We are in total shock...

Hey everyone,

As you probably know I had a miscarriage. I found out on Friday (Sept 3) during my 12 week u/s. I am still in total shock and feel very numb inside. :cry:

I keep on asking myself "What if I had things differently??" "Why did it happen??" "Was ther something wrong with me??". I could keep asking "What if??" and "Why??" but, I know I will never find the answers I am looking for.

I just wish no mum, dad or grandparent etc.. who wants children/grandchildren should ever have to go through the pain and suffering of a miscarriage or loss of a child.

I just want to say thank you everyone for all your kind words of
sympathy and thoughts. Also I would like to say "Thank you" Kelly for making such a fantastic website.

Take care everyone

Kazz & co \:D/
Nicholas 26/10/02

Kazz

I am here for you when ever you want to talk feel free to email me at anytime.

You are in my thoughts.

Thanks heaps Michelle

Kazz & co \:D/
Nicholas 26/10/02

Kazz,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is a truly devastating thing to go through and my heart really goes out to you at this time. I totally agree with you, this is something that no one should have to experience.

The way you are feeling at the moment is very normal. The shock and disbelief is something that anyone who has lost a baby can relate to. I think that is why all the girls in here are such a wonderful support for each other - everyone understands. I hope we are able to support you through this terrible time.

Please don't think that you did anything wrong, or should have done things differently. I am positive that you would have done everything possible to give your bub the best start in life. Like you said, losing a baby is something that we will probably never understand (and feels totally senseless, I know), but I am sure that it wasn't because of anything you did or didn't do.

I am sure you know this, but we are all here for you. Please post at any time, we will always listen. I think there is great value in being able to vent and let all your feelings out to other girls who truly understand what you are going through.

You are in my thoughts Kazz. I hope you & your DH are able to lean on each other and get through this together. I am sending you heaps of :hugs: . Take care,

Love

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss Kazz.

My thoughts are with you and DH.

I'm really lost for words, this has come as a totally shock.

Kazz,

Like the other girls, I am truelly sorry to hear of your loss. There is just no greater shock than to find out at u/s when you are not prepared for it. And I've been there too. Like others on this website. So lean on us all you like, when you like. I found this support to be immensely helpful in getting over my last m/c and wish I had of found this website for the previous 5 I had.

My thoughts are with you

Hayseed

Kazz,

All of those questions you are asking yourself......I think that that's a totally normal reaction. Don't be hard on yourself though.

I agree entirely with your sentiments that no one should ever have to go through the pain of losing a baby......it the the cruelest thing that can ever happen to anyone. I am SO sorry for you loss.

In time the pain will subside, I promise. And in between times you must take good care of yourself.

I just wanted to say :hugs: Kazz, my thoughts are with you through this difficult time. The girls here are a great support so please lean on us all as much or as little as you need to.

*hugs*
Cailin

Kazz,
I'm so, so, sorry that you are going through this. :(
It is not something you can prepare for in any way and you will eventually deal with it in your own way.
I have asked myself all the "what if" questions too, I think that is normal.
I guess in the end though, it was probably nothing you did or didn't do and you can't beat yourself up about it.
Please chat any time you need to, we are hear to help each other and we know how you feel!
I hope you are coping okay and have lots of support to try and get through this.
Sending you lots of :hugs:
Love Layla

Oh Kazz matey. Swear words are coming out of my mouth right now. I am just so sorry. I was hoping that all you guys would be home and hosed and that somehow the rest of us were the unfortunate statistics. I totally 100% know how you feel. It really really sux. I have found this site to be so helpful though, as well as talking to people who have been through the same thing. Please let me know if you would like my details to contact me directly, if you want to chat.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Massive hugs

Kazz, I don't know what to say.... I'm speechless.

I'm so sorry - those words don't seem enough. You are such a support to everybody on this site, I know we are all willing to support you through a terrible, emotional time in your life.

I just can't believe it

Love Karen xxoo

Oh Kazz, I dont know what to say.

Since reading Sarah's post on Saturday morning I have been thinking of you all weekend. I have typed a few different replies and each time I decide not to post it.

I am thinking of you...

Jess

big hugs Kazz :hugs: just letting you know that you and the family are in our thoughts and we will be here for you like you have done for many other girls.

Love :hbeat:

Kazz,
I am so sorry to read of your loss, please know that my thoughts are with you at this time.
I think that the "what if" questions are a major part of what you are going through. I know I experienced them after the loss of my son (& in all honesty still go there sometimes) but don't put too much pressure on yourself to return to "normal". It will take time. Take care of yourself.

Dear Kazz and Stephen,

Im very sorry to hear about the loss of your baby, you are right nobody should have to feel the pain of losing their much loved child.

As the other girls have said how you feel is totally normal but there is nothing that you did to cause this, you cared for your baby as much as you possibly could in the time that your little one was with you.

Come around and vent and talk when you need too we are all here for you.

My thoughts are with you both at this time.

Love Sarah

Kazz,

I just want to say again, how sorry I am.

I totally agree that no one should ever have to go through a m/c. I suppose the thing to remember is, that you aren't alone. All these girls are here to support you whenever you need it, me included.

I can't find the words i want to express what I'm trying to say... so i might just leave it here.

:hugs: and know we're all thinking of you, and here if you need us.

Huge :hugs: Kazz. Just know that we are all here for you whenever you need us. Thinking of you.

Take care.

Kazz, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss! It doesn't feel fair at all for anyone to have to go through this! Our thoughts and [-o< are with you!

kazz, so sorry to hear of your loss. my thought and prayers are with you. it's very painful to be in this situation and i really hope you feel better soon.

take care,

I'm so sorry Kazz :(
Thankyou for being so understanding (as you always are) but I am not going to not come in here and read about your experience. You have been such a great support for so many people. Your posts are always wonderful, insightful and caring. Of course I am going to come and offer my condolences. What you have been through totally sux and I am sooooo angry that it happened to you (and that it could happen to anyone).
I wish you all the best through this tough, horrid and emotional time. I hope you can get a lot of R&R and just know that I am thinking about you and you DH at this time.
HUGE HUGS matey!

Love Debbie

Kazz, my cycle buddy, I just don't have the words to say what I'm feeling for you guys right now.

I am so so sorry that you have had to go through this & wish there was something we could do to take away the hurt.

I just want you to know you, Rob & Nicholas are in my thoughts and prayers.

*huge hugs*
Sarah

Hi Kazz,

I just cant believe it. I really really wish that this was a bad dream and that we would wake up and everything for you would be fine. I hope you and Rob and Little Nicholas are doing ok (well as good as you can be) and that if you need anything everyone on this site is here for you.

Take care and my love and thoughts are with you...
Love Kel

Kazz,
So sorry to hear of your loss.
I popped in here as a friend miscarried on the weekend at nearly 8 weeks.
What a great bunch of girls here - I shall definitely be suggesting she join up for the support.
Take care
Sharon

Oh no Kazz,

You poor thing. I am soooo sorry to hear your sad news.

Thank you for being so supportive to everyone else and please take this time to let us look after you for once.

Please try to spoil yourself a little and remember that we are all here if you need us at all.

Lots of *hugs* matey,

Nell

Thank you so much everyone for your kind thoughts and messages of sympathy. We are all doing ok. Thankfully Nicholas doesn't really know what is happening although I think he senses something is wrong.

Again thank you. :)

Kazz & co \:D/
Nicholas 26/10/02

Kazz I am so sorry for your loss. I couldn't believe it when I read it and I am so sorry I didn't check last night when we got back.

I know how hard the hurting is and I only wish you and your family didn't have to feel it.
If you ever need to chat over the phone or e-mail you just need to message me.

lots of HUGS to you.

Love Jen

Kazz I hope you are feeling ok!
My reaction to hearing you had lost you baby wasn't very good. I think I was a bit upset for you and was being protective of my bub (I am not sure how that sounds but I hope you catch my drift). And hearing about Soph not long before that was a bit much. So I am sorry I haven't sent you my apologies earlier, I had to take a bit of time off as I was starting to really think irrationally, and didn't want my stressing to affect mine or my baby's health.
I hope this m/c is the last for you and you have a healthy pg really soon!!
Heaps and heaps of love and hugs
Tanya

Thanks for the kind thoughts Jen and Tanya.

Tanya, I am doing OK thank you. I am not crying as much as I was. I just wish now AF would hurry up and come again (I thought I would never say that for a while) so we can start trying again, altho the OB has told me to wait 2 cycles. Arrhhh....... I hope everything goes well with your bubs. i don't balem you for wanting to take a break from it all.

Kazz & co \:D/
Nicholas 26/10/02

Hi Kazz,

I was just reading your post in TTC and noticed your signature. I am so sorry for your loss. I am absolutely speechless and have tears welling up in my eyes.

You know we are all here to support you in anyway Kazz, just as you have offered so many words of support to us all.

You and Rob are in my thoughts.

Nic

Thanks Nic, for your kind thoughts. It is very sweet of you.

Take Care

Kazz & co \:D/
Nicholas 26/10/02

Oh Kazz,

I am so terribly sorry to hear your awful news. I admit to crying for you. Life is just not fair sometimes.

Words just fail me now,

Lots of hugs, my thoughts are with you,

Take care of yourself!! We are here when you need.

All my love,
Gabby :hugs:

Hi Gabby,

Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. I totally agree sometimes life is just not fair.

I hope everything is well with you.

Take Care

Kazz & co \:D/
Nicholas 26/10/02

Hi Kazz

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you.

As you said it's a great website and to have so many people you can lean on.

Jade

Yeah matey, I am here..... :)

Kazz & co \:D/
Nicholas 26/10/02