Goodbye FET baby (updated to Hello FET Baby!)

We found out on Christmas day that our FET in december was a sucess. I was 4 weeks. On New Years Day (Thursday) at 5 weeks, I started cramping and then I bled for 4 hours, normal flow. The bleeding slowed down and yesterday it was only there if I wiped. Today the bleeding is starting up again and I need to use a pad. My heart is breaking as this is our second loss at 5 weeks. The specialist arranged for me to have a blood test on Friday and my HCG was 2195. We are having another one on Sunday to see if the HCG levels are doubling. Although I would love for this not to be a miscarriage, I know with this volume of bleeding and that I'm so early, means that it most probably is. The bleeding is continuing to get heavier. *sob*

On one hand I don't want to get my hopes up that this one sticks but I just have a feeling that our little one has said goodbye. I was okay yesterday, but today I'm just constantly sobbing. We won't know for sure until monday morning, but it's so hard to greive when you don't know what's happening. We have both been praying that we can trust God in this circumstance. We've both been longing for a baby - I've always dreamt of being a mum and for us it seemed so real, so right. We've planned our next nine months and now that dream is being shattered, slowly.

Thanks for listening, I just needed to type how I'm feeling.

Ruth08 - Sending you heaps of hugs:hug::hug::hug:

Ruth, sending you a million sticky vibes.

I had pretty severe bleeding this pregnancy, to the point where I had blood running down my legs. I thought it was all over, but here I am, 20 weeks now and all going well.
There are plenty of success stories after bleeding in early pregnancy.
I hope you are another one of them.

Take care.
xxoo

oh so sorry to hear :hug::hug::hug:

So sorry to hear that Ruth! I really hope that this is just a bad scare, and that your next appointment shows everything alright again. :hug: But, if it's not, then I pray that you'll be given the strength to get through this. Go ahead and cry, honey - this is something that is DEFINITELY worth crying for. And, vent away here - we'll always have a listening ear. :hug:

praying for you Ruth and your DH. Remember it is ok to let yourself cry. Do what you need to take care of you. Sending lots of :hug:

Romans 8:28

Ruth I am so so sorry my darling woman. Big big hugs and love and comfort coming to you... :comfort:

You are in my thoughts Ruth :hug:

Ruth :grouphug: really hoping and praying for you and your little bubba. It's not fair and it hurts so much, you have the right to cry and grieve and scream and kick.

oh ruth im so sorry! i have been following your progress but please dont give up hope yet!, i know its hard all this waiting, i know i though i was pregnant for 13 weeks only to find an empty sac on the ultrasound, i had no bleeding or pain, so it all means nothing until there is proof! just cry and let it out, u will find out tomorrow, i will be thinking of u!

ME 21 DF 21

BFP 2/1/09!!!

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/t/Ef6u93sXcQ.gif

So sorry to hear what you are going through. I had a similar experience. On the 27/28 December I started with some watery pink colour on the toilet paper when I wiped and thought maybe it was some implantation bleeding and then early morning on the 29th December I started bleeding heavily and passed a few large clots with a massive amount of painful cramping. This continued for 3 days full on bleeding and passing more clots the next night. I couldn't stop crying after feeling so happy initially. The 4th day I still had some spotting but still bright red and after that nothing but cramping....which is continuing right now :( Its hard to stop thinking about it, I even had a dream about it where I found out I was initially pregnant with twins and one miscarried but I doubt that this would happen to me. We are now waiting a few mths to try again and focus on ourselves.

I really hope you are getting through this and thinking more positive. All the best!

Ruth :hug: I hope and pray that your little bub hasn't left...

Ruth, I hope that your prayers are answered, I am thinking of you hun. Tonight I will include you in my prayer to St Majella the Patron Saint of unborn children and expectant mothers :hug:

Ruth my heart goes out to you. I am so very sorry that you have to experience this

Ruth - I will be thinking of you during this hard and emotional time
I pray that your next bt gives you the results that you want :hug::hug:
sending you loads of :stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:

oh ruth, i am so sorry to hear you are going through this uncertain time.... sticky vibes hun, i hope you have wonderful news on monday :grouphug:

So sorry that you are going through this :hug:

So hard to not know exactly what is going on right now too.

Sending you all the strength you need right now.

I hope you can be holding a healthy miracle baby soon.

:hug: Ruth I'm so sorry you are going through this and I :pray: that all is ok.

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. DH and I have been trying to stay busy and look towards the future. We know that God has plans for us and that he is good, regardless of how we are feeling. Your kind words have been a great comfort to me.

We are off this morning to get the 2nd blood test done. The bleeding completely stopped overnight but my periods are only ever short anyway so we aren't getting our hopes up.

Ruth, I won't be able to be online tomorrow morning when you get your result. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope I can log in later to some wonderful news, but if I don't, :grouphug:.

Dear Ruth,

Thinking of you and hoping that you come back and tell us that your little miracle is all OK.

xxx Sue xxx

Syran, I wish I could...

But results are in and my HCG levels have only increased a tiny bit from 2195 to 2700 instead of doubling. Dr says to do another blood test tomorrow but I know that it's all over. I'm still bleeding... :crying:

I am so sorry darling. :comfort: Has your progesterone dropped or has it stayed stable?

Oh Ruth :grouphug:. I've been thinking of you all morning. Sorry if my previous post was offensive, no offensive was intended :doh:.

hi ruth im so sorry :( there is nothing to say that can ease the pain so i just want to wish you and your husband the strength to get through.

Oh Ruth, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your DH. Take care sweetheart :comfort:

Thank you all for your kind words.

Flowerchild - I haven't had my progesterone checked, I'm guessing because I'm on a medicated FET cycle where I'm taking progesterone in the form of crinone and tablets. But thanks for your advice.

*clutches at straws* I don't understand why the HCG would increase? I thought that if you were miscarrying it halves every 48 hours approx. So if doubling is good and halving is bad, then increasing just a bit means...?

I wish I could offer hope Ruth but it sounds similar to the miscarriage I had just a few weeks back. We were doubling really well to start off but then the numbers slowed quite a bit and the Fertility Specialist wa quite honest on the phone and said it the numbers didn't look promising but an ultra sound would tellmore. Basically the slow increase indicated thatthe embryo was struggling but still alive so to speak. so we went for an early ultrasound after which he said he was pretty sure it wasn't going to make it, which it didn't. the difference with me was that I had no bleeding until I had the curette so if I hadnt been tracking everything I most likely wouldnt have known until much further down the track...we were eight weeks when we lost our little one.

I am going to send up a heap of prayers that your little one is a fighter and makes it through this rough start.

:hug:

Ruth- so sorry to read this! have been wondering how things went today... my heart goes out to you, I know how awful and stressful it is and am so sorry you are having to go through this...it's very unfair .... big hugs

Regarding the slight HCG rise you asked about, I would also like to offer hope, but to be very honest based on my experiences also, I do think HCG levels can creep up a bit, before a miscarriage...my HCG levels slowed right down in my last pregnancy from about the 6 week mark...and we still saw a heartbeat and things, but eventually there was no heartbeat.
Of course, each case can be different, and I would dearly love to hear good news :hug:

Sorry Ruth - I overlooked the fact that your little one was a FET - of course you will be on meds -so sorry I wasn't more careful.

There are lots of stories of little ones not having great increases and surviving - there truly are. When we see slow increases it does not augur well for the embie. There is always hope - and everyone will have a story of hope and miracles.

All we can do for you now is pray for that miracle - and be here to love and support you at this time.

You have been in my thoughts all day.

Big hugs my love... :hug:

Dear Ruth,

I am so so sorry you are going through this :hug::hug:. My heart goes out to you.

As Flowerchild said, I am praying for a miracle for you :pray:

xxx Sue xxx

Still lifting you up in prayer Ruth. :hug:

Hoping you get some good news today Ruth.

I would be thrilled to hear good news from you....thinking of you

Ruth, thinking of you today hun! :hug:

I am praying for you and your little one today Ruth, I was just given a relic of St Gerard Majella by a friend so I will pray to him for you too.

Many hugs at this time to you :grouphug:

Rachel

Thanks everyone for your kind words and prayers.

I had a blood test yesterday to see what HCG is doing and the bleed is now mostly brown and very light (none over night!). We both know it's very unlikely that the pregancy will continue - is it wrong of me to wish it over now, if it's going to end up in a miscarriage, rather than prolonging the pain?

I should hear back today about the results of the BT - my jolly F.S. doesn't believe that the results are "urgent" so he didn't tick the urgent box on the pathology request form. (Okay, so it's not life threatening but it's pretty important to me!). And I had a teary in the office this morning, luckily no one else was here, and it was just because a boss suggested a I reword I sentence in a report. My nerves are shot, and I'm wondering if I should go home....

Anyway thanks for listening to my ramblings... I'll keep you posted.

Ruth, I am still holding out hope the b/t will show the PG is viable if the bleeding stopped. Why don't you give yourself a day off....regardless what the result is, I think you will be pretty emotional...big :hug:

thinking of you ruth - take the day off and rest my dear

**hugs**

It is so hard to focus when you are going through so much. And I am so sorry you are in this place. It sucks big huge time. :hug: :hug: Can you try and get the rest of the day off? Take care hun. xo