Antinatal class has terrified me, don't think I can do this now!

We had our antinatal class today and the morning was all about labour and birth. The information was delivered in a way that made me terrified. It was as if they focused more on the details of the really scary parts like tearing, medical intervention and she even went into detail about how they think that the baby is also traumatised by the experience.

Yes it was information but there was no balance. I felt myself panic and I even looked paniced and she seemed to think that was funny. I was actually looking forward to it and hoped to come home feeling more confident. Instead I have come home feeling like I need to book myself in for an elective C Section.

The afternoon was however great! A different lady, more positive lady showed us how to bath a new born with a real baby that was born just yesterday. She was so cute and I just couldn't believe how easy she was to bath, and wrap etc. I feel confident that I can do all that its just the bringing my baby into the world that I don't feel confident about now.

I dont think I will get much sleep tonight, I am scared I will have nightmares.
I just needed to vent and wonder if anyone else has experienced this kind of eduction.:o

awww hunny! big hugs!

i was also terrified. seeing that dvd at the class i was like "oh no, im NOT doing that". But hay when u go into labour u cant wait to get to all that stuff coz when u do it means ur going to be holding ur bub in ur arms real soon. Any which way u deliver ur baby its going to hurt.. before and after. I went through the labour and the emergency csection and the pain after it was horrific. I would have loved giving birth naturally.

I believe once u go into labour u will have an amazing strength. I dont know where us woman get it from but we do. U will be impowered and u will birth ur beautiful bub and once u got bubbi in ur arms and he looks up at u as if to say "oh hi there mum", all the pain and whatever happened will instantly vanish.

take care sweety xoxo

Oh no sweetheart :hug:

They need to tell you those things but please don't be scared because of that. Try and focus on the journey overall and holding your bub in your arms. Grrrr at that person who took the class for thinking it was funny to scare you like that!

Also seeing as you have plenty of time between now and the birth try and source out some gentle birthing DVD's or books. Youtube also has plenty of gentle natural births to view and help you see that it's nothing to be scared of.

I'm hanging out for the birth of my bub...anytime now little one ;)

Oh, hun, son't be scared! Really birth isn't that bad! And honestly it's often the frame of mind you are in which can make it or break it. With my first birth I was so unprepared for it and having never done it, I was unsure and unconfident in myself. Having gone into hossy with a little (I mean tiny) amount of amniotic fluid leaking and ending up being admitted and having my baby the next day by induction. I was really unprepared and nervous and didn't come to terms with things, ended up being in labour for almost 24hrs and pushing for 3hrs!! I have gas and 2 pethadine shots because things went for so long and I hadn't mentally prepared myself to be in labour then at all let alone for so long.
My second birth, I had pretty bad prelabour for about a week, I was in serious labour for I don't even know how long cause I was just trying to go with it all, plus I had a wonderful doula helping me through it all. I went to hospital the day I gave birth to get some panadeine forte to try to sleep a bit and the midwife checked me and I was 8cm dilated! I wasn't in pain at all at that stage, though had had some serious contractions for several hours. I had laboured BY MYSELF (DH was at a soccer game!) and had managed on my own, having baths, using heat packs etc... to releive my pains. My birth was beautiful and perfect and I had no painrelief at all. My DS was born a few hours afer admission and after the midwife broke my waters. This time I was completely prepared and ready to birth, hence the huge difference in births. It is great to be prepared for the what if's, but go into it positive!
If I have another bub, I will be confident in myself and know I can do it, on my own if need be!
Be confident women are meant to birth babies and you CAN do it!

I have not had a VB so I cannot comment on what it 'feels' like, however I can share that I did not have any fear when I was pregnant in regards to having a natural birth, I did however fear a CS (and unfortunatly this is what I had) I did not attend a antenatel class as I heard that they can scare some women, I chose to educate myself. Read all you can on gentle birthing and do have a look at the you tube clips as Raven suggested there are some truly amazing ones on there., and some amazing women at that. Also have a read of the below thread, if you haven't already, even if you only read the posts from 'Blue Daisy' it is very informative.

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...f-methods.html

This is also another lovely clip on you tube:

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ant-woman.html

Although I had a wonderful CS experience after all and it was completely pain free I do plan on trying for a VBAC next time. It is such a sacred experience and as I'm sure you have been told many times, this is what our bodies were designed to do. You will be great and before you know it you will be holding your little bundle in your arms.

Deanne.

Hi Puppies.
Myself and my partner had a private class (3 hours straight) and it was great but we were showen VERY graphic images and I left feeling like there must be some other way that the baby could come out.!!
But the truth is, there is no other way, and the baby is coming out no matter what.
The best way that I found to think about it was that it is one or two days out of your life that you will be in some pain and discomfort... ok I am suger coating it slightly lol.
But really, its one or two days. Then its all over. And you wont forget the pain entirely but it sure comes a distant second when you finally get your baby.
I have a 6 month old now and was worth the pain and more.

I wish you all the best and remember, on the few nights when you feel a little scared, you have all your friends here to talk about it.

x x

I could have typed exactly what you did when i had my first class before DD1 was born, in fact i think i said similar things in my then Belly group about my feelings! I walked out of the hospital at the end petrified and wanting to find a way out of giving birth all together, c/s included..but really...once your there on D day everything is so different and its all ok. It might sound all scary and daunting but let nature take its course and dont over think it.

I skipped antenatal "care" classes for this reason!

Hun you are going to get more and more pregnant and those wriggles and kicks you feel every day are going to become pounding feet and fists. The little baby inside is going to grow and grow until you are so big with it you feel you might be more baby than woman! And when you rub your big belly and feel those strong feet and hands you're going to know how STRONG your baby is, and how STRONG you are together.

Life gets uncomfortable. Sleeping gets harder. Your hugeness dominates your thoughts and actions, the baby looms large in your mind. The connection between you is strong and you will begin to long and long to feel those limbs wriggle in your arms, to look into the fresh eyes of your baby and say hello. You're going to want this so so much, and on the day you feel your first contraction the FIRST thing you will feel is excitement - your baby is coming, your time is now.

As each wave surges through you you will feel so many sensations and emotions. Yes, there will be pain. Not a pain you have imagined or thought of, a pain you have never encountered, and remember it well because it is the pain of womanhood, it is your gift to your baby and to yourself. I know, it takes a lot to wrap our western pain-medicated minds around the concept of a gift of pain, but it is just that. Ask yourself "WHAT do i feel?" I did that and it really helped, because yes, i felt pain, but not only pain. How was your first time at sex? Was there a pain, a tightness, and then a yielding and through the pain a suggestion of the pleasure that makes every living thing that does it do it? There are moments in labour when it hurts AND it feels good, but if you sit thinking "it hurts it hurts!" you might miss them. DON'T deny pain, but do ask what else you feel.

Make sure you're well-supported. Try to have an attendant who believes in you and in birth. Even my XP was surprisingly wonderful at this (it doesn't HAVE to be a doula). At some point i was hanging in desperation at the velocity of my labour over the edge of the bath shouting "i can't do it" and he looked at me very calmly and said "you ARE doing it."

Labour teaches us to live in the moment. Labour is only ONE contraction long - the contraction you're having. None of the others passed or coming matter, just the one you're having. Live in the moment. If you divide labour into contractions and breaks you get LOTS of rest, USE it. Relax between contractions and praise yourself for your progress. When you are holding your newborn you will really appreciate what labour taught you about living in the moment because they grow SO fast and you're going to want to DRINK every moment with them.

Ever since you were born you have been doing First Things. First breath, first cry, first poop, first feed, first smile, first solids, first step, first bikeride, first day at school, first relationship, i could go on. This is your first baby. You have risen to a million challenges in your life, and some of them you won't even have THOUGHT of as challenges, and you have succeeded. Your baby is inside you and birth is something you WILL do. Not can or can't. WILL. It's not going to be easy because things worth doing rarely are. It's going to be difficult and challenging and the most wonderful, worthwhile, joyous achievement of your life. Until you have your next one ;)

Bx

Gosh that doesnt sound like you had a good class. Was this at the hospital run classes? What hospital is it?

Our classes were ok - but i now know that the hospital run classes just didnt prepare me for birth ata ll. I got way more info through Bellybelly and reading REAL stories.

What a wally of a teacher.

:hug: I remember being a little uncertain after the 'what interventions *might* happen' section of my antenatal classes.

My suggestions are: go back and re-read that other thread you started. Plenty of examples of straightforward childbirth there.

Second is: you mentioned in the other thread that you're a Christian, is that right? Before my first bub, I had some people from church come up to me on a Sunday morning and pray for me. It really helped my confidence, going into labour knowing that God went before me, and was with me. Things might take you by surprise but nothing takes God by surprise. Perhaps get some friends to be praying with you.

:hug: That was so unhelpful of that teacher to laugh at you! Hoobley has it in one. And by the time you feel that first contraction, you'll be ready.

I had a very similar experience last week, actually. My husband and I went to a hospital antenatal class and decided to leave half way through. The midwife running it was absolutely awful; disinterested, condescending and when I questioned her about mandatory CTG monitoring and internal examinations (she had stated that these two things had to happen when you were admitted, as though you had no choice in the matter!) she reacted aggressively, and ended her little rant with - 'well, you don't have to have either, but if something goes wrong... you wouldn't want your baby to DIE, would you? !!'! I couldn't believe that, in response to a question from a mother she was employed to EDUCATE on matters relating to birth and beyond, she attempted to guilt-trip me into silence when I questioned her assumption of protocol and procedure, using the life of my baby as leverage. That was low. Although I understand the need for intervention in the event of an emergency, why would you assume foetal distress upon admittance to hospital? Grrr!

Anyway, I think the best thing you can do is inform yourself as much as possible - read, talk to other women who have had positive birth experiences (it seems as though people are often more willing to share the horror stories rather than the lovely ones), and you might even consider independent antenatal classes that aren't hospital-affiliated. Luckily we had our Calmbirth classes and private childbirth education classes a month ago, and so I had already been feeling quite confident (and informed) before I attended the class. So, instead of being terrified, my husband and I left indignant - how dare she, etc! Personally, I feel hospital-run classes are more or less about passing on information about their policies and procedures (which can be useful information to have, so that you know where you stand). And don't let one bad experience convince you that you won't be able to birth your baby, or that you have no autonomy in relation to your birth - I don't know why people like to scaremonger, but ultimately your body is in charge of your labour, not anyone else. Just because you are made to watch a woman suffering and screaming through her labour experience as part of your 'education', it does not mean that this is the experience you will have. If you take a look at all the birth stories on the Belly Belly forum, you'll see how different (and not necessarily horrific) everyone's birth is!

I remember feeling the same way after we had been to antenatel "education" lol but when i went in to labour i forgot about being scared and just focussed on what was happening.
I had a VB and yeah it hurts but the relief you feel when you push your baby out my god it is instant! the pain just stopped and remember it's good pain because its how u get to hold your baby.
These fears are totally normal and i'm sure you'll be fine Good luck!

That's exactly why I didn't go to those classes.

Don't stress though. You can do it.

If the pain gets too much you can get pain relief.

If intervention is required you could be like me and be eternally grateful that someone was stepping in to help get your bub out. I did not expect to feel that way if things didn't go to plan. I can only comment on a vac extraction - it was by no means the worst part of the labour & was a huge relief once bubs was out.

For me the worst pain was when I was in labour at home. Once I got to hospital I could have gas & peth so they took the edge off. Even though I had a long labour when I look back at it now it just didn't feel that long.

As some others have said the pain does go away when bubs is out but if you do end up with stitches a completely different pain will set in. You wont feel the worst of that until you leave hossy & are moving about & are off the good pills. You can also get some pretty full on pain from your uterus contracting after the birth.

Whatever your experience turns out to be you will think every moment of it was worth it when you look your bub in the eyes.

I agree with Little Berlin about private antenatal classes. I've just started Calmbirth classes and I feel so much more confident than I did at the start of my pregnancy about giving birth. I'd really recommend them if you can find a nearby instructor. I won't be having hospital antenatal classes until January but I am pretty wary after hearing stories like yours. Reading some natural birth books may also help restore your confidence.

9 Reasons Why You Should Choose Private Birth Education

Like a few people have said above, hospital classes are based on their own policy and not possibiity. Its the worst birth education in my opinion, if you read my article above you can find out why. Not saying all hospital based classes are a waste of time and money, but it's the last option I think people should opt for if they want a normal birth.

Can you get a doula? If money is an issue most student doulas are free.

You can do it hun. I have had two wonderful vaginal births. And I would do it again in a heartbeat (if I could just convince DH that another baby is a good idea LOL!). It is entirely possible to have a great vaginal birth. Being positive and believing you can do it is THE most important thing. You can, and don't let any doubt creep in. And being prepared is really important too. Get your hands on a copy of New Active Birth. Reading that made my second birth much better than my first, because I knew what to do and wasn't relying on anyone else. Read it and I'm sure you'll feel better.

I can also tell you, that having a great vaginal birth is much easier to recover from than one with an epidural, episiotomy, and although I've never had one, I'm pretty sure a c/s would be the same. So read up, think positive and go get that birth you want hun.

Best of luck.

Is the woman who gave the class a midwife in the hospital? If she is, I'd suggest getting a doula or ensuring that DH (or whoever you're having as birth support) is very educated on your wishes and you go to private antenatal classes or Calmbirth or the like.

I have a theory that the quality of antenatal education may be related to the quality of care in the hospital - I can only say that the hospital classes I had were great - yes they went through what could go wrong, but it was presented with statistics of how rarely the complications happen, and they also went through natural pain relief and what to expect without scaremongering, and the care I received in the hospital was compassionate.

Aw puppies, I'm so sorry!
TBH, I was reeeeeally freaked out about tearing/being cut when I was pg. I couldn't get the worry out of my head.
However it was the very last thing on my mind when I actually went into labour. In the end I had a minor tear, and I didn't feel it happen - I was so surprised when they told me I'd need a couple of stitches. And they didn't cause me any problems either.
I know it's a dumb thing to say, but please try not to stress about it. Like others have suggested, fill your head with positive information and stories - read lots of great and helpful books (e.g. the Thinking woman's guide to better birth, new active birth, Spiritual Midwifery) and ignore people who want to scare you. That is more about them than about you, KWIM?
Read Hoobley's post again (OMG - I have to share the love, but that brought tears to my eyes, Bx!) and probably some of those words will come back to you as you feel those first pains. You are going to be great!

Puppies

I too was absolutly petrified, i have a low pain threshold (well so i thought) and i use too be petrified of needles too the point where it would take 5ppl to hold me down!
But i did it - and i would go through it all again in a heartbeat (for the first time)

U can do it! Don't be scared, as its nothing too be scared of!
My word of advice is (something i wish i was told)- as much as it does hurt, try to enjoy it as much as u can - because it really is over sooooo very fast. And once u have that baby in your arms you really do forget the pain, and the pain funnily enough instantly goes!
Savour the moment hun, it really is an amazing, beautiful experience.

Hoobley - your post made me so excited! Very inspirational and positive thank you :clap: :clap:

Puppies - don't be scared.... look forward to your birth. Enjoy the last few special weeks of your pregnancy because it's such a beautiful journey & it goes waaay too fast!! And the labour will go fast and our babies grow up fast!!!

I'm actually EXCITED about my impending birth and labour!! I've had so many people say to me "you're mad" and "don't you know it's gonna hurt??" WELL DEEERRR!!! Of course it's gonna hurt.... but it's "pain with gain" and "pain with purpose"! and I CHOOSE to go into it all with a positive mind and knowing and believing in myself and my baby that TOGETHER we will and can do this!!!

Take the good with the bad.... listen to what you're learning in your classes and be informed and have the knowledge of what can happen etc but don't over think it all too much.....

You WILL do this and you CAN do this - you know that you just need to believe it now. Focus on getting yourself in the right head space over the next few weeks..... labour starts with your mind.

Believe it. Believe in YOURSELF....You are a woman and you CAN do this you were born to do this.