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Hi everyone.. not sure if im posting this in the right section, i wasnt too sure..
Just need some advice..... As my partner and i aren't married (or engaged) which surname will the baby have? is there a general rule for this situation? or is it our choice? I'm happy either way, but we're just not sure what to do.
a hyphened surname also isnt an option.. both names are too long.
anyone else been in my situation?
Rach
Hi Rach,
I've not been in this situation but my sister has she has taken her partners surname for both the kids. When she fell pg with #1 she had only been with him 4wks.
When our DD was born we weren't married or engaged either so we gave her DF surname because we knew we were going to get married one day so saved the trouble of changing it.
But it really is your choice.
My sister and her DP are not married, but living together. She has two boys from previous relationships and together they also have a 9 month old baby girl.
Her first son has her surname (dad not involved at all), her second son has hyphenated names (her surname and her first husband's surname) and the newest addition carries her DP's surname only.
So I'm sure they can either name, so whatever sits best with you.
love
sushee
Its totally a personal choice.Gemma has Corey's surname as we're not married but know we're together for ever so it seemed naturaly to us for her to have his name.Corey wanted it hyphenated but it just sounded so dumb and long as our surnames don't mix!
Thanks girls, i am quite happy for our daughter to have my partners surname, and as i said, a hyphenated surname isnt an option!
I just wondered what other people in my situation decided on!
i guess we need to make a decision sometime soon!
Hi Rach - Both my sisters gave there children their own surnames, one is no longer with the baby`s father (baby being 19 LOL) and the other is still with the baby`s father and I`d expect them to be together for a long time to come but still she gave the baby her own surname.
I was born before my Mum and Dad married, they were both waiting for divorce papers to come through and in those days it took years, which it did, I was given my Dad`s surname as they were going to get married once the papers were finalised, they ended up marrying 3.5 years after I was born.
My cousin isn't married to her partner and when they had their children they decided that the children would take his surname. When it comes down to it is is totally personal choice, there is no right and wrong. (IYKWIM?!)
Hi Rachy
You can use either yours or your partners surname. In hospital your baby will usually be known by your surname, but this is only to make things less complicated with the paperwork.
Matt and I will be giving the Midget his surname. We both know that we're going to be together forever even though we're not married or engaged yet.
Same applies with us, not engaged or married yet but know it will happen eventually - so Bubba is having his surname - mainly so there is less paperwork down the track!
Our bub is getting both our names. We are engaged but even if we were married i would like her to have both our names.
Its up to you.. i dont think anyone really cares or it matters that much in the end so its just what you would prefer.
Now first names..... thats another story!! :rolleyes: ;)
Hi, we had this problem when I booked into our original hospital. In NSW the baby is given the surname that is on the Mother's Medicare card. My hubby and I are married but have different surnames. Eventually I'll change mine over to his but for the time being keeping it the same as my maiden name. The Hawkesbury hospital told us that on the birth registration papers that are filled out by them that the baby will have my surname and that for the centrelink baby bonus the money would only be paid into an account that had my maiden surname on it, if I hadn't changed my medicare card to my hubby's surname before the birth. In Qld though I contacted Births, Deaths & Marriages to find out whether the same policy would apply and they told me that we could use either surname name though the baby whilst in hospital would use my surname and the same baby bonus rules would apply. It seems that every state is different in which rules apply to what. In NSW we were told that we would be able to change the babies surname at a later date but in QLD were told that we needed to choose carefully as we couldn't amend the details at a later date. To know for certain contact Births, Deaths & Marriages in the state that you'll give birth in as I know it's all been very confusing for my hubby and I and we're really glad that I didn't end up staying in NSW as we would have had to rush through my change of surname before the babies born and get a new medicare card with my new surname.
Good Luck & I hope this has all made some sense to you.
Best Wishes
Sharon
We were engaged when our first bubs was born & while he was in hospital with me he had my surname ~ less chance of confusion as to who he belonged too especially in a major city hospital with lots of babies (even in the NICU unit where he was he had a sticker on his name card saying to always check as there was another baby with a similar name). Once we were transferred to another hospital & he was a patient by himself without me staying in with him he could be admitted under my partners name, so there he became what is now our surname (we married when he was just over 18mths old).
Like some of the other girls, we aren't yet married (not even engaged yet), but there was really never any need for discussion on this - baby is having his surname as we fully intend to get married at some stage after she's born.
He already calls me his wife to most people anyway, and since we've been together over 6 years it's kind of inevitable LOL!
When we eventually have kids, they will have my surname. I didn't take DH's name when we got married, and he also agrees that it would be nice to carry on my surname for my Dad who passed away. He was more of a father to DH than his own ever was so he is more than happy to do that. DH is a Smith and hates it, so that's another reason he doesn't want our kids to have his name.
My best friend and her partner decided to give their son her surname because her brothers looked unlikely to be having children to carry on the name.
hey rachy
when i got pregnant with my first child me and my man had been together for two month and i gave my daughter his name now almost 3 years we are pregnant again and been married for 5 months this month its up to you but you never know you may marry your babys father in the comin years you just never now but it up to you ypu can always change it i think not 100% sure on that but good luck
we are not married either but, our two kids have my partners surname.... and this one will too..... i just think it is a mark of respect to the dad if his kids have his name....
i think you should give your baby the fathers last name. i have children with different last names and im glad they do because thats there dad no matter what i think of him and in your case it would be even stranger to be with your man and in love with him and not give your baby his last name
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Huni, do you plan to ever get married?
If so then I'd take his surname for the baby, but if unsure in anyway, then have yours.
Hope I haven't offended. ;)
Just for something different - I have friends who have 4 boys. The first and third have her name and the second and forth have his name. I think that it is going to cause great confusion but they are really happy with it and say that they haven't had any troubles at school or anything like that.
Personally I will never change my name but will be quite happy to use DP's surname for the kiddies (even though I like mine better). He refers to me as his wife now and a lot of people know me as Mrs so I think I have probably taken the name by proxy if not in reality.
Taff
Just to throw another option into the ring....
DH and I have been married 11 years (married at 20 while still students - crazy!) and I always retained my maiden name. From day one I said I wanted our kids to have my surname (my dad died when I was 9 and I am an only child, and in my DH's family there are plenty of people to carry on his name). To which my DH fantastically agreed. Now I am pg the agreement still stands - DH is totally unfazed by the concept - in his eyes passing on your name does not a father make. Strange thing for him will be that he will be the stay at home dad - he will probably be confused for the nanny (or "manny", as the case may be)!!
We are married but my name is hyphenated.
Bubs when we get pregnant will take on Alan's name.
To me its tradition (old hag here :lol:)...
So I can carry on some sort of legacy of my last name. One child's middle name will be Stroud. That way, when the child is older enough and they have children, they can do the same thing.