Need some advice re Toddlers sleeping in parent's room

:pray:Ok I really need some reassurance. Hopefully I am not the only one here. Please don't use this thread to tell me how bad this is in the long run...blah blah.

Does anybody else have their toddler still in their room? And does anyone else plan on leaving them for a while yet?

I am just not ready. I can't elaborate much more. Perhaps it is linked to my PND. Actually I'm positive that it is. BUt I just can't move him to his own room. And yes it does look like we will have two kids in our room.

Has anyone else done it?Please say yes :pray:

Mabello,
There is no reason you cannot have your child in your room if you want.
My youngest brother slept in my parents room until the age of 4 or 5 due to lack of space and it didn't do anyone any harm. He is now the father of 4 and his children all slept in their room until they went into a bed, again due to lack of space.

What did parents do in years gone by that had large families and small houses?
When the time is right he will move to his own room, only you as a family know when that will be.

All the best on your scan this week. :)

Absolutely agree with Rivlas though if you'd asked me five years ago, I would have thought you were both crazy LOL.

DD still sleeps in our room and she's 17 months old. Initially this was because we had some structural things wrong with the house so she kind of HAD to be in our room, but I actually really like it. We will finally be getting her room 'fixed' in about a month so in theory she can go into her own room. However, I'm not ENTIRELY comfortable with this so I have also put a single bed in there too so that I can sleep in there if I want to.

I'm sure it's not down to this alone, but everyone tells me what a happy baby she is. We have a carer come in to look after a couple of times a week who also looks after a few other babies, and she always says to me, "I CANNOT get over how happy she is all the time." I really put it down to the fact that she is very secure because we are never far away from her, we let her sleep when she wants to sleep and I don't bother trying to get her out of the house when she'd rather have a four-hour day sleep.

Sorry, that turned into a ramble but DP and I were just talking about this earlier.

So to summarise, I'd say don't worry about it - if it works, carry on. And if it starts to feel Not Quite Right, then slowly change it.

I just feel much more bonded to DD having her sleep in our room. I can't imagine going 12 hours not hearing her breathing and shnuffling about. I just think it's lovely. Half the time when I go to bed, I accidentally make a bit too much noise in the hope that she will stir and I have a half-decent excuse to go over, pick her up and give her a cuddle.

Mate you do whatever makes you happy! i know a family who has their FIVE kids all in their room and these are the coolest most outgoing happy kids i've ever met!

Our boys both have their own rooms and bed/cot but by morning both are usually in our bed. If people tell you are making a rod for your own back you can tell them just where to shove that rod ;) Its really none of anyones business what your sleeping arrangements are.

We have 2 kids in our room. sometimes 2 in our bed. We co-sleep with the baby and untill about 3 mths ago DS1- he now has a cot at the end of the bed- we have taken 1 side of the rail off so its easy to access. Some nights DS1 will go in there himself, other nights he falls asleep in the big bed and we put him in cot later, unless hes sick then DH likes to keep an eye on him.
We have our bed against the wall and baby sleeps closest to the wall then me, DS1 (if hes there) and then DH on the outside.
I put the baby to sleep 1st, then 30mins later DS1 comes to bed. If im not staying with them I put pillows on the outside edge of the bed and keep the door semi open to hear any noise.
Hope this helps

I have my youngest 2 in our room with us. Our toddler reverted a little when the new bubs came home but we didn't make a fuss about it. We just put the bassinette in our room for bubs and the cot for our toddler. She has her own room and sometimes will have her day time sleep in there but likes to sleep in our room at night. If it makes her feel better then so be it. She will let us know when she is ready.

You're not the only one

both my kids start in their own rooms but end up with us...
when DD was born we had co slept with both( we even bought a king size bed)

We have our son in our room (just turned 3). Expecting another bub in about 3 months and I can't see the situation changing! We are quite happy with him there :) DS is in a single bed next to our queen so there is plenty of room.

Thank yu sooooooooooooooooo much. I feel so much more at ease now. I'll BBL with more personal respnses xxx

Babe, I say do whatever you think is best for you. I know LOTS of families who end up with both kids in their bed every night, most wouldn't admit to it, but it happens more than anyone talks about!!

Ok Ds is happiy playing for 5 secs so here goes...

Very rarely does DS actually sleep in our bed. If he does, its only to resettle with DH and then gets placed back in his cot which is on the side of the bed with the rail off. I really don't like having kids in my bed so I guess that is better.

There is plenty of room in our room for a bed, cot and basinette. I kinda wish there wasnt then I would have no choice! lol

Ds is not the happiest of kids, but I really think he would be worse if he didnt sleep with us. In the mornings he crawls over to me and will only go back to sleep if his arms are wrapped around my neck and he is laying on top of me. It is the most beautiful (but suffocating)thing!

I really think that he would feel that we are "throwing him out" if we put him in his own bedroom.

I kind of KWYM Danni, even though our sitch is different as DD is in her own room. This baby will either sleep in our room or in the spare room which is further away from our room than DD's room. To others (even DH) it would make sense to move DD to the room further away, but I decided not to move DD because I didn't want her to feel 'chucked out' of her comfortable space before the baby comes.
So no, we don't share a room with her but I understand your sentiment and I think it is thoughtful of you to consider Mason's needs, and wanted to encourage you that you will manage just fine! :)

Matilda was in her own room when Jovie was born, but she always wound up in our bed, so we put a bed in our room for her as well, we actually moved her into our room when Jovie was born.... so she didn't feel like she was left out. We all got more sleep that way.

ds is still in our room. not too sure what's going to happen when the new bubs arrives, but don't really care either iykwim? we'll just take it day by day and do whatever works for our family.

Awww Danni, you're still agonising I see. It's ok!! Oskar is also still right next to me in his cot in our room...lol. DH did mention something the other day about having to think about moving him soon, blah blah blah.... I'M NOT READY!! Fullstop, end of conversation. I really like having him right there and he likes it too and I think he sleeps better with me there.

I have a question to those who have done the toddler and baby in the same room with you or know of people who have.... have they seemed to disturb each other if they wake up or been ok?? Oskar wasn't a crier when he woke for a feed so I doubt it would've been too much of a worry, I did turn tv on for light but might have to resort to leaving the room with the next one.

I don't sleep with either of my babies in my room anymore. For me it just didn't work because all their little snuffles kept me awake at night, so they were in their own rooms by 3 months and 5 months respectively. BUT having said that, many nights will find me lying on the couch in DD#1's room so that I can be close to her (usually after I've just had my closeness time giving DD#2 a feed) so I completely understand why you are finding it hard to move him out.

I say do whatever works for you, your DH and M. When its no longer working then look at alternatives. I don't think you are making life more difficult for yourself down the track, and TBH even if you are, so what. You keep him in your room how and you "might" be making problems for yourself down the track, but in the meantime you are all happy NOW. I'm all for doing what works for today, and let tomorrow worry about itself.

Both my boys where in our room up until October, 2008 so they were 3 years, 5 months and 2 years, 2 months before they moved out of Mummy and Daddy`s room, now we have space in our room for 2 more :lol:

Oh dee, tell me more!! How was Matthew when Adrian was born? Did the crying wake him up or what about night feeds etc?

How did you go moving them out at that age? Did they transition well?

*bump* dee.... I'm interested in your response here too... along with any others who have or are doing this!

I have narrowed this down to being a "guilt" thing.

I am loving Mason more and more each day and I think its cos I'm feeling "sorry" for him.I dont want him to feel like we are pushing him aside and saying "next one!!"

So we are definitely guinna give the 2 in our room a good shot! Lets hope DH doesnt change his mind...

D, to reassure you further, we have DS in our room :D He used ot go in his cot first, and then come in during the night, but he hasn't slept in his cot for a couple of months now. Mostly because I think he can (and therefore will) climb out of it. I'm off to buy him a bed this week, so we'll see how that goes. We were away over NY at the ILs beach house, and he slept in his own room, in his own bed. And slept like a dream I might add! I'm hoping to replicate it at home ;), although I know I'll miss him. I figure I can always go and get into his bed if I need to LOL.

You do whatever works for you hun :hug: Don't worry about what others say.

Hi, we have our 13 month old still in our room,as I`ve lost count on how many times I`ve tried to move him out into another room. so for now he sleeps well,and DH and I love having him next to us.
I agree with the other ladies,do what you feel comfortable with,not what others think you should be doing,lol.;)

My toddler was born not long after yours, we used to be in the same BB group ;)

He was still in our room until 3 weekss ago, till I was 33 weeks pregnant, most of that co sleeping. It was a huge guilt thing for me and in the end, I decked out his own room in all his favourite things and just put him in there to play on his bed and during the day he would go in and out, and then he just decided one night to sleep in there and he's not wanted to come back to the cot in our room or in our bed. So it was his decision, and I can see it was the only way I could deal with it because of the guilt.

I'm still norty in so many people's eyes and I BF him to sleep, already getting heaps of slack from others and my DP about that 'making a rod for my own back with two BFing' crap.

I just smile and switch the ignore button. My body, my choice ;)

I'm sure you'll do just fine, follow your instincts and go gently on yourself.

Sorry Danni, I forgot all about this thread :redface:

We told Matthew and Adrian what would be happening, that they`ll be moving out of Daddy`s and Mummy`s room and into Michael and Alister`s room (they are my 2 teenage DSS`s we have them every other weekend and half the holidays), that room wasn`t the best option but since it`s only a 2 bedroom house what can we do plus the big boys aren`t here full time.

It took a while for Matthew to come to terms with it, I guess being older and more aware of what is going around him, Matthew kept telling us no he wanted to stay in Mummy and Daddy`s room, Adrian was absolutely fine, we explained that Adrian would sleep in Matthew`s bed and we`ll go out and buy Matthew a new bed, so that`s what we did and he was then very excited about his new bed so in turn he decided this new room isn`t too bad afterall.

When it came to moving them over to the room there were no drama`s at all, only problem was they woke up earlier then usual :doh: except when my 2 DSS`s are here for some reason they`ll stay in bed longer.

Adrian still has his day sleeps in his cot during the day as I don`t trust him to stay in the toddler bed during the day, he`s fine staying there at night but I think day is a different issue, so day sleeps in the cot in Mummy and Daddy`s room.

Danni - matthew loved his little brother when Adrian was born but being only 15 months you could see he was a bit confused about this baby at times, when he first saw Adrian he started crying!!!! it didn`t take long for the bond to be there.

As for night time feeds with Adrian this is where our bad sleeping problem began because I didn`t want Adrian to wake Matthew up I`d get up to Adrian almost immediately, in the early days Matthew did wake up but it didn`t take long for him (or DH LOL) to sleep through Adrian`s crying but because of getting up to him so quickly in the night Adrian didn`t sleep through till just before he turned 2 years of age and for 6 months before then I was up to him every 20 minutes to every 2 hours every night, looking back not sure how I did it, he did sleep better as a young baby.

I really missed my babies not being in our room but as DH would say they can`t be sleeping in our room forever, the first few nights were harder on Mummy then the boys, I couldn`t sleep plus I found I was always listening to them breathing even at that age if I was uncertain that I couldn`t hear them I`d get up and check on them.

hope I`ve answered some of your questions and sorry for the delay, next time someone needs to poke me LOL

Ok mabello,

I still have my toddler and bubs in our room. As for the crying and waking up of the other, it doesn't happen. My baby used to wake up and I would get out of bed and get her out of the bassinette and sit in the rocker and feed her - toddler DD would not wake up. Now bubs sleeps all night and toddler DD wakes up all the time and bubs sleeps through it all. I am very thankful lol. I find that if they sleep in a noisy house they stay asleep but if it is dead quiet then they tend to wake up. I let my other lot scream lol.

Hope this helps