Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Making Friends

  1. #1

    Default Making Friends

    Please tell me I'm being a typical over anzious prep Mummy.

    DD started Prep this week. Her first day was Monday and she came home telling me she'd made friend's with a girl "D". Because of how our school introduces the preps, she hasn't gone back until today... along with all 80 of the prep kids.

    DD has gone to long day care since 4.5 months and is used to noise, large groups, and mayhem. But this morning she clung to me when it was time to go in. I put it down to 21 kids, 21 parents (prob more because some had 2 parents there), plus 2 teachers. In one small classroom. I'm convinced she will be fine with this by the end of the week.

    But what I'm worrying about it her not having any friends. DD went through a rough patch at Kinder this year and so we purposely sent her to a different school to all her "friends" (more commonly known as frienemies). But this afternoon when I asked her if she made any new friends today (and she doesn't normally have issues making friends) she said no. I asked her if she played with D today. "no". When I asked, she said that D didn't want to play with her - she wanted to play with another child she made friends with that day. But in class D followed DD around everywhere. When I asked DD who she played with, she said "no one Mum. But that's ok, I like peace and quiet".

    My heart broke for her. To not have anyone to play with is so sad. And now I'm wondering if I made the right choice to send her to a different school to her kinder class.



    Please tell me it gets better. That they make friends. I often didn't have friends in primary school because I moved around a lot and I don't want DD to live through that loneliness. I ran into a kinder mum at the shops this afternoon and was almost in tears telling her. She said that a lot of kids have the same experience but they make friends and by the end of the first month, they all have friends. Tell me she will be ok.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Cloud nine :D
    Posts
    6,309

    Default

    Naw

    It will get better babe xoxox

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    4,601

    Default

    We're not there yet darl but just wanted to give you a big hug I'm sure she will start to make friends as they all settle into 'big school'.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Sunny Qld
    Posts
    14,683

    Default

    Aricyn's first week was like this - by friday he had made one friend.

    Now he has 5 friends! Every day he seems to make another one (except for jordan, jordan is mean apparently lol)

    It does get better - he's even stopped clinging onto me! The teacher had to pry him off me every morning - it was heartbreaking.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    8,986

    Default

    I used to feel the same way when my kids first went to school. I found that in prep the kids tend to play in big groups and don't play one on one until they become more comfortable. So even if she's saying she hasn't made friends she's probably played on the playground or sat in the sandpit with everyone in her class.

    Perhaps you could organise for her to pick a friend to come over for a play after school, or even go to the park after school with a few other mums and their kids.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    4,895

    Default

    It will get better. It is only her second day and all the kids are settling in. My sister is a ps teacher and she has preps this year and she makes sure they are get moved around and do activities to make sure they get to know each other. Your DD sounds like mine and even though she is in kinder. My DD doesn't know anyone either and some of these kids did 3yo together so DD knows noone. I tell her to say to the other kids my name is 'r' what is your name? They'll make friends, I know it is hard to think that but keep up beat about school and try to focus on activities rather than friends when asking your DD about her day. Given that other girl was following her, I'd say she wants to make friends but perhaps she knows the other girl. I think you have done the right thing putting her in a different school from the other kids that wernt particularly nice.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    In my Zombie proof fortress.
    Posts
    6,449

    Default

    You are probably only getting half the story. After awhile if it does really look like she is not making friends, then have a chat to the teacher about it.

    Often DD1 would complain that no-one would play with her. The reality was, that many children were happy to play with her, but just not only what she wanted to do. They all needed to learn to take turns at playing different games and letting someone else decide. Once DD1 got that straight in her ahead (and I assume the other kids as well), all it has all gone pretty well. In fact they all got on so well, that I pretty much had to invite her whole class to her birthday as they were such good friends.

    DD1 had the frenemies at Kinder. Some thankfully went on to different schools, but one did not. I asked for them to be put in separate classes last year (as it was possible), this year though they are all together. They seem to be over each now and here hoping it stays that way.

    Anyway It can be so stressful wondering how they are going with friends, I also had issues with friends growing up.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    VIC
    Posts
    1,794

    Default

    awww hugs hun- it will get better
    if give her a couple more days and if she is still saying that she has no friends- then just mention something to her teacher- she can make sure she is ok at lunch time etc.
    btw i am positive they do prep/grade 6 buddies at your DD school- i am sure they will do that soon and she will be fine.
    btw my friends little girl started in prep at your DD school this year as well. If you want i can get you guys in touch with each other and maybe organise a play after school or something to kick along a friendship. She is ace my friend and really easy going!!!
    let me know if you want her details and i can give her the heads up!!!
    mwah

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,400

    Default

    MG - I have been like a loony trying to chat to other mums to sort out some play dates as DD was the only one from her kinder also. I too was relieved that we were able to start again in some ways but also worried she may struggle. As the days have gone on (we're up to 2 full days and 2 halves) she has opened up more and seemed to gather more people in terms of names etc. We have been lucky enough to be able to hang about and I have been a bit bold and handed out my number to anyone who I meet in her class. I figure I may look desperate but also I cannot be the only one in the same boat.
    Do you get to have an appointment with her teacher to discuss progress? Also are there any getting to know you functions? I am a bit awkward and shy but am trying to shed that idea of myself here lol!
    Good luck - I am sure that things will settle and that your DD is making friends and simply is forgetting to tell you or more focussed on other things. So so so much to learn - for all of us!

  10. #10

    Default

    thanks everyone. I am going to sit back and wait a bit. I'm just so worried for her. She's always had lots of friends and made friends easily. So this is a bit of a shock for me to hear that she's playing alone and hasn't made any friends. This is a kid who makes friends EVERYWHERE!

  11. #11

    Default

    oh *Det* that would be AWESOME! I'll PM you my number. Do you know what class her little one is in? DD is with Miss K.

    There is a morning tea for the parents on Monday I will go to before work but I am mostly on leave until March.

  12. #12

    Default

    I think that if you've had your own issues with friendships at school you tend to be more anxious about your children making friends at school.
    They do take a while to find their feet but I'm sure that your DD will find her friends soon enough. Try not to ask her too many questions because she'll pick up on your anxiety even if she doesn't really grasp what your anxious about.

    Are there any opportunities to volunteer at your school? If you can volunteer it might give you more insight into how well she's getting on with her peers. I like helping out with reading because it gives me a chance to see what my little men get up to at school and to get to know their friends.

  13. #13

    Default

    I had wanted to do that Onyx but am working full time now. I am on leave for a month and am going to volunteer for one of the days whilst I'm on leave. Thanks for the advice, I will try to play it low key. After she mentioned friends I asked more about learning. I got told that "spiders have 8 eyes and 8 legs and the world is round and that's enough learning for you today mum"

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •