What should I expect AFTER birth?

It literally just occured to me that absolutely everything I have been learning has been relating to my pregnancy and labour and birthing my little boy - so I am just wondering ....

What should I expect after he makes his entrance.....

I guess there are heaps of things that I can ask about but what mainly sticks in my mind is...

1. What will my tummy be like once he's out? I have a mental picture of a failed souffle....LMAO
and how long does it take before you start to see some sort of tone coming back? Is it EVER possible to have a waist and flat stomach ever again (I had almost a 6 pack before being pg)

2. Will my poor vag be defaced beyond repair? What sort of discomfort or pain should I be prepared for in the hours / days after birth? Does it ever go back to normal or does it stay loose and floppy forever more ? :rofl:

3. Is DTD difficult or hugely differnt the first time after birth?

Hmmmm thats all I can think of at the moment .... if anyone wants to share their thoughts / experiences or own questions I would love to read them all :)

TIA

Good on you for thinking about this Dee, it totally didn't occur to me! :p

1. Failed souffle isn't far wrong, it goes all floppy and jelly-like, I couldn't look at mine when I lay on my side, it was too weird! But funny.

2. Your vagina is designed to get back into shape! You may have some discomfort sitting if you tear a bit and need stitches, or if you graze (many people graze) - you might want to drink some Ural to help your urine not sting, use wet flushable toilet wipes, and lean RIGHT forward to wee (think, hands on ground butt in the air, so you don't get urine on your tender parts).

3. Some people find DTD just fine, others struggle. It really depends on how things go during the birth, and how you heal. I know people who've DTD within days, and others who've taken many many months. If you have stitches, you may be asked to wait til your 6 week checkup. Taking things slowly and using lubricant should help. Just go slowly and go easy on yourself. :)

I had a caesar so I can only really offer input for Q1 (and even then not sure if post caesar belly is slightly different to post natural birth - apart from the obvious scar).....

1: Jelly Belly. I am still wearing lots of my maternity clothes. I'm usually a size 10 but atm I find size 12-14 fits me comfortably. My belly has gone down heaps and I really believe that it's mostly thanks to breastfeeding.

hahaha its funny how u worry so much about the pregnancy and given birth that u forget about the after affect!!!

Here are my answers going by what happened with me!

1. A failed souffle sounds just about right - although i was never "huge" during my pregnancy and only put on 5.6kgs, my stomach was just like mush!
Before bub i had a flat stomach - now almost 3mths after bub it is still spongy, but not as bad as it was - mind u i havent been doing any sit ups or tummy exercises!

2. Hahahaha no ur poor vag shouldnt be defaced beyond repair - i did tear and needed stitches but in the hospital they had these long thing ice pack things that u put in ur undies that were honestly heaven sent!!!! with them the discomfort was bearable, but going to the toilet stung like hell!!!!
as for it staying floppy and loose - well from what i saw and know of - mine wasnt floopy and loose afterwards - so all good in that area! besides being a bit swollen it went back to looking pretty normal quite quickly!

3. we DTD about 6wks i think after birth - it hurt a bit but not much - and i think most of that was due to not being lubricated enough!
I asked DH how it felt afterwards and he said surprisingly much tighter - however i had been doing my pelvic floor exercises!
Even at my Post natal check up with my ob when she tested my pelvic floor muscles she said it was clearly obvious i had been doing my exercises and i had a pelvic floor that most females would kill for! i was very proud of myself - so DO YOUR EXERCISES!
DTD didnt feel too different however at the time i really wasnt thinking of that i was too worried about it hurting!

Hopefully i have helped! anymore questions just ask away!!!

Goodluck and enjoy ur birthing experience - it truely is an amazing thing to go thru and it does happen all too quickly!

he he Tummy - will be sorta soft and fun to poke cos it will be wobbly. Not concave though! I'd say it will go down to 3/4 the size as soon as he is out, then it will take a few hours/days to contract your uterus back down. BFing helps sooooooo much with this! They will poke your tummy a bit too on order to check your uterus is shrinking back nicely.
OMG it feels great as soon as they are out!

Vag - depending on the circs, it may sting a bit when you wee - I spose it just feels 'sore' and tender is a good word but unless you have stitches you can sit down fine. I was right after a day or so. Shall NOT remain stretched - you know muscles have memory so will go back to usual very soon. I was back dtd after 2 weeks of my first.......and OMG it was so much better! Like I had more nerve endings down there yahooooo!

Your tummy will feel like dough for a few days afterwards. It's really quite a strange feeling - it's been sooo taught for so long and then it's all squidgy and floppy and just not pretty LOL. Although some women I've seen still have a very rounded belly like they are pg - a friend of mine left hospital just as big as she was when she went in. But if you had very good muscle tone before pg, then it's very likely that you will look like that again, but don't expect it to happen right away - your body needs time to get used to not being pg again and for everything to shrink back. And if you can leave hospital wearing your skinny jeans, then that's also fab LOL.

No, it wont be damaged beyond compare, but it will feel like it's gone ten rounds in the boxing ring ROFL and will feel delicate for a while, but a sitz bath (salt bath) will heap with that immensely. If you tear or have an epi, you'll obviously be left with some battle scars, but these will fade in time - I can't even see my scars now. And it will shrink back in size.

As for DTD - the first time after our first baby I felt like a virgin again LOL, only I wasn't drunk ;) It was great though and no way did it feel like I'd just had a baby. I've never had problems with DTD after baby though. There is an article about this with members stories on the BB main site (mine is on there too).

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I was back dtd after 2 weeks of my first.......and OMG it was so much better! Like I had more nerve endings down there yahooooo!

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:rofl: here's hoping!!!!!


Couple of more things I just though of....

Does BF really help with weight loss? .... I have managed to find an extra 20kgs this pg (I honesty don't know where it has come from ..... actually it MIGHT have something to do with the litre of ice cream I manage to consume most nights ....LMAO)

How soon after birth - providing your feeling up to it can you exercise .... I seriously had a dream about doing sit ups the other night and it was sooooooooo good. :rolleyes:

Mmmm yes and no, some women don't find it to be the wonder cure for weight loss post baby and I've seen others shrink back smaller than they were pre pg.

As for exercise, it's hard to say , just take it easy at first and see how you go.

I lost 9kgs by the time i got home from hospy - not sure whether that was due to the healthy hospy food, just having had a baby (i had only put on 5.6kgs) or breastfeeding or a combination of all!
However i couldnt breastfeed for long and in total now i have lost 10kgs - wow an extra 1kg!!!!

as with exercise - i didnt do any - was too busy - looking after a newborn is exercise enough i think! hehehe

Hi DD!
MY Tummy immediately after birth (with both kids) when flat. It felt a little pudgy below the bellow button, but i could walk out of the labour room without people knowing i just had a baby. In saying this is not always the case :)
As for the 6 pack... ask to see RachelM's lol ... she has a 6 pack after children!!! :)

Pain - yes i had a lot of vagy pain.. #1 no tearing and #2 2nd degree - Mostly hurt to sit directly on it - if i sat to the side it was ok. Took a few weeks. More than anything i got bad hemmoroids with #2 and they were worse than the vag pain :)

DTD - took 6 months with DD for me to relax enough to enjoy it. Esp with BFing DTD and lubrication dont often go hand in hand lol.. so you need to take it easy. I think apart from the obvious - with stitches and tearing etc - the emotional side of letting go enough to DTD is worse than the physical discomfort :) its just scary thats all. but yes it does feel good again!!!

BFing and weight loss. I put on 14 kg with #2 and i have lost all bar 1 kg with BFing. i honestly found it to be great. The same happened with #1... but i ended up lossingmore weight than i had previously :) BUt i also put it down to running around, forgetting to eat and being awake longer hours!!!

Hi Doubledee, good on you for being so prepared!
1. i was able to fit back in to my normal jeans about a week and half after DS was born but had a muffin top for a little while, my tummy is still soft but on the way to getting firmer am still BF so need to be a bit carefu i don't over do it with exercise. I was back horseriding at 7 weeks after birth and doing a light fitness class once a week about 10 weeks after i think.

2. sorry if this is TMI, I had an episiotomy and a haematomma (sp) and had to be stitched, unstitched then restitched again, i was convinced it was never going to be normal again, i remember looking at in a mirror when i got home and bawling think i was broken for ever, this is not the case healed up fine. i was very sore for about 4 weeks after until stitched dissolved etc. My advice is after the birth if the offer panadol etc take it! You dont want to give the pain a chance to take hold! I just had to be careful how i sat etc and couldn't stand up for too long at a time.

3. I was terrified of DTD after birth we waited until after 6 week check up it wasn't painful but i was scared so we took it slow, sorry if TMI I have found that it is uncomfortable in certain positions so we stick to what is okay with me. (hope i haven't grossed you out!)

I am BF and have lost heaps of weight I am actually lighter now than i was pre-pregnancy i think, with the exercise they tell you to take it easy until after your 6 week check up but they give you exercises to do as well as pelvic floor ones. if your BF you need to take it a bit easy i think so not to interfere with your supply (i think but don't quote me)

Hope this helps good luck with at all, enjoy your birth experience xxx

You know I didn't give it much thought either.

Tummy - mine looked quite large for a couple of days then floppy. 6.5 months on & I still have no waist. I actually think I look pregnant - maybe about 20 weeks or so. Initially though I only had 3kgs to lose 2 weeks after giving birth. I've since put on another 3kgs - all in the tummy. I have not dieted or exercised though so it's my own fault.

Vag - well I had an episiotomy & vac extraction so there was quite a bit of trauma down there. I had loads of pain from the stitches for 3 weeks then suddenly I felt fine. For about 2 weeks whenever I walked for more than 5 mins I felt like my insides were going to come out through my vag. Not a nice feeling.

DTD - we managed it 3 weeks after the birth. No problems whatsoever. My DF told me that it actually felt tighter. Mind you when I had a pap smear recently the GP had great difficulty even finding my cervix and commented on how loose all my vag muscles were so go figure.

So DoubleDee - are u looking forward to the after birth experience now? hahahaha

lol actually i really am I can't wait to feel in control of my body again and be able to exercise ... see my vag... paint my toe nails etc :rofl:

I just didn't want to have this preconception of what I was going to be like afterwards and get something completely different and be upset IYKWIM?

Yep i know what u mean - no matter what happens, good and bad, yucky and not so yucky its all part of a wonderful journey that is oh sooooo worth it in the end!
Im looking forward to hearing about how it all goes for you!!!! xo

Dee, that is a fantastic question hun. I was the same, and didn't even realise until after I'd given birth, that I literally had no idea what to expect.

I'm not going to answer your questions specifically, because I think you have some good answers already, but instead I'll share with you the things that took me by surprise:

- The amount of blood after giving birth
- How awful it felt not being able to move around after having an epidural and how long it took to recover
- How fantastic it felt to be able to move around after NOT having an epidural and how quickly I recovered
- That pain from an episiotomy really hurts and that lasts for a couple of weeks
- The pain from engorgement when your milk comes in is horrendous - probably worse than the episiotomy
- Breastfeeding isn't always easy at first, but with the right support you can overcome it. Learn the numbers for the ABA and a local IBCLC qualified LC now, and take them to hossy with you jic.

I hope that helps you. It is so good that you are preparing for this now. Good on you.

Hey MR - thankyou so much for adding to this ! I can't tell you how much I appreciate other Mum's thoughts and inputs!!!

xoxox

For me seeing my tummy after my first was born was a bit shocking and failed souffle about sums it up.
My body is not the same as it was before I had children even though I am back at the weight I was before my first was born. My shape has changed (hip bones are further apart, tummy muscles are weaker, and I put on weight now if I don't watch my diet - where for my whole life before kids I could eat anything and not gain a gram...I guess my metabolism has shifted). I think most women find their body shape changes permanently in some way.

The thing that has surprised me though is my boobs. Through two pregnancies, and breastfeeding two babies (one for over two years) they are still in pretty good shape and I don't see a difference. So I guess I can put to rest the myth that b/fing always ruins your boobs :lol:

Oh and I swear, no one - NO ONE - ever mentioned to me that when you first stand up after giving birth you look at the floor and expect to see your insides in a pile between your feet! It felt really, really weird feeling everything "settle" back into it's original space once the baby was out lol.

This is a fabulous thread! So much of the post-birth stuff took me by surprise, and I kicked myself for not being better prepared.

My tummy looked like a deflated souffle for about 3 days. now it is totally back to normal. Tone and all.

Vag - I had a pretty big heamatoma on my left labia (TMI) and I had to put ice condoms in my knickers for a few days (just fill some condoms with water and put them in the freezer - it is AMAZING relief). My hymen was pretty big before birth, but now I have a hymen tag - the left over skin, which is a bit annoying.

I lost almost all my extra 14kg in the birth. I am 2kg off my pre-preg weight now and back into normal clothes almost straight away.

Things that surprised me were:

- The PAIN of engorgement. OMG. Put wet face washers in the freezer now, so you can ice those sore, sore BBs.
- The blood loss. I stopped bleeding after day 7, but then had an orgasm and WOOSH lost heaps of blood when I stood up. I almost fainted and was worried I had an infection! It was normal though and only about 30ml, but geez its scary.
- How weird your whole fanny looks ater birth - its really swollen down there.
- Doing your first poo is a BIG ordeal. I was lucky, but some women really have pain. I recommend holding a HOT washer over your perineum when its time.

Umm...think that's it.

Best of luck with it all.

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2. Will my poor vag be defaced beyond repair? ....Does it ever go back to normal or does it stay loose and floppy forever more ? :rofl:

3. Is DTD difficult or hugely differnt the first time after birth?

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ok I'll just comment on these two points.

on about day 3 or 4 I got a mirror and had a look at my bits. DONT do this if you are inclined to panic over what once was... at least not so soon after the birth. :lol:

BUT when we first DTD at about 6 weeks, my DH said it was like i had never even had a baby come out of there.

it will repair in time. just remember to do lots of PF exercises before and after!

Some great answers here, and you asked some good questions! I think everyone's covered it pretty well, but here's my input:
The pain of engorgement is what really knocked me for six. It was so unexpected and so sudden, I woke up on day three after the birth with what felt like hot volcanic-rock porn-star boobs. Impressive to look at, but excruciating. I remember that pain more than anything about the birth. So brace yourself for that one, and maybe have a good breast pump available. Ease the pressure a bit, and save your bub from drowning in milk!
Oh, and after a bit you'll suddenly notice your hair is falling out everywhere. Don't panic, but it can go on for months. You wont go bald! And your Dyson will definitely get a good workout!
And DO YOUR PELVIC FLOOR EXERCISES! Nobody wants a prolapsed uterus.

Best of luck for a wonderful birthday!

- i looked in a little mirror to see my baby's head crowning and i am still traumatised from it ( not recommended)
-The after pains especially when breastfeeding
- Heavy bleeding like you've never seen (make sure you have black comfy knickers)
- ice packs or even frozen water filled condoms for your vag to soothe any pain after
- I had a natural birth no tearing or stitches but it still looked horrendous after blisters and swollen i was very worried but it did go back to normal quickly
- really spongy belly i still had a little belly 6 months on
-dtd was a little uncomfortable but just tell your partner to go jump if they pressure you
but it did get better and back to normal for me

after pains when breastfeeding can be really painful (I had a drug free labour but had panadol for after pains)
drink lots of water and urals are good to stop the wee stinging
yes engorgement can definitely be painful
the exhaustion from labour but being too excited on a natural high to sleep then crashing the next day
how hungry I was after labour, I could have eaten a cow :o
how long the bleeding went for,
dtd- after #2 better than before kids go figure, first time dtd after baby use lube, lots and lots of lube and take it slow
after dd1 (tear and stitches) my vagina felt sore, swollen and puffy after #2 (no tear)felt normal

I just want to take a moment to thank everyone who has posted their experiences in this thread....
I've absolutely loved reading them, scaring DF with them :rofl: and I know it's made me feel a whole lot more mentally ready to attack this all.....

Thanks so much everyone xoxoxox

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... 2. Your vagina is designed to get back into shape! You may have some discomfort sitting if you tear a bit and need stitches, or if you graze (many people graze) - you might want to drink some Ural to help your urine not sting, use wet flushable toilet wipes, and lean RIGHT forward to wee (think, hands on ground butt in the air, so you don't get urine on your tender parts).

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:redface: I now understand something - my sister (who gave birth 7 months ago) came round on the weekend and threw into my hossy bag a packet of Ural and some Voltaren! The Voltaren I understood but the Ural I scratched my head and thought "There must be a reason she gave me that" but we were on our way out to a wedding and I forgot to ask!

Now I get it!!!! Thanks Nelle for clearing that up!!!

Doubledee

If you had a good tummy with good tone beforehand, your tummy will be fine within a few weeks. After 14 years of swimming I also had a 4-6 pack tummy and my tummy was back to almost normal 8 days after the birth. It still "felt" a little soft to touch but looked pretty good. I also did medicine ball sit ups until I was about 24 weeks pregnant too though.

I dont remember by va-jay-jay being in too much pain. In fact, the nurses were a bit suprised that 48 hours after the birth, I still hadn't asked for any panadol. I had 10 stitches too but not too much pain. My va-jay-jay (well, labia really) was a little swollen for a few weeks where the stitches were and I also got a minor prolapse 10 weeks after the birth because I didnt conentrate on my pelvic floor muscles but that rectified itself 6 months after the birth. The Ob said it was quite common and it would fix itself which it did.

I think we DTD about 8 weeks afterwards and although felt a little tight, there wasnt too much pain at all. Not at all what I was expecting. Someone told me it was like losing your virginity all over again but definitely not that bad. DH actually said that it didnt feel too much different either which was a relief to me!

Two things I want to warn you about though which you didnt ask about and wish someone had told me:

1. Bleeding: I thought I was bleeding to death after the birth and even called the nurses in a few times. I was going through a maternity pad every 1-2 hours and everytime I got out of bed, it felt like a waterfall flooding everywhere.

2. That first poo after the birth: Not as bad as I was imagining. It didnt affect the stitches whatsoever and wished I hadnt have put it off and put it off. The quicker your body gets back into normal mode, the better.

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how hungry I was after labour, I could have eaten a cow :o

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when i was filling in the menu request each day in hospy they had things like...

sandwich OR salad OR hot meal
then
fruit OR dessert

i crossed all the OR 's out and wrote AND!!!! i was starving! :rofl:

hahaha myson, thats so cute

hello dd

one thing that i didnt expect was the pain in my pelvis through the birth and in the after effects. that was the biggest pain for me. you know how it opens up a little to let the babies head through. i looked like i had been riding an elephant for a year.


also, my tum was pretty good when i left hospital. it feels so weird though!

and vagina looks superhuman, like it should have its own postcode for a couple of days!!!

oh and another thing i forgot to add,
i had nookie 3 weeks after birth because i wanted to see how it felt and i was comfortable. TMI here, but before baby i had never had an orgasm, ever and since having him i can have one every time which is very cool! i had succomed to being one of those women that never ever get to have one. i put it down to a mixture of hormone change and being closer with dp.