how do i get her to understand that........

bedtime is NOT playtime!

The past 2 nights Mia has decided that when she goes to bed she will lay there and smile and toss and turn and thinks its a big joke. To me its not.. 3 hours these past 2 night just to get her to sleep in beyond rediculous. Ive tried rocking..patting and all the above. And trust me, shes tired... very tired... she fights it something shocking tho. Tonight i have turned out all the lights to try and trick her that its the middle of the night... but no.. DP is in there now with her.

I dont want this to turn into a bad habit IYKWIM... so how can i help her realise its sleep time now?

TIA

When Oscar went through a phase like that I just made sure I made no eye contact and just "Shhhhhed" and didn't say any words. He seemed to go through that stage fairly quickly thank goodness. Hope it's the same for you.

thanks danielle.. we did try that but 2 hours or so of going "shhhh" makes my mouth quite sore.. Persistance in the key i guess! how long can i expect this "phase" to go for?

does your little one nap during the day? we are having to cut back how long DD#2 naps as she will do the same thing. I don't mind them having a little wind down time, even up to 45mins I guess, but with a shorter nap during the day, she never seems to get to the 30min mark before she's out like a light.

ETA: oops *blush* just saw how little your little one is, sorry. my scenario may not be helpful now......... although, we did do probably more routine style napping with our little ones which in turn, imo, helped for night time settling....... and although I shouldn't say this as you are finding yourself settling for hours, your little one sounds like a massive bundle of cute joy!! :D

yeh she doe nap during the day but if she doesnt she screams murder until i put her to bed.. its now 9pm but shes been awake since 3pm!!! For a 10 week old she would be exhausted.

This can be really frustrating..hugs hon.

Make bedtime really boring for her and be consistent. If bub is not crying but just playing then leave her be. Only go in when she gets upset, but don't over fuss. No eye contact and limited speech. Eventually she'll get it. If DD was upset I would go into the room pick her up cuddle and put her straight back down.

Your bub may also be going through a major time for developement and her sleep patterns may be temporarily distrupted. HTH

Oh yeah try and stay calm. If you are getting angry just put bub down and walk out for a bit.

Aaaargh I'm going through this at the moment with DS it's so frustrating :wall: He was a great sleeper he would have 3 naps in the day and then sleep 10-12 hours at night, now he fights sleeping in the day and night, and I've tried everything. I know how you feel it's exhausting and sometimes I get so upset because DH has been away for work for the past two weeks :angry:

Anyway I'm just trying to be consistent with our usual bedtime routine and hoping that he'll get past it soon or exhaust himself either would be great.

Good luck!

At 2 months, it cant really turn in to a bad habit, and you cant spoil her. Up til 12 months even, its more when a toddler starts doing it that its a habitual thing.

sometimes DS would be awake and unhappy for hours at a time. 10 hours, even 12 hours straight once with no sleep. For either of us :( So I do feel your ehxaustion and frustration.

8 weeks is actually really good if shes going down at 9pm for you , DS ddnt start regularly going down earlier than around 10:30 til he was about 7 months old.

Even though he was sleeping 8+ hours at night from 8 weeks, he didnt go to bed "early"/
then all of a sudden on night he went to sleep at 8pm ad slept for 12 hours, and that became his normal sleep time from that night onward, without us even trying.

have you got a set night routine for her???
i.e bath, bottle, bed?

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have you got a set night routine for her???
i.e bath, bottle, bed?

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Im TRYING! but she keeps throwing it out of whack! :wall:

what time is she up from her last sleep? DD went to bed at 5.45pm from about 3-9 months!!! id bath at 5pm then feed and bed

well it goes sorta like this... from her arvo nap which is about 2-3hours she wake around 4pm she then has a feed, has a play and then daddy gets home at about 5ish. She then jumps in the shower with dad around 6ish and then around 7 she has another feed and this is when i try and get her to go to sleep. Im trying to keep her up during the day but she also has colic and it makes daytime very stressful (hence the shower with dad, i find this brings up alot of wind).

i forgot to add.. 90% of the time i will wake her around 11pm and try and get atleast 60mls in (shes not a good dream feeder) but I feel better knowing that shes not going 12 hours without a feed.

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what time is she up from her last sleep? DD went to bed at 5.45pm from about 3-9 months!!! id bath at 5pm then feed and bed

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My DS also had an early bedtime.

It is so easy to miss the 'tired signs' and have them go from tired to overtired quickly.

I feel your pain, my DS Had major sleep issues at around the same time. He would scream if we tried to put him in the cot. I ended up rocking him to sleep and then feeding. WE have been having issues on and off since then but I am sure yours will quickly resolve. DS now quite often does put himself to sleep. Most of the time getting him to sleep now is not the issue, it is keeping him there.

Hang in there. It will get better. You will have ups and downs but it won't be awful all the time. Do whatever works and just hang in there. There is no right or wrong just whatever you feel comfortable with. For more ideas or suggestions Karitane have an information sheet on their website of ways to settle. Though it does sound like you are doing all the 'right' things

maybe im in the minority here but if shes happy then keep her up a bit longer - i think its pointless trying to set a sleep routine till bub is at least 6mths. (by that I mean a set bedtime, not the routine before bed if that makes sense?!)
just put her in a bouncer, or on the floor with some toys for another half hr, then try bedtime again.
I know its hard when youre tired etc, but I think its worse to try and force sleep if its not working.
Sorry hollye, I know its prob not what you wanted to hear?! :hide:

How long does she go between sleeps. From what you said above, maybe she's up for too long. My DS is 4 mths old now and is still only going 1- 1 1/2hrs between sleeps. If they're over tired, stragenly enough it makes them sleep less....

i was going to say the same as kellie in that she is over tired/stimulated, maybe try actually putting her down by 6pm, so shower/bath by 5

but when shes going down she wants to play.. so i didnt think she would be over tired??

Hey Hollye - our routine for B is bath/shower at 1730 - bottle after, than she sits in her bouncer with us until her next feed around 2100 (lately its been around 2030). When we give her, her last feed we don't interact with her what so ever, once she is done she is burped than wrapped and put too bed, sometimes with dummy somtimes without, i only go into her when she is kicking her legs and whinging, which means she needs another burb or if she is whinging cause dummy has fallen out or the music on her mobile has stopped, if she is quietly talking to herself or playing i ignore her! and when i do go in, once again its no eye contact or chit chat, its strictly business so to say!
Its hard but it works - these days she is sound asleep within 30mins!

If it makes you feel any better Hollye, this photo https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...73&ppuser=7448 of DD was taken at midnight when she was 8 weeks old! Wide awake and happy as Larry.

I remember she went through a stage where she would just want to play and despite my best efforts wouldn't go to sleep at a 'normal' time so I just went with the flow and after trying for a reasonable amount of time would just get her up again because she didn't cry once she was up again.

So I reckon, try a few things - either the bed earlier or bed later and see what works best for you but just don't stress too much. As someone else said, it's really early days yet in the whole scheme of things so don't make bedtime a battle.

Oh, and by the way, DD is a fantastic sleeper now so she certainly didn't develop any bad habits.

Hollye - I feel your pain. DD changed her sleeping patterns around that time also and it took me about 3-4 weeks to cotton on to what she was doing.. However the good news was that she was changing all her sleeps around and is now sleeping through (about 9.30pm till about 6am, then dream feed and sleeping till about 9am)

I'm with the other girls on asking if she is over stimulated. Going from 3pm till 9pm at 10 weeks is far too long without a sleep so I'd say that is the issue, overtired and just wanted to fight it as you mentioned. DD even now will stay awake for about 40 minutes to 2 hours at a time. The fact she is kicking and playing can still mean she is tired. Even now DD cracks up literally with a chuckle when I lay her on the wrap and wrap her up but I pop her in bed and she instantly closes her eyes and goes to sleep. It's almost like I flick a switch and off she goes to sleepy land.

If she is throwing your bedtime routine out of whack then you'll need to adjust the order you are trying. DD used to wake around the same time you mentioned in the afternoon from her nap and I'd then feed, bath and have a little play and then she was back in bed by 6pm. She soon changed that and soon wasn't even making it to the end of her bath without screaming her head off for sleep. When that happened she started going for a nap (1 cycle) around 6pm, waking around 7pm and then staying awake till around 9/9.30pm. I soon figured out that at that time (4pm) a feed AND Bath and PLAY was all too much so i changed it to just a feed and little play and back to bed. At first I was fighting to get her back to sleep but as soon as I worked out it wasn't going to happen and just got her up, unwrapped her and put her on her mat to play, she let all the energy out, wanted another feed, and then off to bed. Her longest time awake now is between her last nap around dinner time and when she goes to bed. I moved her bath time from after her afternoon nap to after her 6/7pm nap to space it out and not get her over stimulated. So now... She has her 4pm nap, will wake around 5pm. She has a feed and maybe a little play, back to bed around 6pm, up about 7pm. Has a bath and another feed and then awake till bed time. It seems to be working well, so far..

I'd try some different options, maybe put her down for a nap at the very first sign of being tired. I know when DD is ready as she goes from a happy baby who talks and gurgles to making stronger more sharper noises and gets her arms really swinging up and down. I also found that if she could see the TV it was over stimulating so I'd make it that she'd play with toys (no noisy ones to over stimulate) and turn her away from watching TV..

Also wondering if the shower is overstimulating for her with the water on her skin. Maybe try a calm bath where she can just lay and relax and play a little.

Unfortunately when they go through these routine changes it's hard to work it out straight away so may take a little trial and error to work out what she wants to do.

Have you tried seeing what happens if you don't wake her for the 11pm feed? I used to do the same thing as DD wouldn't dream feed (would get about 20ml in before working out "hey there is a bottle in my mouth, I might wake up") so i stopped doing it and just demand fed and she soon dropped that feed altogether.

I'm not that far ahead of you in terms of bubba's age but shows how much things can change. Hope things settles down soon for you.

Being awake and partying is a classic sign of overtiredness (who woulda thunk?) !

She is staying awake too long and at this stage routines should (hate that word!) be based around her clock not the one on the wall iykwim? Awake for 60-90min then back down again. HTH xoxoxoxoxoxo

thanks heaps girls. Im going to follow all the advice today and try and get her nice and settled for night time.

Belinda - if i dont wake her for her 11pm feed she usually still sleeps till 6-7am but that was when he feeds are at 9:30pm. So coz im trying to get her down by like 7-7:30 she gets another one about 11.. tho lastnight it was nearly midnight and she drank.. burped and went straight back to sleep till 7. Tho she was tossing and turning from about 4 so shes asleep atm.. which is usual for her.. she has her big sleep in the morning usually 8-11am (shes been that way since the day she was born).

This is going to sound dumb but... do you pick her up and rock her at all? Or try a rocker? For Jazz, being patted (is that a word LOL) and 'shhhh'd just makes her more alert, as does eye contact. We need to pick her up and rock her, or put our hand on her belly and rock her (using a rocker was what we had to do to start with though, then in our arms, then in bed).

Also, I know CHNs would go into panic attacks, but feeding to sleep isn't the catastrophic end of the world event they make it out to be. Try turning the lights off, lying down in your bed and bfing and giving her a bottle, and then transferring her once she's asleep if she sleeps in a cot.

:hug: We also had a horrible time, Jazz would fight a sleep from 3pm and then end up overtired and screaming by 8pm :hug: So I know what you're going through. It gets easier, she's sleeping in the afternoon now (just wish she'd sleep more through the night *yawn*).

Hollye hun I have to be quick- ds is due to wake any second- but I'd say overtired. I'm not generally a huge fan of Karitane but they have some brilliant stuff on up times/sleep times- how long bubs should be up and the tired signs.
Get a handle on this one now- it took me 9 months of chronic sleep deprivation (it was hell) to figure it out!

i agree with the overtired/overstimulated argument... we went to a class for early parenting and they told us not to keep X up for more than 60-90 mins at this age (they actually said 90 mins is more for 6mths old than 3 m.o). The number of times I've put him down even though he was wide awake and cute as a button and I feel like this awful mummy thinking am I putting him in this boring place on his own. I put him down, he's grinning, gurgling & having a soccer match for one in his cot... and i'm SO sure he won't sleep. I leave him there chatting, smiling at the roof and wriggling EVERY limb possible (on his own in the nursery btw)... then come back 5-15 mins later and he's asleep! Might be worth a try? I've definitely found that 60-90 mins guideline has been great... not all the time but definitely most of the time for us.

Also, is she actually crying? Sounds from your description like she's actually a pretty happy camper at this time?

today was going great.

She woke at 7am, fed, back to sleep 8, woke at 10:30am,fed, back to sleep 12, woke 1:30pm,fed 2pm, back to sleep at 2:45ish, woke 4:15, fed 5pm, shower 5:30pm, asleep for 30 mins then ALL hell breaks loose and she has been awake ever since.

hrmmm.. :(

Stick her in the pram and whip her round the block, or even the lounge room.

Its going to take another couple of days for her to settle into it. Hang in there!

I agree Hollye, you are doing great, just keep persisting.

I'm with everyone about the over-tired thing. Weird phenomenon, but seems to hold true.

Even at 6.5 months, Peter can't be up for longer than 1.5-2 hours- he NEEDS his sleep! But he doesn't like it either. Funnily enough, he can seem really tired and then you put him in his cot and- wa la- he is wide awake and giggling. Like others have said, we just leave him to play on his own and he will put himself to sleep. Obviously we go in if he gets really upset, but babbling and minor grizzling are now ignored. (and this is significant because I used to rock him to sleep everytime). It has made a HUGE difference, he is a much better sleeper. But it wasn't quick, so, yes keep persisting. And I would add that leaving him to his own devices only worked for us once he was 6 months old- before that it just didn't seem to work for a million reasons. So I guess I am saying, try the 'let her settle herself' thing (within reason, obviously), but if it doesn't work, do whatever keeps you and Mia sane and gets you some sleep and try again when she is older.

Best of luck and happy new year!

This might seem like a dumb question, but I'm sleep deprived so what the hey.... :)

I've got an 11 week old bean, who seems to be in the same boat as hollye's little one. It just seems like he doesn't want to sleep. I'm lucky if I can get him to sleep for 30 or 40 mins (at a time) during the day, and he stays awake for hours on end. I try to put him down, when it's obvious that he won't sleep we get back up for half an hour or so and try to catch the next wave *repeat ad nauseum*.

I take the point that it takes a few days for bubs to catch on, and this may be where I'm going wrong with instituting a pattern. I guess I just get frustrated and go back to the bad habits with a short term payoff.

Anyway, my question is - if bub's isn't supposed to be awake for more than 60 mins at a time, what am I supposed to do if I have an appointment or some such and we're out for more than an hour?


Tish
x

Tish - DD1 wouldnt sleep much during the day, even as a newborn! Dont worry too much - babies can catch up on sleep whenever, in the car, in the pram - wherever they are! Yes sometimes they can get overtired, but they will go to sleep eventually and catch up :)
Dont worry about what they "should" be doing :hug: youre doing a great job!

I ended up going to sleep school with Annabelle when she was a little older. They taught me things I would never had thought of.
Make sure if she has toys in her bed there is only ONE speacial one. Not heaps as that makes it playtime. Also make sure you and Dp are in a really great routiene. Mia will get her habbits off you guys ;)

Just thought I would reiterate what everyone else said too and say that we have always treated any feeds/awake time after 7 to be night time and made it as boring as possible. No lights, no talking, loads of cuddles, snuggles and feeds but no stimulation whatsoever. We give baths before this time or around 7ish and then that's it for the night. Both kids have had the same routine. James used to be wide awake after his 2 or 3am feed and I would wrap him tightly turn off all the lights after his feed and walk the house for up to an hour at times to get him to go to sleep. He got the point and doesn't bother waking now! Good luck hun and keep perservering!