Overweight - High BMI.

Well. Apparently overweight woman should not be pregnant. According to the OB I saw at the hospital today.
I also apprently choose to be fat.
I am so angry at this doctor. He constantly contradicted himself throughout the appointment and was incredibly insensitive...

He even told me I have put my unborn baby at risk by overeating and being lazy... I'm sorry - you have cameras installed in my house so that you know what I do all day, every day? Because they would be wrong. I do not over eat and I am incredibly active.

Oh and because of my high BMI, I am going to get pre eclampsia and diabetes. Pardon? That's right! I realise my risk for these things is higher because I am overweight but it DOES NOT guarantee that I will get them.

Oh yes and by being overweight, I make their job harder because they have to work harder at palpatating my belly to feel the fundal height... He actually said those words!

So ladies, I ask you, am I alone in being overweight with a high BMI?
Lets band together and make each other feel not so alone!
Those that have gone on to have healthy babies - tell me and put my mind at rest!?

I am so sorry you were treated this way:grouphug:

I would have been considered to be having a high BMI. Its not the be all and end all.

Both my kids are fine.

I never had high blood pressure - mine was perfect. Never got pre-eclampsia or GD.

So there ya go. A fat lady with "perfect pregnancies"

:)

Oh that is just horrible!!!

He is a professional and what he has told you is a load of bs saying you will get this and that, like u said having a high bmi can contribute but far from means you WILL get these things.

At most public hospitals when u have to see the obs you can't pick who you do and don't want to see but you can say you only want to see a woman, I would consider that to avoid seeing an ob, who needs to see someone to make them feel bad?

I would also consider making a complaint about his unprofessional conduct! Maybe that sounds a bit over the top but the thing is from the sounds of things...i.e him calling you lazy..what the??? etc he was completely unconstructive. The thing is you are pregnant now and your bmi is what it is so if he was genuinely concern he should have offered information and advice on what you should do to avoid possible complications and have the best outcomes for everyone iykwim?

Wishing you a wonderfully happy and healthy pregnancy!!!!!!!

Bec, that's awful. I can't believe you have been treated like this. At my first appt (10wks) I was seen by a different Dr as mine was away and he had a bit of an attitude and once he worked out my BMI, told me that my weight would have been why I had taken so long to conceive - all this without having any of my medical history, not knowing a thing about me at all. I was a bit put off by him. Anyway, I had to go to an appt at the hospital because I was a whole .5 over the BMI cutoff for the hospital for a physical by the anaethetist. Every other appt I have had I have been treated with respect and have been very happy. It was just that first appt and I am glad I don't have to see him anymore. I did end up with gestational diabetes, but so far BP has been great, everyone is happy and I have lost 4kg during the pregnancy with little effort. Now, my BMI is actually under that cutoff for the hospital! I think it makes a huge difference when you are treated well and you trust your care providers.
Is it too late to change OB's? I know I would be seriously considering it given his attitude.

Bek - Thanks hun...

Arimeh - Thank you so much for sharing that... I bet your kids are gorgeous too!

Jas - I'm thinking about it. I just don't know - I think after today, I would rather forget all about it!I will be telling them I refuse to see that Ob again though.

Megan - I don't actually get a choice. I was seen by him because he is one of the Ob's at the hospital I'm having to give birth at. They have a team that rotate to see high risk patients for their anti natal appt's... I will be requesting that I don't see him but I think it's decided on the day who see's who.

What an A*****e! Was this at Monash? As a medical professional you would think he would be a bit more understanding to different medical issues. My mum is classed as obese and is getting lapband surgery done next month. According to her doctors, obesity is actually an illness.

So what, does he want you to go on a diet and put the baby at further risk from not getting enough nutrients?

I dont know about anyone else, but I know I am overweight and I dont need to be told that from other people. We all look in the mirror everyday and know what we see.

Bec, dont even start to worry yourself about this mans insensitive comments. Keep going, enjoying your pregnancy and really, all you can do is feel sorry for this man who obviously needs a bit of action himself!

I too would be making a complaint about the way he spoke to you.

I'm not saying that being overweight when pregnant won't increase the risk of certain issues, because it can, but it's not a guarantee that it will, and he had no right to make you feel like it would be.

I was one of those who was overweight (BMI around 37) when I fell pregnant and I had a textbook pregnancy - no GD, no pre-eclampsia nothing. My Dr even said he would love if all his pg patients were as fit and healthy as I was. My sister, who is really skinny, got GD and all other sorts of complications.

So not only was he wrong, he was rude, and you don't have to put up with that.

that's the way to go then. I hope you don't come across him again.

Bec, I would be absolutely livid if someone had've said those things to me. You really should make a complaint - the things he said were completely unnecessary and he should be brought down a peg or two.
I assume you are going public? (If you're private, good heavens, change OBs!)
Is it absolutely necessary that you see an OB? (i.e. are you high risk?) If not, you could try to transfer to a midwife program. My last pg was managed by midwives and they never weighed me. It was never an issue.
I was 5-10kg overweight before getting pregnant this time, and so far have been completely complication-free.
All the best for the rest of your pg - and I really hope you see a better Dr (or nurse) next time.

Ubba - you crack me up! Indeed - I look in the mirror and I know exactly what I see - I hate it and it is most definately not a choice. I think the doctors have tried everything bar surgery to get me to lose weight but nothing I do budges it. I eat small meals, I eat lots of healthy fresh fruit and veg and only lean meats. I don't pig out on lollies or choc, fast food is a rare thing. I walk everyday and I rarely stop during the day - except for Belly Belly of course!

Oh yes, he did tell me not to diet but to restrict what I am eating and try to lose some weight and definately don't gain any... One of his many contradictions!

Sushee - exactly, like I said in my original post - I know that by being overweight my risk for these complications are higher but it's not a guarantee it is going to happen... I felt really disgusted when I walked out and had a good cry all the way home. It just felt like it didn't matter what I said - I was obviously lieing and not caring about my unborn baby. By the time I got home, I was calm enough to realise I am doing everything I can to make sure this baby is healthy and strong - no one can really ask anymore of anyone.

What a horrid man! Sounds like he's been in the industry for too long (not that that's an excuse!).

I have a low BMI- and guess what? I developed post labour pre-eclampsia. It can happen to anyone!

Forget what he said. The health of your child will depend largely upon the food you eat between now and the time he or she is due - not your BMI. Avoiding additives in food (ie- artificial colours and flavours etc), and toxins in personal care are also important factors. (Check out Julie Eady's 'Additive Alert', and Bill Statham's 'The Chemical Maze').

A brilliant guide (for low, medium, and high BMI's alike) for pregnancy is Francesca Naish's book- 'The Natural Way to a Better Pregnancy'. It also incorporates many factors other than diet like dealing with stress and avoiding post natal depression.

All the best for a happy and healthy pregnancy. I'm sure you'll prove that id**t doctor wrong!!

And Congratulations!!!

XXX

omg bec - was this at mmc again? you have had the worst time so far! i am so angry on your behalf! i know you're only just over on the bmi scale but, the thing is, monash takes patients in this category because they are supposed to be able to cope. if other hospitals are going to refer us (damn 1 pt over!) to monash, then we go to monash not for a lecture on our weight (thanks, already making ourselves feel bad enough without you adding to it) but because we're told they're experts in handling people 'in our circumstance'.

argh. it drives me crazy. i spent ages beating myself up for being a horrible person for getting pg when i was overweight before i came to the conclusion that, despite my weight, my body has allowed me to become pg and i need to trust it that it can handle the strain. in the meantime i can do my best to ensure i eat well etc - which is exactly what you're doing.

please do not allow this imbecile of a doctor make you feel any less worthy of being pg and a soon to be mum because he lives in the world of text books and choose not to acknowledge that each patient is an individual but would rather deliver self righteous drivel on the basis of assumptions rather than fact.

i have come to the conclusion that while doctors obviously have a lot of training & knowledge behind them, they do not necessarily know me or my body better than i do. you know yourself bec - you are not lazy, you are active, you eat well & you will NOT automatically have any complications.

edit - sorry for ranting. DP always tells me i type too much...but i'm getting more & more fired up on this topic!

Well... I have had 2 pregnancies where I have been in a higher BMI and not once did I have pre-eclampsia, high blood pressure or diabetes.
I am still above the BMI for this pregnancy AND I have been okayed for a home birth. My previous pregnancies & labours were considered for this and they saw that I have had great pregnancies and "labour like a champ" in their words.

Tell that Ob to check out how many women in the recommended BMI end up with PID, PE & high blood pressure.
I'd definitely be making a complaint too.
I hope the rest of your visits are much more pleasant hun :hug:

Missbec i am absolutley horrified that a medical professional could be so rude and arogant:angry:. I am with everyone else you need to make a complaint so that this doctor does not continue doing this to other overweight ladies it is bad enough that he has done it to you. I would also request that you don't see the dr and find out when he will be in the clinic and try not to book an appointment for those days.
As for being overweight while pregnant that is me. I was way above my BMI with my sons pregnancy and yes i got GD but other than that all went fine. He was a natural birth weighted 8pd 11oz (little big but not huge) but i was treated with respect. As for my first pregnancy with my daughter i had preclampsia towards the end but that was also due to the stress of her father leaving me 4 weeks before she was due. Again she was a natural birth and there were no other complications through the pregnancy. With my son i gained 4 kilos and with my daughter i gained 5 kilos but after the birth i lost about 11 kilos with my daughter and lost 15kilos with my son. As long as you eat right and look after yourself no matter what size you are there is always chances of complications and yes the chances are higher when you are overwwight but there is also support out there that will help you get through you pregnancy if complications arise.
Take care of yourself and your precious unborn baby and complain about the doctor.
Goodluck:hug::goodluck:

BMI of 34 here...yes I have high blood pressure but I doubt that is due to my weight as it was always normal before pregnancy.

I hate being fat and pregnant simply becuase of the way I look. I graciously (not) got told by a collegue the other day "Oh you're pregnant...I didn't know...I thought you'd just got fatter".

Have had no greif from midwives or anything to this point except that I was rejected for a home birth, just my GP saying to put on no more than 5-7 kilos. Am trying very hard.

And in addition...we were all obviously healthy enough to GET pregnant in the first place. If we were "too overweight" then nature would not have intended us to get pregnant!

I rest my case. :-)

HUGS - sounds like the Obs I saw in WA when I was trying to fall pregnant. I got all of the above - i was devestated and felt like it was MY fault we couldnt fall preggers and I had let my hubby down...
you know what - 2 weeks later I fell pregnant! HA! Take that!!!

Now @ nearly 27 weeks I have not had any problems! (touch wood)
HUGS and chin up - you are not alone!!!

:hug: Bec that doc sounds like an (insert rude word here). Tell him to go get over himself - i'm sure he was no perfect physical speciman!!! He sounds like a bully!

Wow - I had every intention of personally replying to every reply - I shall see how I go...
I just want to say a massive thank you to you all for getting angry on my behalf, giving me sympathy, cheering me on, and for sharing your stories... I feel so much better having read every reply, knowing I wasn't wrong to feel so angry at the treatment I recieved and to know that I do have a right to be pregnant and to have a baby... You are all so wonderful and I honestly didn't expect such a response. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! :grouphug:

Ok here goes the personals!

Snacks - I am high risk. I have suffered more than 12 miscarriages (I stopped counting at 12), my sons birth was also rather traumatic in that I suffered a second degree tear that never healed properly and I haemorraged for 2 days post birth. I was supposed to have a transfusion but some thing got screwed up and I never got it... So unfortunately I have to go to this hospital and have this care... Luckily I only have to see them again at 28, 36 and 41 weeks. The rest of the time I can see my regular Ob who doesn't have an issue with my weight and says I am deliciously pregnant!

Jellybean - I am going to find those books! I love to read anyway and I think I have read all the pregnancy books I can find so something new is always good!! Thank you!

Sloane - I love you! Seriously! You put into words exactly what was going through my head - round and round... You can tell DP from me that you can type as much as you like..! I so appreciate the support you give... Thank you so much and big hugs! Damn that one point!

Lisa - I am so glad your pregnancies went well - gives me much hope!!

Trac - Again, thank you so much for giving me so much hope! It sounds like your son was a good weight!

Angela - I'm really glad that the treatment you are getting is good! It sounds like you are doing all the right things in all the right places... And you are right - if our bodies weren't healthy enough we wouldn't be having children!

Mrs BB - Way to go!! Stupid doctors making you feel worse when you were already going through a stressful thing... Some really need to take a lesson in bedside manner I think... I am so glad that you are pregnant and are having your much wanted baby... I hope everything continues to go well and that it's everything you ever dreamed of when you hold your baby for the very first time...

Wow - I did it. I probably didn't say everything I wanted to say because I was so worried about replying to everyone but I just really wanted you to know that each reply meant a lot to me and that I appreciated the time you went to, to post it. You really have no idea the weight (hahahah - now if body weight was that easy to shift!) you have lifted from my shoulders... You are all right and wonderful for putting yourselves out there to help a complete stranger feel better! What would I do without my Belly Belly friends?

Again - a massive, massive Thank You!!

Control - Thanks hun... And no he was far, far from a perfect speciman!

Thats what Belly Buddies are for!!!

Bec, that is absolutely horrible. He has no right to speak to you that way at all. You have every right to be angry and upset about being treated that way. So much for a 'professional'.

This guy could cause a more vulnerable woman some horrific long term body issues that could hurt her and her baby. I'd put in a complaint, just to see his tongue is reigned in. You'd be doing a public service.

I have always been overweight in mine, high BMI on some. No GD, no PE. It was probably better for my babies and myself that I was. I suffer from HG and without the excess, having been undiagnosed for so long could have been far worse than it was. So much for it always being a bad thing.

OMG what total BS about what your OB said, get yourself a new OB firstly.

I am overweight 107kgs, im not sure what you are, and I have 2 healthy children. Yes my Ob thought I am at risk for diabetes, but I went on a low GI diet the wholet way through my first pregnancy and didnt get it. I actually only gained 3kgs during my first pregnancy. I week after birth I was 97kgs, and one month later I was 87kgs. The birth was emergency c/s but nothing to do with my weight.

Even with my 2nd pregnancy (which I wasnt on low GI diet) I didnt watch what I ate, I did put on 10kgs, but lost it a week after birth, elective c/s due to my first emergency one.

Pre eclampsia runs in my family I didnt get it at all.

If you exercise daily (walking is best) and eat low GI you will lower any risk due to being overweight, totally recommend it, I showed them I did it!

Thinking of you
Bel
xxx

I remember the first time i saw the doc about preg. She weighed me and made a comment about only needing to put on 7kgs. I had a m/c and weight was never mentioned with her again.

My ob weighs at first appt and then he never weighed me again. I assume it goes by look of preg person as he always commented on how healthy i look. Never had any complications. No one ever asked how many kgs and they were gone when dd was discharged from hosp at 2wks old. Preterm birth had nothing to do with weight it was srom which seems to run in the family generally.

I relaise i am overweight well obese is more tech correct. But I am a size 14-16 most of the time. I don't eat too badly but i also don't have the full indicator in my brain. I have always been heavy even when skinny.

A health check when i was 6 wks preg bascially determined i was overweight but i passed all aspects of the test for hip/waist ratio, diabeties, blood pressure etc etc. So i am fat but healthy otherwise. My biggest prob is that I am short so i don't get much leeway on BMI. I am probably shorter than I my genes would usually dictate (i am shorter than my short mum and my dad's quite tall) because i had a poor diet at that cricial growing spurt stage in early teens due to family situation. My daughter looks to be above average height (dad's quite tall) and while she is only 2 she is in good shape being above average height & average weight so I hold out hope she won't have the same struggles.

OMG Bec what a bastard. i have a high BMI way over 40 with my first pregnancy i fell pregnant straight away and besides some High blood pressure had a healthy pregnancy and baby boy only put on 7 kg. after i had him though i put on 20kgs i then lost 15kg and 3yrs of trying went to see a gyn who prescribed me clomid to have my 2nd son - she didnt judge me for being large as she saw i had tried really hard to lose the weight ( i have PCOS and insulin resistant) i put on 10kgs no pregnancy problems. 2 yrs later i am now about to give birth to number 3 i fell pregnant 1st mth off pill after i had lost 16kg doing low gi diet still had a high BMI i have GD with this one but thats the only problem i have been lucky to have had nice doctors who dont make nasty comments i have also only out on 7kgs so far which is what i was told was good for my size.

so dont listen to what they say, if you feel healthy even though your not classed as the 'norm' then good on ya. not everyone fits in with the soo called DATA that doctors use to justify what they say to us larger people. i have less health problems than most thinner people i know.

i hope the rest of your pregnancy will be a joyful one and u can avoid seeing the fatphobic doctor.

take care

I too am apparently considered "overweight" and one of the obs I saw at the clinic had me in a mad panic not about gestational diabetes but full blown diabetes for myself, not to mention the whole high blood pressure thing he even had me down as a high risk pregnancy, I then saw a different ob a couple of weeks later who said I was perfectly fine and didn't have to see the obs anymore could just see the midwives as there is nothing wrong with me, I guess it depends on who you see if you have a choice I would demand a different one and maybe make a formal complaint cause that is just plain rude!!!!

I am technically obese. My ob has discussed my weight only so far as to calm my worries about something I read in the media that was negative (and scary) about obese women giving birth. She has asked me my weight a couple of times in my visits, but never made a big deal out of it. I've gained around 10 kg so far in my pregnancy (33 weeks).

I had my glucose tolerance test a little early, just in case (I also have borderline PCOS, so I was considered at a higher risk for GD), and my results were perfectly normal.

My blood pressure has been absolutely fine so far throughout my pregnancy. No sign of pre-eclampsia either, or any other problem at all.

I am quite physically active (decreasing now, admittedly), am still riding my bicycle around locally (I stopped riding it to work at about 24 weeks). I am walking lots and keep busy through the day. I eat well and am careful about my health in general. I haven't bothered with a low-GI diet, but generally eat sensibly.

I am sure that I have as good a chance as any other healthy woman of having a perfectly normal pregnancy and birth.

I think you should absolutely complain to the hospital about that doctor and request to never see him again and to not have him attend your birth. I am sure there is space in the system for this. Hospital systems are large and daunting, and like other large, daunting systems I think they are probably a lot more flexible than they look - it's a question of keeping on asking firmly until they give you what you want. I think that his attitude actually puts you and your baby at more risk and that this is worth getting "up in arms about".

Im sorry if this offends anyone but what a total w@&^@# of a doctor.

Look i am overweight and have been for both my pregnancy's, i have had two healthy babies and no problems at all. Yes we all know we are at higher risk carrying extra weight but if you remain active and eat properly during your pregnancy you should have nothing to worry about.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and show him how healthy and happy you are and your baby will be.

Grrr what a pompus (sp) pr*&^..

I was overweight when I fell pregnant. I was also 41 so apparently being old & fat put me at a higher risk of high BP, GD, PE & so many other complications.

I did not get high BP.

I did not get GD.

I did not get pre eclampsia (ate lots of chocolate to try to avoid it as I read you were less likely to get it if you ate a little choccy every day).

I had no complications whatsoever during the pregnancy.

I did however have a long & difficult labour which I have read can be a result of being overweight (also could've been because of my age).

My OB did not once mention that my weight put me or the bub at any risk of anything whatsoever.

Ubba, you're a cracker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bec, you're fine. I second what Ubba said. You know, "DH" doesn't always stand for "Dear Husband".

YOu know I don't know what my BMI is and frankly don't give a ***** either. PG#1 I was 135kg- I m/c and was told by the GP, who I went to for a referral for a d&c, what a lean diet I should be on before I consider conceiving again. Pg#2 I gained 6 kgs from day dot to 21 wks when we lost our little boy. NOTHING was mentioned about my weight as it was a cervical issue. PG#3 I was pg 8 wks after losing our boy and by 28 wks was in hossy for high b/p. The first hospital and Ob team were great but I had to be transferred to bris.
There I was treated like a f@*%n leper. One Ob who was trying to take bloods told me I was going to die and leave my baby without a mummy if I didn't lose weight and another told me I didn't deserve to be pg. I gave birth at 31 wks due to PE and all I heard about at that hossy was that it was my fault coz of my weight yet I was in a room with 3 other women with the same condition and they were tiny. My whole time there I met only 3 other big women with PE. My sis is the smaller than a stick and she got PE worse than me. My mum had PE and my gran had PE-you see where Im going with this!


Bec I hope you have an absolutely FABULOUS PG and if you get the chance shove it in his face if you have to see him again and you have no problems- Give him a big I told you so!!!!

Thank you so much girls, for sharing your stories... It means so much to me to know I am not alone and that I'm not not normal, IYKWIM?

Tiffanny - I can't believe they treated you so so badly. It breaks my heart that at a time when you need love, care and support, you get treated like s***. Obviously the PE was due to the family history. My OB asked about that and I said no - no one has had it before and my blood pressure and everything was perfect with my first born. He was still adamant that I was a prime candidate and that I was sure to get it just from being overweight.
I really am sorry you didn't get the care you deserved.

Again a big big thank you. Reading your stories puts me at so much ease that there is no way to put it into words... :redface: