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OK... confused!
Hubby & I are definately going to find out the sex of bubs... but... then do we:
a) Find out the sex and try and keep it to ourselves
b) Find out the sex and tell everyone
c) Pretend we didnt find out, so its easier to keep the secret!
Hubby is more inclined to tell everyone
I sort of want it to be a suprise, but not sure if I can keep it a secret.
What did you do?
We told everyone. Though Clints parents didn't want to know they ended up finding out. It made it sooooooooooooooooo amazing once she was born, the things ppl gave her were amazing and we didn't have to buy her clothes for MONTHS :lol:
I also loved celebrating it with others and talking about it :)
If you aren't going to tell anybody then prob dont find out. If your anything like us we were wayyyy to excited to keep it in for all those months!
Congrats and I cant wait to find out!
some people will want to know, others won't (we have at least a couple of friends that have threatened physical violence if we spill!!)
our intention is to share with those that we told early about our pg - those that we can trust to keep it to themselves, but to have people to share with kwim? a couple of people that knew early on won't have a chance of finding out though - they couldn't keep their trap shut! we're doing the same nurery either way, so gender specific clothes is all we have to hide.. and given that so many of our friends have recently had bubbas or will be having bubbas just before us, if we're seen out shopping, we have excuses!
we told. I was desperate to know and my two DD's were too. and i couldnt expect them to keep it quiet for so long. and now that we know we refer to the baby as him/he so it would have been too hard to keep it quiet.
BUT we are keeping the name quiet... so that way at least there is some news to tell people when he arrives. We are also keeping quiet about the fact that he will be here earlier than anyone expects ;)
DD1 we never found out
DD2 we found out and told no one
BumbleBee we found out and told the world!!!!
i think if you fond out then you should tell - i had on e girl say to me" no we enjoy gloating about peoples guesses" put me right off- could not give a rats what her baby is now.
we told ( both sex and name)and found it really helped so when bubs came out it was like everybody already knew him - was really what we wanted. instead of a baby shower we had a "*** coming soon party" people gave us stuff with his name etc.
really up to the indivdual but nicer to share. JMHO.
LSK- I agree about ppl finding but not telling :rolleyes: A lady I know said the same thing pretty much "we love knowing and not telling, ppl are dying to know!"
I said "Not anymore, Im excited but couldn't care enough to get worked up about the sex."
She made it sound like an attention thing, being pg is wonderful attention as it is.
With DS1, we found out and told our families and expected them not to spread it around, which they didn't. It was a bit hard to keep a secret since it was plain as day to see when they watched the video of the u/s.
As for DS2, we were unsure the lady gave us the right gender (she told us from a profile view.:doh: ) We decdied before we found out we could have 2 people each to tell and they couldn't tell anyone.
Good luck with your decision.
All the best with what you decide and aswell as the rest of your pg.
xx
mamma kass- thank god i am not the only one. i felt like a cow writing that but at least i know we can share our cow- ness!!! loved your response!!
tenn- good solution!!
We haven't decided yet whether we're going to find out, but I think we will tell people, only because there's no way I'd be able to keep my mouth shut :lol:
We found out and I originally wanted to keep it a secret but MIL really chucked a tanti and wanted to know so we told everyone. I must admit I don't think it would have been a secret for long as I started refering to the baby as a 'he' and 'him' so they would have found out anyway.
But as someone said before, we have so many clothes now that I doubt we will need to buy any for him for some time so thats one less thing to worry about.
I'm an all or nothing girl I think - either no one knows, including the mum&dad, or everyone who wants to know can know.
I think that the anticipation is good either way, regardless of whether you're waiting to find out, or waiting for the arrival of your son or daughter. The main advantage i see with telling is that you get gender specific clothes, and you can decorate your nursery in advance without having to worry about hiding the clues if you know what you're having but haven't told.
The people who treat it like a power thing are just weird IMHO - who gloats about people guessing wrong like that, that's just a bit pathetic. Maybe I'm just too out-of-touch with these things, but I've always thought a healthy arrival is more important than the flavour.
Good luck though, whatever you choose it's a very exciting time.
:ROFL: snacks!!
We found out but were given the "not 100% sure coz we can't see all the bits due to the cord" speech.
Not many people wanted to know and I got quite a few lectures espically from MIL for finding out.
As PIL didn't want to know we kept it from them but when I was in hospital I kept refering to bub as "she" and then after a week with me in hospital we had chosen her name and referred to "her" as Nikita or Niki so poor MIL found out anyway :doh:
I think you should wait and see - if people ask if you know say "yes we do" and leave it up to them to enquire further what the sex of your baby is. You can monitor their response and see if you actally want to share your news with them or not?!
Nae x
thanks ladies! maybe we will tell - but definately have to keep the names under wraps!!!
We found out and told people. Although first we asked them if they wanted to know (everyone has wanted to know!) The surprise is going to be the name. We are not discussing or sharing that with anyone until he's here. :)
We found out but decided to keep it to ourselves - not to gloat to others but just to keep it as a special bond between us and the baby. Although we both have let the 'she' slip a couple of times, so beware of the difficulty of keeping it a secret if that's what you choose!
We found out both times and shared. It helped me to get used to having 2 girls by being able to refer to them both by name from 20 weeks. We will be finding out and sharing again. I cant wait for my scan!!
We found out and didn't tell.
I like the idea of telling people you didn't find out because then no one can bug you or try to trip you up or over analyse everything you say.
We found out with DD3 because I had a miscarrage at 19 weeks prior to her. WE thought we would celebrate our little girl and let everyone know she was a girl in case we lost her. Im also doing the same with this PG. We want to celebrate our little one now. The name we`ll keep secret. Last time we mentioned Jenna as a potential name to some of hubbys friends , their response was " after the porno star". I have no idea who they were talking about but it totally put me off the name.
hi all
am same as Myson - we found out sex and told everyone but we're not going to tell anyone the name until he's born (that's if we EVER decide on a name that is). :rolleyes:
my mum didn't want to know but she came to the morphology scan and buckled to know also - i could tell she was dying to know :)
good luck on your decision.
we found out with DD and told everyone, we had the names picked out, so once we left the scan, we knew we had our Krystal!
we will find out with this bub as well... im happy to tell people.
i love knowing what to buy, i have looked around and there is really limited neutral stuff, that suits each sex(JMO) i would prefer to go for pink/ yellow/ purple for a girl, and blue/ red/ green for boys.
I'm having my 20 week scan next week and we still haven't decided whether we want to know or not. We keep changing our minds. I doubt we'll decide until we're there, maybe we'll just see if we can guess and then we'll see if we're right in April :D
Hi All!
We found out with DD and DS and it made it great for getting everything ready. We have no baby stuff left but at this stage have decided not to find out. I just want that ".....congratulations its a baby........". I think a baby can live in white for a few weeks then when I can be bothered I can go shopping!
Hi Everyone,
I've loved hearing everyone's answers on this one. I always wanted to find out, and my husband didn't so we neg and we found out but i've only told my sister who's our support person. Although it's been hard to keep the secret from our friends and family it has been really nice to have this secret between us. I think it's totally whatever you feel comfortable with. As long as our babies come out healthy and happy!!:D
I say tell! :P
That way you'll get use out of all the gifts you get... because who really wants to put a little girl in a green or yellow growth suit! :lol:
Meee! I do!:
We found our yesterday our baby is a girl, so went shopping (I'd been making Mum wait to take me shopping until we knew all was well with the baby - didn't want to jinx it). And I was so disappointed to find 90% of stuff in the shop was pink or red. And all the boy's stuff was blue and kahki - so obviously "boyish" that I didn't want to buy much of that either. Where was the green, yellow, orange, purple, white?
Who wants to see any child dressed in only one colour? I want my children to wear all the colours of the rainbow (at least until they are old enough to tell me they hate it...)!
Down with "girls must wear pink"!!!!!!!!!!!
:)
(ok, ok, I do know that many people obviously have a different opinion on this)
tenar, true that! But i always think while they're new born colour coded is a good idea as you can't always tell what sex some babies are... I know that sounds horrible..
Congrats on your bubby girl though! We're finding out what we're having in 16 days.. Not that i'm counting. DF is convinced we are having a boy and keeps sneaking boy clothes into the shopping trolley during christmas shopping trips! He got the cutest little kahki pair of overalls last night that make me hope he is right! If not I think I can girly-fy them up a bit ^^;
Teagz_88, true, I know that the colour-coding makes it easy to tell, generally, if a baby is a boy or a girl. It's why I didn't want to get too much blue stuff for ours, so people don't think she's a boy (or at least not too often).
But I honestly wonder why that should matter in the least? Anyone who knows your child, or is even introduced to them, will know from the name or from the way you refer to them. And for strangers why does it matter?
Why should the first thing we want to know about anyone is whether they are male or female? Of all the possible things (are they healthy, are they happy, are they blue-eyed, do they like chocolate...?) why should that one question be something so important, of a baby, to need to "colour code" it to the world?
(Not at all having a go at you, it's just something I wonder about. And I really feel sorry for people who don't fit well into "male" or "female" slots, in this world where everyone is so insistent on pigeonholing everyone in that way).
Enjoy your countdown (it drove me mad, waiting for this the last couple of weeks) and I hope you have all good news in 16 days! :)
It's just the way 90% of the human populations brain is programed I guess..
Im going to find out but im not going to tell anyone that i know, i need to know for my own sake as a realy would like a girl and dont wont to be disapointed if i have another boy, dont get me wrong if i have a nother boy i will be very happy but i dont wont to risk not bonding with bub if i dont have what im hoping for.
We didn't find out with Olivia and I am so happy we didn't. I will never forget the look on my DH's face after she was born. He had tears running down his face and told me we had a gorgeous little girl then kissed me. That was the most amazing moment. Just the look on his face was amazing. I guess I meant more to me DH telling me than a stranger doing their job. That is just my experience but it is a personal choice.
In relation to people buying gender specific gifts no-one knew what we were having (obviously, LOL!) and we didn't get a single present that wasn't for a girl.
I understand completely Dasharity. If I was going to be having girl number three then I wanted to adjust to that idea before she arrived. Its not that i wouldnt love her but I think I would have needed time to grieve that fact that I would never have a son (this is definately our last child).... I didnt want to be going through that process of grieving when I should have been bonding with my new little girl.
but..... its a boy, so its not an issue now. And the boy clothes are pressies are rolling in already.
We found out the sex and had actually chosen names before finding out so everyone knew name and sex from 19 weeks. It was awesome getting to know the little person inside me and knowing his name and talking to him. His name is a little unusual and some people don't like it. By telling everyone the name beforehand they had time to get used to it and now noone thinks anything of it - it is just his name. But each to their own!