Hmmmmm am I really the only one struggling with my body????

Ok - so i just want to preface this thread with

1) I absolutely love my unborn little man and
2) I love my baby bump and watching it grow and feeling him move, knowing that my body is creating and nurturing him.

BUT

I absolutely hate everything else about my pg body. I have friends who tell me that they were made to be pg and they love it more than not being pg and they wish they could just be about 7 months pg all the time (seriously someone said that to me at DF's christmas party last week :) )

I am so thrilled for you - honestly I mean that!
But I am not a part of that club - I tolerate being pregnant and I know that is a highly taboo thing to say in baby circles but I'm gonna put it out there.

Last night I was at my antenatal class and the teacher asked everyone if they were happy with their bodies while they are pg....

Everyone was silent and just nodded. So to my way of thinking they probably aren't but they aren't game to say anything in front of the forum for fear of being judged.

PHOOOEYYY!!!!

I think my bump is gorgeous and sexy - sure I haven't seen my vagina in about 4 months and having sex makes me think I should join cirque de soleil as a contortionist but I love this big glowing beacon of my femininity sticking out the front of me. :lol:

But I HATE the fact that I am soooooooo full of fluid that I really don't have any ankles at all and my knees are so swollen that I can barely fit them in my jeans.

I HATE that I lost so much weight before I fell pg and was finally into size 12 pants and feeling really good and now I am in size 16-18 pants (I am convinced they make maternity wear sizes really small or is that just me??? )and I feel horrible and embarrased and just don't want to go out anymore.

I HATE that DF is in the best shape of his life and says that yes I am really big now but I'm pg and we'll fix it when little man arrives - stop being so positive el buffo!!!! :rofl:

I HATE that my arms make the tuckshop lady look toned tight and terrific.

I HATE that I have an obsession with ice cream and cravings that even the blasted Dalai Lama couldn't use self control to ride out - and I hate even more that it's for McDonalds soft serve and you have to deal with the stares of people when ordering it that are clearly saying
"You shouldn't be eating that for a whole heap of reasons lard arse oh and by the way didn't you read the chapter on listeria...."

I HATE the cellulite that is now on places that I didn't think cellulite actually went ....

But most of all I hate the feeling of helplessness that comes with it.....

When you are just large or overweight you can make the choice to exercise and change it but when you are in the last stages of pg just walking around the supermarket is a huge effort and you have to wait to not be pg to be able to make the changes you need to.

I don't know about any of you ladies but the idea of going for a power walk or a run just makes me want to crawl under a rock and die ....LOL

Phew!!! Now I guess I am wondering if I am the only person who feels even a little bit like this and if so how are you dealing with these feelings?

Hmmmm... ok now I am off to pack the car to go up the farm and spend 4 days with my 5'10 size 8 SIL .....:ROFL:

you are doing a amazing thing huni..and you look amazing.
just wanted to offer huge hugs and i hope somebody pops in with words to make you feel better.
you do look amazing huni.
love rach xxx

Dee, I know what you mean - I have my days where I look at my fingers and wonder who swapped them for chippolatas :lol:

I have put on more weight this time around than I did with DD and I was looking good prior to getting pregnant this time as I had lost all the preg weight so I am a bit disappointed that I have put more on - damn morning sickness that only responded to pasta, rice and bread!!

However, although I am waddling and looking incredibly ungraceful I do know that it is only short-term and I won't look like this forever.

Also I recall saying to DP before I got pregnant again that I had really loved being pregnant. He responded "no you didn't, you were uncomfortable and whingy" but I didn't remember that - I do now!! I think we are programmed to forget the bad things about pregnancy so that we do it again. While I'm sure some women do actually love being pregnant there are many of us who only think they did.

I do and dont like being pregnant............ i love having a bump and feeling all the kicks and moves from my bubs but i hate my body!!!!! I have always been concious of my body and before i was pregnant i was a gym junkie working out twice a day and walking to and from work cuz i dont like being fat or carrying around extra weight........so its a hard transition going from being varely skinny to being large, i do understand however that it is for a short time but i think now that im near the end its harder cuz it seems to be going so slow and everyday i put on a little extra beef and my stomach gets that little bit bigger. I think i have found it more depressing when i go looking for clothes, they just sit really funny and look stupid or dont fit at all, so im sitting here wondering what the hell im gonna wear christmas day?????? I cant show my legs cuz whilst being pregnant i have gained the hideous varicose veins.... only on one leg!!!!! arrrgggghhhhh i just wont this to be over.

Yes some people probably do love being pregnant but i do think a handful of people just say it, cuz its easy to say it when you dont actually look and feel like a beached whale. Im sure in a years time ill say i loved being pregnant to, only for my husband to say NO YOU DIDNT!!!!!!!!

So Dee your definately not alone

Nai and RainbowGirl - Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings!!!!

It can be very easy to think that you are alone and a horrible mother when everyone around you is saying how wonderful it is.

I know that it's all worth it and it's only temporary but sometimes it really gets you down.
You girls rock for being so honest - have a great chrissy xoxoxox

:hug: I remember that, and it can seem taboo to say that you're not 100% impressed.

As Nai says, it's not forever, and I know the discomfort sucks, but I promise people won't be noticing your tuck shop lady arms, or your puffy ankles, they'll just be seeing that glorious belly.

And the cravings - I found it useful when I craved something unhealthy to ask - what's in this that my body is after? Like ice-cream - could you be needing dairy? With me it was slurpees - and apparently craving ice can be a symptom of iron-deficiency (and it was in my cases). So I try to figure out what my body wants, and then substitute for something healthier.

Hey Dee, I'm with you!

Love the pregnancy, love the bump, love the boobs.

Do not love the acres of stretch marks everywhere EXCEPT my belly (including on one boob only and on one CALF. Who gets stretch marks on their calves?!?!?!!? :o ), do not love the cellulite, do not love that even my mat pants are now feeling tight.

Do not love how I looked in bathers while on holiday last week.

Do not love having to break to mood in the middle of DTD to ask DH to help me move or put a pillow behind me. Do not love the back pain, rib pain and sausage feet.

Do not love the cankles.

You are not alone!!!

I'm so glad you started this thread DoubleDee.

In the early stages I felt wonderful to be pregnant- especially when I was at that stage where I could still see my toes but I was 'out there' enough for people to stand up and offer me a seat on the train!! But, when I hit 7 and a half months, things started to change. By 8 months, I was pretty much a hermit- my feet and ankles were so swollen I couldn't wear anything but thongs. I spent last trimester over summer (I don't recommend this!), so whenever I went outside I felt like a big sweaty hefa!! I remember whining to DH about how hard it was to get in and out of the car...lol.
I am normally very slim and fit, and ate pretty healthy during the pregnancy, so I didn't expect the weight gain to get to me like it did. I knew it was healthy weight gain but it still got to me. Not being able to wear any of your normal clothes sucks too.

Thankfully- you will find that the majority of the fluid is lost in the week following the birth, and then breastfeeding assists dramatically with the weightloss process.
Hang in there- you are certainly not alone in feeling this way. It is so normal to want your body back- and then when you get it back- before long, you want to be UTD again!! We women are so weird....lol!!

Yes I hear you!! I cant' wait to have the bub so I can lose weight!! I just dont like being bigger than normal> I too LOVE my baby and watching my bump wriggle, but I feel invisible, overlooked, big, ugly etc. I just feel that and I am careful not to say it as like you said, it's a taboo subject.
I have friends say they love seeing me pregnant because it means Im not thin anymore. That doesn't help..............
Im just hanging out for being able to do something about it, because like you said we can't do the weightloss thing while preggas!
Just wanted you to know there are others out there!! xo

I hear you sister! :-)

I HATE what my body is doing and how it is feeling.

But I also have no maternal instinct yet, cannot feel my baby, am already fat so am not showing well so don't feel emotionally connected to it in any way.

Really really really dislike my body right now!

i hate being pg
i hate being this fat

now...i'm going to go eat an ice cream

Dee, while I don't hate what my body *looks* like (I actually find it quite freeing being pregnant and enjoy the look of it more then than when I'm not - probably because there's an excuse for the big jelly belly ;)) I hate how it feels, and during pregnancy I'm one long whinge.

I have chronic pain that just gets worse with pregnancy, I get so tired I cry from it nearly every day, I get massive headaches, my heart pounds, and my pelvis really, really hurts. And I know that in two months' time the really painful movement is going to start, and the irritable uterus has started up...

After five kids, though, I've learned to go with the flow. If I need a sleep, I have a sleep. If I need a jolly good walk, I go and have one. If I don't want to eat lunch and I just want fruit all afternoon, I've just learned that my body is trying to tell me something and I just do what it's telling me.

When dd5 was about five months old, I remember sitting on her bed in front of the mirror in her room and wincing at my hands. My fingers are quite stubby, and the skin on them is quite wrinkly from too much sun. But I thought, look at what those hands are doing. I was patting her back and holding her and transmitting so much love through those hands. And I looked at her hands the same way she must look at my hands - gentle things that guide her, hold her, stroke and soothe her. And I felt so much better about my hands after that.

Awesome post.

Dee, you really look beautiful ok? In fact you, Nai and Rainforest look so perfectly pregnant you make me very clucky. I really mean that - Nai you were GLOWING the other day, Rainforest you radiate happy, and Dee your bump is perfect - I forgot to tell you the other day. You look like a mummy to be, it won't be much longer till its over AND.......you will feel 1000% literally as soon as he is born, once he is out...aaahhhhhh man it feels so good!

Hope the farm ain't too feral xoxoxoxo

awwww, that's so sweet :)
you've made my day

i love the fact that i'm pregnant and have this beautiful baby growing inside me, and i love it when it kicks and i can feel it move about, however i can't help but feel fat at times too.
but what i really can't deal with is the fact that other pregnant mothers and past pregnant mothers are always comparing their bellies to mine. this is so irritating and i can't stand it.
i've always been a very small frame and i still am whilst pregnant and seem to be all belly (except these lovely veins and celulite on my legs), but i have still gotten a bit concious of my growing body, and sometimes just need that encouragment, like all of us do, that our bodies are beautiful, especially whilst pregnant.
but i have lots of mums coming up to me at kindy all the time asking me when i'm due and saying oh your way smaller than me when i was at that stage, and also i have mothers come up to me and say, oh your huge at that stage and you must be having one huge baby cause i wasn't that big. then i get all concious and have to come home and check in the mirror or the net to make sure it's all right.
ridiculous i know but i can't help it. then i find myself avoiding them when i see then coming in.
i would just like the nice comments not the negative ones.....ha ha is this possible.

I'm not pregnant at the moment, but I hear ya! Especially at the end of the pregnancy when those hormones were making me eat crazy crazy food. Urgh I hated my body. I think it's pretty normal.:hug:

Ditto to the whole thing Dee.

The time between BFP and baby is really tough for me. Love feeling the movements etc and rubbing the little bump. But would be just as happy to skip it all and go straight to the delivery room! hang in there. And have a nice trip away!

Hi All .....

Just got back from the farm so sorry it's taken me so long to respond.

FIRSTLY- thankyou to all the wonderful ladies who posted here and let the rest of us know we're not strange or alone - as a lot of you said it can be so taboo to say "hey you know what at the moment this whole pregnancy caper just isn't grabbing me!!"

There were too many wonderful responses to start mentioning everyone but I just want to say how much I appreciate all the thoughts and feelings!!!

You know what the funny thing is though ...... no matter how crappy we feel about ourselves and how much we beat ourselves up - the thing is the majority of people think we look beautiful - maybe we should all stop being our own worst critics and listen to them more? Hmmmm..... eaier said than done but I am really gonna try.

xoxoxoxoxxoxoxox

ps: just found my first strech marks grrrrr .... :lol:

i'm a bit overweight as it is, but always had an hourglass figure and my body was in proportion no matter big i got. But since being pregnant, my boobs have ballooned and my tummy has gotten bigger, though not sideways, just outwards, so i already look five or six months pregnant which gets me all kinds of weird looks when i say i'm only 9 and a half weeks pregnant. i'm really hating it.

Plus my DP has lost alot of weight lately and although i'm happy for him, i have to say i'm bit jealous. Becuase he eats sooooooo much chocoloate, and fatty stuff he still loses it!!!

He keeps telling me how great i look and how sexy i am, but when you feel like your already full term, you can't quite believe it.
I hate being pregnant, i really do. My DP's family asked me the other night when we were going to have another one, to which i replied "never, i hate this"

:

---

...You know what the funny thing is though ...... no matter how crappy we feel about ourselves and how much we beat ourselves up - the thing is the majority of people think we look beautiful - maybe we should all stop being our own worst critics and listen to them more? Hmmmm..... eaier said than done but I am really gonna try.

---

Well said sister :clap::clap:

I'm going to do the same. Or try to :D

What? You mean you're NOT conforming to the ideal of being a 'yummy mummy'? How disgraceful! What kind of mummy to be are you? You must look like an icecream stick with a bump on it, didn't you know?
ARGHHHHH! I blame the media's obsession with approving of 'stars' who don't "let go of themselves" in pregnancy. In fact, how many of those stars don't even bother? The media then has a love/hate relationship with stars who work towards regaining physical approval by working out after the birth - oooohhh, too soon, bad mother or oooohhhh, there's a shining example, she's skinny again (read: what's wrong with you, it's 5 months later and you still wobble). I HATE IT.
This is how much I hate it: when I was pregnant I actually lost weight in the first trimester, but it wasn't noticeable to many because the people I'd worked with had only known me to be a bit plump (two years before that I was not, but Depo Provera can do that!) and it seemed that I was putting weight on 'responsibly'. A colleague was also pregnant a bit ahead in time of me and I absolutely LOATHED the unfavourable comparisons - "oh, at x weeks, D was so much bigger than you", "don't get as big as D, there's no need and you look great", and "at least you're not as big as D". What???? There is no way I want to be complimented at someone else's expense! Yeah, it may work for other people, but I think it's so hideous and superficial and completely invalidating of the other person, who is doing something wonderful in cooking a little person...why should it matter how publicly digestible my figure is???
We're told to feel dissatisfied with our bodies at every turn and in many ways. Without these messages, we would accept the changes and not have to waste energy on hating how they look. To me, it's like underarm hair. If it weren't so unequivocal that our society wants women to remove it, I'd bloody well leave it and be HAPPY about it. I do not buy when women say "I do it for myself". In fact, every time I do it, I show DP and say "I do this for you" (legs and bikini, too!), just so that we're both under no illusions about my motives. It's a social pressure that I am responding to, and only because he asks me to do it. So, if he's going to ask me to do it, I'm going to let him know when I do it so that he knows I'm indulging aesthetic convention.
So, no WONDER you aren't valuing the changes your body is making (beyond the bump)! We tell women all the time that there is only one nice way to be pregnant and if you don't comply, then it's very unsatisfactory and dont' try to feel nice about it!
My mum is still an offender, though she thinks she's doing a good thing. She keeps saying how nice I look when I'm slim. There's an unsaid "so don't put on any more weight" implied there! And when I have put some on and then lost it, she'll say "oh, you look nice like that, don't put any more on"...which tells me that she didn't like the way I looked before that...and she can't see how conditional that is and that it's upsetting to me. It even upset me when she kept on about how my sister wasn't able to lose her belly after her first baby. It gives me no joy whatsoever to be compared favourably to anyone. I like to be appreciated in my own right, not in comparison to someone related, someone I know or a famous person. Just unconditionally accepted for what I have to offer.
My pg body was not my ideal body with a bump tacked onto it. I knew that whatever my body was doing it had to do. And it would do what it had to do afterwards, too. Two and a half years later my sides still wobble and are soft and untoned. And you know what? My boy loves to stroke my sides and press his hands into them whilst feeding or sleeping :) I'm literally his soft place to fall, as well as his emotional soft place...and that's my most important role to date. How other people approve or disapprove of it doesn't make a difference to my boy. I give him unconditional acceptance and I get the same back :)
When a new mother tells me that she is going to go for walks to lose weight or whatever, I dont' make a fuss and I don't tell her it's a great thing - I don't want her to think I approve of the race to 'get her body back'. Instead, I talk about diet and eating useful carbs, proteins etc over eating junk food - particularly because lactation is going to take all the good stuff and leave you with the crap to store in your own body!
Just think, Marilyn Monroe and her peers were lusted after by millions of men, and emulated by millions of women...and size 14-18 was de rigeur among them all!

I am really struggling this time around.
I dont know if its cos I started out 10 kilos heavier than I was with DS1 - I do know I was devestated not to get back to my pre preg weight, after all I had over 2 years to do it.
Part of it is because i put on so much last time I'm terrified of it happening again.
then there are people constantly telling me how huge I am and asking if I'm sure its now twins - yeah that makes me feel better :(
I know for the most part I am eating better this pg than the last, when I was constantly ravenous.
I'm exercising but no more than normal, prob 45 mins 4 times a week.

I just feel unhappy about it. I do get jealous of those pg women they use for model who look like a size 8 woman with a canteloup up her top.

I REALLY hate that my BBs dont get any bigger, not enough to go up a letter anyway, just a number or too - at least if I felt better in that dept maybe I'd be a bit happier about the whole thing.

Grr, I dunno, part of me just wants it all to be over so I can go to my 6 weeks appt & start WW again.