I just gave in and stuck a dummy on my baby's mouth

I know that people use dummys for their babies already but I really didnt want to use one for my own reasons and I do not mean to offend anyone who uses them.

Well tonight i tried everything...walked DD in the pram, then in the baby sling, put her on the boob, put her in the bath, walked around my entire house bouncing, singing, rocking 47 times (yes i counted!)....after trying all of the above, I went to the bottom drawer of DD's change table and right at the back I fished out the dummy that my mum had bought for DD "just in case"!

I put it on her mouth and she started sucking away on it..she's putting herself to sleep with it now.... :(

I am worried this is going to cause me more problems in the long run.

I dont know whether i need to just come to terms with this myself or need people to tell me its okay??

I just look at her and see this massive thing covering her face :(

:hug: Ali, I had no intention of using a dummy with my DD either, but some friends had put one in my baby shower present and I was using it before we left hospital. :redface: BUT, we had an obsessive sucker who had sucked blisters on her little hands in utero. With close supervision to make sure she was definitely not sucking for food (and when she would spit out the bb as she didn't want to comfort suck on that there was no harm in our introducing the dummy). She was also a very efficient bfer from the get-go (back at birthweight within four days).

Normally it isn't recommended for the first six weeks while a bfing relationship is being established, as it can be used to settle a baby when she is really hungry and needs to be fed. But some babies really do have a strong need to comfort suck.

FWIW we only used the dummy for sleeping and weaned her off it with barely any trouble when she was almost two.

We were the same and after all the crying and rocking and exhaustion, we put a dummy in DDs mouth at 2am when she was a couple of weeks old and said if it works, lets do it and we'll wean her off it later.

DD is now 15 months and loves her dummy (but only for sleeping) and now we are thinking about the weaning part.

:hug: it is ok to give in sometimes.
i use a dummy only for sleeping, plus bella will only take it when she is absolutely exhausted otherwise she just spits it out!
i am going to tell you that yes it is ok and you shouldnt feel bad!
but other people may have different opinions.
at the end of the day deep down YOU know what is best for YOUR baby ok hun xx

I used a dummy for 2 of mine. DD1 & DS. Both were comfort suckers & wouldn't settle without it. I never intended using one, but always had one JIC. DD1 went off hers by herself at 6 months, DS by himself at about 4 months.

DD2 had colic & I was recommended a dummy by my gp as sucking may help relieve the pain, but she refused it. It was heartbreaking having your baby screaming for hours & having nothing work. Out of desperation I even put glycerine on it to try getting her to take it, but she'd suck off the glycerine & keep screaming.

I know how hard it is to give a dummy, but be happy that you found something that worked :) You don't need to use it all the time. Only on the hard nights. You may never use it again!

Jen & Tinsel- Thank you for your posts. I am relieved to know that there are others like me who had no intentions of using a dummy but gave in as well. It is nice to know that your babies only used them for sleeping as well.

Jennifer- I was really concerned about the bf thing and how it may affect that but am hoping that because DD is such a good feeder (this child actually put on 350g in her first week rather than lost weight like most babies do) that it wont affect her. I think she just loves to comfort suck.

ETA- Laura and Bjrose- thankyou :hug: This being a mum thing is such hard work sometimes and it is a constant worry whether I am making the right decisions. Just want to do whatever is best for her and kind of felt like tonight I was doing what was best for me (I needed some peace and quiet!) :redface:

Just use it for sleeps like I do :) Ash has one and he only has it at bed time. As soon as he is up it's out of his mouth. When he was really little he used it more, now he doesn't really like it unless he is really tired and not feeding to sleep. I should add I used one for all my boys and they all fed fine. I think it's more until BF is established that they worry about it. I used one from the first day with all 3 though...

It's really ok Ali :)

Thanks for your support Missymoo. I just saw your little boys names was Ashton! We really liked that for a boy!

We ended up introducing the dummy during Sam's first week so he could have something to suck on during tube feeds - we wanted him to associate his belly getting full with him sucking... Completely different reasons, I know! But at first that's all it was... Then within a couple of weeks we found we couldn't get him to settle to sleep without the dummy. As much as we didn't want our child depending on a dummy, sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do in order to get some peace and quiet!

These days... Sam sometimes prefers to suck on his fingers. I've actually taken to removing his hand from his mouth and putting the dummy in (if it's bed time, usually we put a bottle in his mouth instead - it's often a sign that he's hungry!). I figure that it's going to be easier in the end to wean him off a dummy than off his fingers. You can always take a dummy away - it's a bit harder to take a hand away.

If you want to limit her time with the dummy - only use it for sleep time. If she spits it out, don't put it back in. Try to settle her without it, and only use it as a last resort.

:hug: I know it's hard when you find yourself doing things you swore you'd never do, but it's not the end of the world.

BW

Hi Ali

Don't feel bad sweety :comfort:

You know with our first I said I did not want to use a dummy, and I felt soo guilty too when we actually gave it to her. I caused myself such guilt over it as I thought I should be able to settle my baby, not a piece of plastic. But looking back now, I think the grief I caused myself was so silly!! Sometimes babies are hard to settle and if a dummy helps with that, then that's great! Babies need to be soothed when they are upset, and if sucking on a dummy satisfys them then that's great!..much better then having a crying, even screaming baby.
We weaned our DD when she was 6 months, just after she started solids (probably took 2 weeks, then she was completely over it). Now with our second bub, I really wish sometimes that he WOULD take a dummy but he just doesn't want it!

Trust me, a dummy is nothing so don't feel bad at all x

I didn't want to use a dummy for Pip, and when he had his tongue tie snipped the hospy gave him one to settle him after - and that started the dummy thing. You can get different styles of dummy, some are theoretically better for BFing than others if you look around. We liked the pigeon ones, but only used them when he wouldn't settle.

On the plus side, if she does take a dummy, then you can use the dummy medicine dispensers which are great for teething & high temps if you use panadol etc. Unfortunately once Pip hit 6 months he wouldn't take a dummy which left us having to use the syringe to squirt in the medicine ...

Good luck, and when you look back, using a dummy may pale into insignificance around other parenting decisions you make - good and bad!

All mine have had dummies and I must say they were a lifesaver! All b/f well and just needed the dummy as a comfort thing.
I have never regretted it cause none of them have a dummy now but one of DD2's friends in Yr4 still sucks her fingers like she did as a baby!!

With my lot the medicine dummy would be the perfect way to wean them off a dummy!!! Lol!

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none of them have a dummy now but one of DD2's friends in Yr4 still sucks her fingers like she did as a baby!!

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SO true. My mum always said to give the suckers a dummy because "you can throw away a dummy but you can't throw away a thumb"
My playfriend when I was little was still sucking her thumb all the time at 8 which of course led to teeth issues.
As soon as Ash stuck his fingers in to settle I stuck a dummy in ;)

awww ali dont feel bad, i didnt want to use one either but with a toddler needing attention sometimes i need to use it. only for sleeps and not all the time, not at night, seems she needs to suck more during the day

Ali - this time around I decided I wasn't going to use a dummy but like you I had tried everything to settle him but when that didn't work and with me close to tears we decided to try the dummy and like many before me he only takes it when he is really tired.

In the end babe it is YOUR decision to what your little one needs, no one else can help you make the decision but we can all point you in a direction that we think will help you make your way through the hard cross road!

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Jennifer- I was really concerned about the bf thing and how it may affect that but am hoping that because DD is such a good feeder (this child actually put on 350g in her first week rather than lost weight like most babies do) that it wont affect her. I think she just loves to comfort suck.

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Sounds like you're having no problems with the weight gain and she's obviously a very efficient feeder, so you're not going to do her any harm by using a dummy when she wants to suck (and your bb needs to be elsewhere!).

We were doubly careful as my DD was a tiny 2.5 kgs when born and was supposed to be on frequent bfs (m/w had a minor freak out when she the dummy until she watched her spit the bb out!). She also bf much less frequently than what we were expecting (never more than 6 times in 24 hrs, sleeping 6 hrs at a stretch very early on). She put on more than 200g a week and doubled her birth weight in 3 mths. I guess some babies who really enjoy comfort sucking are just very, very good at it!

(I looked into some of the future problems you can have with dummy use - interferes with speech development and affects teeth and jaw growth if used for extended periods of time and for too long age-wise and decided the best way to avoid that was to only ever use it for sleeping. It had the added bonus of then being her cue to sleep and I have no trouble ever getting her to sleep quickly.)

Oh Ali :hug: I don't know why these things make us feel so guilty. I have a dummy here too that was in a baby shower present. I have been so tempted at times and I think the only thing that has stopped me is that it looks like a cheap one and it looks too big for her. I really didn't want to use a dummy either and also my family is so against them!! They've asked me if we used one and I said no and they say 'phew, don't ever use one'. So if I ever do use one I'll probably feel doubly guilty :(

I went with the cheapest ugliest looking ones there are and thank goodness! No running around buying $7 dummies from obscure shops if one gets lost. If you stick with the cheap cherry shaped ones from chemists you can get them everywhere. And they won't be too big if your baby likes to suck.

There's no advantage to using the pricier ones if you're not overusing the dummy. Just make sure it isn't stuck against baby's face and leaves plenty of air circulating around it.

I read somewhere that using a dummy can lower the chances of SIDS. Has anyone heard of this?

Don't feel guilty about using a dummy. I was told when I was pregnant with DS that you can throw away a dummy, but you can't chop off fingers. My Mum sucked her thumb till she was 12 and has very crooked front teeth. My DS does loves his dummy for comfort, but he only has it when he's upset or going to bed.

Don't forget, sucking is a baby's natural way of comforting themselves. :hug:

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I read somewhere that using a dummy can lower the chances of SIDS. Has anyone heard of this?

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Yes, I've read that too. Can't remember where though.

Oh don't tell me that Jennifer, lol.

The whole reason I use Happy Baby dummies is because they are cheap. The hundreds of dummies that get lost... it's not even funny. I lost 2 in one day the other day in town! One had a dummy clip on it lmao!

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Oh don't tell me that Jennifer, lol.

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I know, my Mum hated them too! ;) But the Happy Baby ones are the cheapest and easiest to find, missymoo is right.

Don't feel bad Ali :hug:

We used to use a dummy as a bit of a last resort with Cameron to settle him, usually just to sleep. But after he'd fall asleep he'd spit it out and not need it. After about 2months, he decided he just wasn't interested in it anymore and thankfully for us we too didn't need to rely on it either.

So I'm just wondering if maybe you just keep it as a just in case - not an all the time thing, after a while she may end up not needing it afterall. But if it helps her settle and therefore helps you, don't feel bad about it - at that point I think you just go with whatever works for you's.

:hug: Ali you didn't just give in and give it to her, as you said you tried everything and as a last resort it worked. You followed your mummy instincts that is a good thing.
I am not a fan of dummies either and more then once in desperation I tried DS on them but he just wouldn't take it, sometimes I think it would have been easier as there were times when he was attached to me all the time.

You doing what's right for you and your DD, keep that in mind.

I had every intention of never using a dummy for my babies..ha ha!!

Both my girls were very sucky bubs and I caved and used a dummy. DD2 got the dummy at 24 hours old:(

I have that dummies reduce SIDS too!!! And I agree you can chuck out a dummy but you can't cut off a finger.

By introducing a dummy I was fully aware that one day we would have to take it away. DD1 was weaned off by 18 months and we had one month of hell but after that she never wanted one again. DD2 is 16 months and only has hers at night time and we'll wean her soon, I am just waiting for the teething to finish.

Hugs sweets there are heaps of pooh pooh things that us mums do and feel guilty about but in the end you need to do what is right for you and your baby

I love using dummies :)

DD had one that she only used for naps and sleeping ... she NEVER when into town with me sucking on her dummy. She knew that the dummy were only for naps. She weaned herself off it after she had a sore in her mouth .. told me the dummy hurt her and after the sore was healed, everytime she asked me for it (I think it was about 5 times) I just told her that the dummy hurts.

Now ds has a dummy that he is not really fond about. He will use it get to sleep, but spit it out as soon as he has drifted off. Even DD is not interested in his dummy.

So :hug: hun, you did what you had too and even though it's something that you think were wrong, it does not make you a bad mommy.

ali ihave to admit i feel 'wrong' about giving DD a dummy, she loves to suck, has sucked her hands from the moment she was born, but i dont want another thumb sucker due to dental issues that caused DD1, though i loved the convenice of the thumb, i find that DD2 needs the dummy for sleeps now as she fights been wrapped and wont settle, yet shes not ready not to be wrapped, so dummy it is. :(

Sorry to invade your thread (I dont have a baby... yet)

When I was a baby I never had a dummy because I always spat it out. Instead I prefered to suck my thumb which led to an addiction of sorts and I did it until I was almost 15. It was embarrasing and friends, peers (only did it at primary school, as I got older I limited it to at home) and family members were always teasing me about it trying to get me to stop. I did want to stop but I found myself doing it without even realising.

I definately think that a dummy, as long as it's not overused, would be better.

Obviously I dont know your reasons for not wanting to use it but trust your instincts. You know what is best for your baby and lots of children use them. They cant be that bad.

I personally think that if they are called for, dummies are a good thing!
I had one as a child, my sister didnt. My sister is now 22 ans STILL sucks her thumb! she hates it, and makes a huge effort not to, but she will do it unconsciously in her sleep.
My daughter had a dummy, cos she had a lot of trouble going to sleep. She only ever used it for sleeping, and she was very attached to it. she is now 3, and only recently did i manage to get it away from her. She loves posting letters, so i told her that the new babies at the hospital needed dummies, so we could post her dummy to the new babies and share, cos that would be nice of her. She did it, and very little whinging resulted in it.
the moral of the story is that a dummy can be ridded of, fingers cant. I know plenty of people that still suck some part of their hands, but i dont know anyone that has grown up sucking a dummy.
The biggest risks with dummies are that they can cause ear infections if babies suck on them too often, but the same thing happens with thumbs and fingers.....and if they need to suck, they will find something to suck on. the other issue is the rotting of teeth, epsecially if you put a sweet substance on it. I think you wouyld have to be pretty desperate to do that nowadays tho, given that its so widely know to be a bad idea.
So please dont feel bad.
I know its more the "i swore id never do it, and here i am breaking promises to myself", but i think everyone does that at some point. Hell, i licked a tissue the other day and started scrubbing at my DD's face with it. i thought "what the hell am i dooing? the thought of this used to horrify me". You do what you can to get through.

Ali, having said I would never use a dummy I have also given in to itwhen DD2 won't settle - I need to give my nipples a break as she will comfort suck for hours some nights! She won't keep it in by herself but I have sat here holding it in her mouth with my finger so she won't spit it out..... but it has been a godsend the few times I have really needed it.

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I read somewhere that using a dummy can lower the chances of SIDS. Has anyone heard of this?

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There is some research to support that a dummy may reduce the risk of SIDS but the official position of SIDS and Kids is no recommedation either way until further research is undertaken.

Here is a link if you are interested: http://www.sidsandkids.org/documents...nStatement.pdf

I used dummies with both of my babies. I think it is a personal choice, you have to do whatever you feel comfortable with. It won't harm your baby, there may be some other implications though I never found it impacted feeding and I haven't had big issues with dummy reliance and attachment.

I was trying not to use the dummy at the start because I had bf issues but when you have a baby with colic you try anything. You could actually see her little body relax. Now she can't fall asleep without it but I figure at this age I don't care as long as she is happy and healthy :)