HELP me...I can't handle this at the moment!

I am at my wits end. My DD has been absolutely full on the last two days. I am just so upset and crying this afternoon. She hasn't been any trouble for so long. She has these huge screaming fits and I don't yell at her or tell her "no", I just carry about my business and ignore it. She falls in a heap on the floor and screams at the top of her lungs (and cries while she is screaming). Tears running down her face, her eyes red, she dry reaches. I still ignore it, hoping she settles down. When I walk into another room, she'll start up again. I am really upset. DP is at work today (and yesterday), always happens when he is at work.

Is she tired? She has a 40min sleep AM and 40min sleep PM normally. She is starting to wake again through the night.

I really don't want her to grow up with anxiety issues. Maybe she already has anxiety because I won't pick her up and carry her around all day. I just can't physically, she's 1 year old and 14kilos!

Can anyone tell me that it happened to their child too? I am feeling like I am to blame for her behaviour.

Can anyone help? I seriously need someone to talk to.

:hug: Could she be sick? I know toddlers can really get the cranks if they've got something like an ear infection, particularly if it's caused by teething, cos it's like the double whammy. This might be why she's waking at nights too?

Does she have a temp? Maybe take her to a doctor, just so you can at least rule sickness out.

:hug: What a stressful time. Perhaps for now, just give her some extra tlc, reading books and playing with her and see if you can nut out what's wrong from her behaviour...

Hi Queenbee - you're not alone. At that age it's impossible to reason with them, I know... Hang on a sec I'll post back in a minute - just letting you know someone is here for you :hug:

Queenbee - i have days like that with my little one too and she isnt one yet! so i can't really help u - but im here if u wanna chat/vent - or a virtual shoulder to cry on! :hug:

:hug:

Sounds pretty normal behaviour to me honey... she's getting to that age that she's starting to work things out - but doesn't yet know how to communicate it to you.

Toddlers are fun huh?

Don't worry - it will get better.

My DS does that when he's not getting his own way. DS also gets particularly upset when he has ear infections (as Nell said) - he tugs at his ears a lot when he's in pain.
It's sometimes tricky to tell when they're teething too - I only use panadol as a last resort, and I don't know whether you'd be happy to do this but perhaps a half dose of baby panadol - and if she calms down after about 20 mins you can know that she is in pain instead of just being frustrated?
Good Luck Sweety - It does get easier if it is just behavioural, if that is the case you're doing the right thing - even though it's driving you insane :( :hug:

My DS had pretty bad tantrums - its thier way of communicating that they are overwhelmed by their emotions and dont know what to do. The best advice I was given was to do "time IN" that where you sit and hold them until they settle and then you can try and talk with them. Obviously at her age it will be very simple words to name the emotion - angry, sad etc. Also try to figure out what is setting her off, with my DS it was often my timetable not suiting his! Like I needed to get in the car by 9.00 and switching off his ABC kids and getting cranky if he too so long to get his shoes and get in the car. I then spaced out my time better and give him an earlier time frame ie "in a few minutes we need to ..." then he was calmer and so was I. Also dont try and get them to do anything mid cartoon or while TV is on.

Hope you find a solution.

Its not easy on anyone. Just to to remember that she is trying to communicate that she is overwhelmed at that time. I know you are too...

Rachel

awww hun is she teething???? i remember DD having tanties around the same age, i assume mostly due to frustration, communication is sooooo hard at this age

just reading toddler tactics they have
short attentions span
immature nervous systems (easily over stimulated by noise (tv, lighting))
variety of physical needs- hunger,tiredness,
food sensitivities
insatiable curiosity

clinginess also peaks at this age

hope some of this helps, will be back later, need to feed DD

all of which affect behaviour

oh sweets . i sympathise .. DS is like this when he s over tired .. i often have days where i cry at him " what do you want , arent i good enough" i sob in a heap on the floor begging him to behave ..

I guess she is comig of age , and may be teething .. DS is getting his 2 yr olds and he is mr skitzo ..

I dont belive she will develop anxitey or anything like that , this is normal behaviour ..
esp if she is in a loving caring enviroment .. she will be fine ..

you gotta ride it out.. its dam flipping hard .. throw in a 4mth old and somedays i just crak it !!

its also HOT .. the weater turns kids sour ... maybe fill the bath and put a few drops of food couloring so she can play with some toys while you sit and have a cool drink (not suggesting alcohol) but a nice iced choc or something .. if DS is in the bath with courled water , you can find me rocking in a corner :lol:

pity i wasnt so far , id come of a visit !

just wanted to pop in with a quick :hug: QB

girls, i thank you all so much for your support. it means heaps to me. all of you, thank you. she has been mighty cranky again today. it isn't really that she is sick i don't think (although i might take her to GP just to make sure), she just behaves badly when i put her down to do something, eg. she wakes up from a sleep, i give her a cuddle, i put her down to open the blind up and hang some of her clothes up, she screams. i then walk out to the next bedroom and put something in there, she'll really scream then. if i continue to ignore and walk away from her, she will get so upset she starts dry reaching, tears everywhere. if i pick her up, she's fine. if DP picks her up, she'll scream too sometimes, like she just wants me. maybe she just needs extra cuddles lately. two of her teeth came through today, a first molar at the top (the 4th final one) and a canine tooth. maybe it is her teeth but i always dose her up with nurofen on these days. ah well, hopefully it will get better in the next few days.

thanks again, i really appreciate you all being so lovely to me! i am a stressed out chick aren't i?

xxoo

Nah not stressed out... the rest of us have just been through it and know all too well what its like (and I'm still living with it!!!!)

sounds like seperation anxiety!

She sounds a little like DD in that after a sleep, she HAS to have a cuddle on my chest with her special pillow and both lovies too. If I end the cuddle too early for her, she gets very upset - I have to let her end it, though I can usually hurry it up a little if I make a suggestion about what she could do (eg. 'I see your favourite book over there. Why don't you go and read it?') rather than just put her down all of a sudden.
Honestly though, I love those moments with her and being slow to wake up myself, I know how it feels to be rushed in the process!
It's hard for young children to calm themselves once worked up - she probably really does need your help with this so she doesn't reach the retching stage. I have found getting down to their level and re-directing their attention to an interesting activity ('Is that a bug I see on the wall?' 'Oh, here's dolly and she needs to have a ride in the pram now' etc) can really help, and you don't have to give in to her tantrum, just take her mind off it.
It's a difficult time, and I think you're probably the odd one out if it's NOT happening to you at this age/stage! Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

i know i sound like a whinger. but i do take the time to give her a cuddle after a sleep. i will indeed direct her attention to something else. but of course when it is time to pop her down (i come down to her level and give her a favourite book) and tidy her room (she normally loves helping me do this), she will scream. i think maybe it is her teeth. she got two teeth through yesterday.

thanks everyone for your support with this. i just wasn't sure whether it was my DD or other people had experienced it. also, i was hoping i wasn't adding to some anxiety issue by not picking her up!

jols, i might google separation anxiety actually. do you know what age they have this up until normally? just interested to know.

She might have late separation anxiety sweety.

My first didn't have it at all. Ashton had it early, still has it now and he is 4 months. If I leave him with someone other than my mum he cries :( Chase had it at about 11 months!

It's so normal, and she will grow out of it. Hugs to you!

Hi Queenbee,

My DS just turned 13mths and has become very clingy. He used to be easy to put to sleep at night and happy to play on his own, but these days he wants to be constantly held and is a nightmare to put to bed at night.

I have just put it down to that he is more aware of what is happening and is going through seperation anxiety. I am hoping if I stick to the same routine (meaning same order of doing things not necessarily same time) that he will slowly adjust. DS is only 10kilo and I feel it. I think I would feel the same as you if he was 14kilo.

Hang in there. :hug: Here's another one hoping it is just a phase.

Hansie

awwww you poor thing, I know right where you are coming from. Bailey rarely chucks any tantys but when he does they are HUGE! I have found that right when you start to loose it whether it is by yelling, crying or just feeling very stressed it seems to be at the peak of the very bad moment....does that makes sense?

I have found that sometimes Bailey gets like that because he is hungry or tired still, woke up wrong, needs to f@rt (yep, he;s a boy alright!!), feels off or just plain and simple wants more Mummy time. It is hard sometimes, well most of the time, to work out what they want when their vocab is limited.

I found that emptying the entire Tupperware cupbaord is sometimes the BEST thing. Once Bails has calmed down I canthen work through the are you hungry, is the telly on too loud, do we need more softer music, more sleep, or just want me.....

I hope you don't have too many days like that...they are a bugga to get through aren't they?

xxxx

I feel for you queenbee :hug:Im going through the exact same thing with my DS and I know how tiring and frustrating it is when you cant pinpoint what they are crying about.
I think he has been teething and I took him to the docs for a checkup and discovered a few red blotches on his stomache which turned out to be some sorta virus going around, hes settled down a bit in the last couple of days I think another thing was boredom so Ive found new things for him to amuse himself with to keep the house peaceful.
Hang in there and Im sure its just a phase that will shortly pass and everything will be back to normal again soon.

Emz

QB - I've just emailed you....!