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thread: Repeating prep

  1. #19
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2011
    SE Melbourne
    2,975

    Ah, I see.
    I repeated year 11, so I turned 18 in year 12. I wasn't sure what the concern would be.
    I think it's what is going to happen, but I worry. Mostly I think he's just immature, but what if I'm wrong?
    What if his resilience doesn't increase and he never figures out how to connect socially or protect himself?
    What if, what if, hey? It's ok. I know there are no answers and I just need to go with my gut. I just don't want to get it wrong and break him.
    Whichever way you go, the will be positives, and negatives,and neither way is terrible.... Just because the research doesn't really support repeating doesn't mean EVERY will have a poor outcome- research is just research... I posted that article caused think its a good summary of the issues. If you are gong to do it, absolutely prep is the best year to do so. Even if he is not immature and there is more going on, as long as it is introduced as a positive thing for him it will turn out okay.

    Being a parent is hard work

  2. #20
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2011
    SE Melbourne
    2,975

    Can I pls hijack for a second here?
    Myturn, I gather you work in child psychology?
    I read the article that you posted about earlier in this thread, and there is a question that doesn't seem to be answered.
    If it has been shown that repeating makes no difference to the eventual out come to the child's academic performance, it's it then proven or accepted that keeping with their peers is BETTER from an academic point of view?
    Or do you just accept that if your prep child is struggling, then they will continue to struggle throughout their school career, because delaying school entry or repeating them is pointless?

    I am currently trying to decide weather to delay entry (next year) for my ds. (He will turn 5 in April next year)
    He does not seem to be on a par with his current kindly peers either academically or socially (he prefers to play with the kid in the room below him)

    The school special needs teacher is assessing him today at kindy, so hopefully she can shed some light.

    Everyone keeps telling me to send hi, and if he doesn't cope, they will keep him back.
    But I don't want to send him if he is not ready, it feels to me like I am setting him up to fail.
    I guess there are different questions here -

    A direct link to staying with your peers being better can't be made.... Of course children still improve and you can't say that they will always struggle, having said that, if your child has a diagnosed disability then the trajectory of improvement/learning will be different to a typically developing child. Personally I think if you are not sure, holding him back a year would be better than repeating once he gets there. I have not been able to find good research about whether holding a child back is a good idea or not, there is mixed research as far as I can see - and i have looked!!! Its a question I face a lot!

    There are always going to be some kids who do well and some kids that struggle, I would love to say that every child has the capacity to achieve to a certain level, but the reality is, some kids struggle more than others, and always do.

    We need to name sure as parents we are advocating for their needs, rather than pushing for them to achieve more. I think it sounds like you are doing exactly that. sorry to hear you are finding the decision difficult . See what the special ed teacher finds and that may help you make a decision.

  3. #21
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Sep 2008
    Gold Coast
    1,153

    Thanks for that, the special ed teacher said to defiantly hold him back, he is nowhere near ready.
    I am happy with the outcome, but I will be seeking further intervention for him as I feel that he may need a little more help than just time to mature.
    Thanks

  4. #22
    BellyBelly Member

    Jul 2007
    Glenroy
    1,458

    Re: Repeating prep

    Well, it's official. After meeting with the psych, teacher and vp today we are keeping ds in prep for another year. I get it, I know it's right, I'm just so very sad.
    In the last couple of days he has got his first party invitation for the year and started talking about who he wants to invite to his birthday, so he's definitely moving forward, I just don't think it's enough. He's also still struggling with fine and gross motor skills.
    But he has also started talking about going int grade 1 next year, and now we have to tell him he isn't.
    We're going to go with 'there are some things we want you to get more practice with before you start grade 1', but I still can't predict how he will take it. I think we'll hold off til Friday so he has the weekend to process it.
    I don't want to hurt his feelings

  5. #23
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Sep 2008
    Gold Coast
    1,153

    Re: Repeating prep

    Lara, I am sorry you feel sad, but you are doing the right thing.
    Come 2 weeks into the new term next year, it is likely your DS will have forgotten about grade one anyway.
    He will have new friends.

    As for telling him he is staying in prep, can you come at it from the angle that he is needed to help show the new kids about how prep works?
    Maybe you could talk to his teacher about making him her special helper with the new kids.
    Just an option.
    Good luck.

  6. #24
    BellyBelly Member

    Jul 2007
    Glenroy
    1,458

    Re: Repeating prep

    Thanks, LTD, I thought about that, but I don't want him to feel like it's his job or responsibility. It's something he would take very seriously. We will list it as a perk, though, that he can help them get settled.

  7. #25
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2008
    Perth, WA
    2,315

    Re: Repeating prep

    Thanks for the update. Sorry that you are sad about the decision. How did the school and psych suggest you frame the news? Is there a prep/1 composite class he can go into? Would that ease the transition?

  8. #26
    BellyBelly Member

    Jul 2007
    Glenroy
    1,458

    Re: Repeating prep

    They didn't really give me much, but no, there are no composites.
    We've decided to hold off til Friday to tell him so he will have the weekend to process.
    Deep breaths

  9. #27
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Feb 2012
    Melbourne , Victoria
    2,109

    Re: Repeating prep

    Good on you. A wise decision... You've given your son a great gift. The opportunity to grow more and the gift of time.

  10. #28
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Feb 2006
    South Eastern Suburbs, Vic
    6,054

    Re: Repeating prep

    Our eldest repeated kinder and it was by far the best thing we could have done for him. He's pretty switched on academically, but socially/emotionally he desperately needed that extra year. (And I'm slightly excited at the prospect of him doing the school run occasionally in year 12. I hope it'll be allowed!)
    Can the teacher help you with breaking the news? They might have some experience with others who've had to repeat prep and might have some thoughts on the best way to explain it? Is it the type of school where kids from different year levels play together? If it's a smallish school, he'll still see his old friends in the schoolyard.

  11. #29
    BellyBelly Member

    Jul 2007
    Glenroy
    1,458

    Re: Repeating prep

    Can the teacher help you with breaking the news? They might have some experience with others who've had to repeat prep and might have some thoughts on the best way to explain it? Is it the type of school where kids from different year levels play together? If it's a smallish school, he'll still see his old friends in the schoolyard.
    I hadn't thought of that, but it's a good idea. Thanks

  12. #30
    BellyBelly Member

    Jul 2007
    Glenroy
    1,458

    Re: Repeating prep

    Well, we told him yesterday morning, snuggled up in bed before his sister had woken up.
    His first reaction was no, he didn't want to, but didn't get upset really. He had a few questions, but not as much as I expected.
    I actually thought we would get more once he'd gone to bed because that's where he does his processing, but nothing as yet. He's either forgotten all about it or he's turning it over in his head still.


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