TTC #1 - history of endo and hubby has low libido

Well after several weeks 'stalking' these forums, I thought it was time to introduce myself and get a bit of advice on where I'm at. BTW, I love these forums - huge help so far!

Firstly, I'll apologise in advance for TMI but that does seem to be the norm on this site! I've been off the pill for 3 months now (this is my second time off the pill in the past 3 years). My cycles seem quite normal excpet that I now spot for 2 days before full flow. I'm not taking my temps, just keeping track of dates, signs, etc. I know I'm only new to the TTC game but i have a couple of issues and was wondering if anyone else out there is/has been in the same boat.

1. I suffered from endometriosis for years - signs appeared just before my first period at 12 and I was put on the pill at 15 to help with the pain and heavy flow. It was pretty severe to the point that my doctor suggested that I try conceiving as early as 18 to avoid possible infertility. I'm now 29 and my last trip to the gyno was a few years back and he told me it seemed as though my endo had reversed - woohoo! My only concern is now, how much damage was done in the early days??

2. Although my cycle seems regular (i count day 1 from full flow, not spotting - is that right?) I'm yet to experience EWCM. I honestly think I noticed more CM while on the pill! Anyway, I do feel wetter (sorry, TMI!) around the 14 and a few niggles of pain (which can continue over a couple of days) so I'm guessing this is my O time but do you need the EWCM to be certain? Thinking I might invest in OPK's.

3. Hubby has a low libido which makes it very hard to get in a bit of BDing every second day as recommended. This has been an issue for a few years now and we have seen specialist and have done lots of reading but at the end of the day, if someone isn't really intersted in 'getting it on', there's no point forcing the issue! I feel quite alone on this one so would be very interested to hear from anyone else in this situation.

In saying all that, we are 'actively' TTC and if my calcs are right, O day was last Saturday and yes, we had one sessiond of BDing (plus one earlier in the week) so fingers crossed for December I guess!

Hi Taurean :hello:

I like you are new to the BB website but have been lurking in the wings for awhile!
I wish you luck for your Christmas news, I too am in the TWW hoping for a Chrissy miracle :crossfingers:
Look forward to chatting over the next few weeks & hearing some great news!

Hi Aries!

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who has been sitting in the wings!

Thanks for your reply and good luck to you too! It would be nice to have some baby news for the family at Christmas - fingers crossed for both of us! When are you testing?

Hi Taurean and Aries;

Welcome to BB!!!

I'm sorry I don't really have a whole lot to offer as I've never had endo or a partner with low libido but I just wanted to suggest that drinking at least 2 litres of water a day can increase your CM.

Good luck - I really hope you both get your Christmas BFPs!!

Well...... I am hoping to wait until next Thursday but knowing me I wont be able to wait that long & given that around Sun/Mon will be day 10...... LOL :lol:
Am getting quite a few pains on my right side so I am worried sick that its AF but am still being as positive as possible!
What about yourself, when will you test?

Thanks Kaz! I'm gulping down the water as we speak so will grab another bottle when I finish this one! Thanks for the advice.

The low libido is a little out of the ordinary for men but we're both working on it and he's really keen to start a family so that's a good sign. He's started taking zinc and libido vitamins so :crossfingers: they help!

Thanks Kaz!

Congrats on your pg, I hope you are feeling well :leap:

I'm due on 7 December so I'll be good and wait to see if my darling AF arrives. I'm not feeling overly positive about this month cause I'm still not 100% sure when I ovulated. I just took a stab in the dark that it was last weekend. I've got niggling pains today but I had them last weekend so I'm really confused! I figure I've got more 'stats' to work with next month if there's no BFP this time. :D

I am confused too.....
I had quite bad pains last Thursday which prompted me to do a OPK test & it confirmed my thoughts that I was ovulating (or very close to), but for the last 3 days I have had the pains as I said before & today have started having lower back pain on the same side. I rang the fertility clinic to ask about these & didnt really get much advice, just to wait and see what happens - EASIER SAID THAN DONE - which all of the ladies on this site would probably agree with!!!!!!!
So I will :crossfingers: for the both of us & think :noaf: too!

Chin up girls!! It's not over until the ugly AF shows her face!!

If you haven't already, you both should check out the Trying to Conceive Threads - TTC. There are different threads depending on how long you've been trying and whether or not you're receiving fertility treatment. There'll be heaps of girls in there going through exactly the same waiting games and doing similar head miles!! Also, check out the articles section - there's some info in there about what to do to occupy your mind during the TWW.

All the best - can't wait to see your respective pg announcements! :)

Hey Taurus - I was just going to suggest zinc for DH - that and the herb Tribulus. Will need to get it from a herbalist/naturopath, but it's wonderful for increasing libido. Interestingly enough, it could also be good for you too... the spotting you're getting before AF is sometimes a sign of low progesterone and tribulus can be good for a women to increase pg. I wholeheartedly recommend seeing a naturopath to help balance your hormones. You will need a fair amount of progesterone come the second half of your cycle too - to keep your endometrium nice and fluffy for implantation!

Thanks so much for the advice! I've got a doctors appointment on Monday for a general checkup and chat and if nothing happens this month, I'll definitely see a naturopath. I can't believe how much I'm learning from this site - thanks so much girls!

Oh, I was a bit excited this morning as I finally noticed EWCM and so suggested a bit of BDing to hubby and he was all for it! Fingers crossed this might have been just what we were waiting for. I'm still confused though - 28 day cycle and first sign of EWCM at day 19. Is that normal? Will raise this one on the TTC thread...

Thanks again girls, congrats Kaz (and cute belly!) and lots of luck Airies. Be sure to keep me posted! :p

Hi Taurean!

Just thought i would pop back in again to see how you are & to wish you luck if you are still testing :crossfingers:
AF showed up for me on Thursday - so I am CD 3. Onto my fourth cycle of Clomid.
Bring on January!
Hope to hear some good news soon.

This is great that I've found this info. I'm in the same position as you. My hubby doesn't have a libido neither do I from my endo to what I believe. Have you found anything for your husband that brought his libido up? I just can't stand us both not having a libido. A female enhancer or something would be great. Anyone with experience in this field.

Other than that I guess we will have to change up our diets and drink a lot more water.

Step by step. I thought I was the only one.

hey

i just want to thank you for being brave and posting about your partner having low libido
my dp has low libido aswell, its so hard and very frusterating when ttc!!! and it can be very hard on my self esteem exspecially when we try and it goes down which it seems to do ALOT!! he feels frusturated and angry and so do i, i know he loves me but its so hard. he is taking veromax which is suppose to increase his sex drive, plus he is on vitamins, he has been on them for a few weeks now, but havent seen any improvement yet, hopefully it will work soon.

i love him so much and because of that i WANT him so much, its hard. sometimes i just want to feel WANTED if that makes sense?? i want to feel LOVED, i want him to make love to me, i want to feel sexy and that he cant get enough of me. if i had it my way we would be doing it 3-4 times a week, he just turns me on that much. i wish i turned him on that much :(

anyway i am probably way off topic here, but wanted to say thank you for posting such a brave and personal post, it has made me feel so much better, i really thought i was the only one that was going through this with there patner. i am probably going to regret posting this, as i have carried this with me for so many years and have never told anyone or talked to anyone about it cos i was to embarresed. so thank you for posting xxx

Girls, thank you for being so brave and posting about your partner's low libido's. DH has a low libido as well, and it makes dtd when ttc feel like a chore. Sometimes he's literally, "Do I have to?" even though he wants a baby. And he goes to bed early and pretends he's asleep so he doesn't have to deal with it.

I found his libido lowered when he started suffering depression a few years ago. And once he was on anti-depressents, he regularly couldn't 'stay up', which he found embarrassing and frustrating. This made him avoid dtd and I read that it's a vicious cycle. Use it or lose it, so to speak. So even though he's not on anti-depressents anymore, he still has a low libido. He gets up and stays up fine, just needs convincing to want to 'get it on'.

I also suffered a lowered libido after my endo op about 5 years ago - the surgery was pretty major and we couldn't dtd for so long I kinda got used to not doing it at all! Am much better now, but kinda glad I don't have a high libido as it could cause problems between us.

Postedup - I once heard about a "horny goatweed" type herbal pill for women. Never tried it, but I think you can get it from chemists. You could try it. And I've also read that the more you dtd, the more you want to. So if you have to force yourselves at first, it might improve things in the long run.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that you girls aren't alone and thanks for talking about this because it is deeply personal and hard to speak about.

jleigh29 well done darl on a brave post, i know it probably sounds silly but i am really feeling alot better now that i know that i am not alone, its been a very lonely couple of years going through this and not being able to talk to anyone that would understand.

mods is there a place in here that we can talk openly about this?? like a thread or something that we can join and help each other and anyone else out there that is having the same/similar problems.

Mummy2chloe - That's a great idea and I'll definitely join in. I already feel much better knowing I'm not the only one out there. :)

its in the process jleigh29 :)

i sent nelle an email today and she is going to see if we can open a thread in the adults only section about it.

i feel so much better, i even told dp today about it and how there are other people out there and he feels heaps better too!! and when we have a problem at least i will have a place to go and talk about it and know that there are people there that will understand!

Hey there, I'm new here too. How're you's going?
-Des

Hey Mummy2Chloe - I haven't checked in for awhile. Any news? I should check in the Adults Only section. Though 'Adults only' makes us sound dirty though, lol.

Desr - Hi!

hey jleigh29, no news yet, might send nelle an email to see how she is going with it.
i know what you mean about being adults only, feels a little funny lol will let you know as soon as i know something ok :)

desr hi how r u going?

jleigh29 just letting you know, thanks to nelle we now have a place where we can go and speak about our problems

its under sexual issues support groups, you have to join ( i did today)

if you have any troubles finding it just let me know and i will see if i can help

Thanks. I will join and pop in at some stage. Might not be for a week or so as we got some bad news from the fs yesterday and am trying to digest it atm and we're going away for a few days next week too.

oh i hope everything is ok? i am here if you ever need to talk sweetie xxx

Ta. I suppose it's not 'bad' news for lots of us ttc, IVF is just a next step isn't it? I just wasn't expecting to be told to go straight to IVF before IUI etc.

I just applied for membership so should see you in there soon...

oh really, ivf is pretty big, i am currently doing my second round of ivf

i suppose its the way you look at it, i done 4 IUI's and they were a waist of money ( in my opinion) at least with ivf you know that the sperm and the egg are meeting and doing what they have to do, its just a matter of getting them to stick! where as with iui's you have no idea if the egg and sperm are even meeting if you know what i am trying to say??

but then on the other hand iui's DO work bg is living proof of that, plus its not as demanding on your body or your budget, iui's are alot easier then ivf thats for sure

so really there is alot of pro's and con's and it sounds like its been a big few days for you! is there a reason why your fs is not going to give you guys a go with iui? i dont really know your history or problems

DH has too low a sperm count so our sperm and eggie need to be personally introduced, not just thrown in a room together and hope they find eachother! We're still digesting it all and deciding what we're gonna do.

Off to have dinner now. See you in 'our' new thread soon....

oh ok at least with ivf icsi which is where they inject a sperm into an egg ( you probably know that sorry lol) at least you know that the egg and sperm are doing what they have to do

my partner had low sperm count as well as abnomalities and low motility but he started on vitimans and i put him on a diet, he doesnt smoke or drink either but after a few months everything started to look good again

like i said if you need to talk i am always here :) hope you are ok, please take care and will see you in our new thread :)