Should I change this to suit my mother?

Well, husband and I have picked name for daughter #2 (due in late May), and I knew I shouldn't have opened my mouth to my mother, but I did.
(Long story short, with our first daughter she essentially forced us to pick a name as soon as we knew what we were having because she started patting my belly and calling it 'Erin' or 'Isabelle', names that she likes that we just didn't, so we sat down and chose a name just to shut her up.)

Anyway, we came down to 'Hayley Nicole' or 'Hayley Blair' (I'm a Gossip Girl fan and B is my absolute favourite), but I like Hayley Nicole better because our last name starts with an 'R' and I hate names that kind of run together (ie I don't want the last letter of her middle name to be 'r'), and because Hayley Nicole has the same amount of syllables as our first daughter's name.
However, when I told mum that we'd picked Hayley Nicole, she was quite miffed because she has a cousin named Nicole who is, basically, a complete deads*** (drug addict, a real bogan, has kids to as many different men, just basically ugh). Thing is, she hasn't seen or spoken to this Nicole in years and years and I don't see why she would be 'reminded' of her cousin every time she thinks of my daughter. I mean, we picked Emily for our first daughter even though I went to school with a girl named Emily who was a real cow and stole my boyfriend and was horrible to me, but I never, ever think of her when I think of my daughter's name - Emily is all hers now and the mean girl from school doesn't even enter my head.

So, I'm just wondering if I should try and make my mum happy by changing back to Hayley Blair, despite the fact that I think it's really unfair of her to basically throw a little tantrum like this over something so stupid, when it's MY daughter, and MY choice.
I just don't know whether to stick with a name I prefer, and perhaps forever have my mother wrinkling her nose in disgust every time she says the word 'Nicole' out loud, or give in and then give my daughter a name I'm just not that keen on.

That is exactly right she is YOUR child and this is YOUR choice (and dps hehe), we have done the same mistake and told mum about names we're thinking of! and now we are keeping zip and not saying anything untill bub is born...

I think Hayley Nicole is a beautiful name!

It's your baby and your decision. It irritates me so much that people make negative comments or try and suggest other names or change your mind about your own babies name. I understand not wanting names that run together as we are having the same problem ourselves at the moment. (One of the names on our list ends in M and the middle name starts with an M - it just doesn't sound right!)
Do what makes you happy. Your mother will get over it eventually and her name will be Hayley not Nicole so there is no reason for her to think of her cousin really.

Stuffher i say, its ur baby girl call her whatevr u like. she iwll have to deal with it

Ignore your mum. LOL! As if she is going to say her middle name all the time anyway! It's your choice, your child, and you need to choose a name that you like. Just because they might share a name (a middle name at that, not even used often anyway!) doesn't make them connected at all. Geez, just tell her to think of Nicole Kidman instead!

What everyone else says, It has nothing to do with her what you call your child. She'll get over it. It's not her child, she has no say in its name.

Tell her to mind her own business. She's had her time and got to name her own kids. This is your child and it has nothing to do with her what you name her!
I think it's a beautiful name btw.

no, I dont think you should.
Your mum got her turn when she had you, its your baby not hers.

Yep - your baby, your choice!

That's the reason why we never tell people what names we have chosen and just keep saying that we can't agree on any yet.

I think you should just stick to the name you like best and ignore what any one says about it.

Yep, stuff everyone else.... you do what YOU want it's YOUR child :hug:

I'm so sick and tired of people saying to us "so what names have you decided?" and I'm like "umm well we don't talk about names".... I just don't get why people ask!!!
besides, we know the gender but haven't told anyone so why would we tell them names we like!!! :rofl:

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I'm so sick and tired of people saying to us "so what names have you decided?" and I'm like "umm well we don't talk about names".... I just don't get why people ask!!!
besides, we know the gender but haven't told anyone so why would we tell them names we like!!! :rofl:

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I'm over it too. We don't discuss our choices with anyone. If someone asks, DH tells them (with a straight face) we will be calling him Buck or Keefe. No idea where he came up with these names, but it's funny to see the looks on people's faces because they have no idea if he's serious.

Your mum has had her turn for name picking its your turn now!!! Hayley Nicole is lovely

I am sure you will already have read back your original post and realised how ridiculous it is to consider changing your babys name to suit a petty preference of your mum. She is being manipulative whether she realises it or not. Stick with the name that you want. If you really feel that you should compromise then change the spelling to something less traditional.

Yep...definitely your baby = your pick. Your Mum will get over it within a week and if you change for her you'll probably never forget it!

Stick to your guns, but you should torture your mum for sure!!

Tell her its going to be Nicole Hayley, find the name of everyone she hates and throw those around when she is over next time.

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Tell her its going to be Nicole Hayley, find the name of everyone she hates and throw those around when she is over next time

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Awesome!!!

ABSOLUTELY NOT!! Don't do anyhting to please anyone else but yourself and your parnter. It is not your mums decision. Tell her if she liked the other name so much then she should have thought of it when she was naming HER children.

Your name choices are beautiful BTW. :)

Your baby, your choice!!!! I love the names you chose.

We aren't telling anyone the name we pick this time. There is always someone who won't agree :wall:. BB members are the only people I will be telling :shhh:.

Stick with what you and DH want to call your baby. I dont think you can ever please everybody when you pick a name :doh:

Hi GothMum,
Just as everyone else has said - it's your baby - you're the Mum :)
My mother expected me to name my first born (which she hoped would be a girl) after her - she wanted the middle name to be her's. When I discussed this with my DH we agreed that it should be joint decision, besides if someone insists you call your child after them to please themselves - it's certainly not something you want to do yourself!!

When I told my Mum that we weren't going to name a daughter after her she yelled- "Well I hope you don't have a daughter!" and hung up on me.... so do what you and your hubby want to do - not your mother!! You'll regret it if you do, and she'll think she rules the roost and maybe expect you to do other things she wants you to do in the future.
Good luck with your decision!

I agree with everyone else. You should DEFINATELY call YOUR baby girl whatever you like. I have told people what we are thinking of naming our little girl and sometimes their opinions aren't what you expect, which confuses you and then you consider choosing something else which isn't right. I think I learnt my lesson for next time, to just zip it and not tell a soul. Oh by the way I think Hayley Nicole is a beautiful name.:D

Thanks heaps guys, I knew I was doing the right thing by wanting to stick to my (and my husband's) decision, especially as my mother can be such a pain in the neck at times. I love her to bits, she's wonderful, but the truth is she can be quite manipulative and she's one of those people who tries to force their likes and dislikes onto other people, and if you know she doesn't like something but you do it anyway, she takes it as a personal attack against her and never forgives. It's hard, but I agree with what has been said - she had her turn to name my brother and I (and imo she failed miserably, I have always hated my name and copped endless flak for it at school, so did my little brother for his name), so I have the right to choose my own children's names and hope that they grow up liking them.
My only issue was that Hayley Blair was my husband's first choice over Hayley Nicole, but I thought the Nicole sounded better with our last name... but he is really easygoing about the names, he honestly couldn't care less so I guess I answered my own question there!

Thanks again though everyone, I totally agree with what everybody has said, and I appreciate that a lot of you think it's a pretty name :) Makes me even more sure of my decision, especially seeing as most names my mum throws around are absolutely hideous to my ears (and she has this obsession with initials, like if the three letters don't spell a word or stand for something funny, then the name is crap - I'd rather have nonsense initials so that nobody can pick on them... Mum might think it's funny to have a kid named Fiona Amelia Thompson or Chloe Olivia Williams... but I don't).

Ok tell her you are thinking of Ursula Patricia Yvette Olivia Rachel Sarah then....:ROFL:

rofl lmao! that is Gold lulu!

nope dont change it, you have to call her this name and live with your decision and if you change it to suit her you will never be happy with it.

I also think Hayley Nicole sounds pretty and pffftttt to her for not liking it!

Hey tell her you know a girl on BB by the name of Nicole and she is far from a deads*** (drug addict, and bogan) but a lovely, thoughful, funny, happy young lady!! hehe

ROFL Lulu!!!

It's your bub, name her what ever you like.
Please don't change it from something you love just to placate your mother. It's not her choice. And if your not reminded of the Bogan Nicole everytime you say it, then there is no point in changing it.

My MIL hated the name we picked out (Claire Ivy) becuase there was a girl back in highschool named Claire who used to tease her, and that she'd always be thinking about it and that i should pick something else. Basically i looked at her and said "uhm, how about no. I love the name, and i'm not going to be reminded of that chick"

Definitely stick with whatever name makes you and her Dad happy.
If your Mum truly is going to screw up her nose every time she hears her grand-daughters name then she is a *****.
I doubt that would happen though. She'll get over it, the name will become your daughters.
Besides, how often do we actually use middle names?

NO WAY! This is YOUR child NOT hers'!
Pick the name you like and stick with it.
Our son's name is Lachlan Mackenzie Moshe and DH's parents weren't keen on it when we announced his name at the hospital after the birth and kept asking why we chose scottish names when we were Jewish.
In the end, name your child what YOU like, you'll be the one writing, saying, associating with it more often! Good Luck!

Definately not...this is YOUR baby so you and your DH name your daughter whatever name YOU like!

Your mum has had her day or naming her own children now she just needs to sit back and let you name YOUR children!

BTW...Love the name you have chosen!