boys & dancing

ok...
my ex-husband who ALWAYS said..our son was NOT doing dancing is now 'pushing' our son into dancing...
Our son i think has mixed feelings about this...i think at times he DOES want to do it..but at times DOESN'T want to...
i know i definatly don't want him dancing and have said this..both the ex-husband and to son.
What would you do????

thats a toughie seeing as though ur son doesnt know himself what he wants to do. do u think ur ex may be trying to influence him and he feels he has to dance because dad wants him to, and he doesnt want to upset dad?
IMO i wouldnt push my kids into anything, suggest things for them to do but if they didnt like it i wouldnt make them stick with it

Im with skybie - it would be easier if your son had a clear preference.
DS asks me to do dancing, but doesnt want to go if there are girls there! lol

I definitely dont agree with pushing him to go though, for any sport/activity not dancing specifically.

what sort of dancing?

you know in many slavic countries the men used to dance in order to keep fit enough to fight off the vikings....... its not a girly thing....

but i think ultimately it needs to be his decision. can you take him to some classes to watch, or some trial classes to see if he actually likes it?

My 8yr old boy wants to learn hip hop, so I found a boys only class for him only last week... he sat in and watched and came home sooo excited, so will be starting next term.
Take him to see a class and he can see for himself what he thinks.... ;)

I think it's possible that your DS is feeling a bit torn, to be honest Kat. If he knows that you don't want him to do dancing, and your exH is telling him that he does want him to do it, then perhaps he doesn't really know what he wants to do beyond wanting to please both parents.

Did the initiative for wanting to do dancing originally come from your son, or from your ex? This might tell you whether it is something he really wants to do or not.

If he is really keen, and the reason that you don't want him dancing is because of the perception of dance being a less appropriate activity for boys (rather than purely practical reasons like cost), then perhaps you might prefer something like the Tap Pups classes if they are in your area (these are the boys tap classes run by the Tap Dogs, and are very masculine). My old boss' son does them, along with soccer and rugby, and he loves it.

He has trialled it once (his older sister dances at the same place he trialled it at) and was going again yesturday but then didn't go...
there are 2 other boys in the class...
it is jazz he would be doing...
ex-husband told me on sunday when he picked the kids up..and i said i already knew..i think he could tell from the look on my face and my response i was NOT impressed..he said it was to help DS with his on field performance in league...me thinks it is an excuse to get DS out of the house whilst he spends time with his new fiance...

Kat- Can i be rude and ask why you dont want him to dance? :)

I don't know...i just don't...
and now it seems to be pushed on him by the one person who said "his son was NEVER going to dance"

So, it sounds like it not so much that you dont want him to do dancing, but you hav doubts about your ex's motives for encouragin him?

Is it Jazz or Jazz ballet? If its to do with helping his football, I'd have thought ballet would be a better idea.

hmmm i think let him go a few times and see if he still likes it ...

I know there is a stigma attached to it which I think that is what you are referring to (?) - but if he enjoys it - it is exercise, there are a couple of other boys in the class - not sure why you wouldnt want your son trying something he is interested in?

How else do we get the So You Think You Can Dance contestants?? :D

it is just jazz...
and you know what..he is quite good at it..ex-husband taped abit of DS dancing...picked it up after 15mins...
DS has already said he doesn't want any of his footy mates to find out as they will say stuff to him...
i worry about the after effect..

i honestly don't care (well i do) BUT if DS does want to (himself) dance and he isn't being pushed into it..then i don't care. BUT i won't push or let my ex-husband push him into it just because it gets him more time alone with his new fiance.

Yeah, I agree - that is a separate issue entirely Kat. How will you find out though? Is the class run at the same time as your daughters and does ex DH do a drop and run or does he stay???

If she is already his fiancee - surely she accepts the children come with the package and her and ex DH must spend time together at other times etc. Why would grabbing that hour be critical?

We will never know some people's motives hey. Just try and be supportive for your son and hopefully he will tell you himself if it is what he wants to do. :hug:

oh hun if that is why your ex is pushing him onto that is just so sad :dunno:

poor lil fella, why play on kids like that? my ex does the same, tears DD apart.

i guess the best thing then is to let him have a trial class - if he actually enjoys it (and you are there to see how he reacts when he first comes out of the class) then let him go. but if its dad's idea and on dad's time then dad can pay for it..........

hugs bella, its hard

Maybe your silly exH has worked out that the ladies love a man that can dance ;)?

I don't think that dancing is really the issue ;)

I think the problem is that you want one thing, XDH wants another, and your DS is somewhere in between - perhaps trying to please everyone?

I think both of you need to put your preferences aside and let your son make a decision without feeling pressure to do one or the other. THEN work out how you feel and where to go from there.

I don't know but I think there should be more male dancers :) If the boys didn't go to their dads every 2nd weekend I would have had them both in Jazz months ago :)

I recommend hiring the Billy Elliot DVD :)

If your DS wants to dance then I'd let him.

Having been a child who was pushed into the activities my parents wanted me to do (golf being one) I would NOT recommend it at all.