Crying in the car?

guys i need help, i'm at a loss as to what to do with my ds.
we are gentle parents- never leave our kids to cry, but ds2 constantly cries when he's in the car and it's doing my head in.
i always make sure he's got a clean nappy and give him a breastfeed before i put him in. i make sure the car is nice and warm and he has a lovely mobile above him to look at, but without fail, he will scream. i just can't stop all the time to comfort him as i have my toddler with me as well and we usually have somewhere we have to be! today he screamed for 45mins until we got to our destination and i grabbed him out and cuddled him and he started smiling and giggling. it's so upsetting for me, but wdyd if there's somewhere you have to be?? i just want him to be happy..

I have the same problem :(

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...-car-wdyd.html

It's just a thought.
Bring the car seat inside and put DS in the car seat in the house. If he is fine in the seat in the house, then question, can babies get carsickness that early?
If it is the car seat try and get him used to the seat gradually or when time permits.

Nothing is more distracting than crying or fighting kids in the car.

thanks so much heaven, has it got any better for you? have you found anything that works?

good idea rivlas

No, I haven't found anything that works yet!! It's so horrible :( Someone needs to sit in the back with her otherwise she's just hysterical!! Can't go anywhere on my own!! I really hope she grows out of it!!

Must be an age thing - Nate's exactly the same. His best effort was screaming from Yass to Griffith - 3hours. So do I continue to stop and settle only to have hime start all over every time I go to lift him into the seat, or continue and let him scream - we had to get home....
Car sickness thing might be true. Darcy did the same thing until we turned her seat forward....some people can't ride in buses or trains backwards....

Ds does the exact same thing. at times we'll drive and he doesn't make a sound, but there are times when he'll do the saddest little cry i've ever heard. sounds like he's in pain, he'll cry to where he sounds like he's out of breathe then start coughing, then continue crying once more. as soon as i get him out he stops also.
a little concerning when we're going for a 7 hr drive next wkend. not looking forward to it if he's like that.
i was thinking DS doesn't like to be restrained in his seat, cause he'll sit in it, no straps on, inside the house no drama, have no idea if babies can get car sickness, i didn't even think of that possibility.

DS1 cried when he was rear facing, but was much better once he could face the front. Maybe it is not being able to see mum. I have seen mirrors you can get so they can see you. Just an idea.
Do you have a problem with dummies? They are my solution to everything, as long as bub doesn't just spit it at you of course. :lol:

It could be the fact that he can't see you - my DD LOVES riding in the car (and now that she can talk, is constantly begging to go for drives in the car) and when she was a newborn she would mostly sleep in the car (the motion sent her to sleep) but when she wasn't tired she would scream because she couldn't see me - as soon as she put her capsule facing forward where she could look around at the road and DH and I sitting in the front, we NEVER ever heard another peep out of her in the car (except for happy noise lol).

I know it goes against the gentle parenting ideal, but sometimes (and this situation is one of them) you just have to let them go... I know how harsh that sounds but when you gotta be somewhere, you gotta be somewhere and you can't pull over every five minutes to comfort them - they just have to learn to deal with it... Unless you want to start leaving for your destination two hours in advance so you have all that extra time to be in and out of traffic, comforting him!!

Things should improve when he's big enough to face forward - we put DD's carseat forward much earlier than we should have but she was a really big baby (ie the weight and height requirements were okay, she was just younger than the recommended age) and once she was facing forward and could see that mummy and daddy hadn't left her, she was fine, and we can now do long-distance drives with zero problems.

we had a mobile hanging above him that i removed today and he went a little better so maybe that was partly what was upsetting him?
i can't wait till we can turn him around

i totally understand this! DS was exactly the same. we tried everything - mobile, no mobile, mirrors, music, toys. nothing worked!

once we turned DS forwards it was slightly better but still not great. even now, DS has a limit of 20 minutes (sometimes not even that long) before he goes completely bananas!

sorry - this isn't much help but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. i guess some bubs just don't like the car. ours still doesn't love it but he will travel without screaming now. it will get better, especially when they get more awareness of what's happening around them.

hang in there!

p.s. don't you hate those people who say their bubs fall asleep the second they get in the car!!

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p.s. don't you hate those people who say their bubs fall asleep the second they get in the car!!

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Hehe yep..

I promise they do grow out of it, and turning the seat around helps. But i do agree with Donna- I think this is one situation where you sometimes need to let it go. i almost had an accident on the freeway pulling over to put ds's dummy in (again). In retrospect, it was such a stupid thing to do, but the crying distressed me so much I didn't stop to think about it.

Get some Wiggles cd's, turn it up real loud and sing along. ;)

hugs my dear...
i know a few ppl this has happened with and i think the baby eventually grew out of it?? some of them found it easier when they came out of the capsule and went upright - i know L had some refluxy type issues so maybe lying flat bothers him? what's he like in the pram (some of them also had pram issues and had to sit bubs up earlier?). does music help? maybe if he couuld hear your voice? i dont know what to offer, i hope he grows out of it soon. xxx

Ds was the same for a while. The only way I could fix it was to play meatloaf and sing to it. Sometimes I'd reach back and hold his hand too. Maybe it was just so he didnt feel so alone in a big scary car thats moving in a way he cant control.

He now (kind of) sings along with the radio and meatloaf. So cute to hear :)

my DS also crys whe we put him in the car. it just breaks my heart. If I sit in the back with him he will smile and talk to me the whole time but if i'm buy myself he cries the entire time. It is just horrible!
I can't wait for him to grow out of it.

my friend HAD this problem, and recently solved it. she bought a special mirror that fits on the headrest of the back seat passenger seat - opposite where the baby faces, so the baby looks into the direction of the mirror. it's a bigger mirror (in the middle of a monkey or bear) so from her rear vision mirror, my friend can smile at her baby, WHILE she's driving and talk to her. they can see each other easily.

the mirror (in the toy) is not cheap, like 40 something dollars, she got it from a nz website called beyondbelly. the exchange rate was good, postage was ok.

i had a tiny mirror for my bub, only about 10 x 5cm, that i bought at a baby shop for maybe $7 - it was useless. $40 something dollars sounds heaps, but i can see it's majorily destressed my friend, every time she drives her toddler and baby to the toddler's activities. made me think, maybe it's worth it.

i would link you, if allowed.

gigi- thank you, funny you should mention that LOL i actually went to toys r us yesterday and bought a fisher price precious planet mirror- sounds a lot like your friend's one. it's got a remote control that the driver has that plays special tunes. dh just put it in my car last night, so i'll let you all know how it goes!

Good luck with it, I really hope it works for you!! There's nothing more distracting (or heart-wrenching!) than trying to drive while bubs is in the backseat making themselves hysterical :(

bilby has gone from being a model passenger (when rear facing) to being an absolute whingy nightmare passenger (now front facing).

it was so bad on Tuesday evening, i was so distracted by her hysterical loud whining, i speeded - thru a police speed trap of course - and got my first speeding ticket in 8 years. the cop asked me why i was speeding, and i said "the noise my toddler was making was driving me insane, i stopped watching the speedo like i normally do, all i could think was - we're 2 mins drive from our home - cna't wait to get there, so this noise will stop".

i dread picking her up from childcare now. she is so demanding that i pay her attention, when i have to watch the road and cannot turn around at that exact moment. that ride home seems so long, with her high pitched whine.

oh gigi, that sounds horrible you poor thing!
all i can suggest is that for my toddler we actually have a dvd player and screen on the back of the front seat so that he can watch dvds. we don't have it on all the time, but for long trips or times when we might have to wait in the car for a period of time- he loves it. sometimes i can't get him out of the car!
the mirror went really well yesterday for ds2- no crying!! fingers crossed it keeps working

Rainforest, glad to hear it's working so far - hopefully you're onto something and it will keep being a godsend!!

Gigi, does your visor have a mirror in it, or could you stick one on there and then pay attention to Bilby as you're driving, without having to turn around or mess with your rear-view mirror? DD is the same, loves DH and I looking at her and talking to her while we're driving, and our car has mirrors (with a little slidey cover thing) on the visors so that, at the very least, I have the security of knowing I can just glance up and see what she's up to, without taking my eyes completely off the road (it's very handy because she's figured out how to get her arms out of her harness and reach down beside her seat to get toys etc she's dropped - scares the daylights out of me). Maybe if you can make eye contact with Bilby while you're travelling, she might feel better and not put it on for you?
Good luck :)

Rainforest - my car has a radio, no cd or tape player, i don't think a car dvd player is on the cards for us. i just feel lucky to have a car at all.

i'm glad that fisher price precious planet mirror, worked well for you. You're using that for a rear facing baby aren't you?

GothMum - i can see bilby in my rear vision mirror (she's forward facing now), but don't have a mirror on my visor. (have you guessed by now i don't drive a newish car LOL)?. Maybe i could superglue a small mirror to the visor? will have a try at this (hope i remember).

i really feel i need to focus on the road when driving, i had a ABI (acquired brain injury) some years ago, and have tremendous difficulty focussing on multiple things at once. ergo - I'm not medically allowed to drive a manual since going thru rehab for the ABI, only allowed to drive an auto (for medical reasons).

i feel grateful i survived the abi (near fatal brain virus), rehab (years of it) was so successful that i can drive again, and i have a car now. but i don't want every car ride with bilby to be a whiney nightmare!