Our Loss

Hello All,

This is my first post here and i would firstly like to say i'm sorry to everyone that has had a loss.

This is our story,

Found out i was pregnant the middle of september 08, we were over the moon to say the least.

1 week later i started to bleed, not spotting like i had been told could happen, but really heavily. I naturally went straight to emergency at the local hospital. They did the usual blood tests/ultrasound etc and at that point they could only determine that i had a pregnancy sac. There was no fetal pole present at this stage because i was too early.

Went back 1 week later to have another ultrasound and there was a fetal pole present but no heartbeat because i was still too early.

Went back another week later and there was our beautiful angel's heartbeat.

Because i was still bleeding heavily at this point i went for fortnightly checkups to make sure there still life inside me. There was every time i went.

I went for my 16 week checkup on the 27/11/08 and my doctor informed me that my waters had broken and sent me straight up to the ward for bed rest. Seeing my cervic was still closed our baby had a 1 in 4 chance of survival.

Unfortunatley at 7.34 pm 28/11/08 my cervix had opened and i delivered our sleeping angel and it was the hardest thing that i have ever had to do.

Still to this day i don't know why i started to bleed at 6 weeks and continued to bleed non stop for 10 weeks but hopefully when i go for a checkup in a few weeks time they can give me answers.

Hubby and i decided at the time of delivery that we want to try again ASAP but i feel that people might think we are just trying to replace our little one but thats not the case as all... Nothing can ever replace a lost child.

Go bless us all

Welcome to BB Mishyy, I'm so sorry for your loss :hug:. What a terrible time you are going through :(.

There is nothing wrong with trying again as soon as you feel ready, don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks, it is entirely up to you and your DH. You love your precious baby and always will and another baby will be a welcome addition to your family.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and I wish you all the very best with TTC :hug:.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful sleeping angel. May she rest in peace and watch over her mummy and daddy.

Mishyy I'm so sorry to read about your terrible loss. You are very strong for going through what you did.
Don't feel guilty for wanting another one so soon. It's only natural to desire to have life inside of you again. On a positive note, that fact that you guys were able to conceive in the first place is a good sign.
I wish you all the best in your future attempts at TTC and I hope you have a little one to hold in your arms someday soon.

X

Hi,
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious angel. My baby boy was born sleeping at 24wks and I too like you wanted to have another baby straight away. This is such a natural feeling and there is nothing wrong with that. You are so right in saying that having another baby will never replace your lost angel. Your angel will always remain close to your heart.

Regards,
Dianne

Mishyy I too am sorry for your loss. It's a shame that you join our community at BellyBelly under such difficult personal circumstances - may you find healing and hope.

I am thinking of you at this sad time. I too believe that you and only you, will know when it is the right time to TTC again, anyone who passes judgement is not worth worrying about.
CB xo

:hug: I am sorry for your loss. As for trying again, only you guys can decide that, do what feels right for you and the rest of them can just get nicked.

Thankyou so much for all your replies, it means alot to get support like this.

Hi Mishyy, I am so very sorry for your loss. Like most of the other ladies have said, you do what is right for you and do not give a second thought to anyone who passes judgement, they have NOT been through what you have. When you are ready, come and join us in the "TTC after late loss" thread where all of the girls have suffered a late loss and are now TTC - actually quite a few are pregnant again so am hoping their luck rubs off on me.... :hug:

hi Mishyy, i am so sorry for you loss.I lost my baby girl on the 11-11-08 at 28wks i had a emergency c-section and my dh and i feel the same way about trying asap we have also had the comments about trying to replace chloe but that is not the way we feel we just beleive that this a step we need to do to move on. so do what ever your heart desires i beleive that we know what is right for us.big hugs to you.

Thanks everyone :)

Don't get me wrong nobody has said anything about replacing our baby, it's just something that has entered my mind that people will think this.... I guess all these emotions are coming and going and i just need time to get my head around it.

I will for sure join you ladies at TTC after Late Loss as soon as hubby and i start trying again.

My bleeding has pretty much stopped now so can someone tell me when we can start trying??? Can we start now or do i have to wait until AF arrives?? I need to know on a medically based as i'm physically/emotionally/mentally ready, just not sure when "medically" we are able to start again...

So sorry to hear of your loss :hug:

I lost my little one at 18/19 wks and your right...........it is hard :hug:

My DH and i were the same with wanting to start trying again straight away. There is nothing wrong with it.

Its probably best to wait one cycle before ttc again. It also might take a few months before you start ovulating proparly again, thats what happened to me.

I hope it all goes well and you are holding a precious bundle very soon :hug:

Hi Mishyy,

So sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my little girl on 29/10 and DH and I have decided to TTC soon, we felt the same about wanting to start straight away, I think it's quite a natural feeling and something I'm sure most will understand. I hope you get the facts about what happened with your pregnancy and some helpful information for next time. All the very best. As dd0207 said, come & join our thread in TTC after late miscarriage.

Love
Berry

I"m so sorry you had to go through all that. Sometimes life just isn't fair or kind. Sending you a cyberhug and keeping you in my prayers.

im sorry for your loss.
xxx

Mishyy, I'm so sorry for you loss. It's so completely devistating it can't even be put into words.

I recently lost our little baby angel on the 11/12 at 18 weeks.
During a monthly checkup the Dr's found that his little heart and stopped beating, i was admitted into hospital the next morning and put into labour. We're unsure as to what has happened as yet but have so far been told he had a lot of deformaties and nature just took it's course, but it's still so hard. I miss my little bump and feel completely empty, like i'm missing a limb.

My partner and I are also wanting to TTC again ASAP and I have had pangs of guilt about replacing our little one, especially when i could start TTC now if i could, (but had been advised to wait for tests to come back, and for my cycle to return to normal), even though that isn't the case at all, we love out little baby so much.

I wish you all the luck in the future for TTC, and hope you are blessed with a little baby as soon as you're ready.

xx

I'm so sorry for your losses ladies - nothing can be more painful than losing a child, unborn or not.

I have an appointment on thursday so hopefully we will get some answers as to what happened.

Giving everyone hugs.

Mishy & Teagz,
I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious angesl.
If you and your DH/DF feel you want another baby... don't let other's opinions stop you for TTC. After I lost Noah I was told I could start TTC from my first regular AF cycle, but to wait a year for the mental side of it all because they wanted me to get past Noah's first anniversary before trying again.
I took on board the medical side and from my first regular AF, DH and I started TTC again. We conceived Harrison on my 3rd cycle. It was difficult at first emotionally, because in a way I felt like I was betraying Noah... and Harrison was also due 12 days before Noah's 1st anniversary. It really was a bittersweet moment when I first got that BFP. DH & I were over the moon though, and now we're blessed with the most amazing little guy! I believe that Harrison helped me through my grief as my DH & I tried for 14 months for Noah... then we lost him. We both ached for a baby that we could bring home and hold in our arms. I am happy that we had Harrison when we did, he brought joy to us after we had so much sorrow.

Thinking of you both :hug:

Let us know how your appointment works out.

Lisa - I'm glad you have little Harrison - Noah will never be replaced :)

I went for my appointment yesterday and as ithought they couldn't really tell me anything.

The bloods and stuff they took from me when it happened came back that i didn't have any infection or anything like that. The tests they did/doing on the placenta and our little angel won't be available for another 3-4 weeks and i couldn't get another appointment until the end of feb because my doctor is on holidays. so another 9 weeks or so before we find out anything even if it more than likely just the sex of our baby. We were told that 99.9% of the time a cause is not found as to why a misscarriage occurs.

We will be TTC as soon as my first AF arrives :)

Thanks ladies for the the replies/support etc, it means the world.

Glad to hear you didn't have an infection. It must be really hard to wait 3 or 4 weeks to find out the rest of your results.
Thinking about you and hope everything goes well, keep us posted.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and had to have a d&c. Stay strong and God bless.

I am truely sorry to read of your loss. I too have lost a child at 16 weeks although for different reason. My heart goes out to you.
Take care,
Hugs
Debbie

Hi Mishyy,
My heart goes out to you at this very difficult time. I lost my little boy at 20 weeks and now I'm treating the problem ( fibroid ) that caused my miscarriage. My strong desire to carry a child is still very much there, althought I don't want to replace Joshua, he's my first born and my special little angel. I'll be trying again as soon as my OB gives me the green light.
Good luck on your journey hun.
Love and big hugs
Beata.

:

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The bloods and stuff they took from me when it happened came back that i didn't have any infection or anything like that. The tests they did/doing on the placenta and our little angel won't be available for another 3-4 weeks and i couldn't get another appointment until the end of feb because my doctor is on holidays. so another 9 weeks or so before we find out anything even if it more than likely just the sex of our baby. We were told that 99.9% of the time a cause is not found as to why a misscarriage occurs.

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Sounds like the story of my life at the moment! But luckily I've managed to jag an appointment at the begining of Jan for all our tests, but it still feels like a billion years away. I can't even imagine waiting til the end of Feb!
I guess we know that it's nothing our bodies/we could have caused, as bittersweet as it is.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas and plenty of good luck for 2009! :bluedust::pink-babydust: