How many people are allowed in the birthing suite?

I wasn't sure where else to post this, but as this has already started to become an issue amongst our family and friends I thought I'd ask the lovely ladies of BB so I can get some peace and quiet finally. :D

About 30 people have put their hand up as 'needing' to be in there when I'm giving birth. Obviously this is unreasonable - and unwanted on my part lol - but is there a general number of family/friends allowed in?

I have my appointment with the Royal Women's on Monday and I know I'll be able to ask then but as this issue has seriously started to do my head in with the constant phone calls, texts, emails and all-around 'hints', I'm hoping I can get a rough idea sooner.

Thanks in advance everyone!
Shari xo

I had both my girls at the public hospital up here, and there was no limit on the amount of people that were allowed in. It was entirely my decision who was there. With Nina, I had 4 people there, 8 at one stage, and with Emily there were 3 people there.

this is such a great questions and its funny how ppl ask so early i had someone say at like 5-6 weeks lol and they had to cut the cord like wtf im like yeah ok whatever lmao

i think it depends on the place so good idea to ask i s'pose different places have different sized labour rooms and stuff im wanting about 3 ppl but last time i had one only just make it before ds flew out while i blinked so heres hoping

You could ask them why they want to see your vagina - that'd scare a few off from asking I'd reckon. :p I beleive there would be a limit set by the hospital, but it'd probably be higher than I'd be comfortable with (which is 2 people) and you can set your own limit and the midwives won't let people in if you don't want them there.

Our hospital has no limit as such, but I'm sure there is a point where it becomes unreasonable...yeah, 30 sounds unreasonable to me! LOL.

I've only ever had DH and my mum there until the birth, then the PIL to visit a few hours later and we've still been in the delivery suite then.

I had 6 people in the room with me when I was in labour with DS1, but only had 1 in there when I gave birth to him.

For me it is definitely the less the better... I felt really on show and uncomfortable having so many people in there with me, even though they're people I love and wanted there anyway... I guess once everything was happening, I just wanted to be basically left alone. With my last labour (DS2) I had my DH, my DS1 & DD present and that was more than enough for me :)

I work at 2 Melbourne hospitals and 2 is maximum in room for actual birth and in early labour you can sometimes get a 3rd but once things start progressing they like there to only be 2 support people.

Main reason is rooms are small and lots of things come in and out of room and in am emergency they need maximum space.

Other reason is woman end up with too much advice and feel smothered.

Also very personal and private showing vagina to family and friends

It depends on the hospital - the hospital that my older 2 were born in had a limit of 2 plus a Student MW or doula for VBs. I have a Student MW this time and had one with DD2. I liked having a student so much that I would recommend it to anyone.

For #3 DH and the student MW will be in surgery with me, plus however many medical staff are needed and possibly a few student obs, considering it is a teaching hospital.

I gave birth in a Melbourne hospital & had 4 people in there with me at some parts of the labour - even quite late on. Right before they vacced him out I had 4 there. They cleared the room for the birth though - it was just my partner & I. They would have allowed others but my parents left the room & then the middy asked if I wanted my MIL to leave (she came up close & whispered it) and then she got her out quick smart.

yeah i had my grandma at my dd birth and i remember at one point looking up when they were breaking the waters and my legs were well very spread and shes right in prime veiwing position same as when she was born...kinda weird lol but i would like dh and mum there if possible and hopefully a student midwife

See, ideally I'd like 4: my DF, MIL-to-be (only 5 wks away!!), and my 2 best friends. But as I'm in Melb, based on Feeb's advice I may be only allowed 2 which would knock the 2 friends out I guess. I just don't get why SO many people in his family as well as good (not great) friends want to be in there.

This is the only time in my life where it's actually easier that both of my parents are no longer alive and I have no siblings. If they were, my gosh I'd be literally fricked. :doh:

OMG! I feel for you hon! Really, why do so many of your friends and family feel the need to be there?! What a position they're putting you in!

If I was you, I'd simply tell them all that it's a personal and special moment you want to experience with your partner and you will only be taking a max of 2 extra family members / friends for support. I honestly think your contractions would stop in the tracks and your vajuts would shut up shop if it had that many people looking at it!

I would imagine 2 or 3 people with you would be the norm. I'm taking in my DH and sister and hopefully a close friend who is a trainee midwife but that's it. I already know all I want is supportive people (for both me and DH!) and as less distraction as possible so I can listen to my body and get on with the job.

Good luck with letting everyone down - you poor love!!

When I had DS I only had Dh in the room with me but the waiting room outside was full to the brim - we had already said that no-one was to come in but according to the midwives comments it was getting pretty teste out there and sent Dh out to reason with them. Luckily I had a short labour.

After the birth (about and hour) they let them all in - two at a time. I hadn't even gotten out of bed yet and there was still blood everywhere and my little brother fainted (13 at the time - certainly put him off DTD for a while) In hindsight I would have rathered wait until I was on my feet before letting everyone in.

With Dd we were 1000km from family so it was much more relaxed :-)

Before I got pregnant I always thought I would want to have a million people in there as it is a beautiful thing. Then I got pregnant, and as I near closer I think 2 will be enough. Probably my mom and DF. It is just more of a special thing now and I want only the select few to share in those first few beautiful moments when she is born. Plus the fact my vagina will be on display is another reason to reconsider. :)

At my Hospital only 2 people are allowed.

i had my mum, dad and dp with me. mum & dp holding one hand each, and dad standing sorta behind mum, but back a bit. he was on stand by with the camera & video camera!
there was also 2 midwives, and my OB and a training OB.. so it was pretty crowded!

Bloomin Roses - I think you need to think about what you want and what your DF wants for when you are in labour and when you give birth. Lots of people want lots of things when there are babies involved, but it becomes a bit of an art to work out what you think and DF thinks is best for you and your baby.

People should be invited to attend the l & b not invite themselves. It is fine if you want to have them there - it's your birth, you should do what you feel comfortable with - but you have the opportunity to express that to them, not the other way around.

Also remember that how you feel now maybe very different to how you will feel when you are in labour. Maybe have a chat to the people you want to invite to be there and tell them that you are going to play it by ear on the day and if you change your mind, it is nothing personal.

In the Townsville Hospital (public) I was only allowed 2 support people and no children (just in case anyone was interested :))

I hope it all works out the way you want it to :)

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Also remember that how you feel now maybe very different to how you will feel when you are in labour. Maybe have a chat to the people you want to invite to be there and tell them that you are going to play it by ear on the day and if you change your mind, it is nothing personal.

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This is excellent advice and exactly what I'm going to do!

I always feel kind of stuck because I feel one part of me should be extremely grateful (which I completely am) that for a girl who has no living immediate family and is on the other side of the Earth from her extended family and childhood friends, I have this whole other family, plus friends, who care enough to want to share in this with me. However this always makes it difficult for me to say things that I know are going to be perceived as hurtful to some and I end up just going with the flow at times for fear of rocking the boat.

But since I seem to have absolutely no problem asserting myself in either my relationship with DF or my professional life, I'm at a loss as to why I have such trouble now. It boggles my mind to tell you the truth.

I'm going to follow this advice - and I think if anyone gets offended by this, well then there's really nothing else I can do. Four people is quite a lot - and although Snowy Love's comment about their motives for looking at my vagina was tongue in cheek, I'm going to use it should anyone arc up once I tell them I'm going to play it by ear.

Thank you so much everyone! I'm still amazed that the answers varied so much from 2 people allowed to however many you desire. I wonder if that's a public vs a private thing or based solely on the hospital's preference? (If that's a stupid question, please forgive me as I honestly don't have a frickin clue!!!)

S xo

At my hospital we're only allowed two in the delivery suite. at this point in time I'm only having DH, but I'm seriously thinking of asking my Mum to come with me. I think she could be a bit of a calming influence for DH if he freaks out about how much pain I'm in. Anyway's the hossy also has a policy about family waiting round till the birth. They are not allowed to hang round, but have to wait till visiting hours to come and see Peanut. This is killing my parents as they really want to be there to meet their first grandchild as soon as they can. but unfortunately not much I can do about the whole hospital policy.

Townsville Hospital is the same with family not being allowed to wait around. Birth suite has a tiny waiting room and it is meant to be a place that support people can go to heat up food for themselves, get ice or just have a bit of time out so they don't want people in there waiting.

As frustrating as it is for people not to be allowed to wait, labour can be quite long so they will probably more comfortable waiting for a call from home. It also gives you and your DH some time alone with your baby, and you the opportunity to have a shower before you have visitors.

Townsville Hospital did allow some visitors up in birth suite after the birth when the mum is ready for them. Tara, if you parents don't want to wait till visiting hours, and you are happy to have them up for a visit, they may be allowed up to birth suite to see the baby after everything is over. Might be worth asking the hospital about it.

People can "need" to be there all they like... but it isn't about them, it's about you and your partner and your baby.

Childbearing and birth and parenting often bring issues like this to the surface - how you set boundaries, how you allow people to dictate to you. You say this is an ongoing problem for you and they sound like wonderful people who smother you a little bit - I think it might be worth getting some counseling from someone who can help you work through why you find it so hard to say no to people who love you. You deserve to be able to do that at these important times in your life - and if you don't start now, trust me, it will only get worse.

My sister said something to me the other week that really resonated with me: "We teach people how to treat us". That is so true. But it's quite freeing, because once we accept that, we accept that we have a choice to teach them something different!

On a more practical level, I had my sister and my daughter at my 5th delivery, and while it was wonderful for me, my dh felt a bit marginalised. The hospital made the decision for us in that there were limits put on how many were allowed in, and dh was happy and that made me happy. In the end, the room was too small for anyone else anyway. I'd have felt crowded had there been anyone else in there, particularly at the delivery when there were two obstetricians, a student, two midwives, dh and me in there!

I wouldn't be beyond giving the odd little white lie and telling rellies and friends that "the hospital's policy says only this many".

30 people! Good grief it's a birth, not a footy match! :lol:

I've worked in quite a few birth suites around the place and for the most part the maximum number allowed in addition to the mother is 2, or sometimes 3.

Any more than that, and it starts to get cramped. There is really no benefit to you either having more than 2 or three people and it is all about *you* and your needs. This is an intensely private and intimate experience, not a spectator sport.

You should only allow the people who you really want to be there - allowing anyone else will make you uncomfortable and that can seriously hinder your labour. YOu don't need to give them an excuse, it's too important. Just tell them no thanks.

Oh and something else I just thought of ;)

Sometimes I have clients who are agonising over this same issue and wondering who to have with them - my advice is to ask themselves if they would be OK with this person walking in on them having sex.

If the answer is no, then don't bring them into the birth space.

Who ever is in the birth with you is going to see you in a very vulnerable position, making lots of noise, probably naked, with fluids leaking, and the state of your vagina and cervix being a frequent topic of public discussion and speculation. (It sounds crass but unfortunately that's the reality of hospital birth). You have to be comfortable with that and their feelings don't really come into it ;)

this is a great thread!!

with the birth of DD i wanted to have my mum and DH there. in the end DD arrived early and fast so only DH made it (and only just!). in all honesty i felt that only having DH there was a bit lonely and also a big responsibility on him to guide me through the whole thing (we had rather inattentive birth staff).

for any future birth, i will want to have DH, mum (or a good friend) and a doula.

ours was a private hospital and they had very firm limits of 2 support people and no waiting area...

HTH