Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 18 of 42

Thread: taking bullying further

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Victoria
    Posts
    1,635

    Default taking bullying further

    Hi guys.

    for 2 years DS has been bullied and harassed by a child 2 years above him. It is normally verbal harassment (following him around calling him a baby, threatening to break his bones), targeting him when playing tiggy, and last year he trapped DS in a small area after throwing leaves over him, and DS was so anxious (he has special needs) that he lashed out and broke a window next to him.

    I have been to the old principle a few times, spoke to his teacher a few times, took it to the principle last year and formally reported it and wanted something done other than writing the boy in the yard duty book, and calling the boy into the principles office. I got bogged down with other issues and other than getting an email back saying they were taking it very seriously and dealing with it, I never found out what steps they were actually taking.

    I was giving DS a bath and he had 2 bruises on his side. I asked how it happened (he is a bit of a klutz), and he told me he was sitting on top of the tunnel and the other boy told him to move and he said no so the boy pushed him off. He told the yard duty teacher (who was the bully's old teacher so knew the history) and the teacher made him apologize and if it happened again it would be written in the yard duty book. DS said he didn't feel like the boy meant it as he was smiling.

    We have been dealing with it with DS psychologist as DS also has anxiety, and she feels he is telling the truth and it is effecting his ability to feel safe.



    I am beyond furious! If the school thinks they have seen me angry and protective before they have seen nothing yet

    I will be in the principles office on Monday morning, and documenting this (including photos) over the weekend. What I want to know is what are my rights to ask for to happen (personally I want the boy suspended & a formal assembly about bullying & the know exactly what steps were taken last incident).

    I have looked up the department of education website regarding bullying, but it doesn't have anything about taking further (probably because they don't want to egg the parents on, but this has been going on for 2 years so I am sick of it). Anyone know what the policy is.

    My mum reckons I should threaten the boy with the police & call the parents, but even in my anger I know that is a bad idea!

    Has anyone taken the school to the department of education??

    Thanks!

  2. #2

    Default taking bullying further

    My DS is still very young so no experience to offer but just wanted to give your thread a bump.

    I feel so sad that your poor DS is going through this!

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    7,260

    Default

    I don't think your mum is too far out in left field. I would probably be inclined to suggest that I would contact the police to take up the matter if the school are not willing to do anything more than pay you lip service.

    I hope you can find an outcome though without resorting to taking action outside of the school, this must be horrible for your boy.

  4. #4

    Default

    Oh that sucks

    Totally unacceptable. I hope you get some answers xo

  5. #5

    Default

    I would go further than asking for an assembly. I would demand an assurance that they are implementing a school wide anti-bullying program. Something along the lines of FreindlySchools Plus or similar. If this child is getting away with it then he's probably not the only one. It is disgraceful that they are not protecting the more vulnerable embers of the school community.

    Have you had a look at the Bullying No Way site? It might have some links or information that could be useful.
    http://bullyingnoway.gov.au/parents/...ied/index.html

  6. #6

    Default taking bullying further

    That's so horrible Yael,
    I don't have any advice but I hope they make the changes needed!

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    In a cloud of madness.
    Posts
    4,053

    Default

    You can take it to the dep. of education. I'm not sure what they are called in Vic but in NSW we have regional offices where futher complaints can be made. I found the wesbite with the info but not sure if i'm allowed to post it??
    How old are the boys?? Also in NSW (not sure about Vic but maybe something similar??) we have a school liaison police officer. They can come into schools and do workshops with kids about bullying and the consequences. SOmetimes someone in a uniform might be needed...
    Definately make a complaint. You are well within your rights to ask your school principal for a copy of and policies and to ask where you can take complaints higher. If they are not using thier duty of care then you need to step in and make it know.
    I wouldn't call the other parent, i think that would add fuel to the fire and i can see them getting defensive and it not ending well.
    Big hugs to all involved. Hopefully you can get some things happening to prevent this happening again. xx

  8. #8

    Default

    The school needs an anti-bullying policy that works.

    As this is not an isolated incident and could have been far worse for your DS (although it was more than bad enough), a short-term suspension and his parents told about his behaviour with a written warning is a minimum. It is the school's fault if the bully's parents do not already know about this. The school should deal with the bully's parents WITHOUT mentioning your son or you at all. You should not talk to them about this for your own protection (many children are monkey see, monkey do after all).

    If there is no anti-bullying policy and they won't put one in, or if there is one and it is not being implemented, the police and the local education authority over the school would be the next step. Do not use this as a threat, just do it. Otherwise they'll placate you with a token gesture (yes, a week's suspension can be a token gesture) and do nothing for all the other children - or your son when the bully returns. It speaks well for your organised mind that you thought to take pictures and document this straight away.

    I am so angry for you and your son, Yael. How dare this happen to your son.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    In snuggle land
    Posts
    4,499

    Default

    I'm not up with schools and bullying policies and procedures, but why couldn't you go straight to the police with this? It's assault.

  10. #10

    Default

    Due to the age of the bully, it is the onus of the victim to prove malicious intent rather than an accident. His parents can claim "kids will be kids", have their defences up and the police may not dig without a written backstory that the school agrees with. And due to the age, the police may still do nothing.

    Although you can report the school for not making a note of the incident (the child was told it would be written down "next time" - beggers belief that) as it was a serious "accident" that caused your son harm.

  11. #11

    Default taking bullying further

    My dd was locked in a toilet by a bulky last year. We were told that if a child is locked in a confined space, it has to be reported to the dept. I'm in the same state as you.

    I would be asking for a written plan on how they intend to deal with this situation.

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Home, where else??
    Posts
    1,177

    Default

    I would be documenting the bruises and taking the photos to school on Monday. Demand to speak to the principal and the teacher on duty.

    Contact the Dept of Education and lay a formal complaint about the principal also. Two years is more than enough time to resolve this issue and it is escalating (there is now physical violence).

    Good luck.
    Last edited by Chocaholic; February 1st, 2013 at 09:05 PM. Reason: spelling

  13. #13

    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,400

    Default

    Make an appointment with the principal, ask for the process that was followed after your last discussion and then for an explanation as to how this incident was allowed to happen. I would expect some firm process in place and that the other student has had some consequences and clear boundaries explained as have their parents. Depending on your feelings after this I would then lodge a complaint with the dept of ed. I think you need to address your issues with the school first up - then seek further advice support as/if required. I had some issues last year and there were very clear guidelines around the child, family and addressing the issues. Make a list of your questions and objectives before you go in.

  14. #14

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Igglepiggle Land
    Posts
    2,742

    Default

    I'd most definitely be querying the effectiveness of this schools bullying policy with the education board.

    Depending on their stance / reaction I'd go to the media personally. Bullying in my State has been the cause of a lot of media attention....And from my experience once media become involved problems seem to become solved rather quickly

    If media don't pick up the story then I'd be advising the principle that police will become involved next incident and each one thereafter.

  15. #15

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Igglepiggle Land
    Posts
    2,742

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mother Goose View Post
    My dd was locked in a toilet by a bulky last year. We were told that if a child is locked in a confined space, it has to be reported to the dept. I'm in the same state as you.

    I would be asking for a written plan on how they intend to deal with this situation.
    Whaaaaat???? Poor Miss A

  16. #16

    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    The zoo
    Posts
    735

    Default

    Everyone has given good, practical advice and I can't really add more but I am so sad and angry for you. Every kid deserves to feel safe at school and anywhere else they go and the school is seriously failing your poor little man. I won't even start on what kind of parents raise a child capable of being such a bully.

    My only advice to you at home is to let your son see that you are angry (if you're not already). He needs to know that this is absolutely nothing to do with him, but is ALL to do with the other kid. I hate the thought of your DS feeling less of himself because of it. I want to give him a big hug now

  17. #17

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    7,260

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LizLemon View Post
    I won't even start on what kind of parents raise a child capable of being such a bully.
    I'm sorry, but that is a disgraceful thing to say. You have no idea about this child's parents or his situation or anything that puts you in a position to be so rude and ignorantly judgmental.

  18. #18

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    within a puff of pink
    Posts
    3,315

    Default taking bullying further

    Quote Originally Posted by LimeSlice View Post
    I'm sorry, but that is a disgraceful thing to say. You have no idea about this child's parents or his situation or anything that puts you in a position to be so rude and ignorantly judgmental.

    Agree with this!!

    My daughter (8) has been the bully (well i not sure if i would say bully as she doesn't target one child and its jot constant) Not a physical bully but she knows how to strike a few words to hurt. I have and always address the issue and punish her as I see fit. I have had the school also support the ways I deal with it. I am not a bad parent because of this. My daughter is not a horrible child either, she is a child who is learning her way through the world. Doesn't excuse her behavior one bit though and she isn't allowed to eat away with it.

    As for the OP situation I would def follow it up and speak to the principal. I don't know the age of the children in question so not sure what else I would do.

    I hope it does cease immediately for you though.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •