Help!!!! I'm almost at my wits end!

I am sooooo tired and exhausted and really not getting the chance to enjoy being a mum at this stage - My 3wk old baby girl just wont stop crying, and wont sleep of a night time, and if she does sleep it wont be for longer than an hour and it can take us a couple of hours to get her too sleep in the first place!
We have tried everything, from swaddling, bathing, cuddling, feeding, letting her cry, etc..... and nothing is working. I find myself getting upset with her every night cause i just can't seem to help her!
Does anyone have any advice?

Sorry, I don't really have any advice...just wanted to suggest maybe getting bub checked for reflux. If she is not a spewy baby it could be "silent reflux", might be burning her throat when you lay her down. Just a thought, I dont know much about it, only from what I have read on BellyBelly.

Hi, sorry to hear you are having such a crappy time, is your little one bottle or breast fed?
Sometimes it takes babies a little while to work out night and day does she sleep long periods at day time? Our MCHN told us to sleep our bub in a bright room and not be too quiet during the day when he was sleeping so he would know it was day time and then at night hopefully learn to sleep longer. But at three weeks they are still learning all about the world!
Will she sleep if she sleeps with you? ALso does she sleep in a cot or bassinet?

:hug:

Its so hard isn't it!!!

Does she do anything specific when crying - like pull her legs up, arch her back? What about when feeding? Does she pull away at all?

DD has silent reflux and cried a bit too - but mainly was very unsettled with the above symptoms....

:comfort:

How is she during the day? At that age she is still learning the difference between night and day - shouldn't be long before her body clock fits in with ours.

Fresh air is good for both mum and bub so go for a walk - I know it sounds so easy - I also know that when you are feeling so damn tired you don't feel like it and before you know it another day has passed. If you do nothing else apart from look after your baby all day, get outside for a walk if you can.

Is it wind pain do you think? Yes, she shouldn't be crying all the time - or are you that tired it feels like all the time?

I read some good advice in another thread about if you are lucky enough to have your partner/hubby home at the moment, to take shifts - and no longer than 2 hours so you can get through your shift as you know it won't be that long until you get a break.

Invite a friend over for an afternoon - it is always easier to get through the day if you have some company and you will feel less stressed. Or, do you have any family to come over and take her out after a feed for an hour or so to let you get a lay down? I never did, but take advantage of it if you have!!!

Is she in a bassinette or cot? Raise the mattress or the cot at one end so her feet are slightly lower than her head to help with moving everything down.

My bubba is just waking, I will pop back if I think of something else.

:hug: It's so awful when they cry and nothing seems to work. Is it possible she has wind? My DS2 became very unsettled when he had wind and wouldn't sleep. I ended up giving him Infacol drops before each feed and it made a HUGE difference. You could even try an all natural product called Brauer Colic Relief, I had great success using that with DS1, you can buy it in most chemists.

If you're still struggling, I highly recommend taking her to a paediatric chiropractor. They can work miracles with unsettled babies. I've taken both my boys as babies and had dramatic results. My DS1 was a very unsettled baby and would only sleep during the day if I held him. I took him to a paediatric chiro when he was 10 weeks old and it turns out he had a dislocated right shoulder from birth. Once it was fixed he was a new baby.

One other thing I can suggest if you're desperate is a baby hammock. I used one with DS1 and he loved it and happily had all his day naps in it instead of my arms!

Best of luck, I hope you find something that works for you soon :hug:.

I do remember the first few weeks being quite trying when we bought DS home then realised when he was about 12 weeks old that we were missing all his tired signs and actually putting him to bed too late at night which meant that by the time he went to bed, he was overtired. You'll be shocked how much a tired baby can scream blue murder when they have reached that point. We started putting him to bed as soon as he started rubbing his eyes and going quiet (which was about 2 hours earlier than we had previously been putting him to bed) and it all started to work itself out.

We also raised one end of his cot mattress by putting a quilt under one end of his mattress as he was a little bit spewy and this seemed to help drain away any tummy acids.

Also, a warm bath about 30 minutes before bedtime works wonders - even now that he is 10 months old he loves his warm bath.

Ooooh, all these hints are coming back to me now. Infants Friend is also a godsend after each bottle. Makes all the bubbles in their tummy join together to make a few big bubbles and burping them is easier and wind doesnt get trapped.

Marlene - no she definatly isnt a spewy baby - but googled silent reflux and she had some of the symptoms - i hope that is something easy to fix if that is her problem!

KimmyF - Bianca is now bottle fed - i had big troubles with bf and ended up with mastitis - she was on S26 but that made her constipated so now she is on Karicare which has helped alot.
She use to sleep most of the day - but today and yesterday she has been unsettled during the day also - today being the worst - she has hardley slept at all, and we had a BAD night last night so i thought she would be exhausted today.
Also we have never tip toed around her while she is sleeping - and when she is asleep noise dosent seem to bother her at all.
She sleeps in her cot - and has done so since we brought her home. And no she dosent really sleep if she sleeps with us - sometimes DH will lay down and put her on his chest and she will sleep for a little bit - but as soon as he moves - she starts.

Arimeh - she kicks around a bit when she cries - but we have tried doing the bring the legs up incase she has wind etc and that dosent seem too help her much either.
We have also tried INFANTS FRIEND incase she does have wind!
When she feeds she hooks in and dosent pull away.
How did u help DD with her silent reflux?

SamiH - she use too sleep heaps during the day - but past 2 days she hasnt, exspecially today.
When we do take her out she will settle and sleep - she loves the car, and going for walks, but we cant do that all through out the night!
I dont think it is wind - we have tried everything to help with wind and she still cries!
i will be the first too admit im extremly tired - but yep she is defintaly crying most of the day and night!
Hubby is home and has been for the whole 3wks - he goes back to work next week and he is a firey so he will be back on shift work - not looking forward too the nights without him! He does help out heaps and we do take shifts - but i still cant sleep with her crying and him trying to settle her - it breaks my heart hearing her cry so im up with him most of the time anyway!
i can handle the day time crying - but not the night time cryine - i end up crying with her and i feel like i am doing something wrong!
She is in a cot and just today we have tried raising it a little - put her down and she slept for about 10mins!!!

Is there a sleep settling clinic you could go to? a friend of mine had similar problems with her bub and she went to one and it really helped.
I have also heard of chiropractors being able to help with an unsettled baby and from what i have heard sometimes it is instant relief. Have u spoken to your MCHN she might be able to refer u to someone for sleep settling, but if you're really concerned make an appt to see you GP and they can invesitgate the silent reflux.
I hope it improves for you soon, try and remember you're probably doing everything right it just takes awhile for you both to work out what works and what doesn't. Good luck any time u want to vent thats what we're here for.

Trish - no pretty sure its not wind - but we have covered our bases anyway and have tried everything to help with wind! We are using INFANTS FRIEND!
The pead chiro is something to think about - will definatly chat that over with DH and see what he says - thank u

Tonydayl - we have just recently changed Bianca's bedtime routine - we use too start it at 2030 - hoping if we kept her up she would sleep longer - didnt work - so now we bath her at 0530 than feed her, cuddle her a little and put her too bed - so far hasnt been working too well - first night was okay but 2nd and 3rd no go - last night we got her too sleep at 0100am!!!!!!! she was crying the whole time. and only slept for an hr and was up screaming again!
And yep have tried INFANTS FRIEND - i somehow think that makes her worse - or maybe im just imagining it!

We helped DD's reflux by sitting her up for at least 20 minutes after a feed - getting homeopathic drops (infants friend, bruaers AND infacol didn't work for her) and also the paed chiro that trish recommended.

She's a much different baby now - oh - and she's also bottle fed :)

oh HJ :hug:

Not sure what you have near you, maybe you coudl give karitane or tressilian a go?

BTW she is damn gorgeous!!!!

Arimeh - funny u should say that - i just told DH maybe we should sit her up for longer after a feed! so we are going to try that!

Kitt3n - hahaha thank you - if i may say so myself she is pretty cute - more so when she is sleeping tho!

KimmyF - no havent spoken to any mchn - but im guessing im going to have too soon - just a bit worried about bothering ppl if this stuff is all just normal if u know what i mean - thats why i much prefer to ask on here - no one is going to judge u or look at u as if ur silly and asking silly questions!

HJ - hugs to you, I know how tiring it can be with a bub who won't sleep :hug:
If youre after a paed chiro I know a really good one in Ashgrove (PM me if you want details!)
Also darl, I know this is easier said than done, but if youre stressed then Bianca will pick up on it and it will stress her more too. So really try to relax and be as calm as you can with her. Youre doing a great job so hang in there! :hug:

I agree with the "pick up on stress" that SS said.

No matter how frustrated I am at her screaming/crying - I make myself breathe in and out - and relax my shoulders.. and then I look at her - I look past her to the things that DON'T make me feel frustrated when I look at her - like.. her tiny fingers, and tiny toes.. her chubby cheeks..

And I softly speak to her... usually saying stuff like.. ooh such a big noise coming out of such a little baby.. what a cute little girl you are.. such tiny fingers..blah blah blah - all whilst running my fingertips across her forehead and down her cheeks - and also in a circle between her eyebrows (chakra point)

That calms her down every time. ;)

I forgot to mention that a good friend of mine's DD has silent reflux & had to go on medication for it at 5wks old, and now she is going to a paed chiro and is almost of the medication! She is now 11mths old.

Harmony, have you called the clinic I gave you the number too? Seriusly they are a godsend and they will give you advice on everything you are going through, as well as pamphlets and information everything too!
If ya want me to come with you to show you it all, I can but its really the best thing, they help so much!

And try not to feel down on yourself, you are doing everything right and as hard as it is, it will get better. PROMISE!

Hj, Wish I had some answers for you. My DS was the same, it seemed like he was always screaming/crying and not matter how hard we tried to get him to bring up wind or 'froggie' it out he just wouldn't. We tried Marina's Mixture after BIL told us about it, and finally he was bringing up wind (or farting lol) It is a natural product, the label says it helps with wind,colic and reflux.

He was a terrible sleeper too. We wouldn't get anymore than 2 hours at a time, day or night. If he fell asleep, he would wake once we put him down, then we would take another couple of hours to get him down again. He seemed to like noise too, so we ended up purchasing a 'sleep sheep' - mimics the sound of a heartbeat, plus has ocean sounds, whale sounds and i think the last one is rain?

Before the sleep sheep, we bought a Amby Baby hammock, which sadly he didn't like, and still doesn't. I can now lay him in it for about 10 minutes with a toy attached while i do a quick pick up of rubbish etc, then he starts to get cranky. If he is asleep, he wakes as soon as I lay him down in it.

One night we gave him a bath, then a masage and he slept for about 3 hours i think. the next night we did the same, and he slept for about half that lol! what works one night, doesn't necessarily work the next for us.

My DH went back to work around the 4 week mark too, and his first shift back was a night one! I'm very lucky that when DH gets home from nightshift, he will stay up for a little bit and cuddle DS, even if it is for me to have a shower and feel a little human again.

Ds is no 4 and a half months, and last week I started sleeping him on his belly of a nighttime, from the time he goes to bed (which is whenever he is ready) I was previously putting him on his tummy around 5am when he woke then. Our paed wanted him sleeping on his belly for his daytime naps, and when we did, we found he slept soo much better.... 6 hours the first time we did it :o

DH would come home from work some days and I would just cry about how I felt like a bad mum, because I was wishing he would just shut up! DH would remind me that I was his (DS's) whole world, and it was a pretty scarey place to be after being inside for 9 months. He is so supportive, which sounds like your DH is too :) so glad to hear that.

DS still wakes 2-3 times a night, which is soo much better than every 2 hours. We even went through a period for 2 weeks where he woke every half hour... I spent those 2 weeks walking around looking like this---> :o PMSL.

I hope your DD starts to settle soon, and you get some much deserved rest..thinking of you

Nic

Becky - i have misplaced the number - went to msg u yesterday for it but got sidetracted! hehehehe ops

nic - sounds like u have and are going thru everything i am at the moment - which for me is somewhat comforting too know that im not alone!
We gave in last night and let Bianca fall asleep in her bouncer and she slept from around 2330ish - 0500 - only waking briefly at 0300 when i just bounced her back too sleep - but that is not something we want her too get into a habit of! so after some googling and from chatting on here we seem too think she has got silent reflux - so we have elevated her cot with bricks so she will sleep a bit more upright - tried it this morning at 0730 and she slept until 1100!!!! which is a record - hopefully it wasnt just cause she was exhausted and hopefully it will work tonight.
I am however freaking about DH doing night shifts again - not sure how i will handle dealing with her screaming constantly without his help and support!

Hope the elevation is what helped her sleep longer hj, and it wasn't a one off!

hj, if you take her to a doctor they should be able to tell you if she has silent reflux (well, I think they can, lol, have never had to deal with it ourselves) and if she does you may be able to get her started on some medication for it. At least you will know either way if that is the problem or not.
Hope tonight is a better night for you.

hj - if it turns out to be silent reflux (and its difficult - I know!!) the doc may just give you some infant gaviscon - thats all mine did :rolleyes:

We got more relief when we took her to the homeopath for some drops - and she told us NOT to give her the gaviscon as it can take away some of the iron in her body and its not a good thing!!!

So if it is - maybe try taking her to a homeopath (there is a great one up here on the coast) and they may be able to make her a perfect little angel - like mine is now!!!

Just thought i would let u know that we werent game enough to try Bianca in her bed last night - so we put her in the bouncer - she slept from 2230-0300 - and has been up since than - we have appt with doc at 1130 today so hopefully he can help!
ops just saw the time - i better start getting her ready - im home alone today - may take awhile! hehehe
be back with a update later!

Hi just want to say hope your doc appt goes well and they can give u some answers, dont ever feel that u can't ask health professionals questions becuase she is your baby and you know her best and u have a right to get answers and help. even if they reassure that it's normal and you don't feel better don't be afraid to get a second opinion.
thinking of you and hope u get some sleep and some answers real soon xxx

Harmony, just wanted to say i hope the doctor can give you some answers and your little princess settles for you soon.

Take care :hug:

Just thought i would let u know that GP has put Bianca on Infant Gaviscon ( you were right Arimeh) she on it for the next week - if it dosent help have too take her back and he will put her on something stronger! Fingers crossed that it will work!
Have also decided that we are just going too let her sleep in her bouncer of a night time for a bit, just so we can get a bit of sleep!
will keep trying to put her in her cot during the day just so she dosent get too attached too the bouncer, and hopefully will slowly get use to her cot!

Glad u got some help from Dr hope it workes for you and you get some sleep. Wishing you sweet dreams for tonight lol :)

Thanks Kimmy - but no sweet dreams were had by me last night!
im begining to think i will never sleep again!


Put Bianca on her belly in her cot today and she slept for 4hrs - im begining too think that maybe thats another option - but im soooo paranoid about sids!

DD sleeps on her belly - helps settle their tums I think....

Both my kids have been belly sleepers. I have a breathing monitor so I don't worry myself to death about SIDS ;)

How has little Bianca been lately?

Just a thought, perhaps you could put her in the bouncer in the cot, so she gets used to sleeping in there but has the elevation and bouncy comfort of her bouncer?