 yrs and just wanted to clarify a few things. Obviously you need to feel good about the Centre and go with your gut feeling. It's also a good idea to ask for a copy of the Centre's parent handbook if they have one so that you can read the policies and most importantly the centre philosophy to see if they coincide with your beliefs. Free play based on the children's interests is what is concidered best practice in the industry especially for younger children and although it may seem like babysitting if the centre is good there will be alot more going on. If you want to do some reading google emergent curriculum. Some good questions to ask are "can I see the centre's program", and "do the children have developmental records which the parents can freely access". The centre should provide these and they should ask about your childs interests very early on. I would also suggest a few visits at the service at different times of the day especially with 2yr olds as separation anxiety is very common and one day can often be hard for young ch'n. Also expect your child to resist going to the centre after a few weeks, this stage is very common and is often about power, they no longer feel in control of the situation. Also in relation to family grouping (young ch'n and old mixed) this can be a very positive thing if done properly as young children develop social skills role modelled by older ch'n and language while the older learn empathy and nurturing skills. Hope this helps.