Me again .... new midwife thinks I am having a baby elephant....

Sick of me in this section yet? ....LOL

So I just came home from a midwife appointment and I'd seen one that I haven't seen before.....I figure she must be new there....

Anyways ..... told her about the last couple of days and she agrees that things are happening and that I've had a small show etc

Jumped up on the bed and she was feeling my abdomen and she got this really funny look on her face, looked at DF, back at me and then back to the belly.....

She asks me if any of the other midwives have taken a guess as to size of bubs, I told her that no one had mentioned size but I would be curious to know......

She takes a deep breath and says that I am definately having a big baby - she thinks 9lb's PLUS.....

She then asked me if my mother had natural births to which I told her she had C-Sections for both....

She told me that she feels I should be open to pain relief, forceps, episiotomy and possibly even a C-Section....

I came right out and asked her if in her opinion she felt I might not be able to deliver LJ naturally and she just gave me this weird arse look again and paused ....then said that she didn't believe that I wouldn't be able to but DF and I should take some time to discuss all our options.....

Now I feel really uneasy .... like she seems to think that I have no chance to get this kid out by myself but she didn't want to say anything .....

DF is 6'4 (13lb baby) and I am only 5'3 and I was a 6lb baby....

Have any of you ladies been on the small side and had big boofers naturally?
Before seeing his chick today I felt very confident that I was made to do this and wouldn't have any bothers but now I am feeling very doubtful .....

Anyways thanks for listening.....

Whaaaaat? That's rubbish and she should know that. :hug: How disconcerting.

My first bub was born naturally (no pain relief, so it can be done, I didn't even consider asking, which surprised me), and he was 9lb4oz. It can be done!! My ds's weight was length, so that's not harder to get out at all! Many heavy babies are just long babies.

Are you having bub in the normal wards, or the FBC? :hug: Hugs again, that m/w should never have instilled anything but confidence in you and your ability to birth well!

There isnt much way of telling what will happen until the time comes! My mum had 3 c/secs due to a small pelvis. I on the other hand had DD 7lb 12oz and DS 9lb both naturally. I had an epidural with DD and no pain relief with DS. I also had no stitches or other intervention.

I think everyone needs to be open to the possibilities of pain relief, c/secs and other intervention. If it means saving the life of you and/or your baby, you do what is necessary.

She should have been more tactfull about her 'concerns' which may turn out NOT to be a concern at all.

Good Luck

You have to check out this thread!!

Honestly, I have no idea how she thinks she can tell the size of the baby and your ability to birth it by feeling your tummy anyway :rolleyes:.

Dee
I was told I was having a BIG bub and then another told I was having a little bub and ended up haveing an 8 pd 2 oz bub - so a nice size!
I reaqlly dont think that they can tell by feel or even by US - I think that you should stay calm and realxed and know that YOU CAN HAVE WHAT EVER BIRTH YOU WANT!
Please dont let her talk you into (or scare) you into something you dont want - believe me I know what thats like.

I wish you all the best and send you relaxinf vibes!

Kate xox

sorry guys forgot to mention that this was at the FBC....

I was told DS was going to be a tiny little baby.....i dont call 7lb9oz tiny LOL

Im soooo over middys and OBs telling mums they are going to have big babies.....so what if they are...our bodies can still birth naturally regardless of a size in most cases. I only worry about the head size...not how much they might weigh!!

Hey DoubleDee,
That's so exciting bubs is due any time now!!
I have heard many stories of "odd" midwives through family members who are Drs....
I think the majority are fantastic and have their heads screwed on correctly and go by proper medical training, but a fair few think their "motherly instincts" and "old wives tales" are a lot to go by. I delivered my 9lb 2oz son with midwives and they were great, having no problems (or intervention - nor was it offered which I preferred).
This particular midwife sounds a bit strange. Nothing can stop you from trying to give birth naturally to your babe, despite the size (if that's your preference). There are options if you find after giving it a go and you physically can't.
Try and relax and don't take what this m/w has said as gospel as she doesn't sound medically accurate. Personally if she happened to be there for my birth I would ask for one I was comfortable and familiar with (you're well within your right). She also shouldn't be pushing you into any decision you aren't confident with - if in doubt seek a doctor's opinion - they are definitely the experts.
Good luck!! :hug:
XX

Bah.. I wouldn't listen to her!!! HOW awful of her to try and get you to doubt your ability. You truly don't know unless you are there - in the moment - and THEN you will see what this baby wants to do.

I was told - by midwives AND my OB AND a growth scan - that my bubs were going to be over 10 pound and MASSIVE basically.

DS - 8 pound 2.5 oz
DD - 8 pound 11.5 oz

They were both REALLY LONG - and SKINNY.

So that could be what she is feeling - long limbs. Its not uncommon for a tall guy to have tall babies. both mine are always off the growth charts for height - because their dad is 6 foot 7 - even though I'm only 5 foot 5 (and a half).

I wouldn't even listen to her. She's an idiot. JMO of course!!! lol

Are you friggin serious?! :o That's so strange...I can't see why you would need a c-sec just for a big baby, since pelvises stretch. That's just a strange thing for a Birth Centre middie to say...I'm confused now...

DO NOT LISTEN TO HER......
she has never felt your tummy before so she has no prior history with your baby.....
just forget what she said


YOU CAN BIRTH THE BABY YOUR BODY MADE!!!!

Hi Dee,

I am 5ft 4 and had a 9lb 3oz baby, vb with gas and peth. My smallest and firts born was my hardest. So big does not make it harder necesaserly (sp).

Thanks girls .... I has made me feel a lot better hearing you stories....

I think your right she is just a bit strange and it's just a bit crappy that I drew her as possibly the last midwife I'll see before I go into labour....

SJ - I had a look at that link to the pics - full on thanks for showing me thatr.

Nelle - yeah I know it's not the kind of reaction I expected to get from a BC midwife.... has me wondering if she is from dleivery suite and just filling in ......

Hi Dee,

Sounds like the midwife was overstepping her skills! I had soooo many u/s with DS and the last one on his birthday put his weight 250g above what his birth weight was and as he was only 1.5kg (3 lb 10 oz) that is a big difference. So even u/s gets it wrong.

My sister is average to small height and weight and her second bub was 12 lb 8 oz (5.5kg) :o born naturally - squatting, I think she had a bit of the gas but nothing else. I think if she had been told that the bub was going to be that big her anxiety would have gotten in the way of her birthing.

I think your midwife was trying to be helpful in letting you know you might need a comprehensive birth plan but I dont think she can pretend to be a soothsayer and correctly guesstimate.

Good luck with the birth and remember your body was made to birth your baby.

I too wonder if she was someone filling in, it might not be unheard of if it's really busy in the FBC I guess? If you want, feel free to PM me the name of the middie and I'll see if I recognise it, I've been through the FBC twice now. :)

hun i pushed out an 11 pounder all natural ;)

Sounds to me like that mw has to be new cos she has no flipping idea!

dee, don't stress about it all
you've seen the size of me (about 5'6, i think?) and my ds was 10pnds3oz. i had him vaginally but i did use pain relief.
honestly, it's not worth stressing about anything just based on one person looking at you, iykwim?

Dee, I was told I was having a "larger than average" baby with DD - she was 6lb7oz and 46cm so she was TINY. They can NOT tell by feel. Anyway it doesn't matter how heavy the baby is as the weight can be due to many different factors eg. length as others have mentioned.

Dee, come back in here and read this all again any time you need to ok?

and txt me if you get this middy when LJ comes - I'll come up with the duct tape...

hun i wouldn't take any notice of that midwife. My friend birthed a 12 pound baby without pain relief and not even a graze!

Your body will handle it, you can do it, it is what women were born to do!

Your baby will be the perfect size for you! There's no way of telling absolutely what size your baby will be. The position of your baby and an active labour will help enormously no matter what size your baby is.

Melissa.

Dee, hun, don't let the midwife rattle your cage. My sister was HUGE and her bub was 3kg - no one can tell until the little darling arrives.

I've no idea what you are planning for your birth (tho I'm guessing it's a natural birth if you're heading to a BC), but you can have whatever birth you want - just trust yourself and have faith in yourself. And if you're worried about the same midwife - or any other - rattling your cage during your birthing experience, tell them when you get to the BC to keep any thoughts/opinions on pain relief etc to themselves unless asked. This is where your birth partner can come in handy - you have more important things to focus on.

What the midwife did was undermine your confidence to birth your baby ... in the lead-up to your birthing experience, think positive, talk positive and regain your confidence, because you can birth your baby, whatever size it may be.

All the very best :).

Andie

Hi Dee,
Don`t let this MW rain on your parade hun! I was told with my 5 pg, that all my bubs were "big", but i carried such alot of fluid. Don`t worry yourself over it,you`ll be fine,my heaviest bub was 3.7kg- so not an Elephant like the MW & Doctors thought & boy did i rub it into their faces,lol. Good luck,hun :hug:

Dee - Kye was 8lb 9.5 oz (3.9kg), 54.5 cm long and had a HC of 37.5 :o

I had a waterbirth with nothing else bar gas and only ended up with a few grazes on my labia, you can do this babe!! Dont listen to that stoopid MW :lol:

I hate it how MW's say things like that, have faith in yourself hunny, you will do a great job!!

Try not to take it too seriously, i was told mu bub was little and he was 8 pound 8 ounces not exactly small! my girlfriend was told her baby wouldbe close to 11 pound, her baby was just over 9 pound!
They really should not even try to guess as in my experience it is rarely accurate.
You are right hun, you are made to do it and you will be fine, good luck and i'm still sending you good labour vibes
xxxx

Thankyou so much everyone I just keep coming in and re reading all these posts trying to find my feet again.....

I know I am an emotional wreck at the moment but I am sitting here in tears..... just had to hang up on my mum.....

She decided that now is a good time to tell me that I probably won't be able to birth this baby naturally and because I am soooooooooo overdue (um 3 days is not even ratable on the overdue scale) I should just have the c-section now as I don't want to kill the baby by "overcooking" it....

My mum has NEVER laboured naturally she was booked in for 2 c-sections as she was told she is too small to have babies and my bro and I were tiny babies neither of us over 6lb, but they never even let her try......

I feel so horrible for going off my head and hanging up on her but I need to BELIEVE that I can do this and prior to this stupid midwife yesterday I honestly didn't have a single doubt in my head that I would be completely capable and would just do it .....

Now I am chanting to myself that I can do it but I just don't believe it anymore....

So angry at the MW and my mum for doing this but even more angry at myself for letting them.....Argh!

Someone get me some valium and a straight jacket.....

omg Dee :hug: what a horrible thing to say.

Dee, if you need me to come around and encourage you in person I can! Or if you want to come over here (if you can be stuffed!). You can do this!! If your df is tall, then any weight will most likely be a long baby, and plus, if you bub has fat, well fat is squishy and will squeeze through! You can do it!
And given all the pre-labour you've had, it might not take you long either! :hug:
Some people are slow cookers and some are fast cookers. I can't remember who I was talking with the other day, but he was saying his wife is a well known slow-cooker, not a baby before EDD.

DD :hug:

breathing in and out close your eyes and imagine nice warm calming energy around you.... and repeat
I can do this, I will do this, I can do this, I will do this, I can do this, I will do this when the time is right You are in the thoughts. support and prayers of your many BB ladies following your journey.

YOU CAN DO THIS....


now for my story, I was 5 days overdue and went into labour naturally, my sis had a 10 lb 5 oz baby with only gas. You have prepared and researched this. Your bub is just very comfy and waiting for the right time to come.

Thanks again girls.... things are going downhill at this end ...

DF is currently having a screaming match with my mother - and she has now disowned me ....lol

on the upside i completely lost my plug earlier so thats wonderful...

I was chatting to a close gf before and she said just to rememeber that I am the little engine that could :rofl:

I am printing this out to have with me so that I can read back over it anytime I start to doubt myself...... thankyou so much you honestly have no idea how much you taking the time to pop in and post means to me

xoxoxoxoxo

You can do this, you can do this! You will do this, you will do this! Go Dee!

Prove that mw wrong hun!

Dee - like the fabulous Dory said - just keep swimming.. just keep swimming...

You are NOT your mother. You are NOT having her babies - you are having yours. No comparison necessary.

YOU can do this.

ETA - and woohoo for plug - you show that biatch midwife who is in control of the situation.

oh no what a silly thing to say on your mothers part! Hun you will be fine!!

It is such an emotionally charged time. You know what, you can do anything you set your mind to. My MW told me at 35 weeks that my bub would be huge and I would have to have a c-sect. She upset me so much and really affected my confidence. I had a beautiful vaginal birth, no epi, no gas no tearing. So I showed her.

Your body is perfectly primed to birth this baby. You have nothing to be afraid of, try to welcome labour, it can be a wonderful empowering experience.

Hey and if it makes you feel any better my mum had me at 2 weeks overdue, I was 9lb3oz and she is only 4ft 11 for goodness sake. She did it without drugs.

The female body is a wonderous thing. From now on try to forget all the crap going on around you and get ready to meet your baby.

HTH
Spring xx

Dee, how exciting that your baby is on the verge of making its way into the world!
I just wanted to pop in and wish you a wonderful birth. You've had a crappy couple of days, and I can only suggest you go and take your frustrations out on a pillow - punch it till it hurts (hurts the pillow, I mean) :p. Once you've killed the pillow, you can refocus your energy on preparing your body and mind to have your bub.

And you can birth your baby the way you want. You can. You can. YOU CAN! Cos you are you - Dee. No one else, you. And when you baby decides it's ready to be born, you will be ready to give birth the way you want to :).

So glad you're going to print out your thread - everyone in here supports you 110pc.
Just trust in yourself.

Andie xx

You can do it Dee just remember all the positivity you had before that stupid mw scared you. Don't let what your mum said get to you too much, as someone else said, it is your body and you baby and birth, not hers. Good luck hun can't wait to read your birth announcement.

You can totally do this!! I'm 5 ft 1 and had a 3.9kg baby, no drugs, NVD. Don't listen to your mum, surround yourself with supportive people and focus on you and your baby, your body is perfectly designed to birth your baby. Good news about the mucous plug, sounds like things are moving along!

Do I know anyone? Sure do! My sisters best friend is 5ft nothing. Her first baby was to my brothers best friend who was 6ft something. He used to have to duck in our living room to avoid the fan. When she was pregnant the poor honey looked like an olive on a toothpick.

But it turned out her DS was all arms and legs. He was a tall baby and she delivered him all natural. All 11 pounds.

Hopefully by now you have a wonderful little baby in your arms and all the negatives have been washed away. It is so much easier for them to get at you when you are pregnant, and I know from experience you resent them for taking advantage of that. Just keep doing your own thing and try not to think on it too much.