Should I persist??

I'm a bit conflicted about what to do and thought if I wrote it down it might help me but also I could get some good advice or at least some support.

DD does not sleep very well in the day in her basinette. I have to rock her to sleep and then when she's sound asleep I can put her down but she will always wake up after exactly 30mins!! It's totally different at night. She will feed to sleep or sometimes she will even just be sleepy and I can put her in the basinette and she just goes off to sleep (amazing!). Then when she wakes during the night she is still half asleep and I feed her and she just goes back to sleep, great!! But she can't do this during the day, she will wake up after 30mins and I can't get her back to sleep. Why is it different during the day?

I have a HAB and she will sleep in that during the day. She usually has all her day sleeps in it and I can get her to sleep usually 1.5hrs sometimes 2hrs or more!! But then I have days like 2 days ago where I get cranky and think why on earth can't she just sleep in the basinette, she should be able to! And I try and make her sleep in it all day which ends up with her only having 3 x 30min sleeps a day!! When I do this she's not happy when she's awake coz she's too tired :( she's just cranky and cries more. When she sleeps in the HAB all day she's happy and smiley and never cries. And I'm happier because I'm not having to put up with a cranky baby and getting frustrated coz I can't make her sleep longer.

So I think I've answered my own question now. We're both happier when she has her sleeps in the HAB. But I still have all these thoughts......... she should be able to sleep in the basinette.....I'll have to carry her around forever........will she ever learn to self-settle......maybe I should persist with the bassinette.

And then you have other people like family making comments making you think you're 'spoiling' her.

So should I persist with the basinette and teach her how to sleep in there??
Why can't she anyway?? What's different about day time??
Why does she always wake after 30mins?? Even in the HAB she gets restless at 30 mins but bc she's on me I'm able to quickly rock her so she goes back to sleep. Is it just a phase?? It's only been the last week or 2, she seemed to sleep a lot more heavily before that.

Thanks for listening!!!!!!! Sorry it's so long!!!!

Same thing happens here. Sleeps perfectly during the night but during the day will only sleep on me! I've just been going with it because it works and I enjoy the cuddles/closeness. I wouldn't listen to others, if you are happy with the situation then I don't see the problem :hug:

ETA: Sorry, don't have any advice about getting her to sleep in the bassinet for day sleeps, still haven't worked that out myself -- she will sleep in the pram (if I am pushing it) or in the car, though.

Same situation here hun - except I think Blue has spent about 2hours total in the bassinette since he was born....LOL

My situation is almost identical to yours.... when I put him to sleep on the couch with a v pillow around him he'll sleep for max 45 mins on a good day - but if I wear him in the HAB I'll sometimes get 2 hours....
He's the same as your DD at night too....

My MCHN was HORRIFIED when she found out about Blue's day sleeps but I just figure that if he's happy and relaxed I will be too (works well in theory)

I reckon whatever works for you is the best thing!!!

Your doing a great job xoxox

Hang in there! It will get better, I promise!
My advice is - do what works now, dont worry about "getting into bad habits" or what she "should" be doing... (unless its really bothering you, of course)
As she becomes more active youll probably find she will sleep better in the day - well thats what both mine did anyway!
Youre doing a great job! :)

Having her sleep is the HAB is only a problem if you've got a problem with, don't listen to everyone else! ;) She has been sleeping in your belly for so long, thats all she knows...but it does get better! You're doing a great job!!

She wakes after 30 mins because that's her sleep cycle and she doesn't know how to put herself back to sleep.

It's totally up to you whether you persist with trying to resettle her in the bassinette when she wakes after her first sleep cycle (ie 30 mins) or you'd just prefer her to sleep in the HAB.

Most babies go through a stage of waking after one sleep cycle. Both of mine did (only duirng the day too thank goodness!) and I persisted with the resettling because that's what I prefered (although it did my head in at the time). Eventually they both learned to resettle themselves after they woke, so for me, it was worth it.

Good luck!!

It seems we have similar children, feeding and sleepwise.
DS1 slept fine in his bassinette until he was about 1 month old, then would only sleep for about 30 mins at a time during the day, but very well at night. DS2 looks like he is going to be a bit the same. The MHCN said with DS1 that as long as 1 of his daytime sleeps was a longer one, and he was sleeping well at night, then it was fine.
Carrying him always got him to sleep longer, but I found that the vibrating bouncer usually did too. Maybe an option if you want some time of your own. Also If I was having a daytime nap I would have him sleep with me and then I could just rock him a little when he stirred and he would go back to sleep.
I have read that it is a good idea to have babies sleep somewhere other than their bassinette during the day so that for them the bassinette becomes associated with longer night time sleeping. I don't know how true that is, but it would certainly mean that you aren't being a bad mum by not having your baby in their usual bed.

Don't worry... if you are happy carrying bubs then that is all that matters. Before you know it DD will be all grown up and not needing so many daytime sleeps anyway. Enjoy the closeness while you can.

Thanks guys. Went to the MCHN today and she was telling me to put her down asleep etc. This won't work, she will just literally stay awake all day!! She seems to have so much trouble getting to sleep, and fights it.

It's hard to know what I want to do, some days I don't care about carrying her around all day but then I would also like her to know how to sleep in the basinette. But when I try and make her she just gets over tired and cranky and is not her usual happy self so then I feel like a bad mummy coz she's not happy. Usually she doesn't really cry, she's pretty happy.

I think I just don't have enough patience, I just get so frustrated trying to teach her to sleep in the basinette and then I give up. Maybe I'll wait for a time when DH has a few days off work and he can help me teach her. I think I might go crazy trying to do it on my own!

Relax, hun, she's only 10 weeks old! If she sleeps better in the HAB and you are happy to use it, then do so. She gets a lot of comfort from being close to you, and who can blame her? Only a little while ago you held and carried her 24 hrs a day, now it's down to maybe 5! The fact she is so settled at night time should prove to you that you are not forming any 'bad habits', it's just when it's day time she wants your closeness and security.

Babies tend to draw confidence from the increased security when they are little and you will probably find as she gets older she will be more than happy to sleep in her bassinette. :hug:

Hi Heaven...I could have written your post when DD was 10 weeks old.

I too had a battle in my head between what to do. I used to say "nothing works" because I seemed to be fighting a loosing battle with her sleep. I used to say to DH "I spent the whole day trying to get her to sleep".

I think you need to ask yourself if it bothers you she only sleeps for 30mins? Is she happy when she wakes up? Are you coping?

It is really hard not to get swayed by the "should" brigade. She "should" be going down awake, she "should" be able to resettle etc.

Ask yourself. What do YOU want? If you want her to go down awake and resettle, then there is help. I sought assistance from a lovely mentor here in Melb who taught me all about self settling (and not the MCHN way). That's the technique I have been sharing, but its tough to do it alone.
Sometimes having someone come to you and talk it through helps you make up your mind. i found once I made the decision, a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders and there was direction at last.

Where are you based?

Jennifer- thank you :) I have to spread the love, but our post made me feel better about what I'm doing atm so thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey anna, I just read your post in Dee's thread!! Great info.
When she only sleeps 30mins and wakes up she's not as happy :( she's just grumpy and cries more and isn't her usual smiley self. I'm coping fine when I use the HAB because it's easy to get her to sleep and she sleeps for ages. It's the days when I am over carrying her around and trying to make her sleep in the basinette that I get really frustrated. I really would like her to self-settle and sleep on her own bc it would be so much easier and I could get things done!! But I feel bad when I try bc she's unhappy and doesn't get enough sleep!
I haven't worked out how to settle her in the basinette well, I've tried before and she just gets distressed and I have to pick her up and then she cries as soon as I put her back down again. I feel like if I don't put her in the HAB she just won't sleep all day!! lol. She doesn't get that it's sleep time! Hmm.......I think I need to try harder but I'm going to have to do it when DH is home coz I get so frustrated!! I will need his help! Do you reckon a weekend would be long enough to get over the hardest part??
I'm in Brisbane.

double post

First, even if you just use the HAB for as now and just follow your baby's cues, she will eventually get the hang of sleeping elsewhere.
Second, the only 'habit' that you're forming right now is being happy and sleeping.
Third, do you have a copy of the no-cry sleep solution? she has excellent advice for transitioning from sleeping in arms to bassinet/cot, if you want to do that.

It will get better and there'll be plenty of time later for getting all those things done. before you know it she'll be mobile and spreading crumbs from one end of the house to other and you'll realise there's no point cleaning anymore anyway:lol:

Hi Heaven. Its awful to hear your baby cry I know.

When you're trying to find a way to soothe her in the bassinet, maybe try and get as close as possible, so hold her hands and press your cheek to hers, and then rock the whole bassinet as you hold her, so she is nice and close and has some motion (like the HAB). If that works, try and do that for a few days for her to get used to...so basically rock her to sleep.

Then on a weekend (maybe next weekend?) get DH to come into the room with you and be there as you try and get her to self settle.
HTH

Just a reminder that this is a No Cry, Comforted Sleep Solutions thread. It is not appropriate to post advice that suggests you should allow your baby to continue to cry.

Any further posts that suggests methods that encourage this will be removed and the poster infracted.

Thanks marcellus. No, I don't have that book, I think I'll get it. Because I don't want to let her cry. I don't mind letting her whinge a bit coz that's what she does when I'm holding her and she's trying to get to sleep anyway. But for some reason when I'm not holding her she just can not go to sleep yet, even if I'm with her, the whinging just escalates to full on screaming :( Maybe she's just not ready, hmm.......

anna- thanks for that suggestion for soothing her in the basinette, I will try it. It's really hard though, she seems to work out I'm trying to put her to sleep and then just starts crying, lol, cheeky girl. Maybe it is that she's just not ready yet and isn't able to calm herself without being held. I might try again in a couple of weeks. I don't really have time to be consistent before then anyway bc we are going to be away for half of next week for her christening.

Take your time hun. There's no rush.

Someone said to me when I was having sleep troubles to try and focus on the awake time. It feels so much nicer to think about all the smiles and fun rather than the sleep. You'll get there in the end, and in the meantime there's always the HAB!

DD did exactly the same!! slept in her sling for most day sleeps for the first 2 1/2 months, only started putting her in the bassinett for her day sleeps cause i got terrible mastitus (from her sleeping on my boobs i think!!) and couldnt stand the pain to have her in the sling, it killed me cause she wasnt happy but by the time the mastitus was better she was sleeping ok in the cot! so i say just stick with it! people would always say ''oh you poor thing having to carry her round all day'' or other 'usfull' negative comments, but if it works for you and makes her happier... then just carry on doing that! :)

Bec- Oh, your DD is named Grace too :) Did you still rock her to sleep and put her in the cot? Did she wake up after 30mins at first but then get better after a while?

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Thanks marcellus. No, I don't have that book, I think I'll get it. Because I don't want to let her cry. I don't mind letting her whinge a bit coz that's what she does when I'm holding her and she's trying to get to sleep anyway. But for some reason when I'm not holding her she just can not go to sleep yet, even if I'm with her, the whinging just escalates to full on screaming :( Maybe she's just not ready, hmm.......

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Could be, she is still so very young. She'll change HEAPS in the next 3-6 months, just wait!
Check out your local library, they may have a copy (that's where I got it first time), or your local ABA group if you're a member.
When we used no-cry it took 4 nights to get from only sleeping when held to being able to put DS down first time. Then it took 3 nights for him to get the hang of actually going to sleep in teh bassinet (then cot). All up it took roughly 3 weeks to get from only sleeping in arms to going to sleep all on his own. (we could have actually done it quicker, but at the time we couldn't quite believe that it was working - it seemed quite miraculous).
Of course he stopped doing it at around 6 months cause he hated the cot, then he started teethign... and well, there's always something!

Wow marcellus!! That sounds great, I am definately getting that book!!

marcellus- what's the difference between the books the no cry sleep solution, and no cry nap solution? Which is best?

No idea! I've only read the no-cry sleep solution and no-cry sleep solution for toddlers. The sleep solution one does also cover nap stuff, so might also be of general help... why not see if your library has both? having read two of her books I suspect the advice will be pretty similar anyway.
It's all about making a plan and the three Ps: Persistence, Perseverance and Patience. In the early days you will get LESS sleep, but it'll be worth it if you stick at it. How long it takes depends entirely upon you and your baby.

Well, I still have the same problem, LOL.
I was looking for this thread bc I remember you said marcellus about how long it took you to get your DS from only sleeping in your arms to going to sleep in the cot! I have the book the no cry sleep solution now and was trying out the thing about stopping rocking to sleep but I can't even do the first step!! LOL. As soon as I go to put her in and try keeping my arms around her and rocking she starts crying!! Any tips??

Heaven, the first night it took 10 (!!) attempts to get him to stay asleep when I put him down. Rocked him to sleep (fully) first, then put him down. Patted and ssshhhhed him then picked him up again when he started crying. Then started again...
The first night's the worst - it can take a LOOOOONG time, so try and prepare yourself mentally first;). Once you've done it though, it should get easier. By the fourth night DS went down first go.
Good luck

Just reminding myself to come back to this later.........:D

Oh, I think I gave up too early then thinking it was never going to work, LOL. Thanks marcellus!! Were you doing it night and day too?

NIght sleep was always relatively better so I only did bedtime at first. Also didn't really bother with the night-time wakeups either, just stuck to the usual settling then.
What I found though was once we got into it and the bed time improved, everything else just fell into place.