Please answer my delivery qus!! Abt to be first time mum.

Hi all......
I have been watching a lot of births on youtube - possibly to my own detriment.
Anyways, I have noticed that the homebirths or some of the births at midwife run centres seem to be gentle with regard to delivery... not that they look less painfull, but the baby's head is allowed to come out of its own accord and the baby is gently scooped up etc.
I have been extremely disturbed however, by a lot of the hospital births where medical people are putting their hands in the vagina in some vain attempt to stretch the skin or holding on to the baby's head and pushing it down or pulling on it with what appears to be excessive force...... I could understand if the baby wasn't coming out after an excessive amount of time and the baby was distressed but I am watching real time movies and I can't help but be petrified and angry and think to myself.. leave the poor woman alone... a few more minutes and she could have done that if you had allowed her.
So my question is regarding everyone's personal experience of delivery in a hospital setting.... what exactly happened to you ? I will be giving birth in a private hospital that is WHO approved (1 of only 2 in Qld) so I am hoping for a gentle natural approach but I would really like to guage the general practices in place in Australian hospitals regarding the actual delivery (many of the vids I have watched are Euro or American so I don't know if I have been put off unneccessarily). Thanks so much and I would really appreciate any feedback regarding actual delivery practices.

i had a complete gentle approach from my mid wife with all 3 births.

the only time they touch me down there really was to hold a warm towel against my perineium (sp) to help prevent tearing.

other then that i was touching bubs head as she was coming out and allowed to (wanted to but forget to at the time) deliver her into my arms .. like catch her myself..

Good Question! Hmmm, I don't think that there was any excessive force put on my babies that wasn't needed - my last two babies needed help to get out due to mild shoulder dystocia, so my Dr and midwife did need to do a little bit of pushing etc to get them in the right position. For my first two births, it was just a gentle hand on their head so it didn't flop back when it was fully born and just pressure on my perenium to help stop tears.

All 5 of my kids have been born in a hospital midwife led delivery center, all the midwifes either sat in front or stood behind me, their hands were only there to guide the babys head out, no interference, no pulling it out, only unravelling the cord from around their necks.

Some times we torture ourselves for no reason.

Hi,
First- STOP YOUTUBING!!! You will only scare the **** out of yourself ;)

I birthed public, with a mw and an ob present (the ob due to complications in early labour). There was no excessive force used. I remember the mw grabbing my hand to touch the babies head (I still tear up thinking about it... *sniff*... 'scuse me). And that was in an emergency situation (the ob had already called the theatre to expect me in the next five minutes for an emergency c-sect), where they were trying to get the baby out as quick as possible.

i delivered in a private hospital.

i had forceps adn an episiotomy, though i didnt have a normal labour. i was enduced 3 days early after going in and out of labour for 2 weeks.

so after 12 hours of induction and contractions 3 min apart and my cervix not moving i got an epidural and dilated in 10 mins to 10 cm.

but taylah was in distress and basically if she didnt come out after 2 pushes it was a c section for me,

my OB/GYn delivered my baby as my midwife who was fantastic and gentle and so caring and encouraging said if we dont get ehr out thsi could turn bad and run my OB to come and get her out eitherway he could.

Thankyou so much for your quick responses and sharing your personal experiences....
LOL Lori..... I am going to take ur advice and finally listen to my hubbie and stop youtubing!!!!!! Thanks again y'all :)

Anhyvar, is it John Flynn or Selangor you're going to? ;)
Either way, I'm sure your delivery will be great. Both hospitals are very into low intervention and JF takes pride in waterbirths where you virtually do deliver bub gently by yourself as it's hard for the midwives/OB to get in there when you're in the water anyway.

Funy thing is whenever i'm scared or worried about giving birth, i watch youtube birth videos and they make me feel better!!

i watched alot of youtube vids lst pregnancy and the hospital ones are all very negative.. and i recall watching one where one birth was in a hospital and it did a fast forward and there was that many people constantly in/out of the room to her next being in a birth centre and there was maybe 2-3 coming into the room to check on her etc and it looked like a hotel room compared to clinical and blue..

my 2 births have been in public hospitals. One in newcastle (JHH) and one in Melbourne (frankston)
both births i only ever saw midwives.. the JHH sucked as i was monitored as they did not believe i was in labour (i'm not some1 who screams in pain) but come delivery i had 2 midwives letting me go and do what i wanted (squatting etc). All was super quiet and gentle. i learnt while delivering (as i was told) that you only push during a contraction (if u have urges or if u can) i was pushing all the time (eager for it to be over) 10mins and it was all over and good. All positive.

frankston sucked as i went thru this odd interview process almost.. im on the phone in labour to the midwife on the phone and shes asking for my details so i gave it to hubby to do which the midwife wasnt satasfied with but stuff em! yeah got to the hospital whisked off to a room with a midwife and was asked questions on my labour.. thankfully she would wait during a contraction gave me a internal (blessing in disguise) to find out i was 8cm dilated and obviously in labour wanting a room not being asked questions BP checked and all that.. delivery was very quiet i could hear one midwife writing out details of forms and stuff getting ready for bubs arrival. used a birth bean bag. had 2 midwifes and 1 trainee in there come head poking out stage.. all very quickly over to the point it felt like the baby was being pulled out but hubby said she just seemed to shoot out! lol! was allowed to deliver placenta naturally. All positive, no interventions, no stitches, no drugs, no obs or docs for both births..

With my current bub i might try the screaming in pain act just so the midwives believe me!!

I birth at Newcastle Private and it was great... the ob and midwife were only there to catch the bub and (oh embrassment) wipe the poo!!!!
If you are worried, have someone there who can make your wishes clear to the staff.... my hubby and doula spoke when I couldn't (though I did mostly) to make sure I got what I wanted from my first birth.
Good luck with it all

I'd love to know if the centre I gave birth in is W.H.O approved, I have no idea to be honest. My daughters' birth was very rushed (they had me 'pushing uphill' because she got stuck when I was squatting and pushing) because I laboured for too long (more than 24 hours after my waters broke) and my daughter was distressed (she passed meconium as she was being born).

Public hospital, midwife led birth for me last time, and it was great. I think I worried during the pushing stage as they were telling me to push when I didn't feel the urge to. Apart from that, it was all very natural - no tugging and certainly no hands up there while baby was trying to get out :o

I know some women find it very helpful to 'educate' or 'prepare' themselves for birth by watching gory videos of the process, but I personally chose to remain as ignorant as possible and approach my impending labour with the knowledge that yes, it was going to hurt like nothing I'd ever experienced before but apart from that, I was just going to have to go through it myself and find out what happens the hard way!
That's not to say I didn't educate myself on all the possible outcomes, scenarios and techniques that I could apply - I considered myself very well-informed long before I entered the delivery suite. But I knew that as long as I had that knowledge, I didn't need to see various women huffing a puffing and spurting out fluid everywhere in order to prepare myself, I wasn't afraid or apprehensive about the birth at all, just calm in the knowledge that what would happen would happen, it would be a natural process that millions of women have gone through since time immemorial, and I would only know how it felt once I'd done it.

I was induced two days before my due date, but apart from having my waters broken for me and the standard poke every so often to find out how far I was dilated, I had no interference from the medical staff at all. One midwife threatened me with an episiotomy and forceps if I didn't 'hurry up', but I kicked her ('accidentally', of course) and she soon left me alone and let my body do my thing.
My advice is just to be as vocal as possible during your labour - if you don't want interference, let the midwives know that you feel okay with how things are progressing and know that you're doing fine. If they try anything you're not comfortable with or prepared for, demand an explanation and if it doesn't sound satisfactory or valid, tell them to back off.
I am very glad that I gave birth to DD in hospital as I suffered a severe and very nearly-fatal postpartum haemorrhage within minutes of delivering the placenta, so if this is your first birth I would recommend having all your bases covered by being in a hospital setting rather than go it at home, but I know my experience was individual and relatively rare so the choice is ultimately yours - do your homework, ask around and make the choice you think is best for you. The midwives I had, apart from that one mean one, were absolutely lovely and were more than happy to be there simply to assist rather than force me into anything I didn't want, chances are if you're attending a highly-regarded hospital, you will be fine.
A lot of hospitals these days offer many options for birthing - water births are just one that seems to be very popular due to the gentle, free nature of it and if my hospital had offered this option, and I had gone into labour naturally, I would have chosen it.

If you have definite ideas for how you want your birth to go, definitely write up a birth plan and discuss it with your care team as soon as you can in order to determine what will be possible, and to ensure that the staff you will be dealing with are aware of your wishes so that if you find you can't get the words out during the labour, they have it in writing. Also discuss your wishes with your support person so that they can speak for you if you are unable to.

I wish you the best!

To me, the gory end of childbirth is for the midwives. I don't want to see the mess that comes out - just get rid of it. I'll take the baby and that's it, thanks. Poo and blood and the rest is all yours.

Hmmm, may need to have a midwife come visit after my freebirth LMAO.

I did have DS in a hospital and never again. Those Utube videos aren't lying about the amount of people bossing you about in there. And vocal doesn't help, at least not if you're being vocal about something they don't want and they've strapped you down so you can't kick (with your husband's approval, of course). But then I did have a very hands-on, too literally, team supporting the hospital policy. Sorry, I mean me. That did happen.

I'd say go it at home but have a hospital ready for a back-up JIC it's needed for whatever reasons - homebirths are great, but an EMERGENCY section can't be done at home, only at home it is for an emergency other than "the Obs wants to leave by 5 tonight".

When I was pregnant with DS I went in blind. I didnt attend antenatal classes, I had no idea what was 'normal' and decided to trust myself and go with what felt comfortable to me. With this 'Youtubeing' I assume your not only looking at Australian videos but experiences of women all over the globe good and bad. I know of quite a few BBers that have their births on Youtube but have had them pulled for music choice and from what Im aware these women had great birth experiences. Trust yourself not peoples videos cz I guarantee you no two births are the same so the videos will do you no good.

I had a homebirth and the only hand on DD's head was mine (felt incredible!).

It might not be something every woman would want to attempt for a first or even for subsequent pregnancies, but it is a falsehood that homebirth is dangerous, even for first time mums.

Bx

ETA - go look on Youtube at "Birth 8" and visualise yourself getting one just like that! :)

I've had two good hospital births - the midwives were gentle with me, and there was no pushing, pulling, tugging, stretching, etc. :) Don't scare yourself. :hug:

However, you are always bound by hospital policies in hospital - there may be time limits on labour, time limits on pushing, you may not be allowed in water after your water breaks, you may have to wear constant monitoring that limits your movement, you may have to stay in bed, etc. Some hospitals are like this - others are great! Check out what the one near you is like. Then you'll have a bit of an idea beforehand what sort of attitude they have towards birth - controlling, or go with the flow.

If you can not find a hospital near you that will allow you the freedom you want during labour and birth, look for a birth centre or consider a home birth. My third baby was born at home in the water, and that was a great birth experience! Hoping to do it again. :)

All the best for a lovely birth!

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However, you are always bound by hospital policies in hospital - there may be time limits on labour, time limits on pushing, !

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:o

Sorry if this is a silly question- I am honestly really clueless when it comes to all this stuff.. but are you serious? Do they really put time limits on length of labour, and pushing, even if everything is going fine?

I continue to be gobmacked by all the new things I learn on BB...

Yep, I've read several birth stories and heard stories from friends where they were told "We'll let this continue for X number of hours, and then we'll have to section" when they and their babies were fine. Labour was just not moving as quickly as the ob or whoever thought it should. In fact, I believe that is my own mother's birth story - she doesn't really know what happened - she was OK, I was OK, but they did a c-section because it was taking too long, apparently. This was in 1980, and then there was pretty much no such thing as a VBAC. Thankfully, there have been a lot of changes since then! But there are still some hospitals reluctant to change their policies. Pushing may be limited as well - 1 hour or 2 hours, or whatever.

As I said, things are changing - not all hospitals are like this! But most do have some sort of guidelines or policies spelling out what is and what is not allowed during labour. I think they almost have to for insurance, or something. Maybe someone in the field can offer some definite information and clarification. :)

My friend had a section 2.5 years ago because the hospital limit was 2 hours pushing. The nurse had topped up her epidural 3 minutes before she was fully dilated because she "couldn't possibly be ready to push yet!" (they didn't check first). Her daughter's head was VISIBLE in the vagina when they decided to section and the baby is scarred for life from injuries caused by the forceps needed to prise her already moulded head back up out of the pelvic inlet. She was dx failure to progress and CPD (baby's head too big to fit). Nearly a month ago she had her 900gms heavier son via HBAC without any trouble. It took her nearly 3 hours to push him out, but they were both completely fine throughout.

Not all hospitals are like this, and even within hospitals, not all Obs subscribe to the time limits. I could cry at the number of birth stories i read with a woman being diagnosed failure to progress because "After 13 hours of labour i still wasn't dilated" - for a first time mother the first stage (so 4cm to 10cm dilation) can take 24 hours and still be completely NORMAL. For some reason what was once recognised to be a normal labour is a too-long one. By definition, if the average labour is x hours, most will NOT be that length. We are all familiar with the idea that only a small %age of babies come on their due date, which is derived from the average length of a gestation, but so many women are sectioned or cut because their labour wasn't "normal" enough. We are now in a situation where the book which was supposed to provide a general rule of thumb for inexperienced or busy practitioners has become a set of hoops to hop through, and the "failure" of a given cervix or or uterus or vagina to obey the rules set out by the book can carry heavy penalties not for the doctor but for the woman and the baby.

As for what is "normal"... Most hospitals will want to accelerate (by artificially breaking the waters or giving IV sintocin) a labour which is not progressing at at least 1cm every 2 hours after 24 hours, providing they have room in delivery for the mum (if they're full they may send you home repeatedly for up to 3 days provided your membranes are intact). Most hospitals will give antibiotics by IV once 18-24 hours have passed since the mebranes ruptured. Most hospitals forbid you to eat once you are 4cm dilated - this can mean you face a long long hungry labour getting weaker with every hour. There have been several studies on this and all have found that women self-regulate food during labour and it causes no difference in maternal or foetal outcomes to let them choose to eat if they wish. They starve you "in case" you need a general anaesthetic for surgery, which is far more likely to happen if you're exhausted from not eating. Most hospitals also have set rules about certain situations and outcomes for the baby.

When DD was born she had passed meconium before birth (probably because they told me to fight the pushing reflex for the entire second stage!) and was a bit clogged up and shocked when she finally shot out (i was never worried, i KNEW she was ok, but her apgars were 9 at 1 minute, 7 at 5 and 10 at 10). She had her nose and throat suctioned and was put on my naked chest with an oxygen tube flowing under her nose and a bunch of warm towels and blankets wrapped around us both. She was BFing within 40 minutes. I was told if she'd been born in hospital she'd have gone to SCBU for the night, had 2-hourly glucose blood tests, not been allowed to BF and not been allowed out of her incubator until she could maintain her own body heat. As a sensitive first-time mother holding her 2-hour old baby when i was told this, i can tell you how my heart pounded and my grip tightened - they would take my baby from me!? When she NEEDED me?!

The most important thing is the ask about all this. "What is your policy on xxx" and "What will happen if i don't consent to that?" are the questions to ask. Don't be defensive, smile, be interested but firm. LISTEN when they tell you their reasons (and don't accept "It's hospital policy" - ask how the policy came about and if necessary point out that their basis is now out of date). TALK about what you want and decide what you will compromise on and what not.

If you are feeling uncomfortable with the care offered it is FINE to go look for different care elsewhere - often when pregnant women argue we are made to feel like naughty girls questioning our caring parents, and not grown women making some of the most important decisions of our lives. Don't be bullied. Hold on to the fact that caring for YOU is THEIR job, it's your baby and your body, they should be able to reassure you and be honest about the care they can give. Resist the pressure to shut up, be a good girl and let them get on with their job, get the answers you need.

Bx

I totally agree with hoobley,Our bodies are all different and as long as there is no fetal distress natural labour should be allowed to proceed naturally.There should be no set time (within reason ,a week seems a bit long ) to give birth especially if your low risk. I stayed on my feet to let gravity help the job along and only lay down to push.
Also if I was told I couldnt eat or drink during labour I would have gone off the deep end. Labour is exactly that and you need sustanance to get you through, both emotional and nutritional.

You just need to ask lots of questions like hoobley said. This is possibly the most important day of you lives and you want it to be a pleasant and happy experience.
Good luck sweets

Hospital birth here and it was all good.

Everyone was just standing back watching the show (down the end I couldn't see). They may as well had cups of coffee or been standing at a bar having a chat after work.

:) I will tell you my very funny story about time limits on pushing.

At my hospital, you're allowed to push for two hours. I had been pushing for three when the midwives asked if they could fudge my notes; it was 1.30 and I'd been pushing for almost 3 hours I think, only they'd told the Obs to come in at 2, so could they please put I started to push at 12? That was fine with me. Baby was well and truly on the way out at this point, the head had cleared the cervix at any rate.

The Obs was "helping" another patient at the time so didn't show up until 2.30: the midwives were livid that he wasn't there at the appointed time! Because clearly that second after two hours was so important that they can't even fudge times to make their paperwork OK, 2 hours is the limit and that's it.

I still find that quite hilarious.

BTW, I was at 2cm dilated from ?midday until ?2am (I think from about 7am but no-one checked and was 4cm by 4am); this was fine and normal. Almost 24 hours of a "stalled" labour with mild contractions.

Ryn did they call that "labour" though? I know my midwives didn't count how fast i was dilating (or stay in my house - they could have missed the birth due to that!) until i was 4+, which never was because i was 2-3 and then crowning at the two VE's. I think in hospital they would have counted it because my waters had gone though...? It's so funny, before i had DD i had this very clear idea in my head of how labour works and how each stage would be, and since having DD i don't have a scooby do WHEN labour actually "started" for me - i was contracting for 18+ hours, waters gone for 16, painfully contracting for 6, really breathtakingly so for 3, avoiding the pushing urge for 2, yet when i lay down for the VE to "see if i was in labour yet" (midwife's words) she was born!

Bx

Nah, the hospital... actually, I don't think I had a labour. Just the pushing. Cos I wasn't in labour at all according to what they were telling me. Maybe from 4am onwards. Even though the old monitor was showing regular, labourific contractions.

For me, labour started because there was a definate "this is a labour contraction" moment; for everyone else... who cares?