Begining to stress about the results

I knew when I had learned that bub had died that I wanted more answers. I wanted genetic testing to rule out any chromosomal defects and also to know bubs gender. Well after I gave birth we discovered bub was a boy and I would be totally shocked if the genetics told me any different.

Knowing that bub is a boy is very stressful! When I learned that bub had died I hope he was a girl... not because I would miss him less or love him less, but because I have this underlying fear that I just can't carry boys. Now this fear is a huge paranoia and I can't shake it :(

My brother (I have 3 older sisters and a younger brother) was born with a very mild case of spina bifida (a neural tube defect). When I had my first u/s at the hospital the ob pointed out that the bones in Banjo's skull had not joined properly at the back. She noted that it could be due to baby collapsing also. She noted "??encephalacele??" on the u/s request form (for if I didn't m/c)... this also is a neural tube defect. I was taking folate to help prevent any thing like this.

The Ob told me that the results for the testing (if they get the cells to grow) would take about 6 weeks... I hope I can wait that long.

Has anyone else opt for genetic testing after m/c? How long did the results take to come back?

Thanx

Oh sweetie... I am so sorry you're going through this.

Unfortunately for me they couldn't get any cells to grow for genetic testing and the autopsy results only showed what we already knew about Noah.

We did opt for genetic counselling and got a referral for it, but ended up falling pregnant with Harrison before we could make the appointment.

I will keep my fingers crossed that you will get the answers you need, and that what happened with Banjo was unfortunate, but a one off thing, like I was told was what happened to Noah.
Huge, squishy hugs sweetie :hug:

Oh hun the waiting is the hardest part. We already knew from our amnio that Emmanuel had Trisomy 13 so didn't need genetic testing but we saw a genetic counsellor who reassured us that it was highly unlikely we would have another baby with Trisomy 13 and we went on to have a healthy girl. I really feel for you the unknown is just awful. I hope you receive your answers soon and can be reassured. All the best.

Regards,
Dianne

Tanya... :comfort: Wish I could hug you and hold you in person. I understand very well how you feel - it sucks and it's bloody hard... :hug:

Firstly it takes 4-6 weeks to grow these results - nothing can accelerate this - it is all done in a petrie dish and it takes time. Unfortunately if nothing grows then it will be inconclusive.

I need to say that it is highly highly unlikely that this has happened becuase you can't carry boys. There is a very very rare condition that can cause this - so rare that even me with my photographic memory can't remember the name of it! :redface: It's rare. I know that colloquially we hear of Great Aunt Edna not being able to have boys etc etc. But medically I know this not to be the case usually. It's not that simple.

I know that Banjo's pregnancy was a surprise. Were you on folate prior to conception? If so what doseage? You have had multiple pregnancies which utilise a significant amount of your folate stores. Folate is required prior to conception to be most effective - this is why all women of reproductive age are advised to take it all the time. So it's possible that you did not have that cover. Neural Tube Defects are preventable around 92% of the time with folate consumption prior to conception. Sometimes there is an interruption to the development very early on and this can cause a NTD.

I know this is going to sound empty and not helpful - but sometimes there is just no reason. Without knowing the whole story - it sounds like Banjo may have had ancephaly which is incompatable with life. This happens and it would not matter if he was a little boy or a little girl. It just tragically happens.

I recommend that you begin on megafol wich is 5mgs of folate - this needs to be taken with b12. Spirulina and some floradix would also be highly recommended. Your body has been through a lot and needs to be nurtured inside and out.

I was unable to have genetic testing on my little boy - he too was clearly a little boy but they couldn't grow any cells. We did know that both my daughters were genetically fine.

Neural Tube Defects will not show up on the chromosomal analysis. So this is something that you may never know...

Just know you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers... :hug:

Deb, I think at the moment you are my guardian angel!

I was taking fotate... it was included in an iron sup I was taking... it possibly wasn't enough though... not sure what the dosage was. As soon as it sunk in that I was going to have another baby I went and got a real folate sup, which like you say may have been too late.

I have a Dr appointment tomorrow, I will discuss all of this then...

xx

Will be thinking of you during these hard weeks. Hopefully the results will help with your greiving and give you and your DH some answers.

Well, the dr appointment was this arvo and all the tests I had done were normal... I didn't know that I had had Parvo!! Wato said it was lucky I wasn't having pups!! LOL.. I thought I would have had toxoplasmosis, but apparently not.

Anyway, the placenta didn't grow any cells, so we are waiting on the amnio cells... please let one grow!! Just one to put my mind at ease!!

Dr was great, he listened to everything I said, didn't judge or say anything insensitive....

Anyway, I will call him in a few weeks to see if they have any more news for me...

Fingers crossed!!

:hug:

Tanya,

I hope you get some answers soon !

Take care
xxoo

That is a shame that the placenta didn't grow cells. I hope the amnio is able to provide some answers.

You are never far from my thoughts

xox

Keeping my fingers tightly crossed that you get some results Tanya.
Thinking of you :hug:

I really hope you get the answers you need Tanya, you've been in my thoughts a lot...

Good luck Tanya with getting more answers ...and I hope you continue to heal bit by bit each day. thinking of you

Tanya, I hope you get some answers from the test. I have been thinking about you often. :hug:

I think the results are back.... waiting for the Dr to call me... nervous as all hell!!

Thinking of you Tanya :hug:. Waiting can be worse than knowing so I hope you can set your mind at ease very soon.
xx

46XY....
I am happy :D

Oh that's good Tan! xo

means what??

No chromosomal defects... and he was a boy

:hug::hug:

i'm so sorry, this must be so hard for you. thinking of you xx

I'm glad you got good results back today Tanya :hug:. I've been thinking of you.

I hope having the results brings you a little more peace.

:

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:hug::hug:

i'm so sorry, this must be so hard for you. thinking of you xx

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Yeah, it is now I am starting to wonder what I did!! *sigh* but I am relieved that I may one day have a healthy boy....

it is good news. Im happy for u xox heres hoping one day you will have your "forever" baby boy.

huge hugs xoxox

Tanya, I am in mixed emotions of the results... as you will likely be also :hug: - on one hand it is great to hear that there were no chromosomal defects in your dear boy - but on the other hand I know that not really having a 'reason' will leave you to question what you did (as you said in your post).

Please do not turn yourself inside out - I am sure you did nothing wrong! But Banjo made you investigate your feeling of not being able to carry boys and hopefully these results have you one step closer to meeting your forever baby boy.

Loads and loads of hugs for you and your family :hug:

tk
xox

:hug: I am so glad that you got results and that they were good. I know it still leaves you with questions, but I am sure that you will find some peace from the ones you have.

You know deep down that this was nothing you did. Try to keep that in mind and don't be too hard on yourself ;)

Thinking of you hun :hug:

Oh hun, you need to stop those kind of thoughts right now, you know yourself it will do your head in. But the best thing is that you know it wasn't because of his gender and that one day you could have another little boy :hug:

Hugs hun, it`s great you received your answers without any bad news but on the other hand I`m sure your thoughts are on 'what happened' which is only natural to be thinking this way.

Thinking of you Tanya and I`m sure one day soon Banjo will send his little brother to you :hug:

Take Care of yourself xx

Thinking of you hun, i understand your thoughts, but remember it was nothing you did so please be easy on yourself.

Huge Hugs

xoxo

Tan
Do I have to come down there and put you over my knee. Do NOT beat yourself up over this.

It is going to take time to work through this, but please be good to you, ok.

<3 S